Practicing Unconditional Love - Weekly Energy Boost

Often our pursuit of perfection can create disconnection with our own inner being and with the people around us. Unconditional love means accepting people exactly as they are – flaws and all! Ourselves included. This week we’ll share five ways to practice unconditional love to strengthen our self-love and acceptance of others. Episode 3 of 5. Original airdate: 6/21/21

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I am here this lovely Monday morning with David,

And today's episode is the third.

Actually,

I was going to say,

It's all about love.

It is all about love.

This whole month is about love,

And we're focusing specifically this week on unconditional love.

However,

We have,

Over the last couple of weeks,

Been so bombarded with questions.

I wanted to make sure that we give some time to those questions,

Because one of the things about love,

And this is really the reason that we're focusing on it this month,

Is that there are all these different things,

Cosmic energies.

I mean,

I'm reading things every day,

And that cosmic energy phrase sounds a little bit woo-woo,

But a lot of astrologers,

Spiritual leaders,

Even you can look in the biblical portion of each week,

And you can see the influence.

Really,

Our lives are walking examples of what the predictions are.

The predictions are funny,

Because I don't actually like to look at that kind of stuff.

I don't open up Vogue magazine and say,

What's my horoscope today?

I'm a Pisces,

And this month I should stay in bed,

But rather the fact that we're compelled to experience life this week and these last few weeks as challenging our perceptions of love,

Our experiences of love,

I can tell you for me personally,

I've had,

Not only because I'm sitting and preparing for every episode,

But also in my own life,

Rethinking how I express my love to others.

One of the things that I realized,

And this is really,

I think it is connected to today's episode,

Today's topic,

Is that what you feel in your heart doesn't really matter if you don't express it.

Last week I told the story about the guy who loves fish.

What does he love about fish?

How it tastes,

How it feels in his mouth,

How it nourishes his body.

That's not really love,

That's need.

Today in addition to answering our listeners' questions,

We're going to talk about what does it mean to truly love another person?

What does it mean to be one with them?

Even though last week we talked about why it's so important to have love for others and to make the effort to be in a monogamous relationship,

To seek that out,

At the same time there are opportunities 24 hours a day,

Seven days a week,

To express love in ways that maybe we don't think of as expressing love.

So we want to talk about that today as well.

David,

Do you want to say anything before we get into the questions?

I'm excited to hear the questions.

I did want to share one thought about,

It sounds cliche,

But about loving yourself.

There are things that we do that cause us to be hard on ourselves and to quote hate ourselves.

That's what's stopping us from loving ourselves.

I know it sounds so simple,

But people are always trying to,

Oh,

How do I love myself?

Forget about trying to love yourself.

Work on not hating yourself.

And automatically what will happen is the true soul shines.

And so that love or that energy starts to come through when you focus on cleansing the negative aspects of what you're doing.

And I'll just give you one example and then we'll get to the questions.

We can share more examples throughout the episode.

Whenever you try to achieve too much,

So you try to think about the future,

About maybe who you need to become or what you need to achieve in your work or with your family or with your kids.

And you try to think of,

Oh,

How do I do all that?

And you try to do all of that all at once.

You try to get to a spiritual level too quickly.

When you try to become too successful too quickly or anything too quickly,

The natural result of that is you will be hard on yourself and then you will hate yourself.

And as a result,

You won't love yourself.

So that is one thing that we all do that perpetuates self-hatred,

Which prevents self-love,

Which then creates that vicious cycle.

So the secret to loving yourself is acknowledging and finding the things that you do that are causing you to be hard on yourself.

And one of them is trying to do too much too quickly,

Too fast,

And not letting the Creator's timeline unfold.

Well,

What's interesting is one of the questions that we got,

And I see it actually here again in the live feed,

Is how do we practice unconditional love while still maintaining,

Here the question is healthy boundaries,

But I think the question we got earlier this week was without losing yourself,

Which to me is an expression of not having boundaries.

And I wrote down for myself five ways to practice unconditional love.

We can go over.

I know you're usually the one with the list.

I have my list this week.

But I think that part of that,

We intentionally started this conversation with loving ourselves first,

Because that is kabbalistically the first step to creating a,

Being able to give love.

One has to love the equipment.

I don't mean equipment,

Physical equipment.

You have to have,

You can't pour from an empty cup,

Right?

So if you don't have that reservoir of I know who I am,

I love what I am,

I am a conduit of the light force of the Creator,

Then you can give that to others.

Then you can create that circuitry that we spoke about last week with other people.

