Transforming Difficult Situations - Weekly Energy Boost

A new perspective on life can help us overcome adversity. Learn how Kabbalalists decipher feelings of rejection, betrayal, even humiliation as positive indicators of growth and change. Original airdate: 12/6/21

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I am here this lovely Monday morning with my good friend and neighbor,

Bhatti Salomon.

Bhatti and I are talking to you this morning about transforming difficult situations.

The Weekly Energy Boost is your seven-day spiritual energy forecast.

What we strive to do is to provide our listeners with the most powerful and practical tools and wisdom to navigate the coming week,

But those tools and that wisdom inevitably support us all year long,

All lifelong.

The reason we're talking about transforming difficult situations,

And if I had my druthers,

I might give the episode a different title,

Something more along the lines of facing unwanted responses from people.

The reason for that is,

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah,

This week is a week that has the potential to provide us with opportunities that,

I guess,

In street language,

Street terms,

We might say confrontational.

And if you look back in our episode archive,

We have talked about confrontation almost every December for the last three years.

So we decided this week,

Instead of talking about confrontation or confrontation in anger or confrontation in relationships,

We are going to talk about the other side of confrontation,

Which is receiving the confrontation.

And what's interesting about that,

And Batya and I chatted about this briefly,

Is that why are we so afraid of confrontation?

What are we so,

Why do we,

We call it confrontation.

And if you've taken classes with us,

You know that the class where we talk about proactive confrontation,

We actually call it proactive communication because it's that perception that there is going to be a struggle or pushback or rejection or humiliation that actually,

That's why we run away from it or we avoid it or we,

I guess that obviously we have to acknowledge some of our listeners who love confrontation.

There are some people who are just waiting to start a fight with anybody and everybody,

But I do think that they're in the,

They're in the minority.

And if they're honest with themselves,

There's also areas of life where they are avoiding confronting.

A lot of us,

I think also avoid confronting ourselves,

Right?

We know that maybe we're doing something we shouldn't be doing,

Or there's something we're avoiding addressing or facing.

So today we want to talk about all of those things that we anticipate might result from and those reasons that we avoid or put off the confrontation and all of the reasons why we should be leaping into it rather than avoiding it.

Because it really is the part of us that doesn't want the confrontation,

It's not our true selves.

That's the ego part of us.

That's what we call in Kabbalah,

The opponent.

Our opponent wants us to stay small,

To think small,

To shirk from opportunities.

And so today we're going to be talking about what those opportunities may look like and what are the blessings that are waiting for us on the other side of embracing the opportunity to have difficult conversations or to face difficult topics.

And to start us off,

I give you Batya Solomon.

Thank you,

Elisheva.

Well,

I'd like to address something you said.

You seem to imply that a confrontation is a fight.

And I think a lot of people have that misunderstanding.

When you think of the word confrontation,

Confrontation means to confront,

Front to face.

It's really about coming face to face.

When someone you say likes confrontation,

I like to confront people,

But I don't think of it as fighting.

I think of it as there's space between us.

I want to remove the space between us.

What can we do to remove the space?

However,

If a person is not thinking like that and they're thinking,

Oh,

Oh,

They want to have the talk,

They're going to tell me what's wrong with me,

Then I'm going to feel bad,

Maybe there's some shaming and humiliation involved,

And then we confuse that with confrontation.

That's not confrontation.

That's pretty much an attack and boundary violation.

I think if more people learned or educated in the art of confrontation,

We'd see a lot more peace between individuals and collectively in the world.

Because why would you want to confront someone in the first place?

The only reason you'd want to confront them is because there's an agitation.

There's something at unrest there.

You want to make it go away,

Let's say.

So in a typical marriage,

For example,

Or roommate situation,

Or even best friends,

When you live with somebody especially,

They're going to get on your nerves.

There's going to be a lot of things that trigger you for whatever reason.

And that,

You know,

Caballistically,

Here's where we separate the adults from the children.

Caballistically we have this opportunity to say,

Okay,

What's really going on with me?

Is it just I want them to just change and not feel better?

If that's the case,

You can expect a lot more fighting and unrest in the relationship and in the environment.

But if you're asking,

Okay,

I'm being triggered,

Somehow they're triggering me.

I'm not even having clarity about why I'm being triggered,

But I do want to remove the space I now feel with that person.

