Purposeful Relationships - Weekly Energy Boost

Relationships that reach their highest potential give our lives great meaning. These connections can be a source of strength and happiness, giving each partner a true sense of self and real purpose. In this episode, we’ll demystify relationships, uncovering their true purpose, and the qualities that make them great. This is Episode 1 of 4. Original airdate: 12/14/2020

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to the Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I'm here this beautiful Monday morning with David,

And we are excited to launch into a new series of episodes all about relationships.

The Weekly Energy Boost is your seven-day spiritual energy forecast,

And what we try to do,

We aim to do,

Is to provide the most practical and powerful wisdom for you to navigate these coming seven days.

In fact,

We're really talking about the coming month,

Where this week we are entering the month of Capricorn on the Kabbalistic calendar,

Which can be one of the more challenging months,

One of the months where the tendency,

The natural tendency,

Is to be cold and aloof and recede into our man cave or woman cave,

She shed.

There's a man cave and a she shed,

Apparently.

Oh,

That's good.

She shed.

She shed.

Never heard that.

And that's one of the reasons,

The main reason why we're presenting these four episodes with you,

To you,

For you,

For us as well,

In this month,

So that we are not only aware of our own tendency to go inward and recede during this time,

But so that we recognize the opportunities that the universe is going to give us throughout this time period to express warmth and care and kindness and to be there for one another,

Despite the tendency,

The pull to draw inward.

So we're opening the series by talking in general about relationships,

According to Kabbalah,

And this may even be a direct quote from the book,

God Wears Lipstick by Karen Bird.

Karen says there that if we use them as they're meant to be,

Relationships are the most powerful spiritual tool that exists.

And so I think a lot of us look at relationships as a goal and not a means to a goal.

That's one of the ways that Kabbalah departs from the traditional or maybe the more societal norm,

The pressure that we have to settle down and find the right person.

Actually Kabbalah says that's a result of you finding the right person,

Finding the best person for you.

And maybe we need to define what that looks like according to Kabbalah,

But finding that person is the effect of us fulfilling our purpose for doing the work where we've come here to do.

So we want to unpack that a bit with you today,

And then we will go on in the next few weeks to explore it even further.

Yeah,

I do want to emphasize how valuable it will be for everybody to listen to the next four weeks because we will go in depth about so many different secrets of how whatever role you play in a relationship,

To play that role.

And I made a recording,

Five minute recording just for some of my male students who are married actually.

And those five minutes I shared a secret which was so powerful.

If you do say so yourself.

If I do say so myself.

And I only recorded it because one of my students said,

I heard you speak about this concept in Kabbalah 3 and could you kind of create a bite-sized version of it that I can forward to my male friends who don't even study Kabbalah.

And I remember this concept is so powerful we will hopefully share it in the class we talk about.

The episode.

Sorry,

The episode we talk about for men.

And it's that one thing that a man does that totally shifts his relationship with his partner.

So we'll have a lot of secrets like that and we want people to not miss especially any of these because it will change the quality and hopefully not quantity of relationships that you have in your life.

Don't forget that relationships are not just with one significant other.

We have all kinds of relationships.

Oh so we're talking about all kinds of relationships.

We're not talking about just the love partnership.

I think we will have the emphasis on one of the things I wanted to share today and maybe I'll just dive right in.

Why we're focusing on this and why it's such a big focus for us in general.

Why as humans are we,

You know there's a lot of stuff around the need for warmth and love and acknowledgement and recognition for survival,

Right?

Even when babies are born there was that horrible study where they didn't pick the babies up to see what kind of effect it would have on them in the long term.

Google it or don't.

It's pretty disturbing.

The truth is on a spiritual level we understand that our growth and transformation cannot be done in isolation.

There is a space,

There is a place for isolation in spirituality but that's the space where we go to for reflection,

For recharging but the actual work itself is done in the presence of others.

I don't know that every spiritual path promotes relationships in that same way but the truth is if we're not engaging with other people,

Put it simply,

No one is there to push our buttons to show us where we're falling short or where we need to grow or expand or transform and therefore we cannot grow.

While on one hand we want to talk in these next few episodes about your relationship with the one,

We also can't ignore the fact that there are other actors in the movie of our life that are sent to us to push those buttons to help us become more aware of where we can grow and transform.

My diving board for this discussion is the idea that we're really here to achieve unity and oneness with one other individual.