The idea of having boundaries,

And we have spoken about this so many times in different ways,

Is that sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone is to have boundaries.

How many of us,

I'm sure many of us,

Have had loved ones that have unhealthy habits,

Addictions,

Maybe gambling,

Drugs.

There's no,

I could go on with the list,

Right?

And the most loving thing to do in that case is sometimes to cut them off or to stop giving them the money,

The support,

The couch to crash on because sometimes a person does need to hit rock bottom in order to make a change for themselves.

So unconditionally loving is not giving whatever you have until you don't have it anymore.

It's not I give my love no matter how I'm treated,

No matter what is done to me in return.

It is loving not for the sake of what I'm going to receive in return.

And that's why sometimes loving means saying no,

Saying stop it,

Saying you can't have this anymore because that's really the,

I'm willing to sit in the discomfort of the other person is upset with me,

The other person is angry at me,

I may not hear from the other person anymore,

But I love them so much,

I'm willing to do what's best for them regardless of how I feel about it.

And I think that that's,

Maybe the perception is that unconditional love is I'm a doormat,

Take whatever you need,

I don't care,

There's no conditions to my love.

No,

The opposite,

That I have healthy boundaries in place.

I know what is okay and what is not okay with me,

But my lack of conditions comes from the I am going to love because it's my opportunity for me to express my true essence.

That may,

I think we talked about it a couple months ago,

People often look at the world around them and they say,

Well there's so much darkness in the world,

How can there be a God?

Why would God allow X,

Y,

And Z?

And we were talking about how we equate God,

The creator,

The light,

The infinite force of giving and sharing to be constant pleasure.

But the infinite force of giving and sharing,

The omnipotent force that's behind the universe is trying to push us to our best selves and sometimes it doesn't feel good to be pushed into that place.

So sometimes unconditionally loving the other person means being uncomfortable,

Means having a broken heart and knowing that even though your heart hurts,

You're helping the other person more than they can even help themselves.

So today we really want to sort of spin everything we know about love to an angle in which we understand it's not the nice thing to do,

It's not the right thing to do,

It's not the fun thing to do,

It is the greatest expression of our true essence which is our soul.

So to play devil's advocate here,

I hear what you're saying and a lot of people – I know what you're saying.

I feel I know what you're saying and I'm just trying to see now from our audience's point of view,

A person says,

Okay,

Just set boundaries.

Now you love yourself.

Well,

When you're a tycoon,

When your soul's correction is the confusion around how to set boundaries or the lack of self-love is because you don't set boundaries.

Well,

I mean if everybody knew how to set boundaries,

They would because it is kind of confusing.

Well,

When do I draw the line?

When do I say yes?

When do I say no?

Is it coming from the creator?

Is it coming from the opponent?

And the confusion is what causes people to stay stuck.

So how do we unravel that confusion?

Because eventually we have to kind of go back,

Go back,

Go back,

Peel this onion and go to its core.

What do I got to do to even know how to set a boundary?

Because that solving that question is what will unlock the mystery of this episode.

Okay.

Are you asking me?

I'm asking you.

Okay.

So in my experience,

One of the easiest ways to figure out where you don't have boundaries is to think about what are you angry and resentful over?

Okay.

And I'm following here.

So I write down where am I angry and resentful?

I'm writing it down.

I am angry and resentful that my family,

My friends always wait for me to make plans.

Okay.

So I want everybody who's listening instead of just passively listening,

Try to actively listen and think of an area because I'm going to do this.

This is not planned.

I'm going to do this exercise with Ali Sheva and I want everybody to do it with us as you're listening.

So think of a place right now where you're angry or resentful.

And if you can't write it down,

Just you write,

You scribble it down in your brain and let's follow this example.

So all right.

So we all have this area where we feel angry and resentful.

Okay,

Great.

Next.

The question to ask is what's my responsibility in the creation of that situation?

So for going with my example,

Which I'm thinking of somebody who brought this to a meeting very recently with me,

They realized through the blessing of 2020 that if they don't reach out to their friends,

They don't hear from them.

So what was the conclusion?

Nobody loves me.

Nobody cares about me,

Et cetera.

We broke it down a little bit and we realized that in being the party planner,

The initiator,

The person who always contacts and makes things happen,

She set a precedent.

She demolished a boundary.

She basically told her circle of friends,

I will take care of it.

I am self-reliant.

I am the cruise director of our friend group and you don't need to do anything.

So there is a boundary that's being,

The place to put the boundary is this friendship is a two way street.