They're important to me for whatever reason.

If you work together,

If you live together,

Whatever.

And you approach it from that perspective rather than feeling that either you're going to attack someone,

And that's called confrontation,

Or you're going to feel attacked,

In which case we resort to the good old passive aggressiveness of avoiding the situation.

But we're going to get them back somehow some ways so we feel vindicated.

So really what goes on with this idea,

Before the confrontation,

There's a lack,

There's a space.

Something's missing or I feel something has been taken from me.

My peace,

My control of how I think things should be,

And that other person is responsible.

Or are they really responsible?

That's really the question.

And if we look at confrontation more of an inquiry rather than an attack,

We would get a lot further a lot faster.

But we've got to work our way up to that.

So when you think of confrontation,

Don't think of conflict.

Conflict and confrontation are actually two different things.

There's a conflict,

And because of the conflict,

It's necessary to have a confrontation.

We want to confront the situation.

We want to take the problem and remove it from between us to you and I.

Let's look at the problem together,

Not between us,

But push it to the side more or less and say,

Okay,

What's happening here?

Here's how I'm feeling.

How are you feeling?

Here's what life is like on my side of the situation.

What is life like on your side of the situation?

Did we have a misunderstanding?

Did I misunderstand your motives?

Am I triggered because of something in the past that has nothing even to do with you,

Which happens so much of the time?

When we don't use those rules and we go into what feels like conflict,

What we call confrontation,

But it's actually an attack.

You did this,

And I'm now mad at you.

You better fix it so I'll feel better.

If that's the scenario that you're familiar with,

I wholeheartedly encourage you right here and right now,

Drop it,

Change it.

It doesn't work.

It only adds to more pain and suffering.

That's not a way to go about it.

It's also important to also,

If you're in a caring relationship with someone and you really do want to remove the space between you,

Listen to this podcast together and figure out,

Okay,

What can we do?

What are the rules?

What could be our confrontation rules that we could work with rather than feeling attacked?

The most important thing I think I heard you say in the last five minutes or so.

Only one?

The most important.

Oh,

Okay.

The biggest nugget there was the word should,

And I think that that's where the process of looking within and reflecting on what's my problem.

If I feel that there needs to be a talk,

It's because I perceive that there's a problem,

And if you can identify the should in your narrative,

You've succeeded.

Whenever we think that something should or shouldn't happen,

The other person should behave this way or shouldn't talk this way or I should feel this in this relationship,

There is another nugget waiting to be unearthed there.

That's why the Kabbalists explain,

And that's really the purpose of this week's episode,

Is to help us begin that confrontation with introspection,

With reflection within.

Where is the space within me that I can close?

This situation,

Actually we have a question from somebody who's watching live,

And she's asking,

I want to work out a conflict with someone,

But they don't want to.

What's the message the creator is trying to send me?

I have shared this repeatedly in both on the podcast and in classes.

I can think of a hundred different scenarios where someone that I know,

A student or a friend was preparing for a confrontation and doing that internal work,

And the other person came to them first and said,

You know what?

I have to apologize,

Or I got to call myself out on what happened the other day.

The inner process is actually the reason the prompt for the confrontation happens,

Is because the creator,

The universe,

Call it what you'd like,

Wants us to check in with us first and see,

Where can I shift my perspective?

Where is the lesson for me in whatever opposition or conflict I'm experiencing right now?

The fear or worry that there is going to be some sort of rejection,

Pushback,

I'm going to be wrong.

A lot of people don't like to feel that they're wrong or they're in the wrong.

There's people that have the bit of the justice,

I want to be right,

I don't want to be wrong.

The knowledge,

And again,

This is something that's come up in the last few weeks,

Is that opposition is not a bad thing.

It's actually a good sign,

And for every positive effort out there,

There is an equal and opposite push that's going to be met with,

That you will be met with,

That we are met with,

Really for us to grow.

It's not enough to be a good person.

We've got to be a better person.

Each time we set out to have a talk with someone,

I think often at times it comes from,

The closer you are with somebody,

The easier it is to be rubbed the wrong way,

And to take things personally.

The more we realize that those challenges are there,

That adversity is there for us to grow,

The easier it is to slide into it and embrace what it's meant to give us.

The problem happens when we think it's about the other person.