That's the measure of growth and greatness.

If we can really be one with another person,

We have transformed and so the emphasis on having a significant other is great because that's the hardest thing to do.

It's really easy to like people and to love them and to care for them when you don't have to go home and sleep with them but when you have to go home and sleep with them and I don't mean sexually speaking,

I mean literally you have no escape and David you said I think it was last week you gave the example of the guy who has nostalgia for his single days because he didn't finish whatever he needed to do in those single days.

If you choose to be in a relationship,

You choose to not be alone.

You choose that partnership effectively forever and that's a big deal when it comes to taking responsibility for our spiritual growth.

Especially in our time today,

A lot of people have different opinions about if you should be in a relationship,

If you should be in a relationship with just one person,

If relationships are overrated.

Some people say that a marriage should only last seven years and then you recycle them and you go into some.

.

.

There's actually spiritual pathways that believe in that.

But I studied Kabbalah because I learned that it's not even about being a spiritual person,

It's not about trying to get rid of your guilt or believing in something.

I learned Kabbalah because Kabbalah explains that we came to this world to receive the endless pleasure the Creator wants to give us.

And that for me,

That's an exciting thing because that means I get all the other pleasures of this physical world that everyone knows about but that there's another layer,

Another level of having the light of the Creator flow through you and being connected to this divine amazing energy.

We call it the tree of life,

We call it the 99%.

The idea is you experience heaven on earth.

I want us to always remember,

We're not telling you to do certain things because that's the right thing to do or that's what you're supposed to do because you may say,

Well,

I don't believe in that.

What we all can agree to is that we all want pleasure.

We all want fulfillment.

We all want the highest levels of fulfillment.

And Kabbalists say that whatever pleasure or fulfillment we're having now is a fraction of what is waiting for each one of us.

Okay,

Well,

I'm listening.

How do I get there?

When we learn,

What Elisha has said,

That in order to get there,

It requires a certain level of growth,

A certain level of transformation.

Some people transform quicker than others.

Some people spread transformation over a whole lifetime,

Installments of transformation every year.

Some people are only motivated by pain and suffering to transform.

Some people are more motivated by wisdom and so they have a more merciful life towards transformation.

But the point is the growth and the transformation must occur.

Okay,

Wonderful.

Well,

How does that happen?

The message is of what we need to do,

When we need to do it,

How we need to do it always comes first through the relationships closest to us.

So if we're out of the house,

We're out of the spiritual sphere of energy from our parents,

The romantic partnership that you have,

It starts with the romantic,

Will always be the mouthpiece of the Creator.

So if he or she is telling you,

You don't listen,

Creator is telling you,

You don't listen,

You don't listen to me,

You don't listen to the signs I'm giving you,

You don't listen to the messages I'm giving you,

You don't listen to how much happiness I want to give you.

So it's not about what they're saying or what they're doing.

So to Elisha's point,

The reason why a relationship is exciting is not even about the relationship.

It's about having a direct line of communication to get cutting edge information.

This just in,

Honey.

That's what it is.

This is what you need.

This just in.

You know what?

I just realized that's what it is because information is priceless.

And if you want to know what you need to do to avoid pain,

Suffering,

And chaos and achieve the highest you,

You want that info in real time live,

Like up to the second.

You don't want to hear it a week later.

It's already old,

It's stale.

I read this magazine called The Week.

I like reading The Week and it's all about what happened that week.

It's like a digest of everything so I don't have to read a hundred different magazines.

I like it.

And I remember one time I got The Week and I couldn't find it in the house.

And then all of a sudden a week later I found The Week of the prior week.

And it was useless.

You know,

I said,

It's already one week old.

So I don't even want to read it anymore.

You know,

I found a really amazing thing.

This is not a paid endorsement,

Neither was David's.

Nothing is paid.

There is a great thing on YouTube called The Week in Wrap.

Where was this?

The Week in Wrap.

And I found it through my son's fourth grade teacher.

And basically you get the headlines wrapped to you.

If it's too fast for you,

You can slow the speed down.

It is fantabulous.

But to David's point,

David,

There's a lot of people out there who aren't as excited as you are to do your spiritual work.

They're thinking,

You know what,

Leave me alone.

I don't need to be busy focused on what's wrong with me.

I don't need someone to tell me what's wrong with me.

I know what's wrong with me and I don't want to be held accountable to it.