This friend group is a collaboration,

But she has set the precedent that she doesn't have that boundary,

That she is in charge.

She's going to initiate,

Now I even use the word initiator.

That might sound like it's the right thing to do.

I am the cause of my friend group getting together.

Isn't that a spiritual thing,

Elisheva?

The answer is it's only spiritual if it takes spiritual effort from you to make it happen.

If it is what's easy for you,

What's comfortable for you,

What's natural for you,

Then it is not revealing the light it can.

So her response was,

Forget about it.

I have no friends.

I'm just going to ignore them and they're not even going to call me back and I have to find a whole new group of friends.

When I challenged her with the idea that what if the solution is not find a new group of friends,

But instead ask who wants to get together and who's going to plan it and whose house is it at and not throw it,

Not take it all on herself to be the,

I don't know,

Cruise director is the one that sounds the best to me,

To really be the one who organizes all the activity of this group.

Shoot.

Okay.

I hope everybody followed that.

David can't relate because he doesn't have a friend group of girls that want him to make plans for that.

Going on a cruise ship.

Going on a cruise ship.

So now I'm just trying to think here because I was going to protest from a different way,

But I- So approach it.

So there isn't one answer to any question.

No,

But your answer is correct also.

You know what?

Let's do it this way because I was having this question because I talk to students a lot and in my mind I'm like,

Well,

Yeah,

Just do that.

And then they're like,

What do you mean?

Or I'll come to the conclusion and they're like,

Oh,

I see.

My thing is why didn't they come to that conclusion themselves?

We want to all become self-sustaining channels of our own personal transformation.

And unless you have kind of a teacher or a mentor,

Which everybody needs to have,

Showing you another perspective,

People get stuck.

Can you all relate with me that you get stuck all of a sudden with what you need to do with yourself?

I mean,

Me and Alicia get stuck when it comes to our own tikkun,

Our own correction.

When it comes to our students,

We see clearly we get an idea,

We get a message,

But how do we get messages for ourselves?

This was my conundrum,

By the way,

I've been having for a while because ultimately we got to get everybody not to be reliant on other people in general and to have that relationship with the creator themselves.

And when I was on a retreat in Connecticut,

We have a little retreat place,

A home,

One of the things is that all the books that was in Karen Berg's house here in LA,

They transferred the books to this home.

So I was kind of bored.

It was a Saturday,

I was kind of bored.

I was looking through the library and I just,

Some book,

I forgot even what it was called.

I just picked some book off the shelf and I started reading it and I realized that it was a spiritual book,

Very Kabbalistic,

But not necessarily a Kabbalah book,

But it was kind of like a scientific way of looking at Kabbalah and it really fascinated me.

And they wrote something scientifically how to solve this problem,

Which I found very fascinating and I'm going to try to say it in a succinct way for the amount of time we have now.

But the idea was that if all of our souls are connected,

And there's a term for this,

Kabbalistically it's called Shekhinah,

Which comes from the word Shekhin,

Which means to dwell.

It's almost like there's a collective soul that all of our souls are part of.

And what bottom line is you need to know that all of our souls are somehow connected.

So scientifically they were saying,

And this is backed by what we teach in Kabbalah 1,

That if someone is coming into your movie,

We used to always say,

Well,

If they bother you that something exists within you.

But it goes even deeper.

If someone is entering your vicinity with whatever challenge or negativity,

It also means that you have this and you have the responsibility or the ability to cleanse it by shining a light on it.

And it was very simple because,

For example,

If I'm,

Let's say a student calls me and says,

You know,

I'm having trouble with my daughter.

Now I'm not having trouble with my daughter.

She's having trouble with her daughter.

But I need to end this phone call and say,

You know,

I'm having trouble with my daughter,

Even if I don't have a daughter.

And I need to inject positive words,

Positive energy,

Positive affirmations,

Kabbalistic tools we use for this as well.

But let's say you don't know any of the Kabbalistic tools,

Even saying something like,

I'm sorry,

Or I love you.

Like that's just the words of love because we're talking to the shows all about love because that is the Creator's main force.

And I'm just injecting that energy.

What the scientists were saying is that you actually remove that darkness and open up from that person that you just spoke to,

Almost like the Creator sent them to you to,

By you opening it up inside yourself,

You open it up inside of them.

That's funny.

20 years of studying Kabbalah,

This is what we teach,

Obviously.

I just needed to hear it from a scientific.

They showed how what happens in the brain and all these different things when you do that also.

