Finding Inner Strength - Weekly Energy Boost

At times the pressures of life become so overwhelming it seems there is no way out of the darkness. So, what do you do when you feel like you just can’t handle it anymore and negative thoughts take over? In this episode, we’ll share the Kabbalistic secrets for overcoming distress and discuss how we can unleash our inner power with clinical psychologist Dr. Richard Oelberger. Episode 4 of 4. Original airdate: 3/8/21

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I am here this morning with both David Guillaume and Dr.

Richard Olberger,

Who I will introduce in a moment.

For those of you who are joining us for the first time,

Weekly Energy Boost is a seven-day spiritual energy forecast.

We use that forecast to share with you the most practical and powerful wisdom and tools to navigate these coming seven days,

Given the opportunities laid out to us in the wisdom of Kabbalah.

And inevitably,

We end up sharing life lessons and tools that can serve you 365 days a year.

So every day or every week this month,

We've been focusing on the navigation of the emotional terrain that's been challenging for so many of us,

The ups and downs and how to keep afloat despite what's going on around us,

Also what's going on inside us.

And that's really where our focus is today.

Today's topic is finding inner strength.

And I'm sure that all of us who are listening have had moments where we have risen above and triumphed and overcome,

And yet there are those other times where we feel we are barely treading water.

And we're here to talk about those times and how to use them to ride the waves of life.

That's why we brought Richard here to share with us today.

I know Richard,

I think,

For probably 25 years?

20?

Well,

It's up to 20,

But it's up.

We broke the two-decade barrier.

That's a long time.

And of course,

Richard and I met.

We know each other through our work at the Kabbalah Center,

But have a lot of common grounds.

And one of the great things about Richard is he has somehow been able to marry his lovely wife,

Of course,

But also the common bonds between both the mental health or the clinical way of looking at mental health,

As well as the spiritual concepts that we learn that keep our mindset,

Our emotional state,

And also our energy,

Which is a combination of all those things,

In the highest frequency possible.

And I look forward,

I've been looking forward to having you here for quite some time.

I think you had a podcast before podcasts were a thing.

Also,

We'll share more about how you can learn about what Richard does.

But first and foremost,

We brought Richard here to talk about this because it is one of his passions,

And it's something that he's been working with people on for also decades.

I don't even know where to begin.

Well,

I wanted to start with why people,

It sounds like everybody would want inner strength,

But what are some of the spiritual ramifications of not having inner strength that we can start with so we can get motivated and inspired?

And then I want to hear from Richard,

Practically the tools that he gives to,

What's his experience,

And the tools that he gives to his client base to be able to achieve that inner power.

So we talk about it a lot,

That our soul came to this world to achieve a spiritual purpose,

And that is to be able to receive all that the light of the Creator wants to share.

That manifests as the physical joys of life and also the mental joys and fulfillment and whatnot.

We talk about it a lot.

So the problem is that when a person doesn't have a spiritual structure in their life,

Where there are rules that they follow in the same way that we have a society with laws that if we break those laws,

We go to jail,

We have spiritual laws that most people don't know about.

And as a result,

Consciously or unconsciously,

We're breaking these spiritual laws on a daily basis.

And then we have chaos.

We have things not go our way.

We have relationships that sour and financial situations that go backwards.

And then we wonder,

Well,

Why did that happen?

And we don't know because we don't know the spiritual structure.

We start blaming people.

We blame ourselves.

And it's a vicious cycle that only leads to the breaking of more spiritual laws.

Can you give us an example of one spiritual law that people don't realize they're breaking?

So one spiritual law is this idea that when the soul came to this world,

It came with a mission,

Which is to transform the negativity that it holds onto.

And where this negativity came from and what negativity exactly.

We speak about that more in detail in our other classes.

But let's say that each one of us comes with spiritual baggage that we must transform.

And based on what that spiritual baggage is,

Some people come to this world that in their physical DNA,

Physical and spiritual DNA,

There's addiction.

Or they come to this world where they have anger.

They have the need to be loved by everyone.

They have this need for approval.

Sometimes you don't even know where it comes from.

But it's embedded within the soul and then that soul chooses certain parents,

Certain environment,

That guy or that girl that you randomly met in high school.

It wasn't random.

The soul gravitated towards that person.

The soul actually predetermined meeting that person.

Because all of these circumstances are essential for uprooting and bringing to your attention the spiritual baggage that needs to be transformed.

So that's a spiritual rule.

If you do not transform your spiritual baggage,

You will keep attracting chaotic circumstances which will show you your deficiencies.

And if we keep blaming the outside,

It becomes very painful and the universe starts putting more and more pressure on us.

But that's a spiritual rule.

