When to Let Go

Are you going to say sorry or not? A podcast on when to let go of your story to move forward in life.

Transcript

Hey everybody,

Thank you so much for joining.

This is Elizabeth Cantu and I'm coming to you from Huntington Beach,

California.

This is podcast numero uno.

My first podcast,

I'm super excited.

So today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about being able to let go of the past.

You know,

A lot of times holding on to the past is doing absolutely nothing for us,

Right?

So as we hold on to the past,

It definitely does not allow us to move forward to the future.

So many times you hear people talking about,

Oh,

This happened to me and,

You know,

Continuing to carry on everything that has happened to them before into the present,

Thus now not allowing them to move forward in the future.

So when you keep holding on to your story,

Your story is what keeps you from moving forward,

Right?

Because what happened to you maybe a couple of years ago,

Is that who you are today?

If what happened to you,

Let's just say that something terrible happened to you about two years ago.

Okay?

Now you're evolving and changing every single day.

So two years ago,

Are you that same person?

Are you the same person that you're looking at in the mirror two years ago?

Absolutely not.

I would hope that you're changing.

And a lot of times,

Most times,

Those experiences come into our life to teach us a lesson.

So two years ago,

What happened to you?

If that happened to you today,

How would you deal with that differently?

So that means that it's now time to let go of that moment.

Because as you continue to keep holding on to that moment that happened to you two years ago,

It is not allowing you to step forward into the present and into the future.

So I have a quote that I created a while ago that said,

It's up to you to decide whether you want to drag your moment out for minutes,

Hours,

Days,

Months,

Or a lifetime.

And some people,

They allow that time to be drug out.

They drag it out for days,

Months,

Years,

A lifetime.

So I have a story.

So I had a gentleman that I was taking care of.

Most of you don't know,

I am a registered nurse and I've worked in trauma for years and working in the emergency department.

So I had an old man that I was taking care of.

And this guy was so grouchy.

I cannot even tell you.

The minute that he came in,

He was just pissed off and upset at everybody.

So I always take that as a challenge.

Like,

Oh,

I'm going to see if I can make this guy smile.

So I meet this gentleman,

I bring him in,

I sit him down and we start talking.

Now I'm not your average nurse.

And clearly that's why I decided to take a career and shift from nursing to life coaching and to business coaching.

Because there's something else.

There's another gift that I have and that's to connect with people.

So anyways,

I bring this gentleman in,

We're sitting down and we start talking.

You know,

Hey,

What and what did you bring in with you,

Sir?

So I sit him down and we're talking about,

I'm asking him what belongings he brought with him.

So he tells me,

Well,

I brought a pack of cigarettes.

Okay,

That's that's what you brought with you.

But that's the only thing in my life that means anything of any importance because it helps take my stress away.

So this guy is in his seventies.

He brings a pack of cigarettes with him and he tells me that's all he's got.

His wife is sitting out in the waiting room and all he's got is a pack of cigarettes.

So as we start talking a little bit more,

I'm asking him questions and okay,

Sir,

So tell me more like why is it that you believe that your cigarettes are the only thing that's important to you?

And he says,

Well,

You know,

Everybody else in my life has hurt me.

Everybody else has been nobody's been there for me.

You know,

The same old story,

Right?

Nobody's there for me.

Nobody's nobody wants to help me.

You know,

This guy's had a lot of pain in his life.

So as we're talking,

We start talking some more and then he shares with me a very dark secret,

You know,

And a lot of people do this with me.

So he starts to tell me how his wife had an affair when they were married and had a baby with another man.

And so that gentleman that slept with his wife left and took off and wanted nothing to do with her.

So now this woman is here,

She's pregnant and this man loves his wife.

What is he going to do?

So he stays with her.

He stays with her.

He raises the kid and he's just heartbroken,

Right?

Because then they end up getting a divorce and now he's not,

No,

He doesn't see the kid anymore.

So for years,

This man has carried this pain with him and it's terrible to see that because what you have inside of your heart is what you give to other people.

So now this man has experienced so much heartache and he's so angry.

All he's doing is projecting that anger onto everybody that he comes into contact with.

And the only thing that gives him solace is smoking cigarettes.

So as we're talking,

He starts to open up to me just a little bit more.

And what I do is I take my hand and I put it on his chest,

On his heart,

And I say,

Listen,

No one is ever going to be able to give you the detailed apology that you need to hear ever.

And the reason for that is because if people knew your heart in the first place,

They would not break it.

