Settling For More - Weekly Energy Boost

More often than not, we settle for less when we could be settling for more. Kabbalah teaches that what we receive in life directly correlates to what we choose to settle for. This week, gain the insights and tools to help identify how you are settling and discover the abundant ways we can rise above. Original airdate: 12/12/22

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Elisheva,

And I'm here this lovely Monday morning with David,

And we are excited to share with you how to settle for more.

Every week on the Weekly Energy Boost,

We share with our listeners the most practical and powerful insights,

Wisdom,

And tools to help you navigate the coming seven days.

We do that by sifting through the wisdom of Kabbalah and picking out not only what is powerful and has impacted us,

But also through the work that we've done with so many people over the years.

The stories,

The anecdotes,

It all comes out so that you have invaluable life lessons and actionable items you can take into your life to use anytime.

And this week is really highlighting for us not only with the weekly energy,

But also with this month's energy.

We're in the month of Sagittarius,

And one of the signature qualities of good Sagittarians,

And no insult meant to anybody,

Is that they tend to be complacent.

They tend to take things easily.

They love a challenge.

They love to get themselves kind of launched into something and get excited about it,

And they don't necessarily have the wherewithal to stick through when it gets boring and when it gets tedious.

So part of what we want to grab for ourselves this week is the ability to keep pushing forward,

To desire more,

Not to wait for the external stimulus,

Which I think is a lot of what compels us to settle when we don't receive what we want or what we expected.

We think this is as good as it gets,

Or there's nothing left,

Or time's running out,

So we sell ourselves short,

At the same time we have the energy of the week that's telling us that we are often compelled to stop moving just before the train's about to leave the station.

The Kabbalists teach that there is this force within the universe that is there,

We call it the opponent,

That often,

Well,

At its origin is there to challenge us,

To do more,

To be better,

To strive,

To overcome.

And because we don't know that that's the purpose of that force,

We tend to listen to it.

We tend to agree with it and abide by it more often than not.

And that force will say,

It's not worth it,

You're too tired,

You've worked so hard,

How are you ever going to manifest what you want,

There's nobody else out there,

You're getting older,

Etc.

So you settle just before,

And the Kabbalists teach that the opponent is going to sit there right before the beginning of the next level of anything and convince you to stay put.

So this week we want to highlight for our listeners and for anybody you can share this idea with,

That that compulsion to settle,

To stop moving,

To set up camp where it's comfortable versus waiting for or continuing to work toward,

And that's the Sagittarian bit,

They don't necessarily want to keep working toward the goal if they're not feeling it,

If they're not getting that external reinforcement and excitement,

If the challenge wears off,

They tend to take off versus stick with it because the reward is just behind the temptation to settle.

I love that.

All right,

We have some questions that we have gotten in from some of our audience,

And I want to kind of go over them and see if we're going to hit any of them,

Which ones we should hit first.

So why do we settle?

Is this our correction?

I'm not a person who settles often or stops short.

Serial settler?

Is this a tycoon?

Is this something that my soul came to this world to transform?

What does Kabbalah say about this?

How does settling affect how we receive in life?

Good question.

What are some tools to identify the settling mentality?

Good question.

What are some tools to help us rise above settling?

And when is settling appropriate?

When is wanting more appropriate?

These are all wonderful questions.

Because if we're honest about it,

It's more a conversation about desire than it is about settling.

Right,

Right,

Right.

A couple of different ways to approach this.

I would say that,

First off,

It is good to adopt a mindset of finishing things.

And many times people are very much living their life according to what they feel and what their body is telling them or what the outside world is telling them.

And I do admit it's very confusing because how do I know when I should be listening to my feelings or what other people say?

Sometimes people are discouraging you.

Maybe you're on the wrong path.

Do I listen?

Do I or do I just be kind of internally stubborn about it and push through?

And is that settling one way or the other?

And I think it's very confusing.

This is the number one question that we get asked in our Kabbalah 1 class,

Which is,

How do I know if this is when a voice comes to me?

Is this the creator telling me to do something?