I'm with you.

I was one of those people.

And here's the bottom line.

We all want the same thing.

We want the fulfillment.

The question is,

How do I get there faster?

I want to get there as fast as possible with the least amount of friction.

If that's what you want,

Then you got to opt in for this kabbalah.

I'd rather just be in a relationship with the creator.

How's that for a comeback?

You want some people to say that?

Yeah.

That's fine.

I want to be one with God.

I don't want to be one with a smelly,

Annoying,

Messy human being.

Okay.

All right.

Obviously that's not my personal opinion.

I'm playing devil's advocate.

We talk about relationship with the creator as being very valuable.

However,

If you do study the totality of this wisdom,

You don't change that horse midstream.

You study the totality of it,

You'll learn that the one thing the creator wants you to do is go back into that house and fix that relationship.

So the creator says,

Yes,

I want to be with you and I am with you.

Now,

Please go back in,

Go back into your home,

Go back into your work,

Go back into the jungle and deal with all the stuff that you don't want to deal with.

Because remember,

To be close to the creator is not just your mind,

Your prey.

Being close to the creator is affinity of form.

And the only way to achieve that affinity is to see where you have disaffinity.

And the only way to know where your disaffinity is,

Is when your spouse tells you about it.

But I'll see your comment and raise you one more.

The truth is there are Kabbalists who teach that you really don't love the creator if you don't love another person.

That's that we learn to love the creator by loving our spouse,

Our significant other.

So the interesting thing,

There's a lot of people out there that think the most high and elevated and pious and holy people are people who are celibate,

Right?

People who are married to God,

So to speak.

And I don't want to put anybody down,

That's not why we're here.

But it's just a paradox that the Kabbalists then come and say,

Wait a second,

If you're.

.

.

By the way,

Maybe we should be clear.

The goal is that we desire to be in that relationship,

That we work toward being in that relationship.

We got an email a couple of weeks ago from a woman,

From a listener who was saying that she's been in relationships,

They've not worked out for her.

In a way she's become obsessed with finding the one,

Finding that person.

She's successful in her career,

Good looking,

Spiritual,

Been studying Kabbalah and done all kinds of other different modalities,

What gives?

And I said,

I can't go upstairs and tell you what's in the file of why you're not in the relationship.

And that's actually the point,

We continue the conversation,

But that's the point I want to bring.

Whether or not it's in the cards for someone,

The Zohar says the same thing about having children.

The Zohar says that it's essential for a person to desire to have children.

It is not essential for a person to have children.

The emphasis is on the desire,

Because what does the desire say?

If I want the relationship,

What am I saying?

I want to be accountable.

I want that newsflash as it hits the presses.

I don't want to wait for it a week later.

I want to know what I need to transform.

I want to transform it.

I want to learn what it is to love unconditionally.

Whether or not it's in the cards for someone is not necessarily known,

Or not necessarily.

.

.

Meaning,

You understand what I'm saying?

Can you reframe it so that I stop chewing on the same gum?

I do want to emphasize the point that every single one of us has in one of the major categories of life,

Whether it's health,

Finances,

Or relationships,

We'll always have one area where there's a little bit more darkness.

It feels more stuck,

Because that becomes the impetus to push us towards asking questions,

Seeking transformation.

This is a universal law.

Everyone listening to our show today,

You need to know that there's going to be always that one area that nags at you.

For a lot of people,

It could be relationships.

I remember talking to this one person,

Exact profile you just said.

She's successful.

She's smart.

She's pretty.

She's spiritual.

She can't find the man that she's looking for.

We have to sit there and dissect it.

The question I'm asking her is,

By not finding,

By not introducing you to a partner,

What is the universe trying to extract from you?

We'll have a dialogue.

We try to go realize maybe where her fears are,

Where her blockages are,

Where she's not working on herself.

Eventually,

We find something.

What we came up with,

Which is very fascinating,

And I want anybody who's listening who's single to see if you relate to this,

I said,

For some reason,

From the man's point of view in your relationship,

The man doesn't feel like he's getting value by being with you.

Interesting concept.

What do you mean?

I want to give.

I have all these qualities.

It doesn't matter that you have all these qualities.

You're missing the target.

A man has a certain desire to receive energy,

And you're not fulfilling it.

You may think you're fulfilling it.

You may think you're the ideal candidate to fulfill it.

You may think you're the greatest thing.