I'm thinking about,

For many years we had study groups all over the world,

And I remember a person coming to me from one of the study groups and saying,

Listen,

So and so is really doing X,

Y,

And Z,

It's not appropriate,

It's not fair,

Another,

They shouldn't be doing this.

I invited them out to coffee on Sunday morning and we're going to talk it out.

I said to her,

Call him up and cancel coffee,

Because the way that you're going to work it out is actually just by yourself.

You're the one who has the problem with what he's doing.

He doesn't have a problem with you.

What are you going to do?

You're going to call him and tell him you're going to have coffee,

Bring him the cup of coffee,

Here's your cappuccino,

Now let me tell you where you're wrong,

What you're doing badly.

You're famous,

When they change,

I'll feel better.

For that,

I'm talking to the people who are getting invited out to coffee,

Who someone has something to tell them,

Quote unquote,

What's worse than getting the text,

We need to talk.

Why are we afraid of that?

Because we're afraid that we're going to be called out on something,

We're going to be in the wrong,

We're going to be humiliated or rejected,

Or there's going to be some sort of unwanted bomb that is on the other side of that text.

In Kabbalah,

We learn that those moments are actually the moments of greatest growth because again,

It's not our true selves that are being humiliated or rejected or feeling that.

It's not even a real thing.

It's like,

Even though it can feel very real,

It's almost like being in a simulator.

You're sitting in a seat,

I can think of many times where I've been called out on different things I could have done better or maybe I would like to,

I've been criticized about things,

And in that moment I'm sitting there and even though the tears might be welling up in my eyes,

I am breathing in and I am enjoying it because I know that it's almost like the layers of weight are being peeled off of me so that I can live into my next level.

I can't live with those layers anymore.

Well,

The layers were the avoiding the confrontation I take it,

Right?

Because that has a very devastating effect on people.

They don't realize it can affect a person's health,

Mental health,

Emotional health,

Stress.

But I want to go a little deeper than that.

Why do we fear being called out on anything?

And the reason is most of us are actually holding ourselves in contempt most of the time.

We don't really think about it.

If you don't think about it,

Think about it right now.

Pay attention to that little voice in your head that's constantly telling you what you're doing wrong,

How you're being wrong,

How you're not enough,

How I'm guilt and shame over what I should have done and I didn't do.

So we're so busy getting beat up that somebody just,

You know,

It's like dry grass,

Right,

In the scorching sun.

All someone has to do is strike a little match and it all goes up and it feels like you're being attacked.

It feels like the world is coming to an end.

It's just the pain of someone saying what I did wrong now feels so unbearable.

I'll do anything to escape being quote unquote confronted.

Why?

Because we're like walking time bombs.

Pretty much everyone in this world,

By the way,

Is walking around with shame and guilt about something.

Let's be realistic.

And that is really what prompts a person to have fear about being confronted about something else.

It's not what,

It's even after the person says what they're going to say,

Right?

Oh,

You didn't wash the dishes or whatever it was.

The buildup of the coming confrontation,

That's a torture.

It's an absolute,

I can't sleep.

I'm going to have to talk to my boss tomorrow.

I'm going to go to work.

Oh,

And a coworker.

We left with bad words.

And then a million scenarios go on in the head,

Right?

And all of them involve somehow being tortured and maimed or something like that.

And the guilt and the shame and the anticipation,

The anticipated humiliation that's going to come along with this quote unquote confrontation of the let's,

We got to talk business.

This is really what throws us off balance.

You know,

And first of all,

If you're going through that and you recognize it,

You're so ahead of the game.

Most of us are in denial about it.

But I suggest to you that if you are going through,

Let's say,

Some sort of emotional anxiety,

Stress,

Physical ailments,

Body ailments you can't explain,

You might want to just look into,

I'm not a doctor.

I'm not giving you medical advice,

But I'm saying and suggesting,

You know,

Maybe we're going to look into that cough that never goes away.

The pain in the back or the leg or the knee or whatever that seems to constantly harass you.

There's no logical reason to be feeling that way or the weight that just never comes off.

These are possible indications that there's a lot of denial avoidance of confronting within oneself.

What am I holding myself in contempt for?

The not speaking up for myself,

The fear of what will happen if I do speak up for myself,

If I do say my truth,

Live my truth.

Will they not love me anymore?

Will they leave me?