Or is this the opponent stopping me from achieving my destiny?

And I think a good spiritual rule of thumb is the only way you're going to know where the voices are coming from and what these voices even mean is if you are testing,

Succeeding,

And failing on your own.

Because in the same way your body intuitively knows how to conduct a trillion different interactions at once,

And it does it in such perfect harmony,

It doesn't do it like thinking about it.

Your body operates perfectly.

A healthy body operates perfectly.

We have this ability also to know exactly what to do,

When to do it,

And how to do it when we're plugged in to the divine of the universe,

To the light of the creator.

The light shines and guides us and shows us.

Our problem is that we want the benefit without the work.

And the work is testing and experimenting and learning about yourself,

Learning about your strengths,

Learning about your weaknesses,

Pushing yourself to the point of failure so that you can even see what your limits are.

And when you do these things,

You start to learn about yourself and you start to develop self-confidence.

You start to develop certainty.

We talk about certainty a lot.

We talked about it a couple of weeks ago.

People always ask,

Well,

How do I have more certainty?

You develop certainty in the same way when you first started to learn how to drive.

I remember driving when I was 15 or something.

It was a scary,

Just like any moment.

Like,

Okay,

How am I going to make this turn?

How am I going to change lanes on a highway when there's cars going?

You just have a thousand thoughts,

Like how do I do it?

And so you protect yourself and you become safe.

But now,

I mean,

You should see Elie Sheva.

She can drink her coffee,

Drive with her knees,

Read a book.

I see it.

I'm in the car with you.

But it's so comfortable.

It's relaxed.

It's kind of like it's almost intuitive the way we might drive 20 years later because it's experience.

We've been in accidents.

We've gotten tickets.

We've made mistakes.

And we've learned what our boundaries are and what to do.

So I think number one,

People don't know themselves enough because they're not going out there and testing and experiencing and talking to people.

Talk to people.

Talk to people who have done it before.

Talk to people who have failed.

Talk to people who have succeeded.

So even if you yourself don't have the means to test things,

There are people who have already done it.

You should be talking to them all the time.

Should be asking from them.

You should be chasing them and downloading their wisdom.

So I think that's a starting point of being able to get to a place to understand what is settling,

What is not settling.

Is this the voice of the opponent?

Is this the voice of the light?

You yourself need to go out there and have experience to be able to understand that better.

That also answers the question of is settling my tikkun,

Right?

Most of what in Kabbalah we call our correction or our tikkun is what we're here to transform.

There's very little about our tikkun that we are meant to live with as a fact.

The part of what I love about what David just shared is that part of that,

This is my tikkun acknowledgement means also,

Let's say it is,

Which it's so,

The odds are so slim,

But let's say it is something that you're here to live with.

You're not here to accept it and carry it as a grudge.

You're here to work on it.

You're here to transform it.

You're meaning the fact that it's not going away,

Quote unquote,

Isn't any measure of failure on your part.

It is something that you're meant to walk with.

It's a spiritual tool.

Focusing on that spiritual tool,

And I can give you a really personal example,

And it lends itself well to the settling conversation.

I have Libra in my chart.

Like where in your chart?

My moon is in Libra,

Which means for me,

The way I've seen it is that I can be listening to you and you're telling me about something.

And I'm like,

Yes,

Yes,

You are.

That is so true.

That is so right.

And I can move to the next conversation where that person is telling me the exact opposite.

The best example,

Like,

Oh,

Toyota is the best car.

Oh,

And I'm like,

Yes,

It is the best car.

So you're easily influenced.

It's not that I'm easily influenced.

I don't have an opinion.

I just have the opinion of whoever I'm hanging out with,

Not in a people-pleasing way.

I genuinely agree.

I can see your point.

And then I sit next to someone who says,

No,

Honda's better.

Oh,

Wow,

Really?

Sounds like Honda's better.

And what I've understood is not that one day I'm never going to feel that way,

But my work is having an opinion independent of you in the moment.

Being able to say,

You know,

To the Honda lover,

No,

That may be the case for you.

For me,

I'm a Toyota fan.