For some reason,

These men don't feel that they're receiving.

I might slap you across the face if you say that to me.

That's almost what happened in the room.

Let's be candid.

If someone gets pleasure from something,

They will pursue it.

That's why people take drugs,

Because they get pleasure from it.

It's good for me,

Bad for me.

People don't think about that.

They just say,

Does this make me happy or does not make me happy?

Why would a man not call you back?

Why would a man cheat?

Why will a man.

.

.

Oh,

No.

He has a disease.

He cheats because he has a disease.

That may be true.

Then why did you pick?

Why are you consciously or unconsciously wanting to be with someone who doesn't have their act together?

You go down that rabbit hole of asking questions.

Then you realize it's some unresolved issues you have in your past that you didn't deal with.

That stuff needs to be dealt with.

My best advice for people,

Whether you're looking for a relationship or in one,

Is to realize how valuable it is to heal and to look at yourself and realize where you're not whole or where you're missing the mark personally and to want to know that.

Because the major obstruction in all relationships is that there's something that's not whole with me that I am now using the other person,

Or I want to use the other person,

To feel good about.

Or I end up abusing the other person without even realizing it because there's some kind of issue that I haven't resolved from my childhood trauma,

From high school,

From college,

From last year.

It's there.

That's what we call a tikkun.

That's what we call a tikkun.

So far we've spoken about the purpose of a relationship,

Which is that it's a test for us to achieve this level of oneness by pulling out our best qualities,

Showing us the qualities that are deficient,

Which is hard to see.

We've learned that the creator uses the relationship as the first point of communicating with us.

If you want to know what the creator thinks about you,

It's what your wife thinks about you.

This is one of the headlines we have in our relationship class where all the men just want to look at me like,

Damn,

That's a thought.

It's a little bubble.

And it's hard to swallow that.

The ego doesn't want to swallow it.

Who wants the ego anyways?

The ego is causing all the problems in our life.

So that's a starting point.

And I have a couple more points,

But I want to pass it to you.

For those of you that are not in a relationship or even considering not maybe leaving the relationship,

Trying to assess whether it's better to be alone than be where you are right now,

I'd ask you the question,

What reactive tendencies,

And when we say reactive,

I don't mean only responsive,

Right?

Reactive behavior we define as something happens outside of you,

We,

All of us do it in some form or another,

We jump to feel that lack that that external thing awakens in us,

Right?

Somebody says something,

I'm hurt and I defend,

Or I retreat,

Or I,

You know,

We'll attack the other person,

Right?

Any of those reactive behaviors,

Anger,

Sadness,

Jealousy,

Frustration,

All of those reactive behaviors.

What reactive behaviors do you,

Are your common reactive behaviors in your relationship or even reflecting on a previous relationship,

Right?

Maybe if we weren't,

If this wasn't a spiritual podcast,

We'd say,

What bad qualities does being in a relationship bring out in you that you don't express when you're single?

Think about that for a second.

Even retroactively as a person who is maybe happily married,

What were the,

No,

The opposite,

Happily single.

What are the,

What is the bad that comes out in you in a relationship?

You can already work on those things now.

That's one of the things I love about Kabbalah is that they're the,

A relationship will always give you the opportunity to grow.

Unfortunately,

Again,

Whether it's through conditioning or natural selection or society,

We can blame whoever we want in the physical frame.

Our tendency is to blame the other person or to make,

If you're arguing with someone,

They're wrong.

It's obvious,

Right?

If I am willing to have an argument with you,

It's because you're wrong,

Not because I'm wrong,

Right?

So the reaction that takes place inside me,

I'm not even listening to the other person,

Right?

I'm not,

I'm formulating my response.

This may happen to you,

By the way,

With your boss,

With coworkers,

With people at the supermarket.

If you're super reactive,

You may be less selective about who you're,

Who you're reactive on.

But to look at those tendencies in a relationship,

Right?

What,

What are the,

What is the worst in me that comes out when I'm in a relationship?

Maybe you become jealous.

And when you're not in a relationship,

You have nothing to be jealous of.

So you prefer to be not jealous.

Working on the jealousy is important,

Whether you're in the relationship or outside of the relationship.

It's an example to show how their relationship really is a workshop.

That's essentially,

We're all here for the sake of fulfilling our soul's purpose.

Part of our soul's purpose is transforming my mighty coon,

The things that I elected to transform in this lifetime.