So you'll never hear the detailed apology that you need to hear from your wife,

Your ex-wife in order to free you from that pain.

And he just,

He cried.

He started crying.

And it is true.

If you're holding on to a moment of pain and experience,

Something someone's done to you,

You'll never be able to move forward if you don't recognize that person is not going to ever give you the detailed apology that your heart needs to hear.

It is so hard to do that because we give our,

We give everything we've got to people.

We have faith in them.

We trust them.

We want them to take care of our heart the way that we would take care of theirs.

And sometimes people can't do that.

And so we end up getting heartbroken.

But the thing is,

When you're able to recognize that somebody cannot apologize to you to be able to release that pain,

It's so freeing.

You free yourself in that moment when you're able to recognize that,

You know what,

This person that hurt me is not going to be able to tell me,

You know what,

I'm sorry that I did this to you.

I'm sorry that I made you feel this way.

I'm sorry that I didn't recognize that you were so awesome.

I'm sorry for everything.

It's like you have a,

You know,

You have a list in your mind thinking,

Oh my gosh,

If they would just freaking say sorry for this,

Then I would be able to move forward.

Well,

Guess what?

The chances of that happening is very slim to none.

So at what point do you,

At what point do you decide that,

You know,

That the person that has hurt you or these circumstances that have come into your life,

They're not going to go away until you can let them go.

And how do you let that go?

You let that go by recognizing that those people are not going to apologize to you the way that you need to hear it.

And you move forward because holding onto that moment is doing nothing for you.

It serves no purpose in your life at all whatsoever.

All it does is just bring you pain and frustration and agony,

And you're not able to move forward in your life.

After that moment,

Sitting with that gentleman,

After we,

After I told him those exact words,

He said to me,

Oh my God,

I wish somebody would have told me that years ago because I wouldn't have lived my life like this.

Thank you so much.

And sometimes it's just recognizing that you debt that no longer serves you,

That you yourself are able to move forward and let that go.

If it doesn't serve any purpose in your life,

There's no reason to hold onto it.

I wanted to just be able to share that message with you guys and just let you know that you don't need to hold on to moments that no longer serve you anymore because all it's doing is just holding you back from your future.

So you know what?

If there's somebody that you need to forgive,

Something that you need to let go of,

You know,

Take baby steps and get there because you're not going to be able to move to change your life until you do that.

Right.

So,

Hey,

Listen,

Guys,

I know it's hard,

But you just have to try.

You got to take that first step to trying to let go of things so that you can live a fulfilled,

Authentic life that you deserve.

Right.

All right,

Guys,

This Elizabeth Cantu,

I'm really grateful and so excited that I was able to share this message with you guys.

Please subscribe,

Please share,

Please like,

Please comment.

I'd love to be able to have your feedback.

You know,

If there's anything that you guys want to hear,

Any message that you want me to share,

Let me know.

I'm super open and willing to do that.

So again,

This Elizabeth Cantu signing off and I hope you guys have an amazing day and I'll be talking to you soon.

All right.

Bye.

Reviews

Elizabeth, thankyou so much. I needed to hear this. Much love.

That was w wonderful story. Thank you for your service to our community. Thank you for being a guide to the rest of us

Wise words beautifully said. And congrats on a wonderful first podcast! Peter

Elizabeth! Thank you for the counsel I will be back hitting the play button! I am grateful for the medicine. 😊🙏🌟

Thank you for sharing that story, it’s a great example of the power of letting go.

Excellent message.

Just exactly what I needed to hear. I have been living in a place of pain. It's time to let it go. Thank you

Great story and totally relatable. Thank you, and best of luck on your podcasts!🙏

Powerful and true.

Thanks Elizabeth, it helped release some pain.

What a beautiful story ! Thank you for sharing! I am definitely going to find more talks from you !

Needed this at this very moment. Thank you!

Beautiful. I cried about the old man! Thank goodness you were his doctor!

Elizabeth thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Great message. Please share more. Do you have a podcast?

Wonderful podcast. The beginning of healing for many. Thank you.💗

Thank you 🙏🌊🙏

So simple and made so much sense, yet often we do wait for apologies that we aren't going to get. Thank you.

Wow!!! I thought I had let go, but I guess I hadn't... Thank you for sharing I needed to hear that the apology I thought I so desperately needed is never coming. After realizing that I also realize that I don't need it. Now I know I have let go. Thank you!!!!! Namaste