And so when it comes to,

If you're selling me something,

Which is where it comes into play for me a lot,

I get an ad which tells me I cannot live without such and such product.

And I think to myself,

That's right,

I can't live without it.

And I go down that rabbit hole of learning about it and researching it.

And to David's point,

Asking,

Does anybody I know use this product?

What's your experience with this product?

Reading the reviews.

Then my spiritual work is to take it all in and decide,

What do I feel?

What do I think?

That's an example of something I don't expect it to go away.

Because the work for me,

I reveal that light in working it through.

Not getting it over with,

I'm going to tell David he's wrong,

He has no idea about Toyota,

And then I'm going to overcome my tikkun.

So the idea of,

Is settling a tikkun?

Settling is a tikkun for everybody.

For everybody,

Because everybody does it in their own unique way.

Where you cut yourself,

You give yourself too much credit,

That's a form of settling.

Where you think you don't need to work,

You perfected that already,

It's a form of settling.

Any area in your life in which you stop making effort or you give yourself a pass,

You are settling.

If you don't want fulfillment in every area of your life,

That's okay too.

But know that the effort is where the fulfillment is,

Not in the resignation or,

I don't know,

Cancellation of plans or anything like that.

The work is in the action,

The action ability.

The reason why also people make a lot of effort in some areas,

But there's no manifestation and they stop short,

Is because something I've learned is that manifestation occurs only based on what is important to you.

I've seen this about people.

And you learn what is important to different people.

So for example,

I've learned this a lot in interviews.

I've learned them in having one-on-ones with people and learning about their lives,

But especially in interviews.

You're interviewing somebody maybe for a job or a position.

How is this person going to perform?

It doesn't matter what's on their resume.

It doesn't matter what they tell you they're going to do because they can lie.

They can easily just say what you want to hear to hire them.

Ultimately,

What kind of an employee they're going to be is dependent on what's important to them.

What's important to them.

So if growth is important to them,

They will eat,

Breathe,

Sleep.

Everything will eventually.

.

.

But you could tell them to focus on maybe profitability and they'll nod their head.

They'll say,

Okay,

Okay,

Okay.

But if they're a growth-minded person,

Ultimately anything they try to do around profitability will fail.

Now,

Can people change?

Sure,

But ultimately what you're having to do is change the belief system of people.

People have belief systems that are so strong and everything they do from the way they wake up in the morning to the thoughts they have to the books they read to the people they hang out with to the wisdom they listen to is just to feed that belief system.

It creates this echo chamber which compounds and this is the belief system.

We have this a lot.

We talk about this a lot when it comes to dating.

We talked about it again yesterday when we talked about the person who says that it's hard to just find a good man.

It always just boils down to the fact that the belief system is true joy and happiness comes from being independent and free.

This is our belief system.

So a man represents the opposite of that.

He represents compromise,

Being boxed in,

Losing freedom,

Sharing,

Splitting things in half.

So of course there's going to be a sabotage on the fifth or sixth date once things get good.

So we all will manifest what we believe in and we will settle or sabotage in every other area and maybe your parents are trying to push something on you or maybe your boss is trying to push something on you.

I don't know what the expression is but it's kind of like.

.

.

What is the expression of the cat?

Is the cat.

.

.

I don't know.

There's an expression where you can't change the animal to be.

.

.

You can't teach a dog new tricks.

No,

It's not that one.

It's like once a cat's.

.

.

I don't know,

It's a cat.

I don't know if it's a cat or a monkey or something.

There's some kind of an animal that you.

.

.

There's a spiritual story about this.

You dress it up to become like a butler.

I remember this but it still becomes.

.

.

Then it sees a rat and it drops everything.

Drops everything and it goes after the rat.

That's right.

That's what I was thinking about.

There was a cat that they dressed up to be like a human butler and said,

Look how great my cat is.

As soon as the rat came,

He dropped all the food and ran after it.

And that's how we are.

I share that so that we're honest with ourselves and we challenge ourselves and say,

What are my belief systems?

Some people have belief systems that.

