Flexibility Factor - Weekly Energy Boost

We’re all stubborn in one way or another. Whether it’s our attachment to an opinion or belief system, our need to control, or our refusal to give up. And these things can actually block our ability to be happy. In this episode, we’ll explore how we can let go of these behaviors and become more open and flexible with special guest Batya Solomon. Original airdate: 4/5/21. Episode 4 of 4.

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ali Sheva,

And I am here with both David Guillame and Batya Salomon by popular demand,

And we are here to share with you the intrinsic essentiality of being flexible.

And I want to be clear,

We're not talking about yoga flexible or gymnastics flexible,

We're talking about what's known on the streets as cognitive flexibility,

Which really translates into being able to change your mind and to change your mind relatively quickly.

So what that,

You know,

For some people that can't make decisions well,

You may be thinking,

Well,

Skip this.

That's not really what we're talking about.

What we're talking about,

And we've been talking about the entire month,

Is how we can increase our happiness by letting go,

Detaching from,

And even overcoming certain behaviors and patterns and beliefs that we have.

The Weekly Energy Boost is a seven-day spiritual weather forecast.

We do our best throughout the week to glean through the wisdom of Kabbalah so as to bring you the most powerful and practical principles and tools so that you can not only have a fabulous week,

But so that you can also have a fabulous life.

And we brought up in a previous episode the idea of one of the things that is a factor,

People who have been surveyed,

Happy people who have been surveyed,

One of the things we spoke about in a previous episode is that they have the resiliency.

They're able to bounce back from,

Or let's say move on from,

Challenges or adversity.

And this is a continuation of that idea because,

I mean,

I don't know,

A very simple question that everybody can ask themselves right now,

How many times during the day do I say,

Like,

Do I get frustrated with people who don't understand me,

Don't think like I think,

Don't believe what I believe,

Aren't open-minded to hear what I have to say?

Anytime you experience that,

You feel that way,

Kabbalistically speaking at least it's an indication that there is an opportunity for me to shift my mindset,

For me to think differently,

Do differently,

Feel differently.

And so that's the starting point for today's episode is where can each one of us stand to renovate our thoughts,

Actions or feelings,

Beliefs.

And I want to pose to my beloved colleagues on either side of me,

Now I'm between two ferns,

That the universe is basically giving us on a daily basis opportunities to evolve,

Elevate,

Transform and shine.

And more often than not,

It's our attachment,

Our fixed mindset as it's called actually in,

You want to call it psychology,

I think it's called psychology,

Fixed mindset versus growth mindset.

How flexible am I in my thinking?

How long does it take me to see from the other person's perspective or to walk a mile in their shoes?

I don't have to agree with them.

I just have to be able to be open enough to see that I am not the only person on the planet.

Go for it Batya,

I'm going to follow your lead here.

Okay,

Where should I begin?

So what makes us inflexible?

The first word that comes to my mind is fear.

Fear makes us inflexible.

I have a great story by the way,

Speaking of inflexible,

I think that really sums up or in this case gets the ball rolling.

I have a friend and was at her house the other day for dinner and everyone deserves to hear you,

Not just to see your beautiful face.

Is that better?

Much better.

Okay,

So I'm over my friend Susie's house and she makes this amazing pot roast and I noticed,

I said,

Susie,

If you.

.

.

Is this a real story?

I felt like you're making up the name Susie.

If I'm taking the lead,

David,

Then sit back and listen and enjoy it.

Enjoy it,

Enjoy it.

Enjoy the backseat.

Let me drive,

Let me drive.

So back to my story of Susie,

A real life story of Susie.

Not her real name probably,

But go.

Yes,

I'm changing names to protect the innocent,

That's me.

Anyway,

I'm at her house,

Makes an incredible pot roast and I noticed that when she makes the pot roast,

The ends of the pot roaster are cut off and they're in the pan.

I said,

Susie,

That's really odd.

I've never seen anybody cut the ends of the pot roast off when they cook the pot roast.

Why do you do that?

She says,

You know,

I learned how to cook for my mom and I always watched her when I was a little girl.

I watched her cook and that's the way she did it.

So I just followed what my mother did.

And I said,

Well,

I'm really curious.

Can you ask your mother,

You know,

Why did she do that?

And she said,

Okay.

So she had her mother call her grandmother.

So when her mother called her grandmother and said,

You know,

Mom,

When I was a little girl,

I watched you cook the pot roast and I did exactly everything you did and I noticed that you cut the ends of the pot roast off.

Tell me,

Why did you cut the ends of the pot roast off?

I never thought to ask you.

And she said,

Well,

Honey,

In those days the ovens were so small,

I couldn't fit the whole roast in.

You know,

It's,

I made that up by the way.

Thank you for ruining my story.

But the point is,

The point is that's classic inflexible thinking.

