Deconstructing Fear - Weekly Energy Boost

What is fear? Where does it come from? Is there such a thing as positive fear? In this episode we dive into the anatomy of fear and how to overcome the limitations it creates in our lives with special guest Batya Solomon. Episode 1 of 3 on fear. Original airdate: 10/19/20

Transcript

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I have the privilege this morning of being joined by Batya Salomon,

Who is a dear friend and fabulous all-around person,

But happens to be one of the senior teachers at the Kabbalah Center of Florida,

And we will hear all about her fabulousness shortly.

This is a fabulous week for you,

For those of you that are finding us for the first time,

Because we are delving into perhaps one of the hottest topics on everyone's mind these days,

Which is fear.

And the Weekly Energy Boost is a seven-day spiritual energy forecast.

We delve through the wisdom of Kabbalah and share with you weekly the most practical and powerful wisdom that we can find,

Not only what we think is interesting and powerful,

But also what's working for us as Kabbalah students and what's working for our students over the years.

Batya,

I'm sure you've counseled thousands upon thousands of people,

So this is not.

.

.

I had a great idea in the shower this morning,

And I want to share it with everybody.

This is not only tried and true wisdom,

But ancient wisdom that we do our best to make modern and relevant and useful.

So today we're talking about what is fear.

I'm sure that a lot of people are saying,

Well,

I know what fear is.

It's something I encounter every single day.

But Kabbalistically speaking,

On a metaphysical level,

We want to understand what's taking place,

Because over the next few weeks,

We're going to learn how to tackle and transform it.

And the reason this is really the most appropriate theme for us to be exploring is because today,

According to the Kabbalistic calendar,

Is the new moon of Scorpio.

And every time we have the new moon,

We don't always get to have a show on the new moon live,

But whenever we have the new moon in the week,

We always talk about how it's important on the new moon,

Sometimes it's 24 hours,

Sometimes it's 48 hours,

The importance of planting positive seeds,

Being the best version of ourselves,

Smiling even when we don't want to smile,

Sharing even when we don't want to share,

Because what that does is that creates an imprint,

A mold for the following 29 to 30 days thereafter.

So for those of you that are listening,

On Monday,

You have that ability now with whatever left of Monday you've got.

And just the knowledge that we're entering a new energy,

An energy we spent the last not only four weeks,

But basically eight weeks,

Setting up our year to come.

And today is really the first day of that year,

According to Kabbalah.

So the plot,

The script has been sketched,

And now with our words and our thoughts and our actions,

We are actualizing that.

And one of the reasons I think Batya is the perfect guest to have this week is because we,

Batya and I work together rather closely on other projects,

Creating curriculum and resources for our teachers,

And this has been,

I think fear for us,

We've never been able to put an entire class together about it,

Yet it permeates almost every single class,

Because when you think about it,

That's the,

Fear is the thing,

If there's something that stops us,

It's fear,

Fear of something.

And so today we want to understand metaphysically what goes on,

What's the mechanism behind the fear that I think,

I feel like I say it in every show,

But now more than ever,

This is a thing.

And so we want to not only help our listeners work through it,

But also give our listeners something to share with others that can help shift not only individually what's going on,

But collectively.

So what are fears?

And maybe for those of you that are listening,

You can also write in the comments,

What are your typical fears?

What are the fears that you encounter regularly?

Where do you want to start,

Batya?

What comes to mind is fear is false evidence appearing real.

Of course.

Of course.

So if you listen to any of my classes,

I'll give myself a shameless plug right here at Prosperity Principles every Wednesday at 11 o'clock Eastern time.

I always regard the teachings of Kabbalah come from the Bible,

Torah and Hebrew,

And it's only filled with metaphysical concepts.

And because we don't have a metaphysical language,

The information or the energy is transferred in stories.

So the first story we receive with the beginning of the Bible,

Which makes absolutely no sense,

But beyond the scope of this particular conversation of in the beginning,

God created the heavens and the earth.

The beginning is not what you think it is.

It's not linear time.

So what is the Bible telling us?

If you took the religiosity out of it and you looked at it as a handbook for humanity,

And here you are,

You're a new soul,

You're incarnating into this 10th dimension.

And the first thing we learn,

And I don't have time to go into the details of it,

But the first thing we learn is that we're incarnating into a world of illusion,

Where time,

Space,

And matter only affect this dimension.