So now to bring it to the topic of today,

There is another spiritual law.

But because the Creator wants each one of us to be independent and build self-love and self-confidence,

Which leads to inner strength,

Every time we become needy or dependent on a person or something physical or an energy on the outside,

Meaning that I need that thing to feel good about myself,

I need that thing to be happy and without that thing I would be lost.

I wouldn't know what to do.

Every time that happens,

There's a spiritual law that kicks in.

The Kabbalistic terminology for it is,

It's like a big bang,

It's called sim sum.

And that thing that you're needy of must leave you.

So think of your life and think of every time you've been dependent on a person,

On a career,

On a reputation,

Most likely at some point that thing left you and had to leave you.

Because the spiritual law is that when you use something as a crutch,

The crutch must be taken away.

And that is another reason why it behooves us to build our internal strength,

To build light within us so that we can go out to the world as givers as opposed to having these secret agendas where we're trying to always take from somebody but we mask it as,

I care about you,

I'm trying to help,

I'm trying to save,

I'm trying to add value.

But deep down inside,

It's because we have something inside of us that needs filling and it's not filled and so we're taking energy from others.

Richard,

When someone comes to you and says,

I can't handle this,

I'm overwhelmed,

There's no,

I don't see the end of the tunnel,

How do you help them turn that around?

Thank you for asking.

And by the way,

I do have to add that I think my first Kabbalah in psychology book came from Eva Crow.

My mom.

Yes.

So I do want to give credit where credit is due.

But there's so much to what David is saying.

The first thing is when I just spent the last two months at Cedars-Sinai working with the physicians on the front line who've been helping so many people over the last year and tying into what David is saying that when there's information that is kind of egosyntonic and there's things that's egodistonic.

So when someone says I'm a physician,

I step up for people.

I give my all.

I'm here to rise to the occasion.

This information,

It all fits with my ego,

Right?

And sometimes being a high producer,

A high performer,

We keep taking on more because it resonates with who I am.

And yet at the same time,

We know that too much of a good thing,

Too much money,

Too much work,

Too much of a great relationship can push you into this place of overwhelm or stress.

So the first thing I find that my work is,

Is helping people develop the permission,

The space,

A language to slow down and even go inside.

A lot of times the most successful of human beings or people in a relationship don't take time to ask themselves what they need.

They don't take time to figure out why are they reacting?

Why is it causing pain?

Where might the space be?

Where are those moments?

It may not be that they can take,

They can't leave their job right now because they're needed on the front line.

And where are some spaces that we can build a little bit more capacity,

Whether it be through breath,

Boundaries,

Certain things which you would think are natural to us may really be underdeveloped because we're so busy performing.

Can you give an example of somebody you work with so people can relate to it?

Somebody you work with,

This is what they're doing,

This is probably what they should be doing.

So for instance,

We know,

Like you give the example of the ER physician or the physician on the front line,

That they are probably repeatedly turning off the message to slow down or disconnect or go inside and take care of themselves.

Because they're needed.

They're needed,

It's important,

Right?

We have all the right reasons right now,

Every single demand.

And this is not just happening to ER physicians,

Right?

All of us are being taxed.

But if we stay with the doctor example,

So there is a message to slow down and take care of yourself,

But it keeps getting,

You keep pushing the body over the level of need to recover or restore or reset.

Maybe there's a voice that I need to slow down or I'm having some symptoms of digestion or anxiety.

Something is starting to show up,

Headaches that are showing that the stress is building to a level above a threshold that we can maintain.

So what are some others,

That's great.

But what are some other signs that a person is not taking care of themselves?

So we know the easy ones,

Which are your body starts fighting back and you start not feeling well.

But what are some of the things that you've seen that are warning signs for people to know you need to slow down,

You need to recharge and take care of yourself?

Big focus or topics,

The terms burnout and compassion fatigue.

If you start noticing irritability,

Your mood is going towards anger,

Frustration,

A little bit quick to the trigger.

Those are signs perhaps if you notice anxiety,

Racing thoughts,

Restlessness,

Sleep disturbances.

These are usually good signs that there's not enough space or transitions or enough of a place inside yourself to even think about what your need is.

So that's a sign that overwhelm is kind of we're already living it.

A lot of us have been going through that for the last year because there's just been so many stressors.

So it becomes more important to have some language or some tools.

Here's where Kabbalah or spiritual techniques come in,

Something that helps you connect,

Slow down and ground yourself.

Richard's talking about the type of person that feels needed,

That feels that the world is at a state where I'm needed,

I need to step up.

And sometimes this happens with parents.

I was waiting for you to chime in here.

Every parent on the planet this year had to buckle down and become a,

I don't know,

Have three jobs simultaneously in order to make sure that their kids continue to thrive,

That meals get paid and food is on the table.

