Shifting Our Perspective - Weekly Energy Boost

Sometimes circumstances beyond our control appear to take our lives off course. We often label these experiences as “bad.” In this episode we talk about the Kabbalistic perspective on “good” vs. “bad” and “right” vs. “wrong” and how shifting how we observe our experiences can help us quickly recover from “bad” situations and effectively support others in creating a new outlook. Episode 3 of 4. Original airdate: 3/1/21

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Elisheva,

And I'm here this morning with David.

And we are excited to share with you the keys,

The secrets,

The truths,

And the techniques to shifting your perspective.

I wrote on social media,

Change your mind,

Change your life.

And I don't know where I heard it and how many times I've used it,

But that's really the bottom line.

Not only,

You can stop listening now,

Not only for today's show,

But it's a lot,

It's very simply put,

It's very difficult not only to achieve,

But to maintain.

So we're going to talk a little bit about that this morning.

The reason we are talking about it this morning is because this week,

According to the Kabbalistic calendar,

Is a week in which we are going to be challenged to detach or disengage from the external chatter,

The distractions,

The universe.

And when I say challenge,

What I mean is that the goal is that we will,

In a way,

Seclude ourselves and focus on what's really important to us internally on a personal basis.

Unfortunately,

The challenge will be that everything externally is going to demand our energy,

Demand our attention,

Demand our obsession,

More or less.

And we're here this morning to share with you what Kabbalah teaches around disengaging from that so that we can stay on our true path.

I think that that's one of the things that we end up working with individuals on so much of the time is we have a goal,

We start working towards the goal,

And then things take us off course and we get distracted or we miss the point.

And every week on the Weekly Energy Boost,

We make the effort to share with you the wisdom and the tools to help you navigate the coming seven days,

Which inevitably gives you also tools and wisdom to navigate our entire lives.

So we're starting with this idea of having those or being able to look at our lives this week and recognize,

Well,

Wait a second,

I'm so busy looking,

Trying to look good.

I'm not actually taking care of myself or being healthy.

It's external.

Or I'm so busy,

I don't know,

Taking care of someone in my family that I'm neglecting all the other areas of my life.

And by neglecting all the other areas of my life,

I'm creating greater chaos for myself on down the line.

So we want to begin today's conversation around on a very basic level.

And then of course,

We'll take it deeper into the more,

As David says,

The sexy secrets that Kabbalah has to share about this idea.

But the starting point is to look at our lives and look at which,

It sounds kind of funny to say it on our show,

But which idols are you worshiping?

Are you worshiping the idol of money?

Are you worshiping the idol of social status?

Are you worshiping the idol of,

I don't know,

Being a size zero and really compromising not only your happiness,

But your wellbeing and all the other areas of your life because you're so focused on the energy coming from this or that source.

Probably one of the ways that we're going to approach,

Sorry,

One of the ways we're going to approach today's session lesson is around consciousness and how consciousness determines the way your life works.

One of the ways that we'll approach today's topic is to remind all of us how important our consciousness is.

Because as we define it in Kabbalah are the thoughts,

Words,

And actions,

The energy behind the thoughts,

Words,

And actions that we put out into the world.

So how,

And it always starts with the mind,

Starts with actually the desire of the person.

So the desire of the person leads to attracting certain thoughts,

Which leads to what you'll say or not say,

And then ultimately it will lead to the actions that you find yourself compelled to do.

So a lot of times when you think,

Well,

Why did I say that?

Or why are these thoughts coming to me?

Or why did I just do that?

And why did I eat that?

Why do I feel I crave certain things?

It's because it all starts from the desire of the person.

And a lot of times we're not aware that our desire,

What our desires are.

And a person may say,

My desire for something is X,

And I'll pick an area.

I want to,

I was speaking to somebody recently,

I want to have,

I want to be in a career where I am the decision maker,

I'm the entrepreneur.

I don't want to have to be in a bureaucratic system.

I'm sure a lot of people can relate.

There's a lot of red tape in what this person does.

That's what they say they want.

However,

There's another part of them that wants stability.

They like the paycheck.

They don't want overhead.

They don't want to have to deal with the staff.

They're not saying that part.

And as a result,

Because deep down inside the desire for stability and comfort and predictability is actually greater than their desire to be an entrepreneur and not have bureaucracy.

So their thoughts,

Their words and their actions are actually following that hidden desire.

And this is how important consciousness is.

And consciousness starts at desire.

If you want to know what you want,

The best way to identify that is to look at the life you have now.

And you will see that this in some shape or form is deep down inside what you want.

And you may disagree with that right away.