And we're going to get sucked into different situations,

Which is false evidence appearing real.

We have the story of the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve and the trickster,

The opponent,

Who becomes a snake.

There's so many levels to that,

But the first thing that we're introduced to in the handbook of humanity is when you get to the 10th dimension,

One of the first things you're going to encounter is fear.

It's false evidence appearing real.

And what did we come to the world to do?

We came to the world not to be sucked into fear,

Not to be sucked into the illusion of this world.

Now how does fear work?

There's three kinds of fear,

Basically.

There's the fear of pain and destruction and what's happening,

Basically two kinds of uncertainty,

I'll put it to you that way.

So there's the pain of what's happening around me,

And then there's the pain of,

Or the fear of what's going to be with me.

That really is the essence of fear,

An unhealthy fear,

Is what's going to be with me.

I'll take the word unhealthy out of it.

I'll just say it's a lower form of fear.

What's going to happen to me?

What's going to be with me?

And then the general fear of what's going to happen with other people.

But if you think that through a little more,

You're going to realize it's also going to be what's going to happen to me.

What about me?

So as long as we're in that frame of thinking of what's going to happen to me,

What about me,

What do they think of me,

Then life is very fearful.

And that's actually,

We came to this world,

If I could take the conversation a little bigger here,

We incarnated into this world so not to get sucked into the fear.

Now there's a positive side of fear.

Should we talk about that?

Yeah,

We promise that we will talk about the positive.

Yes,

There is a positive side of fear.

There are levels of fear,

Right?

So the lowest level,

What's going to happen to me,

That's uncertainty.

Let's just,

Just capsulate.

There's different kinds of expressions of uncertainty.

What are we uncertain about?

That there is no system.

There's no,

The system doesn't make sense.

There's no creator force.

What the heck am I doing on this planet?

I'm stranded and nothing makes sense.

And logic just gets me so far.

And I think I see or I know what life is really all about and then I get,

Boom,

You know,

Get smacked in the face with an event.

Something suddenly happens.

I don't know how to make sense of it.

I try to predict the future from the past.

That doesn't work.

Or we,

You know,

We resort to all sorts of coping mechanisms because we can't feel certain.

And as long as we don't have a certainty that everything is exactly where it needs to be and you are exactly where you need to be in your spiritual process.

Now when we're not reminded of that,

Where we're not in that frame of thinking,

Then life feels very fearful.

Well we brought up something I think that is really important is the uncertainty piece.

That I think is,

As if you've been listening for any period of time,

If you study Kabbalah,

Really if you're on any spiritual path,

You know that that,

We call it certainty,

Other paths it might be called faith or trust or knowing,

But that's one of the measures by which we recognize spiritual growth,

Is your certainty growing.

So one of the things that the Kabbalists teach about fear is that without fear,

We don't have a mechanism to strengthen our certainty.

When I understood that,

I felt a bit safer to handle my fears because there was a benefit incentive on the other side.

If I will work through my fears,

The benefit is greater certainty and greater certainty is greater connection and revelation of light in my life.

So I think a lot of people avoid dealing with their fears for fear of what's on the other side.

So now here comes Kabbalah and says there is only benefit on the other side.

The transformation,

I don't know the right way to say it,

But hopefully by the end of the show I'll articulate it the right way,

But it's the purpose when you're able to identify a fear.

I'm working through something,

I notice I have a fear of let's say public speaking.

On the other side of the fear- Number one fear,

Public speaking.

On the other side of that fear,

I may find that I'm a brilliant speaker,

Captivating,

Charismatic human being,

But that's not the goal.

The goal is that by working through that fear,

It's spiritual expansion.

I will have a closer relationship.

I will be more connected to that spark of light that's already inside me.

So even though,

Like you said,

It comes in the illusion of what's going to happen or how are they going to receive me or what kind of rejection might I risk experiencing,

But the result is- That goes back to the creation story.

By the way,

It's not a history lesson.

Creation story is happening right here all the time.

We're creators.

We're always creating our story.

Just saying.

So in the creation story,

The snake is the one who starts to introduce the doubt,

Doubt in the creator,

Doubt in the system of life.

That's really what it comes down to.

So on the other side of fear,

You can't talk about fear without talking about two things.