And there was no,

Personally speaking in the beginning,

There was no room for self-care or what do I want to do now or am I in the mood?

It was really go,

Go,

Go until for a while.

And I want our audience,

Our live audience to chime in because even before all this happened,

I don't really know that many parents that think they're doing a wonderful job all the time that they say,

You know what,

I'm an amazing mom.

I'm an amazing father.

And they don't constantly feel some sense of guilt,

Whether they're not giving enough time,

Energy,

Are they missing something?

My kid maybe needs to learn guitar,

Piano,

Soccer,

The cello,

Violin,

And maybe.

.

.

David is now confessing his own issues.

His own issues are poor right now.

I don't know what I can do for my five-month-old children.

But when I talk to parents,

There's always this feeling of I need to do more,

Right?

So we have the parent category and we have the frontline,

The people who are healing and helping category.

I want to introduce the entrepreneurial business FOMO category because speaking to a lot of people who run their own business,

Especially if they are talented or they have a lot to offer,

There's this constant feeling that they're missing something.

This is constant feeling of there's more money to be made.

Are the rags going to be pulled out from them?

Or they're going to lose something.

Or there's all this opportunity and,

You know,

Am I missing out on the stock market?

Am I missing out on cryptocurrency?

Am I missing out on real estate?

Oh,

And this and the pandemic.

So many opportunities.

The FOMO of missing an opportunity is also causing people to burn out,

To overwork,

To get ahead of everybody else so that they don't miss out on something that they can potentially receive.

So these are three categories.

I'm wondering if there's more categories.

Our live audience can share categories that you've seen of people who are engaging life in a certain way that's eventually causing the burnout.

Well,

I often ask people how much of what you're experiencing is real and how much of it is,

Depending on the situation,

I might say self-induced or imagined or the word isn't fantasy.

It's more like we're creating a bigger production than it really is.

And maybe,

Richard,

You can tell us from a biophysiological point of view,

The brain kind of invents or I've learned at least that the brain doesn't really distinguish between real and imagined scenarios.

So we go into these worst case scenarios and the body is responding as though they are actual and not imagined.

And that also,

In my work with people,

Which is not on a medical or professional level to that extent,

It really helps to kind of cut away the imagination and talk about this is what's really happening.

This is what's in my power to control and to do and to affect.

And then really,

I mean,

You brought up,

It's important to have something spiritual there to really let the light take care of the rest.

And David and I spoke last week about giving a third,

Kind of taking only two thirds of what we need.

This is a similar concept.

It's like really weeding away or removing the wheat from the chaff and looking at what's really there,

What I have to work with rather than imagining where this could go or how out of hand it isn't.

It's beautiful what you said that.

I mean,

First of all,

I mean,

I think it's like I'm separating it in my mind.

When I hear,

You know,

The,

The thought,

We know there's a movie going on that maybe we're chasing it.

We kind of hear these ideas,

But in the moment when you're,

You know,

When I was at 9 AM,

All of a sudden became the tech support guy in my house because everyone was on zoom school.

I felt like an out of body experience.

I had no idea what was happening to me.

It was completely,

But it was what we did to survive.

We all do these things,

Whether you're a business person who's being called in because there's one more big meeting,

Whether you're a fighter has to go out for one more round or you're a mom who has nonstop kids and zoom school and their technology is going down.

It's all playing on the same part of ourselves,

Which is this,

Once your nervous system gets triggered into fight or flight.

And I know you've talked about in the show before.

It's like,

Hey,

Why we cannot filter out in that moment.

So,

You know,

The main perspective I work with my clients on is that learning how to separate in your body between blue or calm states or,

And red and activating or sympathetic states.

Because if we don't have a dialogue inside ourselves of slowing down to ask some of the questions,

Like you're saying,

Let the light in,

What does that mean physiologically in the moment I have to slow down and remind myself,

I have a choice.

Is this the moment where I win,

Where I need to set a boundary and say,

No,

Is this a moment where I flipped the story,

Right?

Am I,

Do I need one more deal?

Do I need one more or do I really need to be setting healthier boundaries?

Because this is where I start building my relationship to my own self care,

To my relationship to someone outside of my business.

You know,

What does success look like for me?

I want to give a practice that triggered me.

I want to give a practical,

Kabbalistic,

Spiritual tool that I think can help us in the same way or one of the things that we learned in Kabbalah that is universal law,

That is something can only be revealed when you are receiving it or about to receive it or can receive it,

But then you let it go.

So the reason why letting go is such a popular concept and such a powerful concept and it makes us feel great is because in the same way that when the light shines on an object,

It's the light,

That light is revealed only when this object reflects it,

Pushes it back.