We just do.

We just robotic.

We see somebody else doing it.

We have no idea why.

We don't ask the why question.

So the difference between inflexible and flexible is why.

Why do we cut the ends of the pot roast off?

If I didn't even ask the question,

Right?

She would never even think to ask her mother or ask her grandmother.

And this is how we become,

I call inflexible thinking religious thinking.

We just follow along.

Unfortunately in our society,

We're really groomed to be inflexible thinkers.

If you think about in school,

Growing up going to school,

You know,

We usually sit in our classes alphabetically or we're online,

You know,

In my day anyway,

And you stood online,

Everybody was in size order.

It was like you had your place,

Shut up and do it.

Be a sheeple.

Let's just all just follow along.

Don't question.

Even our educational system is based on rote learning.

I'll say it,

You spit it back.

The kids who could spit it back the best get the highest marks.

We're really lacking that critical thinking.

This is really,

Really an important topic.

I think it's not discussed enough.

We don't really delve into it enough.

So I'm very excited to be here to discuss it with you.

I have a deep,

Deep,

A Kabbalistic way of looking at it before I do.

You want to add something to that Alicia?

No,

No,

No.

Go shoot.

We're always trying to incorporate some of our teachings into it.

And I think we've shared this on a prior show,

This whole idea of that,

That something can only be revealed when it's let go,

When it's pushed back.

It's the concept of returning light that we teach in our classes.

That when an idea or a situation or circumstance comes to us,

This is the direct light.

This is the universe giving it to us.

And sometimes we're so enamored by it and we feel like we want this energy and we want to just take it in.

And what happens is we've learned from our classes that when something comes to you and you just let it in,

Then it goes into a black hole.

And this is with relationships.

This is with ideas.

This is with something it comes to that you want to say to somebody.

You feel like you have the most brilliant thing to say or somehow you want to help someone or an idea or whatever and it comes to you and you just say it.

This,

According to Kabbalah,

Means that you're entering the world of chaos.

So we've learned you have to let go and you have to restrict the idea.

And it's funny because your husband actually this morning we were talking,

Amor Hachai,

We were talking and he asked me about something and an idea came to me and I wanted to share it with him.

But then I said,

According to Kabbalistic universal law,

If I share it now,

It's actually going to fall flat on its face.

So I said,

Let me think about it,

Even though I had something that I really wanted to share with him based on a question that he asked.

And I just said,

You know what,

I'm going to push it away and see what happens.

And as I'm walking out of the house,

It comes back in another way,

Like a stronger way.

And I thought,

I got to go back and tell him.

So then I went back and we had this amazing conversation.

But why is that powerful?

Because I've seen over and over again,

And I'm sure our audience can relate that every time you're attached to something,

An idea,

A thought,

A relationship,

Something that has to be a certain way and you believe it has to be,

All of the universal forces come to try to detach you from that.

That's so true.

It's very painful.

It's very painful.

That's why people go through pain.

If you really think about any pain that you've ever gone through,

Was the universe detaching you from something that you are attached to.

And the reason is because the creator,

In order for us to reach the highest version of ourselves,

The creator wants us to be channels.

And as soon as we're attached to something,

We're no longer a channel.

And sometimes the opposite negative effect of detaching from something is not having a desire.

So that's also wrong.

This is a deeper concept.

I'm sure you both have something to say about it,

But it's about having a big desire and being detached simultaneously,

Which is a very hard level of consciousness to be in.

Well,

There's a big,

I think there's a distinction between attachment and flexibility.

We all have attachments.

I think it's the inflexibility comes from when we're justifying our attachment.

I think that's where we get tripped up.

I have an attachment,

Right?

And we all have attachments because in this world,

In the world of gravity,

We're pulled into it.

So when we're.

.

.

Oh,

You want to hear a funny story?

This is actually a true story,

David,

Just to make sure we know.

Yesterday,

I lost my credit card at Trader Joe's.

Okay.

Paid for the purchase,

Left,

Got home.

And then I noticed my credit card was missing.

And what's my first initial reaction is to freak out.

And I actually,

Not to toot my own horn,

I was like,

I'm really shocked at my serenity about the whole thing.

Oh,

My credit card's missing.

Okay.

Restrict,

Pause.

What a pleasure.

Where's my credit card?

We can go back,

Retrace all the steps.

I called the supermarket,

Told them about my credit card.

They didn't find it.

Then I went with my son.

We searched the car.

We went back to the supermarket and we asked about the credit card and she said,

Yeah,

Somebody just called.

I said,

Yes,

That was me.

I called you.

And I was shocked at my own willingness to let go of it.

Yeah,

I was looking for my credit card,

But I think if this was years ago,

I would have been having probably a meltdown and a half and reactively calling the credit card company,

Et cetera,

And so forth.