The opponent force that is throwing challenges at us all the time.

It looks like them.

It smells like them.

It sounds like them.

It's definitely them.

They're the reason why I have the fear.

They're the reason why I'm miserable.

They're the reason why I'm a victim.

Our challenge and our steps of growth is to resist going there,

Resist blaming.

It's to take back responsibility.

It's an accountability.

For some reason,

And part of the game of life is,

I'm playing hide and seek with God.

We're all playing hide and seek with the creator force,

Whatever you want to call it.

Allah,

Buddha,

Whatever,

Whatever you want to call it.

Your higher self.

We're all playing hide and seek with that.

That was the purpose.

That's the means,

I should say.

The purpose is to own our creation,

To not be affected by the illusion of this world.

Now,

If you don't know that you're an immortal soul having human experiences,

Then life is very,

Very scary.

You're like a rag doll tossed in the ocean of life,

Just being tossed around and looking to anyone and holding onto anyone or anything that gives us temporary comfort or the illusion of security.

There is no,

As we see today,

What's secure.

David was supposed to be on the show this morning.

No David.

No.

No.

What's secure?

What's secure?

What can you count on?

Your money?

We've seen that go down.

What,

The government?

We don't want to get into that conversation.

We stay away from that on the Weekly Energy Boost.

The economy?

Yeah,

We don't want to stay with that,

Right?

The economy?

People come and go.

Just today,

I got a text from someone that their business partner just died just like that.

At a young age.

Well,

There's no such thing as death,

But that's another time.

That's another episode.

For another time.

So,

What can you count on?

So there's that uncertainty.

So what can we count on?

When you can count on something and you hold onto that and you are able to resist falling into being reacted,

I'm sure,

As we know,

We've talked about reactivity like probably every episode,

That that reactivity is actually,

Or the opportunity not to be reactive is really the doorway to a whole other parallel life.

The life with less fear.

The life with more certainty.

Now,

What's the opposite of fear?

Certainty?

Love.

Love and certainty are the same.

Think about that.

When you love,

Truly love,

You're not thinking about yourself.

You're thinking about that other person.

You love them so much.

Or you care so much about your community.

Or you care so much about a cause.

Your self-concern disappears.

That's the remedy for fear,

Actually.

So there's really only two channels here,

My friends,

Is love and there's fear.

Now,

We talked about positive fear,

Negative fear,

But there's something called positive fear,

Which is a form of love.

The positive fear is called awe,

Era.

And unfortunately,

In Hebrew,

A lot of times you see it written,

For those of you who read it or whatever,

I see it a lot mistranslated.

It says in the Zohar,

For those of you,

I'm sure a lot of Kabbalah students here already,

And you read the Zohar and if not,

Get one ASAP.

It's more important than the American Express card.

Never leave home without it.

Anyway,

It says in the Zohar that where you see that there's a fear of Hashem,

Yirah Hashem,

Right?

And it's translated as fear of the Creator,

Fear of the Lord or whatever,

However,

Biblical you want to get with it.

But it's not fear.

A higher level of fear is awe.

Awe is like jaw-dropping,

I don't know,

Reverence.

I don't even know if that even really like encapsulates the feeling of awe.

There's only one time in my life where I actually felt awe.

We won't go into that.

That's another podcast.

Another episode.

Right,

Another episode.

Dangling carrots for our listeners.

Sorry.

But truly,

Awe is like,

Can you imagine,

Let's say you're standing in front of the Grand Canyon or some gorgeous,

Not even overwhelming sight of nature.

See,

There must be a Creator here or if you've ever been or given birth,

Right?

Or if you've been with someone and you've witnessed the act of birth of a soul coming into this world.

By the way,

I've been on both sides of that midwifery thing.

I've helped many,

Many women.

Many women give birth,

But I've also been helping people transition.

And it's the same thing.

Again,

We're back to that topic again.

Sorry about that.

But it's amazing.

It's that awe of like,

Wow,

There is something so much greater than our five senses here.

It's incredible.

And so when we give into fear,

We're like,

Take the possibilities of our lives,

The limitlessness,

And we shrink it down to this teeny weeny little packet of nothing but fear.

And if you can't do anything with fear,

What happens?

It becomes anxiety and stress.

We're going to talk about that next week.

There you go.