Essentially when the sun is shining on the earth,

The earth is letting go of that light.

It's pushing the light back and therefore we have the daytime,

We have that energy,

We have the heat.

So something can only be revealed when it's let go.

And this is the overall overarching theme within Kabbalah that there's what's called direct light and there's what's called returning light.

And most people live off of direct light which is things coming to me,

Things coming to me,

Me receiving,

Me receiving,

Me receiving and then we burn out.

The only way to avoid burnout is to connect to what's called returning light which is when I let go,

When I say,

When I pause and I literally push back this energy.

And I talk to students,

I say,

What's the most powerful concept that you learn in Kabbalah 1?

And they all say the same thing which was kind of shocking to me because I assume this is all something that maybe other people talk about.

I say the pause.

When they learn in Kabbalah 1 to pause.

Which is what Richard is calling the slowing down.

If you can slow down enough to realize you have a choice,

We say if you can pause,

You can back up and say,

Well,

Wait a second.

I don't,

Just because I've always done it this way,

Just because I was educated to do it this way,

Just because the experts say to do it this way doesn't mean that's the only way to do it.

In fact,

It's the opposite.

So pause means you're allowed to and you have to know,

We have the permission to stop and let go.

What if everyone's demanding of you right now for an answer?

Everyone is demanding right now that you fix the problem.

What if there's a fire?

What if there's like an emergency and you need to solve the problem?

And we say in Kabbalah,

You pause and by you pausing,

You actually reveal the light of the Creator,

Which the light then comes in and helps you solve the problem.

So you will actually solve the problem when you're with the light via the pause,

You will solve the problem in one minute versus if you go right into fight or flight mode,

No pause,

You use your talent,

Your brain,

Your ego to figure it out,

It could take you five days.

Then when you solve it in five days,

You're like,

You see,

Because I jumped right in and I tried to fix it,

I solved it.

Yeah,

But the truth is you were supposed to solve it in five minutes and you can only solve something when you let it go.

So every time you get excited about something,

Every time you feel like you're about to miss out on something,

Every time you feel like people are going to die without you,

You just pause.

Well,

How long do I pause?

You pause to the moment you feel that that external thing is no longer controlling you.

And if it's still controlling you,

If you're compelled,

Right,

There's something drawing you,

Then you need to pause again.

And it's so,

It sounds,

It's like it's almost impossible for people to do this.

So when do I do,

When do I do something,

When do I do something?

And that's the secret.

When you pause,

That's when the miracles and the magic starts to happen.

And then you re-engage when you're no longer feeling controlled by the external thing.

Maybe you can share with us some of the tools or the anchors that you give your clients,

The people that you work with,

Even if you only get to see them once or twice,

How do you help them re-imagine or recreate their experience?

Especially,

I mean,

I've read a lot about cellular memory that the body just automatically,

There isn't a thought process.

It goes right into that rescue mode or that fight or flight without any,

How can you pause if you're not even aware that it's happening?

Great question.

And first of all,

There's a concept called the brace collapse rebound,

Which I love talking about,

Which is kind of what David is talking about,

Which is,

Well,

What do you,

What do you mean I'm going to let go and just trust?

Like when I hear a lot of these things as a student,

I used to just wrestle with it that I can let go and then some answer will come to me.

And from a physiological perspective that if it's okay that you need to get knocked down,

That if there is this constriction,

A lot of people coming to me,

The breakup,

The something,

They've lost the job,

To trust that you are going to rebound.

Your body wants to come back to find the connection,

The thing that's going to help it to move.

It just may take time and capacity.

So my work is about what does capacity mean?

You know,

What are you sensing in your body?

Can we start with what you're experiencing when you went through the breakup,

You lost your job?

What do you feel inside your body?

A lot of the times we kind of move away from these feelings because they're uncomfortable and we kind of rush this process,

That,

That automatic feeling that once the phone rings that we have to grab it.

There's a lot of micro gestures that are going into before I pick up that phone,

Before I say yes.

We don't even realize that it's like to use the matrix metaphor,

How many choices we have in that moment.

So slowing things down and slowing the,

The thought process,

The frontal lobe wants to take over.

So in session I may be literally,

You know,

It may,

I let people know I may be cutting you off.

I may be slowing you down and bringing you back in because I want to track internally develop a language of tension,

Texture,

Imagery.

What did you want to do?

What did you want to say in that moment?

Well,

I can't say that.

I couldn't tell.

I couldn't say no.

Right.

There may be a competing response.

So it's kind of,

We're weaving out,

What was that response that you wanted to give?

Maybe that was the light.

That was the thing that you wanted to do,

But it's kind of turned down.