As it turned out,

A funny thing happened about this whole thing.

The lack of being reactive to it and just flexibly going along with it,

We gave somebody a ride back to who needed a ride to that particular supermarket.

So we did an act of sharing,

Gave that person a ride to the supermarket.

So that's one act of sharing we did.

When we're in the supermarket and we went to the cashier,

The person at the cashier,

We happened to know who said,

Oh,

Can I give you a package to give to someone who instead of making an extra trip,

Could you take the package with me because you live next door to that certain someone?

So I said,

Sure.

And then something else happened.

It was like three acts of sharing that took place.

Oh,

Then we,

In the garage,

On the way leaving the supermarket,

We ran into someone who could give a ride to the first person we dropped off at the supermarket.

So what was really amazing were these coincidences of these opportunities to share with all these different people because they'd lost the credit card.

And what happened?

We went back to the car.

We left the car.

I said,

Okay,

I let go.

I'm not going to try to force a situation that's not going to happen.

My son takes one last sweep of the car and lo and behold,

The credit card fell down the side of the well of the seat that he happened to catch a glimpse of with the phone.

So it was there the whole time.

It was if the universe was using us to do these three acts of sharing in this whole trip.

It was amazing.

But imagine if I would have held onto my reactivity and I would have been just so inflexible about the card and maybe calling the company and feeling like a victim of life.

I never left the house.

Now I'm going to have to wait for the credit card,

A new one,

All of these other things could have happened from this act of inflexibility.

So what a perfect opportunity to practice what we teach.

You know that it's real when you get an opportunity to practice what you teach.

Yeah.

Your story reminded me of a similar story.

We'll just keep sharing stories also until we resolve all these issues.

I remember about 10 years ago,

I also lost my wallet and freaking out because I think I had to go to the airport.

I was like,

I'm going to the airport and you don't have your wallet and I'm sure you've all experienced something like this before.

And I'm frantically running around the building.

This is in the Cabela Center in New York.

And one of the teachers,

I don't think he realized it was going to the airport or I was missing my wallet.

He said,

Oh,

Can you help me?

I'm about to go teach a class.

Can you go get my notebook from the fourth floor?

I look at him,

I'm like,

Is this for real right now?

And I said,

Of all the people,

Go get your notebook.

He's like,

Yeah,

Please,

I'm going to go teach.

And then I realized,

You know what?

I have like 10 minutes.

I got to get out of here.

I'm just going to restrict.

It's so illogical.

I'm just going to let go and go get my colleague his notebook for his class.

So I go to the fourth floor.

These elevators are real slow in New York.

So I go to the fourth floor.

I go get the notebook.

And of course,

Wallet.

I just buy the notebook.

And I realized what was powerful about that.

To me,

It was just a message from the creator that the creators are always sending us messages of where to go and how to find things.

And as long as we're open,

Especially in times of a lot of pressure,

A lot of stress,

A lot of what you think it should be.

And you're just open.

You just got to be open because the creator is carving a path for you.

And if you're not open or flexible,

You may miss out on that path.

And eventually you'll get there the same way.

Eventually I'm going to find my wallet or eventually I'll have to get a new license or whatever it is.

But there's so much,

So much pain that you don't have to go through as long as you're always in a state of letting go.

I think that this conversation is uniquely important to the time that we're in.

Forget about the fact that the Kabbalistically this month and all of our tendencies to put our head to the wall is heightened.

But in 2021,

With all of the reasons to be fixated on what you believe,

What's right,

What's just,

What's fair,

What's important,

It seems to be all of those issues are on fire right now.

And one of the.

.

.

Batya and I were actually studying last week and we were going over a section in the writings of Rav Ashlag that David and I often bring up.

We often joke very lightly about it or not even joke.

We bring it up in a very lightweight,

But there's a really profound teaching within it.

The whole idea of,

Are you a builder?

Are you a destroyer?

The.

.

.

We often talk about it in the show.

Where are you coming from?

That's one of the questions that.

.

.

The way we ask that question is,

Are you a builder?

Are you a destroyer?

Are you in that relationship?

You're having an argument with someone.

Are you trying to be right or are you trying to be light?

And the essence of the teaching is that many times in our quest for truth,

For convincing the other person to see our perspective,

We know it's truth.

That's what Rav Ashlag emphasizes is,

It's your flag of truth.

You believe it to be correct.

That's a combination of correct and right.

You know it to be true.

It is your truth.

And in your quest to convince others,

You engage in acts of destruction.

You throw kindness out the window.

You throw tolerance.

You throw peace.

You throw love out the window because you are right.

And if you open any form of media today,

I would say,

The biggest thing that's going on there now is,

I am right.

Look at how right I am.

Let me convince you how right.

Let me show you the facts.