But what are you disagreeing with?

What you put out there is the vessel of what is attracted from the universe.

David brings up an important point and something that we've touched upon in other episodes,

That idea that we say we want something or we're acting like we want something or we're even working towards something.

But deep down inside,

We have a conflicting desire.

That the example we often give,

And I know that not everybody is saying they want to become an entrepreneur.

The example we often give is that a person says they want to be in a relationship.

But deep down inside,

They like the comfort of being alone,

Not being accountable to anybody,

Not having anybody see their garbage and hold them accountable to the growth and spiritual change that maybe there's a part of them that wants.

But more of them doesn't want it,

So they resist bringing their soulmate or a partner into their lives.

Part of the work,

I think,

I don't know,

99%,

But a big part of the work of being on a spiritual path is observation.

And that's one of the reasons that if you look into almost any spiritual path,

There's meditation,

Right?

What happens when you meditate?

You close your eyes and you ideally,

Either you're listening to music or guided meditation or nothing or nature so that you can focus on the true voice,

The messages that are coming from your soul,

Which according to Kabbalah,

At least,

Is a spark of the divine,

A spark of the light force of the creator.

And it's important to close ourselves off in a way so that we can be in that state of observation and be real and be honest.

To me,

That's one of the most difficult parts of this journey is to be real with yourself,

To peel away the external,

Yes,

I want this and I want that and I want the other thing,

But deep down inside,

What I really want is actually driving the plot of the movie of my life.

And if I actually say this to my kids often,

If you are doing something that you don't want anyone to know about,

Or you're hiding something from people,

Two possible reasons.

One,

You shouldn't be doing it or two,

You need to accept who you are.

If you're hiding something about yourself,

You're the one who's not accepting of it.

You're the one who's not embracing of it.

And I'm not talking about the obvious,

I don't know,

Someone is hiding an addiction or something like that.

I mean the kid who takes the last cookie and puts the empty package back so that nobody knows they took the last cookie.

Either you shouldn't be taking the cookie or you should take the cookie in broad daylight and say,

Mom,

I just took the last cookie,

But there's some.

.

.

We gave it a name before,

Something dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance.

There is some inner conflict that's not allowing us either to express our true essence or to transform.

So really what I'm saying when I say that,

If you're hiding what you're doing,

Either you need to stop doing it or you need to do it in broad daylight and love the part of you that's doing it,

Both are correct.

That there is that part of us that we know better.

That's the spark of the light force of the creator.

So when we teach this concept to kids,

We have.

.

.

Actually,

This is kind of dating myself,

But we have these.

.

.

I used to have these two boom boxes in the classroom.

We're talking late 90s,

Early 2000s that I used to teach kids.

And we had two boom boxes and the kids would come in from recess or in the morning or whatever into the classroom and they would hear this loud music and a voice.

I had a kid do a voiceover saying like,

Don't eat your vegetables.

Don't brush your teeth.

Run into the street.

All these eight-year-old negative behaviors.

And then in the other boom box,

There was this beautiful classical music with,

Listen to your teachers.

A very pleasant voice,

Eat all your vegetables,

Brush and floss twice daily,

Whatever.

And so the kids would come in and they couldn't hear the quiet voice that was the voice of their soul guiding them,

Quote unquote,

In the right way.

All they could hear was that external chatter.

And that eventually somebody would go to shut the loud boom box off and suddenly you'd hear this voice that was there all along.

But because of the chatter and the shoulds and the expectations and the social pressure and all the other things that they were hearing,

That louder sound,

They couldn't hear the true calling of their voice.

And that metaphor doesn't,

Just because we don't really use boom boxes anymore,

That metaphor doesn't lose its poignancy.

It really is the truth.

If we can block out that,

How I was raised,

What society expects of me,

What's comfortable for me right now,

We will be able to tap into that source,

That power,

That wisdom that's always there.

It's not,

Cabela doesn't teach that you need to do X,

Y,

And Z so that you can have access to that voice.

You have access to that voice and it's simply about tuning into it the same way on your car radio,

You need to tune into the station you want to listen to.

You need to tune into the station of your soul.

Somebody wrote,

Doing what I seem to think is the right thing and then I get backlash.

Doing the wrong thing and I also get backlash.

Now I'm just not doing anything at all.

So what does this mean?

Usually when we attempt to move forward in some area of our lives,

We have some kind of positive intention.

We want to share with somebody.

We want to help.

We want to progress.

We want to make a difference.

However,

There's always a part of us,

This is just the way we are,

That is doing it for approval or doing it to fill some void inside of us.