It's at a level one or two.

Where did you learn that?

Where in your life story,

In your culture story,

Right?

Sometimes it's like separating out all these things that have been adapted.

We're talking about guilt,

This message of,

Well,

I had to be,

I have to be a good mother.

I have to be a good doctor.

My family has given everything for me.

I've given everything to become a,

You know,

A businessman.

I'm the head of the company.

What do you mean?

I'm going to say no to that meeting.

We have to tune it down.

What would it mean if you did say no?

You're saying there are negative belief systems that are implanted within us,

Deep inside of us that are dictating the way we talk,

Move,

Act,

And you're going in and just kind of opening all that up and asking the client essentially to look at all this stuff and then re-examine it.

Correct.

And if we can even find one small way,

Right,

It's going to be hard to unweave all of that in one or two sessions.

But initially,

Even if you can look at,

Right,

If there's a wound,

If there was a,

You know,

If there's something that's pushing you into overwhelm,

If it's somebody who's chronically on and serving others,

Where might be those spaces that you could take 15 seconds for air to do an Anima Koach,

A meditation?

Where might be your five minutes of self-care?

Where might be somewhere you could set a little bit of a boundary?

Where's someone you've been feeling to say a boundary,

But the voice just hasn't been coming up yet?

And even to imagine it or act it out in session to let yourself have that internal permission so that you feel the strength developing.

So what is something right now,

Let's say in the next hour,

Someone can do by themselves to be able to identify what you're talking about here that's sabotaging the way they live life?

Is there something practical they can do?

Because not everyone's going to be able to have a coach or someone guide them or have someone like you just have a session and kind of go through that.

And we want our audience to have practical tools that they can do on their own.

Do you have something that's top of mind that you can share?

The four main tools that I work with my clients are grounding,

Breathing,

Orienting,

And connection.

Grounding is simple.

Sometimes it's as simple as feeling your back whenever you do a meditation on the chair or your feet on the ground,

Allowing yourself to slow down and stop whatever you're doing.

So if that's restriction,

Turning off your phone,

Separating from anyone else around you,

And just connect to your breath.

Sometimes as simple as a breath is doubling your exhale to your inhale.

So two seconds in,

Four seconds out,

Three seconds in,

Six seconds out.

Letting go of whatever is bombarding you and begin to ask yourself the question,

What are you needing?

What are you needing more of?

Is there one way in which you could set one boundary today that might create more space for you?

If you had more space,

What would you do with it?

Grounding is simple as just like,

I always use the squirrel as the example,

Letting yourself take a walk,

Getting in touch with nature.

Anytime you're in touch with what's happening around you,

You're letting go of that red activating stress,

Pressure activated,

And moving into more of a calm,

Restorative place.

So anything you can do to pay attention,

To notice,

To slow down what's happening internally.

And connection,

If you're isolated right now,

Anything you can do,

Call a friend.

If you can't get face to face with people,

Even using social channels just to feel like you're a part of something right now,

Helps slow down the internal story and the bombardment and lets you be a part of some other experience.

And that in itself can be healing in the moment.

I want to clarify something.

By the way,

I'm talking so much.

Oh,

This should have come in here.

What do you got to say?

You got something here.

Well,

It's funny because over the last couple of months,

We've had episodes about different topics.

We had a sleep episode.

We often bring up in our periodically in different shows for different reasons,

The idea that the Kabbalists talk about before we go to bed,

Doing that internal accounting,

What went well,

What didn't go well,

How can I do better tomorrow?

That teaching is rooted in the idea that every day our soul comes back a new fresh reboot.

The computer shuts off at night.

If you manage to get to sleep and if you don't know what I'm talking about,

Go back a few weeks and listen to the spiritual sleep episode.

But your soul,

According to Kabbalah,

Goes up for a recharge,

A reboot,

Comes back down and it's like square one.

Now because of that,

Most of us end up living life like Groundhog Day.

The movie from the,

I guess it's probably early 90s,

Same day over and over and over again because we're not pausing,

Because we're not shifting gears,

We're not interrupting the patterns or the belief systems that are causing us to feel in this place of overwhelm.

But the truth is that if we want,

And whatever day you're listening to it,

It doesn't really matter,

Tomorrow you can decide,

Tonight you can decide that tomorrow is going to be different.

That you get to decide,

And the reason I'm bringing it up is because part of that teaching shares with us that you get a new cup of energy,

We'll call it a cup,

Your vessel is filled with a new download of energy and you get to decide what to give that energy to.

Now if you've been listening to us,

You realize that you're giving it to the wrong outlets most of the time.

I can say that I'm not always giving it to the most productive or the best.