.

.

I don't know.

I look at the belief system that nobody should.

.

.

Everybody should be equal.

Everybody should be equal.

Nobody should have.

.

.

I don't know.

Nobody should have more or less.

And there are people who believe this.

Whether it's good or bad,

We're not getting into that.

That's my belief system.

So if you think everything should be equal,

How hard are you going to work in certain areas?

How hard are you going to work for somebody else?

It becomes very confusing at that point.

You will stop short because you will always rely on what your belief system is.

And so we need to ask ourselves,

What are our belief systems?

And most likely,

If we're working in congruency,

I mean not congruent with our belief system,

You're going to fall short every time.

And you're going to be frustrated why it's not manifesting,

It's not working out.

Because you're not being authentic to what you already believe.

So either change your belief system or focus,

Go niche just on the things that support your belief system.

I think one of the most limiting belief system and the most common belief system that causes people to settle is that they don't believe they deserve to be fulfilled.

They believe that it's part of reality to settle,

To compromise,

To accept it's just not going to be as great as I wish or I'd hoped or it's not going to be as great as those other people have it.

And Kabbalah teaches that our destiny,

Not our destiny meaning our life is mapped out already and there's nothing we can do about it.

Rather that it is the reason that we were created is to be fulfilled.

That is literally the reason we were created.

So understanding and being able to identify which of our belief systems interfere with that will actually show you where are you settling.

So it may be in your relationship where you're thinking I'll never get to be as happy as I want so I'm just going to settle being,

You know,

I'm not happy but at least I'm in a relationship,

Right?

If a person realizes that they're here to be completely fulfilled they will recognize that being in a relationship where they're not is not actually a relationship,

Right?

Or being in a career,

In a job position that demeans me or that makes me angry or hopeless I don't deserve that.

Not because I've done anything and that again it's a funny,

It's a fine line between entitlement meaning I deserve it just because versus it's my destiny.

It's my destiny means I have to work for it.

I have to make effort.

There is a series of tasks involved in me creating this fulfillment.

Not that I deserve it just because I'm breathing but the fact,

We call it,

It's a fact in Kabbalah that we are here to be fulfilled.

It says specifically the Creator created the world to benefit the creations.

We're here to enjoy it.

That's why there's,

You know,

Delicious food and fancy fabrics and beautiful music and art and sunsets for us to enjoy because we're here to be fulfilled.

Now the other belief system that prevents people or I would say encourages settling is God doesn't think I should have it or God doesn't care about me or God's ignoring me.

It's around,

David spoke about certainty before but to me it's more about a personal relationship with the Creator.

That by working on our personal relationship with the Creator we begin to realize how much more deserving we are of fulfillment and of enlightenment and of inspiration and of motivation.

All of those things are products of certainty.

We won't feel endless motivation and then have certainty.

We start working on the certainty which,

You know,

David often talks about talking to the Creator even talking out loud,

Prayer,

Meditation,

Really being in that space where we understand,

I understand that,

You know,

Your best friend is going to be somebody that you know you can trust no matter what.

That's always going to be there for you.

That's loyal.

That's rooting for you.

That's cheering for you.

That is the Creator.

There is no more positive force on our side than the Creator.

So part of it is also breaking those belief systems means recognizing,

Wait a second,

The Creator is an endless force of giving and sharing that wants to give me everything.

My work is to get out of the way.

David's just had it.

Maybe that's the point is that if we got those two ideas,

One is that I was created to be fulfilled and two,

The Creator also wants me to be fulfilled.

You mentioned that a couple months ago on an episode.

I was listening to it again.

It's so against how we are trained to believe that really a lot of people think God gets angry at those people.

God doesn't like people who do this.

No.

All God wants is for us to be fulfilled,

For us to fulfill our purpose,

Which is where we derive joy from and that's it.

Everything else,

All God,

The rest of the things that God's busy doing is making sure that things are in the right place at the right time to facilitate that for us.

So imagine that there were a person who had that power,

You would try to be friends with that person.

You'd want to get to know that person,

Find out how they like their coffee and who's their favorite musician.