So it helped me understand it on a much deeper level.

When you do that,

Then you start to feel good.

You feel the energy inside yourself.

And then that opens up how to set boundaries,

That opens up how to make decisions,

And that opens up so on and so forth.

So I don't know if that was too convoluted,

But I wanted to share something that I've been practicing.

I feel like I saw this book,

Which I now need to go back and find out what it was because I spent some time reading it when I was in Connecticut.

The Creator showed me that book.

It's a question I had.

I picked it off the shelf for whatever reason.

Divine wisdom was there.

And it opened up a whole new layer of understanding,

Kabbalistic wisdom of how to love yourself,

Clearing out those memories,

Those painful memories,

Simply by shining a light on it,

Saying I love this.

We teach them to come down the line.

We say pause,

Pause,

What a pleasure,

Or pause,

Thank you.

We're shining light on this negativity.

And that's how we cleanse it.

Well,

That's also the essence of unconditional love,

Right?

Unconditional love.

When you love someone else unconditionally,

You see the best in them,

But you also see the worst and you love them anyway.

And so to me,

That's also about when we see the darkness,

We understand the purpose of it is for the light anyway.

And that's why we power through.

We know that there is a diamond at the end of the process.

And we look at the other people in our lives that way as well.

And of course,

That's not easy.

But the,

I don't want to sound sadistic,

But we're not here for easy.

We came here to do work.

The work,

However,

Is much more about the willingness than it is actually the difficult,

Uncomfortable situations.

And we probably don't talk about that enough,

But it really is,

We say often that the key to everything is really intention.

What that means is that I'm willing to go through,

To cross the sea,

To go through,

What do you call it when you're on the rapids and there's like a waterfall,

There's a drop,

You know,

You're willing to go,

If there's going to be a drop,

You're willing to go down with everybody,

But you really don't have to.

And it's that willingness that creates the magic,

The power in overcoming whatever challenges you have in your relationships,

Whether it's a lack of a relationship or a difficult relationship,

It's our willingness to do the uncomfortable work that really brings the magic.

So what are some of the questions that you had from our listeners?

So we had another question that came up that I can also look at the feed because I wrote on a bunch of them.

One of them was about finding love in the golden years and why bother finding the golden years for,

You know,

Social security and onward,

I guess.

I mean,

What,

What,

65 and older,

I didn't,

She told me how old she was.

She said she's 71,

She's 71 and she was asking why bother?

What like,

What's in it for her?

You know,

They don't need to create a family anymore.

They she already had kids.

She was,

She wasn't married.

She's not anymore.

I didn't ask why or how,

But the question came out.

First of all,

I gave some positive reinforcement there,

But I think that I would love to hear from you as well.

You know,

Bearing in mind,

We did talk about it last week that the purpose of a relationship is not even when you're 25 it's not so that you can have kids and leave a,

Live a legacy kabbalistically.

That's not the reason to,

To be in a partnership in a relationship with someone.

The reason is because that's the most powerful way to you for us to act like the creator capital C it's not about that.

You know,

If you want to do the work that your soul came to do,

You will invite in someone who can see you completely and fully to be able to help you do that work and to help them do that work.

So doesn't matter.

Age is not a factor.

Age is a demarcation of chronological time and doesn't,

I shared with a,

Another student of mine that I heard,

Uh,

Someone my age,

Their mom has a new boyfriend and it's the love of her life and he's never seen her so happy.

And that to me,

She's in her seventies also.

And that to me is a reason to be open to a relationship,

Right?

The,

The,

The willingness again,

I'm going to go back to that word willingness,

Which comes from the word will,

Which is about desire,

The desire to take the risk and to be vulnerable and to open ourselves up to that is a big part of the game of life.

You want to win.

You have to take the risk that you,

You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take,

Including in relationships.

Right?

So the question is one exactly.

Does this person need to be in a relationship?

What does this person need to do?

What do we,

What is the exact question as you see it?

Why bother being in a relationship if you're quote unquote done?

That was,

That was kind of how she put it.

Right,

Right,

Right.

So we probably need to veer away from this idea of I need to do something.

I'm supposed to do something.

For sure.

I don't know if we gave that impression that a person is supposed to be in a relationship.

Ultimately,

No,

We spoke,

We were very clear last week.

It's about the desire,

Whether or not a person is in the relationship is not in their hands wholly fully,

But it's important to have the desire because the desire is where the work is,

Not the actual.

Yes,

Yes.

That's the opportunity.

Yes.