But it's also about the sharing.

It's also about what am I here to give of myself?

And I promise you,

There are things,

There are ways that you can only give,

And again,

Don't go to the sexual place.

There's a giving you can only do when you're in a monogamous relationship with another person.

There's parts of you that you cannot,

You know,

You may have a best friend for a million years.

You're not giving it to them.

You may have parents that care about you,

That you care about immensely,

Or kids that you care about,

Siblings.

There is nothing like that relationship with the one,

With your person.

So in thinking about those unique opportunities,

And a lot of people,

When you ask them,

Right,

You say,

Why do you want to be in a relationship?

Say,

Well,

I want to be able to take care of someone.

I want to be,

I don't want to,

I want to have someone to go out with.

I want to,

I never want to be alone.

I want to share a life with somebody.

At the end of the day,

Behind those statements or slogans is a sort of cover up scheme.

And one of the things we want to share with you,

Not only today,

But in the coming episodes,

Is to expose really what is,

What is our work in relationships?

What is the purpose?

Why did the creator,

And this is,

I have something written about this.

I want to hear what David has to say also.

What is the,

Why are there relationships anyway?

Why can't we all just be kind of caterpillars doing our thing,

You know,

Eventually we'll become a butterfly.

We'll float from here to there.

It'll be awesome.

What do you,

When,

What gives?

Well,

There are two levels to every relationship.

And unfortunately,

A lot of people stay stuck in the first level.

So I'm gonna share what those two levels are.

First level is the level of chemistry,

Which is important.

The creator makes it known to us that to be in a relationship,

You have to be attracted to the other person.

You have to feel that there is a connection on an emotional level,

On a sexual level,

On a physical level,

On a spiritual level.

So that's the chemistry.

And that is valuable.

We're not going to discount that.

However,

When a relationship stays on the chemistry level,

It's bound to fall apart because chemistry is based on what am I getting from the relationship?

Every relationship's destiny is to elevate to the soul level.

So it goes from chemistry to soul.

And if you're not ready for that transition to soul level,

You will be disappointed in your relationship and your eyes will stray from this relationship.

You will look to go to another.

It's kind of like the muffin top.

You eat the muffin top,

Like that was good.

Now you want another muffin top.

You have to actually commit to the whole muffin.

And maybe it's not the best example,

But it's some example.

So what is a soul level relationship?

The soul level relationship,

The power of it is to see what you're made of when you're not receiving.

Because that's how you know how godly you are.

That's how you know you're reaching your highest level.

Think of what the BUDs program,

I know when they're training to be a Navy SEAL.

I'm fascinated by this stuff.

One of the things that they do is they deprive you of sleep.

They deprive you of food.

They deprive you of warmth.

They deprive you of comfort.

They deprive you of control.

They take all of that away and then they see what kind of a warrior you are.

What kind of a soldier you are.

Because when you got everything going for you and you got that circuitry that we're all looking for.

When you put your best foot forward,

It's not really your best foot,

It's contingent upon all these different energies you're receiving.

So you don't really know who you are.

You don't know who you are until you're not receiving what you want.

That's really important to understand.

That's really deep.

You don't know your essence until you're not getting what you want.

And then when you're not getting what you want,

You realize that your essence is actually just cranky.

And you're complaining or you're sarcastic or whatever it is.

So what happens in the soul and the elevations of the soul of a relationship is the other person for whatever reason is not giving you the energy or the creator is making sure that they don't give you the energy for a certain amount of time.

Now you feel like maybe you're in,

You may escalate it to I'm in an abusive relationship right?

Just because somebody maybe is not smiling at you or doing what you want for a week or two right?

There are abusive relationships.

We're putting that aside for a moment.

We think because people say,

Well,

Isn't it,

Isn't it an equal thing?

Like I want to be one with their circuitry and you need to know in a soul of a relationship.

Yes there is circuitry,

But it's not time bound.

So there is going to be a month or two where you need to be the unconditional giver and trust that what's yours will come to you.

And then it'll shift where then they give you.

We like that when we give,

We're given immediately.

That's what we think a relationship should be.

But a soul of a relationship plays with time and the timeline does not collapse in a soul mate relationship.

And what happens is you'll go through phases where you feel alone or you feel like you're not,

This is not what you signed up for.

What do you do?

Now you're in the buds program,

You're not sleeping,

You're not eating.