I'm not giving that energy into a place where it's going to have continuity,

Sometimes I'm just throwing it at people,

Places,

And things.

But if I want,

If I draw that energy from a more elevated place,

I won't be burned out first of all.

That's one of the big ideas is that the problem I know for me and one of the realizations I had at the beginning of the pandemic is that I was trying to do it all by myself.

I was trying to manage everything without skipping a beat,

As if it was fine,

As if it was perfect,

That everybody was going to get everything they needed.

And that inevitably I became depleted and as Richard said,

Angry,

Quick to react,

All those things,

Because I wasn't being as mindful as I had the month before,

The two months before in making those choices.

So one of the things that I can tell you that I do,

And I've shared this on the show before,

Because I don't really have the luxury in the morning to be like,

Hmm,

How do I want to navigate my day?

From the moment my feet hit the floor,

I'm pretty much running.

I use the evening to decide and to strategize what do I want from tomorrow?

What are the potential spots in tomorrow,

Potential triggers that I,

Oh,

When I have meetings with that person,

I feel blank.

What can I do right now to already ensure or prevent the repetition of that previous scene in the movie tomorrow?

If I know,

For example,

I have a class to teach tomorrow,

If I have a class to teach,

I know that requires more preparation,

More consciousness,

More expansion from me.

What do I need to do earlier in the day to ensure,

It may be a cup of coffee,

But by the way,

The cup of coffee works better when I have it by myself,

Listening to music that I love,

Feeling like I'm putting myself in a space of harmony and joy and playfulness,

Rather than I inhale it as I'm running down the stairs to get to something else.

So part of it is really becoming the architect of what do we want to experience,

Deciding I don't want to give energy to my angry neighbors or to politics or to saying people pleasing or to any of the little ways that we give that energy away during the day.

I mean,

Just as an example,

Richard was talking about people that they,

Whether it's a doctor,

Anybody else that lives that sort of nonstop movement in the course of a day.

A lot of the energy is wasted on beating yourself up because of what you did wrong five minutes ago or in the morning or what you should have said or would have said,

Feeling guilty about not doing things the right way or the best way or not getting the response we want.

If you begin,

If you identified with any of those patterns,

Just stop it.

I know it sounds funny.

Somebody asked me actually yesterday,

Can you talk more about how do you let go?

At the end of the day,

You just got to do it.

And the repetition of doing it ends up feeding you in a way that you can't believe because you thought you were getting fed by feeling guilty or beating yourself up or rehashing the drama of the morning.

So my advice is,

I guess in an overarching way,

When you get that renewal of energy every morning,

Whether you have to plan it in the evening before or do it in the morning when you wake up,

Decide what you want to give energy to.

If you don't want to give energy to the drama or the guilt or the missed opportunities,

Don't.

And see how the day,

The week,

The month changes because that conservation of energy accumulates and you start to feel like a different person.

I want to make something clear also that people often associate burnout with those who are overly active or who do a lot.

And the truth is burnout could be to somebody who isn't moving at all and isn't doing much because spiritually our definition of burnout is a person who operates from lack.

It's a person who's in receiving mode.

So even the person who is working all day and it looks like they're helping a lot of people,

If it comes from this place of I'm doing this because I don't fully love myself so I need to feel valuable,

I need to be the savior,

I need to be everyone else's savior because if I'm not doing it then I have to sit with myself and sitting with myself feels horrible because I don't really feel confident in myself or love myself or appreciate myself.

So as long as I'm in an environment where everyone else is appreciating me,

At least I feel good.

So that's going to cause burnout also.

So burnout is every time I'm in the desire to receive for the self alone.

I'm looking for ways to take and it's sneaky because it looks like you're giving.

As teachers of Kabbalah or whatever it is that you want to call that we do,

Giving spirituality,

Very easily we could be on the stage,

Talk,

Share and help other people and then come home and feel depressed.

Why?

Because when we're on and we're sharing,

We feel great but at the same time if we're not honest with ourselves about why we're doing it and we're not doing our own personal spiritual work we could be using our platform as a way to just fill a void.

Which now if I'm doing that am I giving or am I taking?

I'm taking from my audience but it looks like I'm giving because I'm sitting here and sharing advice and wisdom and whatnot.

We all need to be authentic and look inside of ourselves and say what percentage of what I'm doing is truly about the giving and not about using the audience,

The platform,

The children,

The whatever to feel good about myself.

I wrote four points here that this is by all means not the only four points but four points that I would kind of ask myself to make sure I'm not operating from lack.

Number one,

Whenever you're breaking a fear you know that's the right thing to do because you're not operating from lack because the lack is telling you to nurture the fear,

Never to break it.