I would say,

It's hard to speak about this when you're not in your golden years.

David's going to use that a lot this week,

I can tell.

I try not to say things that I'm not experiencing or have experienced,

But having students who have,

I would say,

You know,

My default safe answer here is,

Because yeah,

You know what,

I'm speaking about this with a couple of students who are,

Who are of that age.

And I think every time I speak to them,

I'm just gauging,

You know,

Are you fulfilled?

Are you happy?

Why not?

Why yes?

And letting them have a deeper relationship with the Creator so that they feel guided.

And obviously similar pain points come up for people who are older and there's fears that come up.

But this was a big fear I heard a lot that you start to see a lot of your friends dying.

This was something someone told me,

I think she was 60.

She said it just hit her that all of a sudden so many of our friends are getting sick or these are,

This one's dying or this one and it's a wake up call.

So I see that can bring up a lot of fear.

And no matter what age you are,

When you have fear,

This is,

This is an opportunity that your only your soul can do to bring light into that.

And not to live your life from that fear,

From that darkness,

From that memory,

Because all fears are memories from past lives that haven't been cleansed.

And when we hold on to those memories,

The memories become the guiding light,

Which then leads us down the wrong path versus the divine inspiration of the Creator being the guiding light.

I think that's kind of,

That kind of summarizes it.

There's two forces that will guide you.

First your memories,

Your painful memories from your,

What we call your tikkun,

Your correction from past life and this life.

And most people,

99% of people make decisions based on that.

That's why pause breaks that pattern and shifts you to the divine.

So there's a voice,

There's a message,

There's a pathway that the Creator speaks to people.

And regardless of what age you are at,

You should always be looking to be spoken to through that channel.

And if you don't know which channel is talking to you,

You just keep cleansing.

You keep pausing,

You keep cleansing,

You keep going.

What does cleansing mean,

David?

So cleansing,

When,

How do you cleanse something when you say it's good?

As soon as you say it's good,

You actually cleanse it.

Because what are we trying to clean?

We're trying to clean something that's bad and it's dark.

And when you shine a light on it,

Or when you say it's good,

Or when you inject certainty into it,

These are all qualities of the light,

You actually shine the light.

This is why Kabbalah 1,

Class 1,

It's so powerful because it's pause and then shine and then acknowledge it,

Have certainty in it,

Appreciate it.

Even if you have to fake it,

You are now cleansing that negativity immediately on a soul level.

And then the voice of the light of the Creator shines through automatically.

It's not,

It's not,

It's like,

It doesn't even happen like a second later.

It's instantaneous.

So that's what cleansing means.

As soon as you accept something,

You cleanse it.

As soon as you appreciate something,

You cleanse any negativity around it.

Well,

By the way,

I'm just looking at my list.

We've already covered a bunch of the points without directly trying to cover them.

The first point was love yourself despite your flaws,

Which we covered in,

You know,

Part of unconditionally loving others means unconditionally loving yourself,

Right?

Every diamond starts out as a piece of coal and Kabbalah,

The Kabbalah,

Repeat over and over and over again,

You are not your flaws.

You are not your mistakes.

You are not your misjudgments.

You are a pure spark of the light force of the Creator.

And it's loving that that helps us to awaken that unconditional love.

Number two,

Which we also talked about in the first episode is to take care of yourself,

Body,

Mind and spirit,

Right?

It's very difficult to love,

To give love,

To act from a loving place when you're depleted,

When you haven't set up those healthy boundaries,

Which we started to talk about at the beginning of the show.

Those boundaries actually ensure that you do have the energy,

The thoughtfulness,

The compassion that unconditional love requires.

So it sounds funny,

The first two,

Even though unconditional love seems like it needs to be expressed in the world,

It's actually if you don't first express it in your inner world,

It's not going to come out right.

And the third one I'm going to go to,

And then I have a question on it,

So I want to talk about that as well.

The third one is to let go of attachment.

And that maybe resonates with most people when they hear the word unconditional,

Right?

It's only natural that we get too attached to the things in our lives.

Sometimes they're material things like money and cars and houses,

But sometimes there are expectations and our pride and our plans.

And we know that we get attached to those things because we can't let them go.

So we have a question from a listener who's asking,

If the thing that you most desire is to fall in love and have a family,

In a loving way,

Not just to,

I think what she was implying is that she knows that she can go medically to have a child on her own,

But her dream is to have a partner and create a family together,

How can she both desire that and let go of it?

Because we talk a lot about letting go.