Now is it possible to remove this before I move forward in life?

And the answer is no because it is part of our DNA that we want people to like us.

We want energy and we have lack and as a result of our lack is why our soul came down to this world to transform it.

The way that the creator supports us and helps us is every time we do something positive,

It is followed up by a rejection.

The point of the rejection is to cleanse that 30% of us that is doing it for approval while upholding maybe the 70% of us that is doing it for the right intention.

Remember everything that we do is a mix of a good intention and a bad intention,

Whether we realize it or not.

And the rejection and the pushback from the universe and the confusion that hits all of us when we try to do something positive is a result of cleansing the part of us that is not with affinity with the light of the creator,

The cleansing the lack.

So if I'm aiming to help or to share or I'm in a relationship where I'm trying to care about the other person and genuinely that's what I want and then they react poorly to it or badly,

My job is to then self reflect and say what part of me is looking to take energy from this person?

And this is why I'm getting this rejection.

And then to say now I'm still going to give.

Again that's a give.

Give means a lot of different things but I'm still going to be a shining light,

Maybe in a different way,

But I'm going to do it now knowing I'm not going to get any approval and I don't even want approval.

And this brings me to my point of what perspective or desire we should have.

Kabbalists say,

And this is really hard,

This is actually really hard,

But if you reach this level you're untouchable and this is it.

This is like when you're tasting heaven on earth.

Kabbalists say you should reach a place where your desire in life is to be in a state where you have faith and certainty above your reason and your logic and that that's what gets you excited.

We get excited when we know what we're going to get from something,

When we know what the result can potentially be and how we're going to get pleasure.

Where we become deflated or sad or angry or we start to curse the universe is where we don't see where the pleasure is coming from.

That's the hardest part for all of us.

The Kabbalists say if you could shift that where the only thing you're excited about is faith and certainty beyond logic and in fact when things are making sense and it's all clear to you,

That is not what you're looking for.

Not that it won't come,

It will still come,

But it's not your goal.

Then you have reached this level of immortality.

Nothing can affect you.

You'll never be in a negative state and not only that you'll taste and see how great the Creator is.

That's what the Kabbalists say.

So Rav Asher,

The founder of the Kabbalah Center,

Said that he reached this level when he was 24 years old.

They say when he reached 24 years old.

Just like you.

I think I hit it around 25 or 26,

But thank you for the compliment.

He said he reached this level and they're not going to go into what does that level mean and how to do it.

That's a whole separate time that we can talk about.

One of the things that he realized at the age of 24,

He was working on himself since he was like five years old.

He said that the most exciting moments of his life was when nothing made sense and he had no clue where his fulfillment would come from.

He said that actually brought him euphoria.

When everything made sense and it was clear and it was beautiful and there was so much synchronicity,

He said that was nice,

But he knew that's not the purpose.

That's not the point of heaven.

And the point of heaven is to be clinging to faith and certainty beyond logic.

It's a very high level of consciousness.

I know some people are like,

What are you talking about?

But for those who it does resonate with,

You feel what we're saying here.

I want to apply what you were saying just now to a question that we have here.

How do we appreciate our pain,

Slash,

Emotions,

Slash disappointments instead of trying to make them go away?

I think this solves it.

Let's say I have a goal.

I don't know.

Whatever your goal is.

Let's say your goal is trying to grow something,

Grow a relationship,

Grow a business.

And then something happened that's counter to that.

It looks like you're going backwards.

The first feeling we have is we're frustrated because it's messed up.

This is not what I planned.

This is not what I set out to do and it's going in a different direction.

We have to get to a place where we realize going in a different direction means going in the.

.

.

It's actually you're getting closer to your goal,

But it looks like you're going away from your goal.

So it looks like right now your relationship is in a bad place.

It's actually in the best place it's ever been.

It looks like your business is in a bad place.

It's actually closer to where you want it to be,

But it doesn't look that way.

As soon as you get excited about that,

Physically in this world,

It will also look that way.

You'll be shown that it was like that the whole time.

You're just being shown this mirage,

This illusion,

This hallucination that you're having.

This is a very deep concept,

But this is what Kabbalah explains.

To get excited about when it doesn't make sense is how everything will begin to make sense.

But if you're the person that's always chasing,

What's the answer?

What's the answer?

What's the solution?

How do I fix my problem?

How do I feel comfortable?

Then it's going to always allude you.

You're always going to be in darkness and confusion.

Whatever you're chasing,

It's going to run away from you.

Let's phrase that more simply,

That one of the best signs you can look for,

You can find is things not going your way.