Will they hurt me?

Will I get fired?

Well,

You know,

And a thousand other things that,

You know,

As we talk about in Kabbalah,

That opponent voice that is constantly presenting us with lies,

All this fake news about ourselves and lies.

This is what's going to happen.

Don't say anything.

Hold it in.

Gain another 10 pounds.

Let's eat that Haagen-Dazs in the freezer,

Whatever it is and anything to avoid the confrontation,

Which really isn't true confrontation.

It's really preparing ourselves for attack.

And then the other side of that,

If I can go on.

I'm with my popcorn here.

OK.

The other side of that is that when we have fear of confrontation,

Then because we have so much fear about feeling that we're about to be attacked,

Then we go on the defensive or the offensive,

I should say.

And we want to get in there first with the first strike.

You ever have that experience?

You want to get in there with the first strike,

You know,

Because somehow the person who complains first seems to have like the edge up on the other one.

And now the other one's in the position of being reactive to what?

Oh,

You just said that because I said this.

But that's also look within.

That's also a defense mechanism.

And really,

What are we so afraid of?

What is the core of all of this?

The core of all of this is there's a dynamic that's happening internally between my soul and that opponent voice.

And that opponent voice is doing everything it can to create more space in my life,

To separate me from my own self-love,

From my own self-confidence,

From my own self-esteem,

And therefore separating me from the important people in my life,

That feeling of isolation.

It's really one of the weapons of the opponent.

And we see it playing out today in our culture and what's going on in world events.

Everybody's got to separate.

Everybody's got to be far apart.

Don't go near each other.

I mean,

This is really,

You could see it playing out big time on a collective consciousness level.

And so what can we do about that?

Is like,

Elisheva,

You know,

As you pointed out,

Is this whole idea of inner confrontation,

Confront through to face.

But you don't have to be,

It doesn't have to be derisive.

It doesn't have to be- Well,

That's why I prefer the word communication rather than confrontation.

But confront really is the word.

Confront to face.

Front to front,

Face to face.

I think what we could do is to remove the stigma of the word confrontation.

You know,

Rather than,

Oh,

We're going to not call it,

Let's communicate.

No,

That confrontation is a form of communication.

But it's so important because it removes the space.

And that's really,

In today's world,

It's so important to remove our space from each other,

To not take sides,

To be belligerent about the other person,

Our point of view versus the other person's point of view.

The truth is,

Is that there's truth in everything.

And there's also lies in everything.

And the important thing is to find our own moral compass,

Find our own points of reference.

What can I say is true for me doesn't mean that it has to be true for you.

And it's that respect and human dignity around,

Okay,

This is my truth.

I'm sharing it with you for wherever it comes from,

Whatever,

But not making you wrong about my truth.

And at the same token,

I am not responsible for your happiness.

I am not responsible for your emotional comfortability.

That's your job.

My job is to take responsibility for my happiness and my triggers and to be clear within myself and share that with you rather than say,

And this is where this whole negative,

What's the word,

Association with the word confrontation is we usually say,

I'm confronting you,

I want you to change so I'll feel better.

Your thoughts?

You're mesmerized by what I just said.

I am.

I can see that.

Put the popcorn down.

Okay.

I have something in my teeth.

Well,

I think when you're talking and you're spot on about the negative connotation we give the word confrontation.

I called you out on that.

I confronted you on that.

Yes,

You did.

Did everybody notice that?

We witnessed the confrontation.

And it was done with love so I received it welcoming.

I'm thinking about things in my past that have happened and I'm thinking also about people that I know that have gone through difficult,

Again,

I'll use the word adversity and they look at it as they're doing something wrong.

If somebody is confronting me.

Maybe they did do something wrong by the way.

That's not what I mean.

That it's a bad sign.

That it's a punishment.

Having a face to face with somebody is a sign that I'm not okay.

That I'm not on the right path.

I did everything right and yet I'm still being punished for this.

I'm still being penalized.

Everybody is out to get me.

I'm thinking about my own self.

I had a situation many,

Many years ago where a good friend of mine,

I shared something very personal with her and she shared it with someone else who then shared it with a lot of other people.

Humiliation is not even the right word.

Forget about the humiliation.

I think that was easier to get over than the betrayal.

What did I do to deserve my friend who I thought loved me to,

It's not like another close friend that I could say okay.