And I don't care if I am hurting you,

Making you feel uncomfortable,

Upsetting you.

I am correct.

Even if they're not facts.

But that's what I'm saying.

It's like your facts,

But that's really their opinion.

Exactly.

As facts.

Exactly.

And the,

The,

I read something online.

I thought it was so beautiful.

Now I wish I saved it.

Maybe I can find it,

But it said something to the effect of,

Um,

Be kind.

You can be kind to someone that you don't like.

Don't let someone else cause you to throw what's important to you out the window.

And I thought that that was such a beautiful statement because that's essentially,

I I'll bring up a,

An example.

It's a very,

It came from one of the classes that I was in recently.

Uh,

I might've even shared it before,

But it's just too funny.

Some,

A student was walking down the street talking on his phone with his,

You know,

With earphones on and having a very heated discussion.

He was outdoors,

He was wearing a mask and someone jogged by him and said,

Why are you wearing a mask?

Do you think it's going to help?

And he was in this intense conversation with his siblings.

So he couldn't really,

You know,

Take his earphones off and engage in the conversation with the total stranger.

But what he managed to do was to scream at him.

It's an act of kindness.

Now look at the irony in that,

Right?

He's,

He's screaming at a total stranger who interrupted him and screaming.

It's an act of kindness.

I hope he doesn't,

I mean,

He may be listening and I hope it doesn't mind me sharing it on the show,

But that is a perfect example of how we allow what we believe,

What,

What,

What to us is reality to create destruction,

To create damage in the world around us.

And the reason we're bringing it up this week is also because for,

For each one of us to watch ourselves in this time,

It's,

It's the time that a period this particular week is a time that has an unusual energy of what the Kabbalists call judgment,

The tendency for all of us to act harsh without calculating,

Without weighing the options,

Without thinking about our words before they come out of our mouths.

So one of the things that we're suggesting this week is for everybody to be very mindful of where am I coming from?

How can I open my viewfinder even wider?

Not that I necessarily need to believe the other person,

Not that I need to vote for who they vote for or,

Or live like they live.

Being open-minded doesn't mean I am telling you,

You are right.

It means telling you,

It means telling the universe we can coexist without being identical.

I also realized no one really cares about my opinion.

And I think about it like,

It's different when somebody pays for a class or goes out of their way to come watch us on a show or listen to our podcast.

There's,

There's been several layers of intent of,

Of wanting to be part of everything that we're doing.

However,

When,

When that intent hasn't been established,

When that desire hasn't been established,

I will almost never,

Never share what I think,

What I feel.

I remember we were at a dinner party,

It was all like Kabbalah students and there were these two people,

Nothing about Kabbalah and there's me.

And all my students were like,

What do you think they were trying to do?

Tell these two people,

You have to,

You have to talk to David now,

You have to ask him questions about Kabbalah,

Kabbalah.

And I'm like,

These,

These two people have shown no intent.

They're top of funnel as we call their top of funnel buyers here.

You know,

They,

They haven't really shown or engaged.

And every time they started talking about Kabbalah,

We change the subject and talk about their lives or their whatever.

And then,

You know,

Finally,

Even towards the end,

So what,

What is Kabbalah?

Even then I'm like,

I don't really feel your intent for me to share my opinion.

I don't really feel the desire.

It's just curiosity.

So let's just talk about you still.

So I'm constantly pushing it back and I'm showing this because I've learned that if you're sharing your opinion without several layers of intent being shown to hear your opinion,

It's also just chaos and it doesn't matter.

You're just talking for yourself.

You're not really talking to help or add value to somebody else.

Let's talk about inflexibility versus flexibility.

What makes a person inflexible and what makes it,

You know,

I'm thinking,

You know,

If a lot of students here,

A lot of people who are watching the podcast or listening,

They're already students of Kabbalah and you know,

In the Kabbalah Center,

We do a lot of crazy things.

We do things that really push ourselves to the next level and that gets be very uncomfortable.

You know,

So someone's inflexible.

They like comfort.

We like to be comfortable.

We all like to be comfortable.

I don't like to be uncomfortable.

You like to be uncomfortable?

I know the universe is listening,

So I'm going to say yes,

I love to be uncomfortable.

Right.

Okay.

All right.

Anyway,

I'll be honest here.

I love comfort and I don't like discomfort and flexibility is the way we exercise our mental muscles,

Our emotional muscles,

Not to mention our physical muscles to stretch ourselves in different ways to become better human beings.

And so,

But what happens is because we love comfort,

We look for justification to stay comfortable and that's where I think the flexibility starts to harden and goes away.

It diminishes to the extent that we hold onto not changing an opinion,

Not changing a habit,

Not changing our world when this world is all about change.

The world is ever flowing.

The planet is ever flowing.