That whole control,

And to me,

Control is one of the greatest idols we worship is I seek to be in control,

I seek to exert my control on others,

I micromanage people,

I over explain.

By the way,

That even happens to people.

I mentioned,

You used the example before of people who want to look good.

That's a control issue too.

They want to control how other people receive them,

Perceive them,

Think about them,

Talk about them,

Et cetera.

When things are out of your control,

And I actually think,

I don't remember if it was last week or the week before,

But we talked about the magic of what you don't know.

The things that you don't know,

This is another way David is explaining maybe the ancient,

Not ancient,

But the more esoteric explanation,

The fact that you are in a place where you don't know what's going on or you don't know how it's going to end,

That's the place you want to be,

Not sitting in fear or worry or panic,

But sitting in the place where you know the light,

The creator has a much better plan than you could ever put together.

But the person is saying,

Well,

So when can I actually have pleasure?

Because people still think,

And we all think this way,

That when I get something,

That's more pleasurable than when I'm striving to get it or when I'm in that place where I don't have it yet.

This is how we're all built.

I need to drink this water to taste it.

I need to have this coffee to enjoy it.

Can I enjoy coffee without drinking it?

And the Kabbalists used the terminology that when you're working for something,

But you haven't received it yet,

You're revealing one type of light.

This light is called the light of chesed.

It's a light that comes from you and it's being revealed.

And when you get what you want,

You're revealing a different kind of light.

That light actually tastes a little sweeter,

But it comes with a lot of problems.

That's called the light of wisdom.

So the light of mercy is the light that you reveal through your actions.

So whenever you have certainty,

You're pushing yourself and you don't see the result yet,

But you're forcing yourself to get excited.

You're actually revealing a type of light.

That's called the light of mercy.

It's a lower level light.

However,

It's a more stable light and it's the light that will stay with you forever.

We're looking for the light of wisdom.

That is,

Oh,

What are you going to give to me?

Give me a compliment.

Give me this rush.

Give me this bonus.

Give me this.

I want this solution,

Solution.

That's the light of wisdom.

And it says that every time you receive that light,

You taste it and then it leaves you.

How do we know?

Think about all the people craving to get married or craving to achieve something.

But as soon as they achieve it,

It feels good for a moment and then it leaves them.

However,

If you look back in your life,

The most exciting,

Enjoyable time in your life when you were building towards it,

When you were fighting through everything and you were growing,

You were pushing,

That actually was when you were enjoying it more.

I'm watching the Tiger Woods documentary.

Phenomenal.

And it goes through his life about what it was like as he was becoming the,

If not the greatest in golf.

And then what happened as soon as he tapped into it.

As soon as he achieved it is when the beginning of all the problems came about.

Because when you receive the light of wisdom,

In Kabbalah it's called a sibzum.

There's a curtain that comes down as soon as you receive exactly what you want.

What do you do when you get it?

This is deeper Kabbalah.

We talk about it.

But getting excited about the process and having certainty in the process is our spiritual work,

Not necessarily getting that pleasure that we're all striving for.

You left me speechless there.

This is one of those lessons that confuses people more than it.

What people are hearing right now is,

I feel what you're saying,

But I'm more confused than when I started.

Is this accurate?

Would you say,

I don't know,

I'm curious of what our audience is thinking.

Maybe you can write what you're feeling.

But sometimes we want to bring the wisdom in its raw form because this is ultimately what's going to grow us and help us get to the higher levels of consciousness.

It's not just to throw popcorn wisdom out there,

Which is,

Oh,

You're having a tough line?

Don't worry,

It's going to be fine.

Oh,

Thank God.

The other Shabbat's home,

It's going to be fine.

All right,

I'm going to go back to my work.

It's kind of like giving them a little bit more deeper tools to be able to handle life.

One of the questions I see here is about attachment to food.

How do we let go of that external attachment?

Now,

David and I are,

Obviously we bring food examples into every episode.

So we're big fans of the food.

But what I find with people who have a special attachment to food,

Meaning it's a source of comfort,

It's a source of escape,

It's an area in life where they cannot gain control.

Oftentimes it has to do with exactly that,

The comfort,

The idea that in every other area of life,

It's very hard to feel in control and safe.

And the word comfortable,

I don't mean comfortable meaning sitting on your couch comfortable.

I mean being in your comfort zone.

All day long,

Imagine a lot of people who are listening and going,

Yeah,

That's me.

You wake up in the morning and you are nonstop until you get home at night and then you get home at night and you just want to raise the fridge and be left alone.