It was like somebody who literally I would barely say hi to on the street who then took it to the streets.

A,

How could I have looked at it?

I'm okay with it now of course but not having the spiritual tools I have now,

It was very hard for me to get over that and to let it go.

Of course.

Two,

Is why would the universe send such a situation to someone?

I think that that's one of the questions that come up when someone is in a position where they feel betrayed,

Humiliated.

It happened to someone I know also that she was driving,

She was with her kids driving in a car.

Did I ever tell you this?

And they looked at the car next to them and it was her husband kissing another woman.

Oh my God.

So I'm saying there are in our lives we come across if not happening to us,

Happening to people we know,

Extremely horrible examples of rejection,

Betrayal and humiliation.

Let's unpack this right now.

You really just- I feel like I'm in a session now.

Okay,

Let's unpack.

First of all,

People do hurt other people.

People do things that are- Malicious.

Malicious,

Underhanded,

Whatever you want,

Backstabbing.

People do betray people.

Let's make sure that we're not saying,

Oh,

They betrayed but it's okay,

We're all spiritual and blah,

No.

I'm hurt.

I'll give you an example what happened with my daughter.

She's recovering from a surgery,

I've been taking care of her,

I was traveling,

We have guests and I asked her to do certain specific things.

And I told her more than once,

Make sure you take care of the things that I asked you to take care of.

We have guests coming,

They're going to arrive before I do.

So I'm depending on you to take care of it.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

And I was in touch with her about the whole thing.

Meanwhile,

My flight happened to come in earlier.

I got home about five minutes before our guests arrived and I saw that she didn't do what I asked her to do.

And I got really,

Really upset with her.

And one true confession.

Yes,

Yes.

I'm sorry my halo and wings are at the cleaners right now.

And so my human side is showing.

So of course,

I was really angry at her.

And I was frustrated and I felt,

I was exhausted,

By the way,

From the whole trip and traveling.

And now.

.

.

And now it's like,

No.

It's late at night.

I'm not even let down at two o'clock in the afternoon.

It's not 11 o'clock at night.

I'm exhausted.

I just want to go to bed.

They're on their way from the airport too.

They were coming from a different flight,

Whatever.

And things weren't the way she promised me they were going to be.

And worse than that is that she wasn't even home.

She had left to go out to dinner with her friends or something like that.

And so that really pressed a lot of my buttons,

Really a lot of my triggers.

And this is the basis of where confrontation can be used as a positive tool for what?

For soul correction,

Tikkun.

We call it Tikkun or karma.

Everything that happens to us is an opportunity to clean it up,

To reveal the underlying soul issues that have not necessarily anything to do with this particular lifetime.

But it's a soul contract that we came to this world and we said to the creator,

I'm going to be like,

I'm going to shine,

Emanate creator-like unconditional love in this world,

In this way.

And so in order for that to happen,

I've got to have opposite circumstances show up first to show me the duality of trust,

The duality of responsibility,

Of feeling safe,

Of being acknowledged.

And so the opposite has to happen,

Self-worth,

Self-esteem.

I hope these terms are ringing true for you.

Love,

Feeling loved,

Unconditionally loved,

Feeling safe,

Trust.

And then the opposite happens.

And when the opposite happens and we get triggered,

I have to,

My first reaction,

Quite honestly,

And let's be honest here,

I was so,

I'm sorry,

It was a good thing she wasn't home because I really,

That was,

We were beyond confrontation in that moment.

That was really going to let her have it.

But after calming down and pausing and saying,

What a pleasure,

It really works,

Even if you have to do it a few hundred times,

Pause,

What a pleasure,

Pause with a pleasure and stop and asking,

Okay,

What does this mean for me?

What am I so triggered about?

And I realized my soul correction have to do with feeling safe and loved and accepted and not being abandoned.

What's the opposite of abandonment?

Faithful,

Loyalty,

I guess.

Loyalty.

Loyalty,

Right?

These are my trigger points,

Right?

I'm a very loyal person.

And I'm a very responsible person.

So when someone I love is not,

I feel is not being loyal or responsible,

That triggers me and shows me how much more is I have to work on with,

I want to work on.

Let me rephrase that.

Not I have to,

But I want to work on,

I want to reveal that in myself,

That this is a fantastic lesson for me to realize,

Wait a minute,

This is between me and the creator.