Anything that's static starts to actually stink or disintegrate.

And let's talk about what could we do to help our listeners to improve their flexibility.

Well,

You guys told personal stories.

I'm going to tell a personal story and this is relatively recent.

It's not a dramatic story.

Is this a story I witnessed on Saturday?

No,

It is not.

Okay.

I was going to share that on your behalf too,

But go ahead.

You can share that later.

So I have this friend and we have a thing.

Okay.

This is where the inflexibility begins.

We had this thing where we were like,

I don't understand how everybody does X.

We do Y,

Right?

And there was a certain degree of superiority we felt as we said,

We do Y.

Look at everybody doing,

I just can't do X,

Right?

Fill in the X and Y.

I promise you,

Whoever is listening,

You have this.

Even if you don't have a friend that you say it with or you feel it with,

You think it and you do it.

I can't believe those Xers.

Y is where it's at.

Y is the right way to go.

So it happened a few months ago.

We had that similar conversation again.

I can't understand how people do it.

It's just not right.

It doesn't feel right.

And I went home and I was like,

What's wrong with Y?

And this is the answer to Batya's question.

I started to think,

Why am I holding on to Y?

What is it about Y that makes me feel better than everyone?

How does it make me better than any?

Why is it the better way to be?

And the conclusion was,

It worked for me 25 years ago.

It was right,

Quote unquote.

It served me then.

And for 25 years,

I never questioned it once.

I didn't ask myself,

Why do I believe this?

Is it still true?

How did I come to this conclusion?

I feel like it's almost like a scientific analysis.

How did I get to this conclusion?

What is the evidence that supports it?

And like Batya's saying,

There's got to be a degree of comfort.

It serves me somehow.

It did.

I felt better than everybody else.

That was enough to keep me engaging in a habit that I actually,

Once I started to ask myself the question,

I don't like it anymore.

25 years ago,

I liked it.

We all liked it.

We all did it.

It sounds like drugs.

I'm not talking about drugs or any substance abuse,

But it's no longer for me.

And moving over to the Y team didn't change anything except I'm happier.

Right.

Because you'd let go of that heavy stuck energy.

But it's so subtle.

I am no longer that part that,

That served me being an exer,

Having that ex feeling serve me.

It actually didn't,

It was hurting me.

And once I released that belief,

And one of the things I was reading a lot about this idea of cognitive flexibility this week,

One of the,

One of the things that people,

Experts suggest to increase cognitive flexibility is to question your morals,

To look at why you cut the pot roast ends off,

To look at why you do X instead of Y.

And if you really go back,

I feel for a lot of us,

We're going to realize that the reason that we do those things is because like Batya said,

That's how we were raised.

That's what we were taught.

We watched,

We're modeling behavior that we once witnessed.

And my son,

My oldest son actually said something very funny.

He said,

You know,

He's,

I'm,

He's at the age where I can recommend inappropriate TV and movies to him.

Finally.

So I guess he was,

What age is that?

He's 23 soon.

Right.

Like he's,

He's the mature one.

So I don't know.

I don't think he listens to the show,

So it's okay.

We can talk about it.

So he's like,

Do you realize how inappropriate the things that you watched when you were younger are now?

Where does the inappropriate come from?

It's mostly political incorrectness,

Right?

Racism,

Chauvinism,

You know,

Gender,

What do you call it?

Association.

Like you,

You know,

You could say those things in the eighties and the nineties and the seventies,

But you can't talk that way anymore.

It's like he said,

It's amazing that they don't censor those movies.

Like it's,

You're embarrassed you're watching it.

I'm like,

I'm embarrassed to watch it.

So the idea that those beliefs,

They were not only fixed back then,

They were acceptable.

You could make fun of them.

You could,

But they're fixed now too.

Well,

Yes,

But,

But the,

The idea that as we evolve,

As we grow,

As the decades change,

What's acceptable,

Quote unquote changes.

What we're suggesting today is that you look at your footage,

Your,

You know,

The soundtrack in your mind and assess what's outdated.

What's not serving me.

What's I am so intent on doing things this way.

I'm not even open to see that.

What,

Guess what?

There's wireless now.

Did you know that there's wireless internet?

I no longer have to be plugged into a wall.

That's really what we're saying.

People think that the only way you can get an intern at the,

The internets is by putting a disc into your computer and having the dialer dial up.

That's the way we've done it.

That's the way we're always going to do it.

No,

There's wireless there's other ways to do things and that open mindedness will set you free.

It's interesting.

Sometimes I I'm 37 and I'll talk to people who are much older than me and I'll share with them some of the things that I find are working and that can help be successful.

And they're kind of like looking at me with the skepticism.

Oh,

How do you know,

How does this really work and how does that really work?

And I'm,

And I find it that I'm like,

Hey,

You know,

Be open.