So there's this feeling during the day of I have to work my butt off,

Justify my existence,

Add value at work,

Show up the right way.

Everybody's asking me to show up.

I don't have a second for myself.

And then the moment I can,

I want to curl up with my blankie essentially and give myself something and it ends up being something in an extreme expression.

It's not a balanced,

Nobody says,

I can't wait to devour a salad when I get home or there's a bag of broccoli with my name on it,

Right?

We say there's a pint of ice cream with my name on it or a pizza or a milkshake or whatever else it is.

So the idea,

It's not,

I've never seen anybody successfully say,

I'm just not going to eat food or I'm just,

I'm not going to buy ice cream because it finds its way to your plate,

Whether you're implementing those restrictions or not.

The starting point for that,

Which again is about shifting your perspective,

Shifting your consciousness,

As we said in the beginning of the show,

Finding that love,

That safety,

Creating it without the food.

So for some students of mine,

I've recommended meditations around self-love,

Work around self-love,

Making sure that there is something that you do for yourself in the middle of the day so that you're not exploding,

Right?

The perception,

And again,

I think this is a societal thing,

That it's selfish to do things for yourself.

We now have this thing called self-care that we talk about doing in life,

But there's some strange correlation between the spa and self-care or a manicure and self-care.

Self-care can just be taking a half hour at lunch and going and sitting outside and enjoying what's going on there or listening to your favorite podcast or doing something,

Committing to do something for yourself and sticking to that commitment.

Because what ends up happening is you say,

You know what,

I'm going to go for lunch.

I'm going to sit in the park and I'm going to eat my sandwich in the park and enjoy nature and whatever.

And then things get crazy at work and you put yourself aside again and the cycle repeats itself.

Sticking to your acts of love for yourself is really the key to interrupting any self-harming behavior.

And I use self-harm because overeating or unregulated eating,

Eating the things we know we shouldn't or too much of the things we know we shouldn't is a sign that we're not caring for ourselves the other 23 hours of the day.

I'll say something about that.

That in life,

It's about moving two steps forward and letting go of one step.

We want the full three steps forward.

And to relate it to food,

Maybe this will stay in people's mind,

After let's say a long day,

I personally like to indulge in a nice meal.

And we're talking like 9 p.

M.

The day is ending around 9 p.

M.

That's when we're around the time we have dinner.

And I'm looking at,

Sorry,

I remember this last night.

I'm looking at this food that actually my mom made and she dropped it off.

So I'm looking at it and I'm like,

Oh gosh,

I want three portions of this.

I know three portions.

So relatable,

David.

You know what I'm saying?

Three portions of this food right here,

I'm going to really enjoy it.

So then I tell myself,

All right,

I'm going to have two portions.

So what about that other third?

There's a third of my stomach is actually going to be in lack because the stomach can fit three portions.

And I'm sure you all can relate to this.

But I'm deciding to take two and let go one.

And what happens is what about that other one?

It seems cool to do that to my stomach.

And your taste buds for that matter.

For everything.

It's like denying God's glory.

David,

I want to just throw this out there.

We're not advocating repression or suppression.

That's not what David is talking about.

That's not what I was talking about either.

If you want to have the ice cream,

Have the ice cream in broad daylight and love every moment of it instead of waiting to get home when nobody's watching and sneaking it in.

And this can be related all across the board.

We all know when we drink.

I think I've talked about this.

There's the drink we drink because we want to feel good.

We want to feel relaxed.

We want to be with our friends.

And then there's the drink that we drink too much.

There's a part of me that says I can handle one more drink,

But that's the drink that puts your face in the toilet bowl.

But you don't know it at the moment.

That's the secret.

What do you do with this other third of your stomach that wants the food and you're not giving it to it?

We're not suppressing here.

What we're saying is this third is certainty beyond logic.

Basically what I'm saying to myself is I know you want.

I will give you.

I'm not going to give you now because I know that the other two thirds is going to satisfy the third.

The third.

Empty third.

The empty third.

Now that's the secret of it.

How do we know this?

When you wake up in the morning,

Ever wake up in the morning with the food in your mouth practically because your body couldn't digest it because you were over eight before bed?

That's the whole secret.

It's always about letting go and then there's this desire that stays.

What you do to that desire is you say I'm putting the certainty beyond logic on you.

Everything's going to be okay.

That's what you say to the one third that's not fulfilled.

Because the one third says look,

Just give me that sandwich.

It's right there.

You already took two of me.

You already took two sandwiches.

Give me one more.

We'll be fine.

I won't bother you anymore.

You say no.

You one third.

I've given the body exactly what it needs but for you this portion I give to the.