You're like,

Well,

This,

This is not what it looked like when I saw the commercial of the Navy Seals.

You know,

When they saw that commercial,

It inspired me.

I want to be a Navy Seal.

It's like you people jumping from the plane,

High fighting each other,

Like strong,

Powerful,

Saving the world.

That's not what I signed up for.

This,

Yeah,

That's the thing.

To get there,

You have to first build yourself having attachment to no energy.

So every relationship will go through this where you're not getting the energy you want and then you have to decide what kind of a person you want to be.

And that's the elevation to the soul level relationship and that's where the true joy and fulfillment is because you find out you connect to the highest part of yourself.

I am thinking of a number of people I know who are,

Would say,

David,

That they have been deprived for long periods of time.

What do you say to them?

Okay.

Now when you're deprived for a long period of time,

I had people tell me that too.

By the way,

I don't want to say it's not deprived of food and water.

This is,

A lot of people,

A lot of marriages with kids,

They end up living parallel lives and they're not the couple that they started out as.

Ships in the night,

Don't have a romantic side anymore.

Even worse than that,

Sometimes I remember talking to a woman who just felt like they were,

She was an employee in the house,

Taking care of the household,

Shuttling the kids to and fro,

Putting dinner on the table.

When her husband just went to work,

Worked,

Came home and expected to be served and left alone because he had a hard day.

Their life just went on 365 days like that a year.

Right.

When you're being deprived,

It's pushing you to find ways to draw down the energy to your home.

Okay?

You have to do everything in your power to draw down the energy of the home.

That list could be personal work on yourself,

Personal therapy,

Personal Kabbalah,

Whatever it is.

That could also be investing in the relationship by trying to get the other person to join you in therapy,

By finding ways to grow it.

It's this active thing that you do to cure the problem,

Cure the disease,

As opposed to just saying,

I'm going to wait for the other person to figure it out or read my mind or whatever.

Or change.

Or change.

It's not your fault,

But it is your responsibility to draw the maximum energy down to the home.

Now I know people who said,

Okay,

Make me my checklist.

I'm going to be the best,

The best wife.

I'm going to do this.

I'm going to do that.

I'm going to really,

I'm going to try everything.

I'm going to pray to bring that energy to the home.

And you know what?

Two out of 10 times,

Nothing changes.

So she said,

What do I do?

I said,

Well,

If you're still not happy and you did everything in your power and you're really not happy,

So you go.

So let's start a separation process if that's really what you want.

I wasn't the one that suggested it.

She's always been asking,

But I said,

Now,

Now if you want to do that,

That's what you can do.

And she did that.

And what happens is then that woke him up.

That woke him up.

There's so many examples.

It doesn't always work though.

It doesn't always work.

By the way,

If they're meant to be together,

The wake up happens.

If they're not meant to be together,

You have to understand that you had a process together that you no longer have,

That you've elevated from.

But what I'm trying to say is sometimes believing is the giving.

And that's something that we need to understand.

Leaving is done with the right intention and done as the last resort.

I'm not a fan of believing.

I think believing needs to be the very last thing always because there's always all this other work to do before you decide to leave.

But if that's the only thing left and you're still not happy,

You're not meant to suffer.

So you could begin a temporary process of leaving.

You could try leaving for a little bit.

You can see where that takes you step by step.

But even the leaving becomes giving rather than the leaving becomes an escape.

You have to be careful you're not escaping,

That you're leaving in a way that's truly giving.

I don't know what else to do.

Maybe leaving will help heal the situation.

Can we go a little deep here?

Sure.

I know for me when I learned this concept,

It helped me to clarify a lot of the misconceptions I had around what it means to be in a relationship,

What it means to be a partner.

Basically Kabbalistically speaking,

The institution of relationships is a recreation or emulation of creation.

I know.

Usually David is the one who's responsible for dropping these bombs.

Let's see if I can do it.

David might have to step in.

According to Kabbalah,

The upper worlds,

The spiritual realms are a marriage of the light force of the creator and the vessel.

Now originally there was a vessel that encompassed all the souls of humanity.

If you can imagine this perfect give and take of energy,

Of balance,

This masculine energy and this feminine energy were perfectly matched and shaped.

At a certain point,

There was a disconnect.

There was a desire on the part of the vessel to be creator also.

Maybe even if you're hearing this for the first time,

You can imagine this dynamic in a relationship.