This is working.

You need to catch up with the times.

So then I'm thinking to myself,

I am that way.

I,

I,

I said,

I don't want to be that way to the next generation.

So sometimes I'm,

I'm spending time with the,

With those younger than me,

Maybe in their twenties.

And I'm basically thinking to myself,

Guys,

Let's assume that everything I'm doing or I know is wrong.

I want you to tell me what's working,

What's working in social media,

What's working out there.

What are people listening to?

What are people attracted to?

And they're sharing these concepts and these platforms and these ideas.

And I'm like,

First thing I'm thinking is really that's,

That's what's working.

That's what's,

That's what you're monetizing.

But I need to actually let go of completely whatever I think has worked for the last six years.

And I need to listen to this next generation and I,

And I shared this with everybody because everyone's looking for mentors and we look for people who are experienced,

Who have gone through stuff and you need to do that.

But when you're looking for ideas and you're looking for how to connect to,

You know,

Whatever you're looking to connect to,

I also would recommend that you speak to people much younger than you and totally delete what you think is right.

Because if people are excited about something,

There must be a reason why.

And I remember that that Game of Thrones,

When it first came out,

Everybody was like,

You got to see this.

And I'm like,

I don't like sci-fi,

Dragons.

This is probably really stupid.

But then at some point I'm realizing everybody likes it.

There must be a reason.

And it's just my ego that doesn't want to watch it.

So then I started watching it.

And of course it's,

It's my favorite show.

It's my favorite show of all time.

My ego is the reason I haven't seen it either.

That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying.

Because if here's the thing,

If a lot of people like something,

You should probably learn why they like it.

And that's the same thing with like cryptocurrency.

And that's the same thing with,

Um,

But that doesn't mean you have to like it just because you don't have to adopt it.

David is saying to learn about it,

To see what's on the other side.

The secret is when a lot of people like something,

You should find out why,

Because it's not this.

If there's a,

If there's a movement behind someone liking something,

It means there's an energy there.

It means the light of the creator is there.

Now you could say,

Oh,

But it's stupid.

Oh,

It's going to fade eventually.

But you should at least learn what that energy is and find a way to connect to it.

Otherwise you will be left behind.

So what happens if you're left behind?

So what happens if you're left behind?

So what,

What difference does that make?

What value do you have about being left behind?

If a person comes to me and says,

I don't want to be left behind.

I want to be,

I want to be successful.

I don't want to be behind the state of mind.

Well,

Let's put it this way left,

Left behind in the way I say it is you're eventually going to have to get there.

So you can either get there proactively by letting go of your ego and learning,

Or you're going to,

For example,

Let's say,

Let's say racism or something.

Let's say you have a belief system.

This is a stark example,

But let's say you have a belief system.

Eventually you're going to have to get there because where society goes,

You,

You,

You can't just say,

I screw this.

That's a cancer cell.

I'm going to do my own thing.

I'm going to be my own way because the creator is moving society towards a state that is more similar to the light of the creator.

It's a sharing one.

It's one where you,

Your negativity is going to be revealed to the public.

Your,

Your agenda,

Your intention is going to be felt.

And if you don't cleanse it,

It's going to be known.

50 years ago,

You could get away with stuff like this.

I believe,

And this is what I've heard.

I'm not speaking from a personal example.

So the universe is moving towards a certain energy.

And of course some people are implementing that in a reactive way,

But what I'm saying is learn about it.

Otherwise you'll be pushed or shoved to learn about it or get there eventually in a different way.

What do you think that the,

You know,

We learned in the center that where most people are not looking is where the most light is,

Where most people are not going.

I don't know.

I think what you just said has some merit,

But I think it could also be very misunderstood in that,

You know,

I could almost hear someone's thinking that as,

Oh,

Like we should just go along with every,

Everybody's watching Game of Thrones.

I'm going to watch Game of Thrones.

I don't like Game of Thrones,

But I'm going to watch it because I want to find out what everybody else likes about Game of Thrones.

But isn't there room for people who don't like Game of Thrones,

With all due respect to Game of Thrones,

You know,

That have a different opinion because you know,

What's really interesting about life and rules and people following the rules of society or social rules is that they're the rule followers and then they're the rule makers.

And usually the rule makers don't follow those rules.

All right,

So here's my point.

Thank you for bringing it up.

My point is you don't have to like Game of Thrones,

But you have to understand why other people like it.

For example,

You may tell your friends about,

Let's say you love Kabbalah and Kabbalah has changed your life.

How annoying is it when you tell somebody,

Look,

It's changed my life.

It's changed all these people's lives.

Come to a class.

And they're like,

Yeah,

You know,

I don't,

You should say,

Wait,

If everybody likes it,

I should,

I should at least learn about it and see if I like it or I don't like it.