.

.

It's like a sacrifice.

It's like you give it to the creator.

You say the creator will have this one third.

What happens actually an hour later is you're fine.

You realize you didn't even need that one third.

You're glad you didn't have it.

You're very glad you didn't have it.

Now why are you glad?

Why isn't your body still saying no,

You should have had it?

Because something happens.

Something happens to your vessel where the light is not leaving.

You're not overdoing it.

That's the simplest way of putting it.

You always have to let go of something at the end.

Now if you don't let it go,

It will be rejected from you.

If you're looking for someone's approval and you're not willing to let it go,

Eventually what will happen is they'll let it go.

They'll make sure not to give it to you.

That's what we call rejection or abuse or failure.

Abuse is the most severe form of it obviously.

That's when it spiraled out of control.

So the secret here is that you have to let go.

There's this moment where you know you have to let go.

And if you don't,

All that's going to happen is it's going to be taken away from you anyways.

And part of spirituality is to each one of us to find what that point is.

And it's different for each person.

I know for me,

Take two portions,

Give away a third.

In relationships,

You may be really enamored by the person you're with and you're talking to them seven hours a day.

Maybe it needs to be three.

But I want another four hours with them.

Give it to the creator.

Certainty.

It's always how it is.

When you're getting too excited about something,

You got to let it go to the creator.

That's how you keep things going forever.

I also think that a big part of today's conversation is about,

And this relates exactly to what David was saying,

Is as you're listening to him,

You're thinking,

Well,

That would feel bad,

Right?

But I want to eat all the food.

Or I want to spend all the,

If I only spent three hours talking to this guy I'm dating and not the full seven,

That would feel bad.

And a big part of elevating our consciousness is changing how we define or label our experiences.

And this,

I think,

Goes back to the question we had before about emotions,

Disappointments,

Et cetera.

We associate sadness,

Anger,

Jealousy,

Fill in the blank of your favorite negative emotion,

As bad,

Or as we have a lot of,

You know,

We might even say it's wrong.

It's wrong to feel this way.

I'm jealous right now.

It's wrong to be jealous.

When we stop or we reduce the amount of labeling we do,

That also increases our experience of happiness,

Of joy,

Of fulfillment.

And I know it sounds funny because we're talking about negative emotions,

But the truth is a lot of the negativity around our emotions comes from the fact that we say this is bad.

The pain I feel right now,

We had a few,

An episode a few weeks ago on grief.

One of the big takeaways for me was that the observation,

Right?

A person can be hurting.

This is painful right now.

Does that mean it's bad?

No.

Does that mean it's wrong?

No.

It's still bad and wrong,

But the fact that we stay in that neutral space of observation and remain,

What happens when we start to say,

Well,

This is bad.

We're no longer experiencing it.

We've stepped out of it and we're creating another scene of suffering.

So by simply saying,

You know something,

This does not feel good.

And I am going to stay present with it because the truth is if I run away from it,

If I shove it into a carton of ice cream,

If I somehow self medicate or escape in the whatever I enjoy escaping,

It's only going to compound.

It's going to come back worse.

And so that idea of being able to sit with it,

Not run away from it,

I have to tell you,

I read- That's the equivalent of the third.

Right.

You're giving away a third of the comfort so that you sitting with something is you like letting go of the comfort for that moment.

Exactly.

And that's,

I mentioned before the word comfort.

It's not about feeling safe.

It's literally being able to tolerate the discomfort of the anger.

And I think anger is a good example because we always talk about how anger isn't good,

But you can have 90 seconds of anger and stay with it and be truly in it.

And then it can dissipate.

The problem is we get angry.

We start to tell ourselves a story about what happened and how it wasn't fair and how you have to seek revenge.

And the next time you talk,

You're going to say that.

And suddenly it's like a three day episode instead of a 92nd episode.

That's right.

So part of what we call restriction or the letting go is,

All right,

I'm angry right now.

Give it to the creator.

God,

I don't want to repeat this movie again.

Soul,

Please help me not repeat this movie again.

I'm going to breathe it.

It's almost like the food.

You want to taste every morsel of that anger and then let it digest and move on from it.

In the Bible,

It's the same way.

There's always this portion that they gave to the creator.

And in life,

It's the same thing.

When you feel very needy,

Frustrated,

In pain,

You're hurting.

That is the portion you have to give to the creator.

That's what certainty beyond logic is.

Certainty is I'm going to have certainty and I'm going to give this to the creator.

Well,

What's going to happen after that?

Well,

If you're asking that question,

You A,

Didn't don't have certainty and B,

You didn't give it to the creator.