There's one person in the relationship that does everything,

Plans dates,

Creates every opportunity to be together as the one who takes charge and is the manager of the relationship and the other person just shows up.

At a certain point,

The other person who just shows up often says,

Hey,

This isn't working for me.

What have you done for me lately?

It's to get obsessive or frustrated or resentful about the situation.

Why?

Because that person isn't being allowed to be the creator as well,

Isn't allowed to cause any of the connection between the two partners.

We can get into it a little bit more deeply.

Eventually the physical world came into place,

But the idea is that it's not that relationships are the goal again.

It's the most powerful way for us to be able to reveal our own fulfillment,

Our own power,

Our own gifts because of that reenactment.

That's the word reenactment of that relation,

That original relationship that existed before physicality even took place according to Kabbalah.

If you can imagine two people love each other very much and one of them gets upset or frustrated about something.

Inevitably the real feeling of upset,

And this to me was very profound,

Is that any kind of dissatisfaction or upset or frustration in a relationship always goes back to a point where I was not the creator.

I was not the cause.

For those of you that are listening and are in a relationship,

By the way,

I would suggest that this applies between parents and children,

Siblings,

Friends,

All across the relationship spectrum.

If there is something that's upsetting you about the other,

It can even be about the other person.

David,

You were late.

Well,

You know what?

At the end of the day,

I didn't tell David when to show up.

I said,

I'll meet you there.

There's so many,

That's such a simple example,

But even if,

Let's think of a real life home example.

The sink is full of dishes,

David.

The sink is full of dishes and I'm fuming because I don't want to have to wash all the dishes.

Okay?

Now I can say,

Well,

Everybody in the house is a beep because they left me their dirty dishes or I can reflect.

Now that doesn't mean I need to be the one to wash the dishes.

I'm not saying I get hostile and roll up my sleeves and wash the dishes and I'm angry at everybody.

I recognize,

And this is a real life story.

I recognize that I had opportunities throughout the weekend to empower my family,

Including my little kids,

To wash their dishes or to put them where they belong.

But I was lazy or I said,

You know what?

It's not that big of a deal.

And guess what?

When that accrues,

It's a big deal.

So my point is,

Do I need to say something now?

Okay,

Everybody come to the kitchen and wash your dishes.

Absolutely,

I can say it.

I'm talking about the upset,

Not the actual reality.

When I look back on all of those areas where I'm bothered by the other person,

By what they're doing or not doing or should be doing or shouldn't be doing,

At the end of the day,

The only real control and the real fulfillment and the resolution that I can make is fixing that part,

That reactive part in myself.

And as annoying as it is,

I'm not saying I was created to wash dishes.

What I'm saying is all of those dishes are there to get me to reflect on what I,

The moment in my life where I missed being the cause.

And relationships,

You will make so many mistakes.

We make so many mistakes.

I don't even like that word.

Mistakes?

You'll make mistakes.

What's the issue with the word?

There's no such thing as mistakes,

David.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Cliche.

You'll think you made a mistake.

You'll feel you made a mistake.

And you did.

And that's okay.

The most important thing I tell people in relationships is just don't give up.

You can't give up.

Just keep swimming.

You can't give up.

Leaving a relationship may also not be giving up.

You can't give up on your desire to reach the greatest version of you in these relationships because sometimes people just throw their hands up in there.

Sometimes they feel shut down because they don't see where this is going.

They don't see how they're going to make this work.

They don't see how they're going to receive what they want.

You have to maintain your certainty and know that there's the only way two people who are opposites really are going to come together as one is with the dynamic of the light of the Creator.

And you have to ask yourself all the time,

Please,

You have to ask the Creator,

Please,

Be part of this relationship.

Guide me in what I need to say.

I don't know how to give right now.

I think I do.

I tried.

It's not working.

I don't even know what to change.

To constantly ask the Creator to guide you,

To show you it's a daily request.

Things are not going to make sense.

You're going to feel hurt.

And in every step of that way,

You've got to be like,

I want to know.

I want to know.

Help me.

Guide me.

Show me.

I want.

I want to know what that message is.

And especially if you're in a relationship where things are great,

You have no problems right now.

It's phenomenal.

You should also be asking and saying,

Creator,

Things are great.

I really appreciate it.

But I want to know what I can do now proactively not to wait for pain,

How to enhance this relationship,

How to take it to its next level.