You try to create a relationship with that person if it was a person.

Why aren't we doing that with that force,

With that energy?

We have a spark of that within us.

It's not somewhere up there that we can't reach.

It's interacting with us through other people,

Through situations,

Through the songs and the videos where we're watching.

Just get out there and be open to it and you will see that that voice then is there for you telling you,

Don't settle.

You deserve more than this.

You deserve better than this.

Not because an ego way you deserve it.

Look at how amazing you are,

But you are capable of experiencing more light than this.

Do not settle.

Do not settle.

That's beautiful.

Final thing we'll add before we wrap up in a few minutes is you hear about this mindset of do everything right,

Do everything perfectly,

Be successful,

Have certainty.

Don't settle.

You hear it from us,

You hear it from a lot of people.

It's all over the place.

What happens when you fail though?

What happens when you just don't have the stamina?

I learned certain things about myself.

Instead of just having this grit and unrealistic expectation of myself,

Sometimes I'll take the knee to conserve my energy and to go at it again later.

I think it's also important that if you're going to quit or you're going to settle,

You're the chooser of that.

You don't choose to be that,

Own it,

But do it with the intention of elevation,

Not failure.

Because I see this a lot on the spiritual path and Kabbalah.

I remember giving this class and this question came up randomly and I said,

Ask any question you want.

Someone's like,

All right,

Here's my question.

Is Kabbalah a cult?

I said,

I heard that.

I said,

Look,

I've got 23 years of my own personal reputation on it to say it's not,

But what I'll say is that everything has a cultish side to it.

And the cultish side is when individual people try to run headfirst into a brick wall because they're excited.

And this always backfires.

And it happens with Kabbalah.

It happens in investing.

It happens in crypto.

It happens in pretty much anything where groups get together and there's powerful content involved.

We lose ourselves.

We lose ourselves.

And then we try to,

We bite off more than we can chew.

We try to do too much and there's failure.

And I believe,

And probably I didn't believe this always,

And it's more something I believe today that I rather take the slow and steady approach.

And that means that sometimes you choose to take the knee,

You choose to just not do it so that you can do it later very powerfully and effectively as long as that's your intention.

Not that you're escaping.

Can you give an actual example of how that looks?

Yeah.

I mean,

There are people who are in businesses that are just failing,

But there's so much ego tied to it.

Or you're like in a stock that's down,

But you have such an ego about thinking that one day it may be just a bad company.

I always ask myself,

I don't invest,

But if there's other people that do and they're just in a bad company and they're holding onto it because they're hoping one day it goes back up.

My question to them is,

Hey,

If today you had this cash,

Would you be putting it in that company today?

Oh no,

I wouldn't.

So why are you staying in that company?

It's just the ego of admitting defeat.

To them,

They think it's settling.

Sometimes you have to just cut your losses and move forward,

Conserve your energy,

Conserve your capital,

And regroup and move forward because it's just ego that makes you hold onto these things.

But how do you not see that as failure?

Meaning you're choosing it,

But not really.

.

.

You wouldn't choose it if the stock was up.

Yeah,

You wouldn't choose the stock was up,

But I think my point is the whole reason why we're talking about it now is to give people permission and to realize there is another side to this.

You have the permission to give up with the intention of succeeding later.

Don't beat yourself up for it,

Don't feel bad for it,

And don't delay it.

Because sometimes even delaying it is a big short circuit and you're just going to be left with less later on.

I want to remove the stigma of settling for less as well because not everyone's going to be able to- So that's what settling for more is.

I like that.

See,

That's actually what settling for more is.

Sometimes you give up now so that you can have more later.

Again,

That's just you knowing yourself.

You knowing yourself and it's not a bad thing and no one's going to think you're a bad person.

Some people are in bad relationships and they're afraid to leave them because they think it's failing and all that stuff.

But that's not necessarily true.

It's complicated.

No,

I've seen it.

For me personally,

I've worked on different projects over the years that I've really been passionate and pushed and put a lot of blood,

Sweat,

And tears in.