And I felt that I think also in this episode about unconditional love,

Unconditional is,

As we're talking about here,

I'm not attached to how it happens.

I'm not attached to who it's with.

I'm not attached to when it happens,

But at the same time,

It is still one of my deepest desires.

So what's the question?

How do you be in both places of,

I want it and I'm willing to let it go?

Because what I understood is she's not willing to let it go.

She wants it.

She's not,

You know what I'm saying?

And we're talking here about letting go of attachments.

When we do let go of the attachments,

What we're basically doing on a meta level is we're telling the creator,

We know the creator knows better what should happen than we do.

That's really one of the most important parts of the broadcast that happens when you let go is that when I'm attached to what I want,

I'm saying,

I know better.

When I let go,

Which why I think the question is how do you desire it and let it go at the same time?

It sounds like a contradiction.

It sounds like a contradiction when you're trying to solve it as a contradiction.

Think of areas in your life that you desire it,

But you're also kind of think of how the body works.

The body is doing like a trillion.

Are we going to get digestion?

No,

I'm not going to go to the digestion.

I'm not going to go to the colon.

All right.

We're not going to the colon.

What other parts of our body knows how to let go,

David?

There are a trillion things happening in our body simultaneously,

But obviously we desire them to happen.

We desire that the body performs in this beautiful,

Magical way,

But I'm not having anxiety.

It's happening naturally because I want it to happen,

But I'm also not attached to it.

There's probably other areas of a person's life that things are happening naturally where obviously you desire it to happen,

But you're not attached to it.

You're also confident in its outcome.

When you overthink something and you overanalyze something,

That's when you start to bring the satana into it,

The negative forces.

That's what I told somebody this week,

Very simple.

When you're overthinking something,

It means you've already brought negativity to it.

You're thinking about it all the time.

That's the problem.

That's how you know you're in the wrong zone,

The tree of knowledge,

Good and evil,

Not the tree of life.

When you're thinking about something too much,

It means that light can't.

.

.

You're micromanaging it,

And so the light of the Creator steps away.

Okay.

You got this.

I can go do other things.

Huh?

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

Exactly.

Exactly.

It's kind of like,

How do I put max effort in without pushing the Creator out?

Obviously,

We need to take care of ourselves,

Our physical body,

But when our mind.

.

.

Because really when it comes down to the mind,

The mind is consumed by something.

You're then banging your head on a wall to try to make something happen,

But the Creator can't come in.

How do I do my max but know when to get out of the way to allow all the other forces to have synergy and make a manifestation happen?

Finding that beautiful balance is the art of spirituality.

How do you stop those thoughts when they keep coming?

How do you stop?

I don't think it's about stopping the thoughts that are coming,

But the thoughts come from a place of desire.

If you look at the hierarchy of spiritual cause and effect,

It starts with my tikkun,

My correction,

So this is like a past life memory that then triggers a desire.

For example,

Let's say,

Past life I was hurt,

Somebody left me,

So I'll have a desire when I see someone that I want them to like me.

I don't even know why I desire that,

But it just comes.

Then I'll have thoughts of how to get this person to like me.

A thought,

I'll be bombarded by thoughts.

Oh,

I should dress a certain way.

I should say this.

I should be important.

I should go be successful and then come back to this person.

Then all these thoughts come.

Then after that,

The free will is pretty much gone because you'll just live your life in action mode to become successful,

To then eventually have this person like you to satisfy that memory.

How do you stop the bombardment of thoughts?

Go back a step.

Let's go back to the desire.

What am I desiring right now?

Well,

I'm desiring this person to like me.

Let's let go of that desire.

Let's basically realize that I want something even bigger than that.

I don't want just this person to like me.

I want something greater than this.

I want the light of the Creator and this is the relationship of the Creator.

So then the thoughts shift.

The type of thoughts that come to you is not how do I get this girl to like me,

But the thoughts are how can I be more like the Creator.

But because we live in a community of seven billion people,

We're all thinking about how do I get people to like me,

It's very hard.

So you'll listen to this episode and you'll be like,

Oh yes,

You know what,

I do want to be with the light and you'll feel it because you're listening to it right now and you're connecting to its energy.

But you're going to step back into the seven billion people who are just thinking how do I get you to like me.

And that's a very powerful aura of light to have to compete with.

So I fall into it all the time.

I'm sitting here having a conversation with you.

Yeah,

All I want is the light of the Creator.

So then I step out there and get into the emails and the phone calls and whatnot.

All we're thinking about is how do I make this happen,

How do I make that happen,

How do I?