It's not even between me and this other person.

And I'm being shown that in spite of all of these events,

I am loved.

I am okay.

I am safe.

I am happy.

I am never alone.

The creator's always with me.

I am supported.

Exactly.

In spite of this.

So,

And then I had to,

Then we came to the point where I had this conversation,

My confrontation with my daughter.

And then I was able to say to her,

This is what I expected.

This is how it made me feel.

We had an agreement.

You broke that agreement.

And then she tried to slide out of it with a lot of other excuses,

Which I wouldn't let her do.

But here's where you could learn from this.

I didn't make,

I didn't attack her self-esteem.

I didn't attack her as a person.

This unfortunately happens when we talk about confrontation.

It turns into an attack.

I didn't call her names.

I didn't lash out.

I was actually sharing my pain with her of how I got triggered.

And it was also a learning experience for her.

She's not responsible for my pain.

However,

Her lesson is about being more responsible and being more sensitive to her commitments to the people that she loves or in general to take her commitments more seriously.

So we could turn,

And we did turn that confrontation into a positive experience because there are lessons to learn.

The guy who cheated on his wife,

I mean,

He's got a few lessons to learn for whatever pain or he didn't feel,

Let's say,

I'm going to make up a story right now.

Let's say his wife was so busy with the kids and with her work and with her profession and with everything else.

He didn't feel like he was getting the energy from her that he wanted,

He needed,

And he didn't feel or he didn't have the tools to say,

Hey,

I'm feeling neglected.

I need your love.

I need your attention.

I need you to believe in me.

Instead,

He took the easy way out and found a woman who temporarily at least or initially would give him the things that he felt justified.

He needed it so badly.

But that's his story,

That he's responsible for that,

And he still cheated on his wife,

And that's not okay.

That's still breaking an oath.

That's still a betrayal.

I hope we're making it clear for the listeners here that it's really important to,

Before you do confront someone,

Is that you get really clear inside in you.

What does it mean for me?

What's the lesson for me?

Pause,

What a pleasure.

Okay,

What is the universe showing me right now?

What is it,

A lesson for me?

How can I benefit from this?

What is it meant to teach me about me,

And then asking the creator for the strength to be sharing?

Now,

When we say be sharing,

I notice a lot of people will immediately means like,

Go and throw out the garbage for that person,

Or do some sort of active check.

I actually had a conversation with someone about sharing,

And she thought it meant like sharing about her day.

Yeah.

Sharing advice.

Here's where I want to really clarify this,

Of those of you who follow,

You've been taking the Kabbalah classes,

And we talk about the proactive method,

And the last step is to act like the creator,

To share.

The number one way we can share is to take responsibility.

My action of sharing is to take responsibility,

I'm not laying it at someone else's doorstep.

That I am 100% accountable for whatever happens in my world,

Because it's there to teach me.

This universe is based on love.

You remember that you've got a team of angels,

They're around you all the time,

They're loving on you all the time,

They're loving on me and Ellie Shaddell,

All the time,

Even as you listen to this right now.

That you are loved,

And you are supported,

And it's about removing,

Or what I like to call,

Getting off the channel of radio chaos,

And getting on the channel of radio light,

And looking for what is the benefit here?

How can I evolve from this?

What can I do to learn from this,

And take responsibility?

That other person,

They gotta pay for what they gotta pay for,

And I have to pay for what I have to pay for,

And let's not confuse the two.

That's exactly,

You couldn't have said better what I was thinking about 10 minutes ago,

Which was that perception that I had when my friend betrayed me was that I was a victim.

Right,

Victim.

That's one of the things that I think prevents us from extracting the lesson,

And extracting the growth,

Is when we feel victimized.

We get so much support for being victims,

Don't we?

This is a culture we're living in today that actually celebrates- Reality TV is all about who's the victim.

Yeah,

Victimhood.

That's another,

Again,

Confusion about confrontation.

Oh,

Well,

I hurt you.

How you hurt me is even more than I hurt you.

Now it's a contest of who could be the bigger victim.

Competition,

Exactly.

Yeah,

Competition,

Exactly.

That's one of the most beautiful teachings I've come across in the recent past,

Is the idea that we teach,

And if you've been listening for any period of time,

You know that the creator,

According to Kabbalah,

Is an endless force of giving and sharing.