Number two,

Which falls on the same idea,

When something is uncomfortable for you but you know it's right it's going to be going against the lack.

So you know it's right,

You're feeling your heart is right but it's uncomfortable and every part of your body doesn't want you to do it.

This is also going to be a positive thing that's going to prevent burnout.

Stopping and asking yourself this number three,

What is controlling me?

Who's in control right now?

Is the child controlling me?

Am I controlling the child?

Is the job controlling me or am I in control of the job?

What's in control?

If I'm out of control then I'm on my way to burnout.

And then number two,

The last one is to always ask yourself,

Go back to the intention of why you did this.

Like,

Why are we teaching or why did I start this business or why did I get married in the first place?

To always go back to the original intention and because the negative side does is tries to veer us from the intention.

In the beginning it's about the customer and it's about the other person and that's why we call it a honeymoon period because on the honeymoon it's about the other person.

And then something happens where it becomes about something else,

About me,

About my prestige,

About my respect,

About my whatever and then you're on your path to burnout again.

Great steps.

I would add maybe the fifth step would be because in what the teacher in this example who's giving all the time and says,

Well,

I got to give more seminars,

I got to give more.

I would ask you to ask yourself,

What feeling am I trying to avoid experiencing?

Because in that space where I've created all these rules for why I must do or there may be an experience that I don't want to have.

So whether we refer to that as pain or suffering.

And in those emotions,

Here's the gold with it,

That restriction,

That is where there's more information for you about what you truly need in the relationship or what maybe you need from that career.

What gets,

Like David asked me on the way over here,

What gets you excited about what you're doing?

Because that information is what's going to fill you up with more what I call blue,

More parasympathetic.

So what I would ask,

I think one takeaway that when we end today is that for everyone that if they give themselves a moment when they end this,

What we call a podcast or a radio show,

Whatever,

You know,

Live stream,

However you're listening today,

It's all of the above,

All the above that you give yourself time to step into an image of what,

What is being a mother?

What's you at your most successful version of being a mother or doctor?

What does that image look like?

What does it,

You know,

What,

What does your face look like?

How is the tension in your body?

What is the experience of it?

What are you doing?

Right?

What does your life look like?

Step back into the imagery because your,

Your subconscious will draw you towards that.

If we're telling ourselves a story of,

I need to be on and I'm here to serve everybody,

That may not be really what we want to be doing,

But that's what's causing us some of the unhappiness,

The strain,

The anxiety.

So sometimes allowing ourselves to move towards that imagery or like you said,

The meaning to step back into that place.

I said,

They came to my mind that I don't think I've ever shared,

But I thought maybe if I share it will be helpful for the,

For our audience before I do so.

I should have,

You got something that took your time.

The only thing,

It's maybe a good preface for this and you'll answer through what you wanted to share,

But I posed the question on social media yesterday.

Where are the stressors for you?

I forget exactly how I worded it.

How,

What is the universe giving you that's requiring you to show up with greater inner strength?

And we got a lot of great answers,

But among the most common ones were being alone so much.

Being alone so much is what is one of the.

.

.

Is where they're having to be strong.

They're alone so much and it's hard.

It's hard for people to be alone as much as they're having to be alone.

The finances part,

It doesn't really seem like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

And that goes into one of the other ones,

Which was being out of a job or being looking so.

.

.

What's the word?

Being so.

.

.

Going on so many interviews and having so many rejections,

Feeling like there's no hope there.

And also having faith,

I guess they were talking about being strong in light of everything that the pandemic is asking of them,

Whether it's not being around family,

Not being as social,

Not enjoying life.

One of the things that people said is they're simply not enjoying life as much as they used to.

And that is asking them to be strong and not be victim and not feel pity for themselves.

So I think that that's part of what we can speak to in the last few minutes of the show.

It's important for people to understand that the universe is giving every single person on the planet the perfect version of that call for them.

We're all being called to be stronger,

To be more mindful,

To be more resilient,

To be more conscious.

So whatever your unique theme is,

Know that every single person on the planet is being.

.

.

Whether they're answering the call is something else.

But every single one of us is being asked to go to that next level in our flexibility,

In our gentleness,

In our compassion,

Not only for others,

But also for ourselves.

And so now I wanna hear what David has to say.

Well,

I'm gonna actually punt what I was gonna say.

I'm gonna punt it.

This is my returning light here.

So I'll share this hopefully another time.

But what you reminded me of was this idea that.

.

.

I shared this with a colleague of mine and I was studying it on Saturday,

That every time you,

Let's say you pray or you ask for the subconsciously,

The subconsciously inside of yourself,

You ask for your next level,

It says that,

How do you know your prayers are being answered?

That everything goes wrong.