And it's very hard to be in both worlds.

And that is the power of why we're here.

To achieve this balance is our task.

So that is how I would solve the simplicity,

To achieve a level of simplicity in the mind is to go back to what's my desire here and how do I shift that to be a pure desire.

I think that that leads us to point number four,

Which is diminish the ego.

Okay.

Because our ego is that part of us that tells us I deserve that girl or I'm a good person so I've earned these things in return.

This should be happening to me.

That shouldn't be happening to me.

That's the ego.

And it also blinds us to the parts of us that we can improve.

I've arrived already or it doesn't make sense.

Why am I alone or why am I being treated this way?

So when we set our consciousness,

Like David said,

On connecting to the creator and being more in that space of I want what the light wants,

Which is,

I'm not saying it's easy,

But it's definitely a better vibe than I want you to like me.

We're also able to see more clearly those moments.

And I challenge you guys to think about the last time that you were in a,

Might be a long time for a lot of us,

But a social situation in which we were trying to get attention or validation or acknowledgement and how you felt when you did or did not get it.

That's not you.

That's the ego.

Right?

It's so funny because I hear myself,

I sound like a broken record,

But the part of us,

Right?

I talk to people all the time as you hear often in our shows,

We share our conversations with people.

And I spoke with someone yesterday that was,

She was telling me that she really just wants her husband to,

To just admit she is,

She is the best.

She is awesome.

She is the heroic and she's making herself a martyr to get that title from her husband.

So I would in that moment go to the place of why do I,

Why do I need my husband to feel this way?

I want to feel some kind of pain I have from past life and this life.

I want to heal that right now with my own power.

I want to acknowledge that I am okay.

I want to,

I want to say it over and over again that I am okay and then I don't have pain.

Then I'm with the light and convince myself of it over and over again.

And then you're done.

So whatever happens with,

Interestingly enough,

That's exactly when the husband feels the energy and starts to come forward and starts to be more whatever he needs to be.

Because you also shifted now to this reality where you deserve a husband who respects you because people respect when they feel the light inside you.

So that's a vicious cycle.

I don't have the light inside me.

I need you.

Why?

I'm not going to respect you because you don't have the light inside you.

It's the sound of the vacuum.

Oh,

That's a good one.

It is.

I learned it in London.

I lived in London a bunch of years ago and they used to say Energy Hoover.

Energy Hoover.

Hoover is a vacuum company for those of you who don't know.

But the moment you hear the sound,

The vroom,

You back off.

You don't want any of your energy to get sucked up into that vacuum.

But yes,

Absolutely.

For sure.

And I have another question that'll lead us to the fifth point.

And I really like this question because it's honest and it's real.

And if all of us were this honest,

I think we'd be a lot happier.

The question is,

How do you love people who've deliberately hurt you?

How do you love people who've deliberately hurt you?

I would start with knowing the benefit of doing so.

We are all motivated by greed.

So let's use greed to our advantage.

If I can get to a place where I care about why I want you to be happy and successful,

Even despite the fact that you have ruined my life.

Or attempted to ruin my life.

I think that that's the difficulty is in the feelings,

Not in the reality.

Whatever.

Whatever that may be.

If I can achieve this,

The reward is so great.

It's greater than anything else.

I try to Jimmy myself,

Try to manipulate to get in my own life.

The gates will open.

The spiritual reward,

Which then becomes a physical reward,

Is so huge.

I am now motivated to forgive you and love you.

People do things when they know what's in it for them.

That's the bottom line.

Always understand that ego just means I'm chasing something that is smaller than what I'm meant to have.

Getting someone to say sorry to me,

Which does feel good,

Someone acknowledging that they hurt you,

Is actually smaller than the respect that the creator wants to give you.

The creator wants the whole world to respect you and love you.

The whole world.

Not that you should be doing it to get the world's respect,

But it's like you want to be blessed.

You want to feel the goodness of the light in your life.

This is why the system is so great because it's not like if you follow what we're saying then the next day the whole world loves you because then that would also defeat the purpose because you would still be holding on to your neediness.

If you could see that even by using Kabbalah immediately it worked.

Kabbalah works and doesn't work the way you want it to just right to make you also not feel too confident in the cause and effect.

It's kind of like in Kabbalah you do the right thing,

Then you get no result,

Then you're forced to have certainty,

And then it comes.

Just enough to make it hard so that everybody doesn't do it.

If everybody just did Kabbalah and the next day boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

All the miracles happen,

I mean,

Geez,

There's no gain anymore.