Anything you come across in the Bible that is opposite to that is a code.

It's a secret.

It's a wisdom,

And there's something to be unpacked there that is not for this episode,

But God doesn't know how to be angry.

Everything about the creator,

And therefore the universe,

Is positive.

The only thing that's negative is our selfish nature.

When we are hurt,

This is a teaching from Rav Aschlag,

You can say,

Well,

Bad things happen to people.

It's so hard to be in these two places,

But on one hand,

It's in my movie so that I can grow and change and achieve my highest self.

That's the creator's point of view.

The human point of view is if I am hurt,

It's not on the creator,

It's a human thing.

The universe is not,

I'll say it succinctly,

The universe cannot hurt people.

I'm sharing that simply because when I felt that she did this to me,

I kind of looked up and said,

What did I do?

Why am I suffering like this?

Why are you letting me suffer like this?

Not connecting the fact that I'm creating the suffering.

Yes,

She may have made a mistake.

She may have made a bad judgment call that the dominoes that fell,

One of those dominoes is I was hurt.

I felt betrayed.

I felt humiliated.

That doesn't excuse her behavior.

Me making it a stepping stone to my next level doesn't excuse her behavior.

I hope that that's clear.

We're not,

What's the word,

Exonerating the betrayers and the sneaks and the cheats and all the other people that do not nice things.

The teaching from Rav Aschag is between us and the creator,

Nothing is personal.

That's so true.

That's really the paradigm shift we want to create today.

If you're looking at a difficult situation,

A challenge,

Something you're dreading,

And that's where the confrontation piece comes in,

And you're thinking to yourself,

I'm such a good person,

Why is this happening to me?

It's not between you and the creator.

It's between us and the other person to resolve,

But we cannot approach the resolution with the other person until we've resolved it within ourselves.

Batu,

Your example,

I couldn't have scripted a better one.

Thank you so much for letting it all hang out with us on the Weekly Energy Burst.

Always.

I always let it hang out.

I better gather it back in and.

.

.

Tuck it in and you got to go home soon.

I have to tell you something though.

Please.

We're wrapping in such a pretty package,

And it's not pretty.

Let's face it.

People are out there.

I've gotten into confrontations which were not pretty.

I used to work with these two horrible human beings who,

I would call them social spiritual predators personally.

One of them,

They had a habit.

Be careful of this.

I think it goes hand in hand with confrontation because when a person is afraid of confrontation,

And why are we afraid of confrontation?

Well,

We don't know who we are.

We really don't.

We're not in touch with our own power.

A social predator or spiritual predator smells these people out,

And they're the people that are so easy to violate boundaries with.

I had this thing with it.

We started working- See you last week's episode if you're interested in that.

That's exactly what we spoke about.

It's perfect.

It's perfect.

It's perfect.

He had this habit of no matter what I was doing,

I was on the phone.

He would just walk into my office and start talking to me like I was there to serve him and no one else.

I was on the phone,

And he just started talking at me as if I was clearly waiting for his next command.

I got off the phone.

I went into his office.

I said,

Please don't ever do that to me again.

I'm on the phone.

Please wait.

Have some respect.

He lashed into me.

Here's your wildest fears coming to light.

I just want you to know.

He lashed into me,

And he started yelling at me about how important he was or how unimportant I was.

I don't know exactly what he was saying.

It became a character attack.

It wasn't execute my wishes.

You have to be careful.

This is not confrontation.

It may start to look like a confrontation.

Confront face to face.

Let's get on the same page.

That's what confrontation is about.

Let's you and I get on the same page here.

That now evolved out of confrontation into a power struggle,

Into an attack on my character,

On whatever he was throwing at me.

The truth is I didn't care what he was throwing at me because after he finished his tirade,

I said,

Here's my boundary here.

Knock before you come into my office.

I don't give a schnitzel for what your reasons are.

This is my boundary.

Actually after that,

He never did that again.

Even though he was screaming,

Carrying on,

Had a tantrum,

Whatever.

Again I'm telling you this because don't be under the impression,

Oh,

Well if I look within and I pray to God,

They'll magically,

Yeah,

That's true.

They may magically suddenly realize,

Wow,

That creates a space energetically because we're all connected energetically.

For them to take responsibility,

That's great.