And when it doesn't get picked up,

When I don't have the response,

Often I say it's not that I believe less in it or I don't think it's going to work.

I'm just going to stop pushing it and put that energy somewhere else.

And almost without exception- It comes back.

Somebody says,

Hey,

What about that thing you were working on?

Why aren't we doing it?

Yeah,

That's true.

And to me,

The secret sauce in what David is sharing is choosing it,

Not throwing the towel in and throwing your hands up and being exasperated,

But being able to open your viewfinder and say,

With all things considered,

I'm going to put this down and pick this back up knowing that I'm doing it not because I've given up,

But really because I want my energy to be effective.

I want to see fruits.

And that doesn't mean- my personal example,

I mean,

Looking at stocks and stuff,

It's so much not in your control.

It's kind of a hard example.

But even thinking about work or family things,

I remember a student saying to me that they have a family member who is not on a good path and seems to be cycling,

Getting help,

Getting stronger and then falling again to their addictions and taking from everybody in the family and then getting stronger and then falling again.

And the student asked me,

Should we just give up on them?

And the answer was,

What is giving up on them?

Changing the locks and not letting them come back in?

Meaning settling means,

In that case,

Rather than forcing them and trying to push them into continuing this cycle that isn't working for them,

It might mean taking a step back and not forcing the opinion.

There is no such thing as giving up.

That I think is the key to understanding what settling for more is,

Is that you're not giving up,

You're just giving differently.

So on that note,

I want to leave you again with a couple lines from our teacher,

Karen Berg,

Who wrote about this exact idea.

And these episodes,

The topics are planned out like months in advance because we know the weekly energy,

We know the monthly energy.

I could tell you five years from now if you give me a date what the energy is that week.

So this is something we planned on talking about a couple months ago.

And then earlier this morning,

I was looking at different articles and whatnot on Kabbalah.

Com and this is the one that popped up that I'm going to share with you.

No coincidences.

We tend to accept what is handed to us because we do not believe we deserve more.

This is a result of doubt in our abilities to achieve our dreams and fulfill our highest potential.

In addition,

We don't realize that we can say no.

However,

Kabbalists teach that we can implore the creator for more.

Deciding what has been handed to us is not good enough,

Takes a certain amount of confidence,

Settling for more.

Some feel ungrateful asking for more as it may convey that we don't appreciate the blessings we have already received.

The key to overcoming doubt and inviting even greater blessings into our lives is certainty.

Without the certainty that we deserve incredible blessings,

Incredible blessings cannot manifest in our lives.

So how do we achieve certainty?

We do so by looking for the truth that lies beyond the mere appearance of things,

Says Michael Berg.

Certainty is the knowledge that everything that happens in our lives comes directly from the light of the creator and is for our benefit,

Even the challenging experiences.

Therefore,

A blessing comes our way in order to push us to grow as well.

However,

When we receive less than we expect,

We can either take it,

No questions asked,

Or view it as an opportunity to expand our consciousness and ask for more.

This requires that we overcome doubt and maintain certainty in what we want and be focused and determined.

Doubt disrupts our connection to the light of the creator.

When the blessings we hope for are not actualized in our lives,

The cause is oftentimes our lack of faith that we can have more.

Doubt leads to uncertainty and worry,

Which literally blocks the light from manifesting blessings in our lives.

According to Michael Berg,

Every single one of us has many more blessings that have been prepared and are ready to manifest than we actually receive.

We only receive them when we ask for them.

This is our spiritual work and it does not come naturally for most of us.

It's difficult work and requires that we face negativity within ourselves.

Push yourself to go one step beyond what you are accustomed to and ask for more.

Eventually,

We can begin to cultivate certainty and as a result,

The ability to continuously expect more,

Indeed,

To expect the best out of life.

Why should we settle for less?

When we see the world of greater possibilities,

Explains Michael Berg,

When we look beyond the surface to the greater truth that lies beyond the veils of concealment,

Our doubts become certainty and miracles become possible.

And have a fabulous week.

We'll see you next time on the Weekly Energy Boost.