It means you got to let it go at that moment of extreme neediness.

When you're extremely needy about something,

You got to let it go.

I have another food example.

I think these examples stay with people.

There's this chicken wings that I love.

But when you get the chicken wings or the fries,

The fries is that one third that you need to give to the creator.

So what I do,

Oh,

And then there's the Coke.

And it's the Spanish Coke.

What's this Coke?

The Spanish Coke doesn't have corn syrup in it.

Sorry,

It's Mexican Coke.

Mexican Coke.

And it's delicious.

I'm not going to be correct,

I don't know how we say it.

So there's these three levels.

So what I do is I tell myself I can only have the chicken,

The wings,

But I'm not going to have the Coke and the fries.

Do you order them and not eat them or do you just not order them?

I don't order them.

There we go.

Okay,

That's- Because if you order them and you don't eat them,

Then you're desecrating.

Well,

Then you're also desecrating the fries because you just throw it at the trash.

So that's the secret.

For me anyways,

That's the secret.

I'm sure we all can relate.

You got to take one,

Sacrifice the other.

That is what certainty beyond logic is.

I think part of the labeling experience,

One of the big lessons I got this year,

And I think it's worth sharing,

Is that,

I don't know if this ever happens to you,

But there's a lot of people ask us,

Well,

Such and such happened.

What does that mean?

When something happens- Right.

This and this happened,

What does that mean?

Is that a good sign?

Is that a bad sign?

What does it mean?

I think that also people perceive Kabbalah as this mystical,

Esoteric,

Metaphysical wisdom,

Which it is,

But there's a very limited amount of signs or synchronicities that means something definitive.

Right.

Right?

The same you could say about dream interpretation.

There is a fixed set of symbols that if you see them,

It means this and everything else is subject to the individual.

So when I say subject,

I mean subjective.

If a person,

My husband often gives the example of one of the symbols that are fixed is teeth.

Teeth have a very specific meaning.

So my husband said,

If you are a dentist or a dental hygienist,

It doesn't mean the same thing for you because it's something that is a part of your daily life so much that it no longer has that significance.

So one of the amazing things I experienced this year,

And I chalk it up to COVID,

But I know COVID is not the cause.

I'm going to blame it on the creator,

That there is so much you could look at that we experienced this year that you could say,

That was bad.

That was bad.

That was painful.

I spent X holiday with my family,

That was bad.

I know people lost jobs,

People lost lives.

We've been talking about this for the last,

Believe it or not,

12 months,

I would say already.

The gift that I got,

One of the great gifts I got this year was the knowledge that I get to decide what it means.

Think about that for a second.

You see a butterfly flying by.

What does it mean?

I would ask you the question,

What does it mean to you?

It only means something if you give it meaning,

If you ignore it.

The reason it's important is because you could have one of those things that happened that this is what it means and you miss it completely and therefore it means nothing.

You didn't see it,

You didn't experience it,

You didn't identify it.

It therefore means nothing.

As we navigate through,

What's the most hated word of 2020?

These unprecedented times.

I challenge you,

Whoever you are listening,

Wherever you are,

No matter when it is,

Whether it's March 1st for you or December 31st for that matter,

What does life mean to you?

Something happened today at work.

Somebody told you,

You did something wrong.

What does it mean to you?

It doesn't necessarily mean you did something wrong.

That we say it all the time,

But that realization,

Right?

I get to decide what meaning it has.

I get to decide if the criticism destroys me or makes me stronger.

I get to decide if the food poisoning,

You know,

That makes me feel awful or I squeeze into my skinny jeans.

I get to decide,

As a bad example,

I'm sorry.

I get to decide if what's happening in my life is destroying me or unveiling the new version of me.

And that power is something no one can give you.

Even though you may be looking to your teacher,

Your priest,

Your rabbi,

Your boss to give you the meaning,

You get to decide.

And that knowledge,

That I get to decide if this is something that makes me a better partner,

Mother,

Child,

Coworker,

Boss,

Et cetera,

Or I get to decide if it makes me a worse,

Whatever it is.

That is invaluable.

So what about the people who aren't naturally like that and they don't care what anybody thinks and they're like,

I decide,

I control,

I'm in charge.

It's what I believe is the reality.

And meanwhile,

Everyone around them is like,

Are like,

You're obnoxious.

Is like,

I'm not,

You're obnoxious.

You need to change.

You need to grow.

You're like,

No,

I know what I am.

I am who I am.

I love who I am.

You're not going to change my mind.

Elie Sheva told me it is what I want it to be.