That doesn't always happen that way.

Let's say it doesn't happen that way.

Let's say your worst nightmare comes true like what happened here with this person.

When that happened,

And here's what I want to share with you and I want to gift this to you today,

When that happened,

I checked within myself.

I checked within me.

I'm okay.

I'm holding the line here.

No matter what he's saying,

Whatever he's doing,

I'm holding the line that it was wrong.

He should have not violated that boundary.

If you can,

Find it.

If you deal with people like that and they want to.

.

.

They know they're wrong.

They know they lost that point,

That perspective,

But it's more about energy sucking and energy devouring than it is about confrontation,

Which is to remove space and be on the same page.

They just want to dominate,

Let's say.

When you know who you are and you stick to that and you keep repeating that,

And this is not okay with me,

It doesn't matter right or wrong,

It's not okay with me and that validates it right there.

It's not okay with me,

Whatever you do.

It's what confidence is.

Confidence is not,

I know I'm the best.

Confidence is,

I know who I am.

Even if we don't know who we are and who does know who we really are,

We have no idea who we really are.

We're so powerful.

We have no idea.

We think so limited.

We live so limited compared to who we really are.

Take a baby step and if you're in a confrontation,

At least know right there,

This is a boundary.

I'm worth it.

Don't cross my boundary.

Even though you may be attacking my character or whatever,

Not okay with that.

I will not retaliate and sink down to that level.

Just toe the line there.

I just wanted to,

For those people who feel like are living in those kinds of situations,

And there are.

At work,

You might have an abusive boss or an abusive employee or coworker or whatever,

Or you're in your social circles.

There's that person who likes to throw other people under the bus and embarrass people.

Everyone's afraid to call them out on it.

Everyone's afraid to call them out on it.

When you get to that point,

What's the good thing about doing this?

Not only are you building your own self-esteem,

But you're actually helping the other person.

They don't really want to be that way,

But nobody puts them in their place.

The fact that you would not attack them,

But simply state your boundaries,

Your state of being without taking responsibility for their happiness or anything on their part,

But just to simply be there to be,

That actually helps the other party as well.

It really does.

It provides a mirror that they get to see themselves for who they are being in that moment.

I think that's worth mentioning.

Any bits of advice for everybody how to take advantage of the energy this week?

30 seconds to do it.

Yes.

This is what happens also when people are on opposite sides of the energetic spectrum,

Let's say.

This week,

If you want to feel the love and the abundance of the creator,

The way to remove the space is to be abundant and loving to others.

Be that abundant,

Loving person that you want other people to be.

When you're the cause,

You're the winner.

Just keep being the cause for other people's happiness and you will be the winner.

Thank you,

Batia.

My pleasure.

Always a pleasure to be here.

Always so good to have you on the show.

I get to learn.

That's the difference.

I don't have to work as hard when you're here.

It's good for me and it's always so well timed.

As always,

We want to invite you to follow us on social media,

On Weekly Energy Boost,

YouTube,

Facebook,

Instagram.

So we want to invite you to look at our website,

Weeklyenergyboost.

Com.

Every month we have a different offer for our listeners and this month we are,

I guess,

In a way,

As a holiday gifting idea,

You all can get the red string,

The famous Cabala red string for a special listener discount at weeklyenergyboost.

Com.

And we also want to invite you to continue to like,

Share,

Rate,

Review,

Comment,

Send us your questions and comments to energyboostatcabala.

Com.

Thank you again,

Batia.

And I'll give a shameless plug for myself.

Please,

Go for it.

If you like my teachings,

You can watch me every week on cabala.

Com in the Prosperity Principles series.

And it's also,

If you watch it live,

When you watch it live,

We follow it with a live Q&A.

So I love interacting with you.

What time and day is it live?

It's 11 a.

M.

Pacific time and you can figure that out for the rest of the world.

Every Wednesday 11 a.

M.

For the month of December.

In January we're going to change the time,

I believe,

To 7 p.

M.

Eastern time,

4 p.

M.

Pacific time.

On Wednesdays still?

Still on Wednesdays.

Wednesday is Prosperity Day.

Just remember that.

Have a fabulous week and we'll see you next time on the Weekly Energy Boost.

Bye.

Reviews

Sooooo good, as always! Worth a listen, or 2 or 3! Deep bows. 🙏💫