You don't have to follow people,

But you have to realize there's a reason why someone is successful in a certain area and someone is not.

But to say,

I don't want to learn about it,

I don't want to deal with it,

I know even without testing that I know more about it.

That's the problem.

That's the ego.

That's what I'm saying.

And in the same way our teacher says the things that people don't pay attention to,

Like for example,

I mean,

I don't want to go,

There are certain spiritual tools that we use that may be the broader,

Very powerful,

The broader religious community doesn't.

However,

What we're saying is,

Okay,

Even if the religious community would learn about it,

Then they can choose to see if they want to use it or not.

But there is a point where we say,

I don't even want to learn about it.

I don't want to deal with it.

Well,

That comes from,

Let's say,

An unexamined,

Inflexible attitude about change.

I don't like change.

That's all we're saying here.

That's all we're saying.

So watch the first five episodes of Game of Thrones,

Because you need to watch five,

The same way you need to listen to the first four classes of Kabbalah 1 to see its impact.

And someone says,

I heard one class.

You know,

It's nice.

I've heard this before.

No,

No,

No.

First four classes.

You need four classes.

And then if your life doesn't change,

Then walk away.

There's,

Yeah,

I agree that you shouldn't waste your time with it.

Speaking of which,

One of the ways to know whether you are fixed or flexible in your thinking is to ask yourself right now in this moment,

And I mentioned it before,

But I want to make it a thing now.

Do I want to be right or do I want to be light?

And there's a difference,

Right?

One of the first things we talk about in that class that David mentioned is what are the qualities,

Basically,

In order to reveal more light in the world,

In order to have more light in my life,

In order to feel a greater connection to that spark of light that is my soul,

I have to,

No,

I don't have to,

It's highly recommended,

To emulate the qualities of the creator,

The qualities of the light.

So does the creator force anyone to think a certain way or to behave a certain way?

Couldn't theoretically,

The creator of all that is,

Make everybody the same and everybody do the same and have there be only one way to worship,

One way to be healthy,

One way to speak,

But no,

We live in a universe that is diversified and specialized and there are no two snowflakes and no two souls that are alike.

So in the moment that I am able to check myself,

And maybe the first part of being able to check myself is pausing and being able to say,

Okay,

Wait a second,

What's happening right now in this?

Sometimes it's a visceral feeling where you feel yourself getting hot and your heart starts racing because the other person isn't listening,

Isn't agreeing,

Isn't open.

The way that I know if I'm fixated is I feel the other person isn't listening.

When I feel the other person isn't listening,

I realize,

Wait a second,

I'm forcing the water into the cup.

I'm the person who needs to pause and say,

Wait,

Does the light force itself into anyone's life?

No.

That's one of the most important things that we learn in spirituality is that it is a choice.

It cannot be coerced into anybody or anything.

It is up to us to bring spirituality to an experience,

To a conversation,

To even an argument.

And the moment that you're able to pause and say,

Okay,

Wait a second,

This is not what I wanted.

This is not why I started this conversation.

This is not why I was willing to engage in this conversation.

How can I elevate what's going on right now?

How can I bring us closer?

How can I help the other person feel the light right now?

It may just be me saying,

You know what?

Let's agree to disagree.

I see that this is not going anywhere and I love you.

Maybe I don't even love you.

This is not going anywhere and I don't want to waste time.

You're a good person.

I appreciate your opinion.

Just stop it.

Like in the words of the great Bob Newhart,

Just stop it.

We don't go there.

There is no.

.

.

Actually,

I think I brought this up a couple of years ago,

But I had a student that was very against something going on in the political system.

And she told me that she's so angry these days.

She doesn't know why she's so angry and everybody's upsetting her.

And I said,

Well,

What are you doing differently?

She said,

Well,

I've gotten involved in this campaign.

Okay,

So what we concluded was that she's angry at the people who don't think like her and she's trying to convince them via social media posts to believe the way she believes.

So I said to her,

Has anybody radically changed their mind from a social media post?

Radically?

I don't mean,

Hmm,

Maybe.

I mean,

You know what?

She's right.

I'm going blue or I'm going red or I'm a.

.

.

It's not one post.

And I guess that's maybe the reason why people post 700 times.

And she said,

You know what?

You're so right.

I am so much angrier since I went on this quest,

Since I made this my business to change people's minds.

And she decided that she was going to stop it because she's happier.

She is more light-like.

She has a better chance of changing somebody's mind,

Not by her convincing words or articles or posts,

But in her behavior,

In her mindset and in her embodiment of everything that it means,

Every way that you could define what the light is.

The light is not going to force you to think a certain way.

The light is not going to force you to do anything.

We are here with beings.

We are here as beings with free will.

And it is up to us to choose daily,

All day long to be like the light.