But David,

The way you're making it sound like we're doing it for our own benefit,

It sounds a little bit selfish.

It's okay.

It's this level of selfishness is okay.

I have to give my kids candy to do what I want when they're six,

But there is another level that comes after that,

But we can't teach that level until we get everybody to the first level.

I'll tell you something.

I think the answer would be different,

Not that it's incorrect.

David and I are both right.

I feel confident saying that.

To our material world ears,

Desiring blessings and light sound selfish,

But it's not.

The same way,

I'm not in a dark room right now,

But if I were standing in a dark room holding a candle,

That candle,

Even though it's mine,

The light itself is going to shine on David and every piece of equipment in this room,

Regardless of the fact that they're not holding the candle.

That's what the light of the creator is like.

The more light I have in my life,

The brighter the world is.

So I'm converting my hurt into love because that's the way to conduct the light in this world.

If you will,

It's the friction between the two rocks or the match and the,

I don't know what you call the thing that you strike.

The matchbox.

I don't know what you call that.

It's the teepee.

David thinks it's easy to give like 20 classes a week and still have original content.

The idea is that that resistance,

The fact that we're able to shift from hurt to love is what strikes the match.

That ignites the spark that lights up not only my life,

But the world around me.

So it is not selfish to be focused on turning on that light ever.

Our opponent,

That negative force within us,

The devil's advocate,

So to speak,

Wants us to think it's selfish so that we don't step into that place of love.

But stepping into that place of love,

I mean,

Imagine that.

You can be hurt and maybe this is a good exercise for everybody else.

Think about yourself when you're hurt,

When you feel hurt or when you're dwelling on something that happened in the past that hurt you.

Are you exuding love,

Care,

Compassion,

Kindness?

No.

Again,

You become a vacuum.

So it's to the benefit of every single person,

You first and foremost,

To turn that around,

To shift into that place of love.

And that's the fifth point on my list is share with the intention of connecting to the creator.

Not because you're going to get something in return,

Not because the unconditional love and this is really,

I'm being honest when I say this,

I really look at it like this.

I have the opportunity,

Let's say now we're going to go back home,

Different meetings and stuff like that.

Every opportunity that I'm presented with is not a match point between me and that person.

Oh,

Somebody needs me.

Now I'm going to be ahead of them.

It is,

I share,

This is my secrets of the trade.

I share and I get excited because I don't know where the return is going to come from.

I just know that I want to rack up all of these points because then I'm going to have constant pleasant boomerangs coming back at me all the time.

And I think last week I shared an example of something that I did with my kids in a similar respect,

But it's like the goal is to have a practice of putting so much good out there that all you ever get back is good.

And you're not waiting for the specific good to come from David or from the guy who you let into,

Right?

Imagine if every time you let someone in front of you in traffic,

You expected them to do something for you in return.

Now we do.

If we're honest with ourselves,

We expect the wave or the thank you and we get annoyed when the person doesn't acknowledge us.

Imagine that we as humanity recognize that when I love,

I'm not loving because I want something back from the other person.

I am loving because I want that light to permeate my life and the world.

There's no such thing as only I have light and going through our relationships,

Our interactions with others,

With that mindset,

That is a game changer.

All right.

I like it.

Wrap it up.

So I want to read,

To end this week's episode,

I want to read another page from Rethink Love,

Which is,

We've been using that as our,

What is it?

Our springboard.

Our springboard.

Stop it.

Our springboard for the last few weeks.

And next week we will actually have the author of the book on Weekly Energy Boost,

Monica Berg will be joining us live in the studio.

But I'm going to read for you from page 129,

Which is the section where it starts to talk about unconditional love.

So what she writes here is,

The purpose of love is to connect to the divine light,

Which is endless and more powerful than anything we can imagine.

This is something to look forward to and to work toward.

Love which is based on sharing is powerful and lasting.

And the more you share,

The greater your capacity to give.

The difference between ego-based love and unconditional love is that the latter has the ability to grow endlessly,

Always creating a deeper and stronger bond.

Unconditional love is not about power,

Wealth,

Or self-esteem,

Nor is it about what you get or do not get.

To love unconditionally is to value the characteristics in a person that are a manifestation of his or her core self.

The only expectations are to be heard,

Respected,

And treated with human dignity.

Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship,

And it is not only attainable,

It is the birthright for absolutely everybody.

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And let us know what your questions are,

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And if you have any guests you'd like to hear from.

And we will see you next week on the Weekly Energy Boost.