What do you say to those people?

God bless you.

You are amazing.

You are a natural phenomenon.

What would you say to them?

What Elie Sheva is saying,

We're always saying this.

It all depends on what your natural state or what your correction is.

For the people who feel that the outside controls them and is dictating how they feel and who they are,

Your spiritual work is to take charge and to realize that you're in charge.

Your consciousness is in charge.

For those people who naturally feel their own greatness,

Who naturally feel like they control everything,

Who naturally feel like they're the sun and everyone's just a planet that's in their orbit,

Your job is to let go.

I can't even believe there are people out there like that.

I'm eating popcorn over here.

That's amazing.

The majority of people are not like us.

We're just cow-towing to everybody.

By the way,

It doesn't mean that you're this person or that person.

We are each person in different stages of our lives.

When things are going great,

We think we are great and we stop listening to everybody around us.

When everything is going poorly,

We beat ourselves up.

We think we're horrible and we start to look for everyone's approval.

Or look for the ice cream.

Or look for a way just to numb ourselves.

It's dangerous because I had some pain,

I had some physical pain and I knew I'd be up all night with it so I took a little Advil.

Just a little one.

Just a little one.

I actually took one.

It said take two and I took one.

That's giving it to the creator.

I gave the other one to the creator.

The creator took the other Advil.

The creator took the other Advil and I slept so well and I'm like,

Wow,

I see how people can get addicted to painkillers.

I'm like,

Oh,

I want to take another one tonight so I can sleep really well.

And then I saw how dangerous that is because what happens is you start to lose yourself and your body starts to atrophy its own ability to be great and you start to rely on outside things.

So if you have a relationship or a title or something,

It's very,

Very scary.

You just have to be conscious of the fact that you want to be energetically independent so that when you do get in a relationship or you have to take an Advil or you have to take a Percocet or you have to engage in something,

You don't let that thing control you.

You have to be conscious.

Otherwise you'll go down that rabbit hole and you will become reliant and then your spiritual muscles will atrophy because you're no longer using it.

You're getting this external energy.

And I know somebody wrote here about addiction.

How do you let go of addiction?

Obviously it's a longer conversation,

But it,

I don't think I can answer that.

I think it's outside the confine.

We've had episodes where we've talked about it.

I also think that at the end of the day,

The origin of addiction is not singular,

That there's many different things that could bring a person to it.

Obviously there's many things to be addicted to,

But also the causes of addiction are not singular.

So one way to look at it is that,

I'm just thinking about David's examples.

I remember hearing as a young Kabbalah student,

If you decide that you want to have a pity party,

Take a day off and watch sad movies and eat in bed all day,

That's fine.

As long as nobody puts you in that position,

As long as you're not doing it because something happened or someone said,

I actually took it as an awesome,

I'm going to schedule a quarterly sick day,

Quarterly hooky from life just to mitigate any of those feelings.

I used to just watch sad movies to release emotion,

To make sure that it doesn't build up because it's not always convenient to cry in front of a conference room of peers.

But we're talking like 20 years ago,

Maybe even close to 30 now that I'm thinking about it.

Because you can be selfish,

Be moody,

Be all the things that maybe again,

We would label negative,

Selfish,

Et cetera,

As long as you're choosing it.

Like David's saying,

I took the half dose of the Advil with consciousness.

I determined,

I commanded that I would not be taken under control by this.

If I had to give a lecture in front of 500 people and I needed Advil,

I would take the Advil because I don't want to be thinking about myself while I'm trying to be in a position of service.

But that's also a very,

You could say,

Well,

I can't serve unless I'm taking Advil.

It could get very slippery.

What we're saying here is that almost anything falls in this category,

But anything that you're going to do that has the potential to create a dependency of energy.

And somebody wrote earlier in the feed that they just started dating someone and it's really hard to let go of expectations and hopes and to start fantasizing about the future.

That's really the key to the success or to set up the relationship for success is to not take that third portion of energy from it,

To enjoy it when you're together and then to leave that other piece to the light,

To the creator,

To give it up because it's in that giving up that you ensure the best possible outcome.

Now this may not be the right person and if it's not the right person,

You certainly want to know sooner than later,

But that mindset,

That consciousness is going to bring you closer to what's best for you,

Whether it's that person or the one coming down the line.

And we are winding down next week talking about how to handle stress and pressure and difficult situations and how to prevent yourself from getting to those places in the first place,

Which I don't think we've ever talked about preventing difficult situations.

So I'm excited for that.

Anyways,

Have a fabulous week and we'll see you on the next weekly energy boost.