I would love your opinion on this,

Batya and Alisha.

Someone from Zimbabwe,

A listener from Zimbabwe actually wrote on my thread,

I feel so shocked today.

I shared something and this is along the lines of what we're talking about.

I shared something and to be honest with you,

I expected them,

This other person,

To be happy with the information I shared.

I was also asking for them to help me.

They responded in so much anger.

What is this?

What is this that I was confronted with?

I genuinely was trying to put humor into the situation.

I was generally trying to help and they got angry with me.

What did I do wrong?

Oh,

I'll take this one.

I know.

So the outer world reflects our inner world.

When we don't examine where our true agenda is and what it's really all about,

And really what it does is there's really two energy frequencies just happening in this world.

It's either love or fear.

We're either one or the other.

So when we're in a fear of getting out of something messing with my comfort zone,

Something messing with what I already know to be true,

And it takes a tremendous amount of effort to change from something I already know to be true to something I don't know.

That's really a big piece of this.

That's ego.

Ego's a,

Oh no,

I cannot bear to.

.

.

I can't handle the judgment,

The inner critic voice that's going to point out what's wrong with me.

So I'm going to build a castle wall around,

A brick wall around my heart filled with bricks of justification of why I'm feeling this way or why I'm right in what I'm.

.

.

In what I'm standing for.

Now what happens,

As we know,

The way energy works is that the external world will bounce back at us.

So if I'm forcing a point,

Forcing a point,

Forcing a point,

Not because I'm self-examining,

Where's that point coming from?

I'm coming from lack and somewhere in my life.

And I want you,

Other person,

To not point out to me my lack.

I want you to agree with my own strategy,

My reactive life strategy of building this wall so either it's my way or the highway.

And so one of the most magnanimous acts of spiritual growth and sharing is to take responsibility and say,

Wow,

I'm really coming from a place of insecurity.

I'm coming from a place of fear.

I'm afraid to change my opinion.

I'm afraid to change my.

.

.

Where I stand in the world.

And so it feels like a much more logical strategy just.

.

.

I'm just going to keep building one justification after another.

I'm going to look for people who agree with me because people look for other people for agreement,

Really,

Or somebody who is a staunch whatever.

They're really strong and they're pushing that point and they're pushing.

.

.

Why are you pushing a point?

Because deep down inside,

I don't even know if that's my truth either.

But I'm going to keep justifying that lack and try to fill that hole and I'm going to force everybody like a black hole,

Suck everybody else's energy into it.

It's a wonderful way to destroy your self-esteem,

Fantastic way to destroy any relationship in your life,

Especially the most intimate ones.

A great way to destroy your career as well,

Like example,

Flexibility and knowing what the market will bear or knowing what the mainstream is interested in if you want to monetize your life.

But let's not fool ourselves.

Where am I coming from?

What is my why?

Why am I holding this position?

And is that position working for me?

Because if it's not,

You know what?

It's so simple.

Drop it.

You just said something really powerful I want to highlight.

It was very subtle,

But I want to just highlight that real quick.

When people are really fanatic about their opinion or they want to tell you something or give you something and they're insistent about it and they're not flexible and they have an attachment to it,

Oftentimes it's because they themselves are not convinced and they're trying to convince themselves.

Well,

They don't know the why.

They're going to start thinking.

They're insecure about it themselves and they're trying to fill their own hole.

But the justification is I don't know the why.

I'm embarrassed to even ask myself why.

Why do I cut the ends of the pot roast?

Shut up and just do it because that's the way it's always been done.

And that's where we get ourselves a lot of help.

All those pathetic whiers who aren't X-ing.

Our audience needs to know that when it is a sign of great insecurity to the outside world,

When you are attached to something and you're not internally in that calm space,

It can be seen,

It can be felt.

You feel it in other people.

You feel something's not right.

We all do.

We all do.

What will people think of me if I change my stance?

They always see me this way.

Well,

What if I just drop it and I'm that way?

What will people say?

I have to tell you that nobody has made a peep about me letting go of X.

No one noticed.

It is completely unnoticeable externally.

It is only the internal.

I am a better person and therefore everyone around me benefits from the fact that I shifted without them even knowing I made a single shift.

Wrap up the show for us.

That's how we change the world,

My friends.

That's how we change the world.

So on that note,

Thank you so much for Batya.

Thank you so much,

Batya.

That was me talking to God.

God,

Thank you so much for Batya.

Batya,

Thank you so much for being here.

It's always a pleasure.

Thank you for having me.

And David,

Nice to see you this morning as well.

Don't want to leave you out of the conversation.

Thanks for being flexible.

Thanks.

Yeah.

It couldn't have been a better episode to ask for everyone to be flexible with us.

Thank you so much for listening and we will see you next week on the Weekly Energy Boost.