So I read that and I said,

Wait,

How does that make any sense?

So on one hand,

You pray for,

Let's say,

Financial security.

And the way you know that your prayers are answered is you have an immediate period of even a worse financial situation.

Same thing,

Relationships.

You ask for.

.

.

And I'm gonna answer this in a moment,

But I want you all to follow for a second.

If you ask for a soulmate,

What you'll actually experience is the opposite,

A feeling of loneliness and sadness.

Now,

What does that mean?

Why does that mean that my prayers are being answered?

Because as soon as you decide inside of yourself that you're ready for your next level of whatever it is,

What the creator does is the creator shows you all the reasons why,

What's holding you back from achieving that.

And that's why it looks like it's the exact opposite of what I asked for.

And that's confusing for people.

The creator is basically saying,

You want financial security?

Well,

Let me show you now in a very clear way,

All the reasons you don't have it.

And that's why it seems like it gets worse because things start to get taken away.

It's almost like the ocean water that recedes back.

Everything is taken away and you're kind of naked.

You're kind of shown what's wrong with you.

Because as long as you have these mediocre relationships that are feeding you energy here and there,

You don't really know what's wrong with you.

But then when the relationships end and people start leaving you or they start judging you,

Then all of a sudden you're naked and you see everything that's wrong with you.

It seems like life got worse.

But that's that uncomfortable period between when you ask for your next level and you get your next level.

There's this uncomfortable period of being naked where all of your negativity comes to the surface.

And that is really,

That's really our test.

And if people know that,

If you know that that's what it is,

It's kind of like go to the gym,

You work out and then you're weaker and sore for three days.

So you're actually farther away from strength than you were before you worked out.

That's that naked period where it goes the opposite.

And then the revelation comes.

As long as you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater in that naked period,

You don't screw it up.

You don't become more reactive.

You just said so many beautiful things.

And thank you,

Elisheva,

For bringing up what so many people are going through right now.

I mean,

I think Japan assigned a minister of loneliness,

By the way.

Okay.

It's brilliant.

Okay.

Like this is a global thing.

Being isolated is very dangerous,

Especially for men and men's health.

And stress resilience has been a study in psychology for a long time.

And you go back to Victor Frankl who taught survivors of the Holocaust.

He looked at who were the people,

Who are the survivors.

And I do think it's important to look at were those who could make meaning of every day,

Who could enjoy the conversations with the guards,

Who could enjoy telling stories.

So it does give us this gift of going back to what are the small things that help us create meaning and purpose in our days when we're stripped from a lot of the things that brought us enjoyment or made our days a little bit easier and a little bit just more fun on the surface.

But what I wanted to speak to when David was mentioning all that was that if somebody is naked already,

If they feel alone,

Isolated,

And they exposed already,

And now they went through this pandemic or something like this,

They may be hearing what we're saying and maybe saying,

But I just don't know how.

And so I just think that the beauty of what I just want you to keep repeating yourself,

If what you feel is vulnerable and you want the soulmate,

Or I just need to connect,

Really pay attention to that in every interaction you have.

Who are the people that really pay attention to you?

Or I get joy out of like,

Who is the barista that actually like cared,

Right?

Smallest interactions,

Who's the neighbor who actually waves?

Fill yourself up with where you need to get connection.

And sometimes paradoxically,

If you're looking for work,

Can you find some way to volunteer?

Can you find some way to give of yourself just to connect to other people because we create this energy that leads to employment?

A lot of times we keep going about it in the same way,

Sending out resumes and it keeps reinforcing this,

I'm not progressing.

So beautiful.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

We got,

We got one minute left.

You want to wrap it up for us?

Wow.

So first of all,

Richard,

Thank you so much for finally being here with us.

We honor,

We have a,

Another series of episodes coming up in the coming month that I'm actually excited about and will dovetail on what David said that he was going to say that he didn't say that he said something else instead.

I'm going to use that next week to begin the show.

I want to thank everybody for listening.

We are lucky enough,

At least David and I,

To be surrounded by a community of people who take what they've learned professionally and integrate it in a spiritual way.

And that's one of the reasons I love having these guests on the show with us is that they are living proof that you can take the conventional and bring it into such a beautiful and elevated form that it's not,

It's,

It's unconventionally powerful.

And that's one of the things that I've seen in,

And of course,

Richard and what he does with also like you focus on men's health,

Men's men's health,

Channeling the inner hero within telling that story of seeing your best self and bringing that out into the world.

That to me is phenomenal.

And so if it wasn't needed before,

Boy,

Is it sure needed now.

And we will be sharing more content throughout the week to support you on this journey to finding inner strength.

Have a fabulous week and we'll see you next time on the Weekly Energy Boost.