Every day I want to learn something.

I want to earn this person.

That's the other thing I wrote down,

That a person should wake up every day thinking,

How can I earn the person I'm with?

Even though it seems like you already got them,

When you're not earning that person,

You're losing that person.

So just because you're married or you know the other person is committed to you doesn't mean anything.

If you're not working to get them to connect with them every day,

Like you used to do when you were dating,

You tried to impress,

You tried to figure out the new way of getting them to like you.

Not that you need them to like you,

But the idea is that you vie for their affection.

If you're not doing that every day,

Then it's deteriorating slowly.

Then all of a sudden you wake up and you realize,

Well,

This relationship is not where I want it to be.

So earning the person every day is a valuable,

Valuable thing.

Could you use that on being single as well?

What do you mean?

I want to earn my soulmate.

I'm single.

What do I need to do today to earn my soulmate?

You should be asking every day.

Meaning it doesn't stop once you found that person.

Yeah,

It doesn't stop once you find that person.

To keep something is actually harder than to find something.

To find something,

You're motivated because you don't have it.

It's very exciting.

You're motivated to fight for it.

Once you have something,

That's when the real spiritual work begins to maintain it and keep it.

It's easier to make money.

It's harder to hold on to it.

That's the truth.

Well,

I want to just draw some attention to the fact that we are in the week of miracles,

According to Kabbalah.

We are smack dab in the middle of Chanukah and we have this week not only that energy of miracles,

Of rising above our physical reactive nature,

Of being able to tap into the Kabbalists,

Teach that there is a unique light that's available this week that isn't available any other week of the year.

We also have the new moon this month.

I mentioned earlier that one of the reasons we're focusing on relationships in these few weeks is because we're now entering the month of Capricorn.

The new moon is Wednesday.

From Tuesday night to Wednesday night,

We're planting a seed for the coming 30 days.

Obviously,

To be able to do that in the week of miracles is amazing,

But at the same time,

We don't want to rest on our laurels.

We want to make that effort.

The theme this week,

This month,

Is very much about making extra effort,

Getting outside of my comfort zone.

There's a Kabbalistic principle that the more that I will go against my nature,

The more nature will go against itself for me.

It's really for me about not being a statistic,

Knowing that the more outside of the confines of my comfort zone I can be,

The better reality I attract to myself.

That is amplified on the new moon every month.

It happens to work beautifully for us in this month specifically.

From Tuesday night to Wednesday night,

We always encourage our listeners to be the best you can be,

To smile even when you don't want to,

To look for those extra opportunities,

To stretch yourself because you will experience the profit from that throughout the rest of the month.

David,

We have a few minutes left.

I just want to wrap it up with,

I'm excited for the next couple of weeks.

I got PowerPoints.

I don't know if you want to put that up there.

We'll just read from them for people.

Talking about man's role,

Woman's role,

All kinds of relationships.

We're going to cover the gamut.

There's no right or wrong way to look at this.

We're going to talk about things that the negative side does to confuse men,

Confuse women,

Pitfalls,

Things to watch out for.

A lot of great concepts that I think will be eye-opening for people.

Definitely if you have questions,

And bear in mind,

We get a lot of questions where people say they share their experience and they say,

What should I do?

That's really not what we're here for.

The advice is very difficult to give,

Especially when we don't know the person asking the advice.

We're looking for questions more about relationships and how they work.

That is around the female energy,

The feminine energy,

Masculine energy.

We're going to talk in the fourth episode about toxic relationships.

How do you know?

What do you do?

How to navigate the relationships that you can't get out of that are stifling negative,

Et cetera.

We encourage you to send in your questions to energyboost at kabala.

Com.

Did you know that we're on Pandora now?

It's great.

We're also on Pandora.

We've been added to the Pandora podcast list.

But obviously,

You can find us wherever you get your podcasts.

We're also on YouTube.

The amazing thing,

I think,

About being able to share this wisdom,

And I hear from people all throughout the week about it,

Is that it's something they've been sharing and having conversations about.

I think it's fabulous that we're able to be able to give that opportunity to people to have those conversations about our conversations.

Share your questions with us so you can become a part of that conversation as well.

We'll see you next week for the feminine side of relationships on the Weekly Energy Boost.

Reviews

This was such an interesting discussion, really insightful points, thank you. Love and blessings 💜x