Let's talk about it.

Stay on the path.

Stay on your lane.

Well,

The interesting thing,

We always like to give a little bit of deep,

Maybe complex Kabbalistic secrets.

The word in Hebrew,

Yir'ah,

When you change the letters,

It spells the word sight.

So for me,

I think we were just watching a class that Rav Berg gave about this.

What happens is when you see the bigger picture,

When you have that long range vision and you know,

Okay,

What I'm experiencing right now may be challenging or painful or difficult,

But in the long term,

In the big picture,

It's leading me to a blessing.

That's really where,

Again,

It's another level of developing certainty,

Seeing the light in everything.

According to Kabbalah,

The light is more present in darkness than it is in light.

You know what?

I'm sorry.

No,

Go for it.

So here's a really interesting thing.

So if you're a person who has a lot of fear,

I'll share with you what I do.

When I find myself,

My opponent's playing with my head and telling me,

Looking for my hot buttons and pressing my insecurity buttons or what's going to happen,

And I stop,

I take a deep breath,

I say,

Really,

What am I afraid of?

And what's going to happen if,

Oh,

David Giamdini didn't show up today.

So I mean,

Life goes on with all due respect.

One third more talking time for us.

I'm just saying the things that we're so busy being afraid of,

By the way,

Studies show that at least 80% or more of the things that we think about that we're afraid of never even happened.

Sucks our energy.

Where does that energy go?

You know where that energy goes?

It could be going to health.

It could be going into creativity.

It could be going into manifesting much more abundance and love and greater relationships,

Starting with ourselves,

With ourselves,

With our higher self,

With the creator force.

It could be going into so many wonderful,

Positive things.

Stop aging.

That's right.

I said it.

Drop the mic right there.

Don't drop the mic.

It's not our mic.

It's not my mic.

I'm afraid I'll have to pay for it.

I'm so what if I have to pay for it?

You bring up something really,

Really powerful.

It's a question that I find myself asking students in one-on-one sessions.

So that happens.

Then what?

Exactly.

That's a great strategy.

When you get through,

You realize,

First of all,

Whatever's going to happen,

Whatever you're worried about happening isn't going to happen.

It does.

If it does,

You'll handle it.

You'll make it.

You'll be dead as you think.

That's the second thing that I think is important to share with everyone is that fear is meant to be cured,

Not coped with.

That's right.

I love that.

That,

I think,

Is one of the most important things because a lot of people look at fear and say- Well,

Fear's not an illness.

I don't know if cures,

Is that really the right word you really want to use?

Well,

Healed,

Transformed.

I'd say resisted.

Resisted.

Okay,

But meaning we're meant to work through it.

We're not meant to live with it.

That I think is what the.

.

.

There's a lot of people out there that say,

Well,

Fear keeps me healthy.

Fear keeps me safe.

I'm not even going to challenge that.

Go for it.

I'm not even going to challenge that we're meant to work through it.

I don't think so because it's not even real.

It's an illusion.

What verb would you use?

It's a trick of the opponent force to suck me in- How do you get to the other side of the trick?

To reactivity.

Restrict.

Oh,

Here's what I do.

It's been working for me.

It's been working for me really well,

By the way.

I hate to throw myself under the bus,

But it's really good to throw yourself under the bus because when you throw yourself under the bus,

See,

The opponent is like a kidnapper.

By the way,

If you're not familiar with that term,

We talked about it and defined it a lot,

Actually,

In the last week's episode,

Which was called Passion and Spirituality.

The opponent is basically this construct,

Batia,

You used that last year when you were on the show.

You said it's like a VR,

Virtual reality suit.

When we come down to the world,

Our body is this virtual reality suit that comes with a narrator.

It's an accessory.

That narrator is always going to put you in a corner,

Create fear,

Create uncertainty,

Cause us to act or tempt us to act out of lack.

That's right.

That's the word,

Tempt.

The purpose is to overcome it.

It's not there to win.

It's not there to triumph.

It's there for us to say,

You know what?

Sit down.

Shut up.

It's not there.

Right.

So the opponent force acts like a kidnapper.

It gets in there,

Creeps in and kidnaps our certainty,

Our self-esteem.

It plays with the projections of what we think our reality is.

And it really sucks the life force out.

You know why it works for people?

But I'm saying it's like,

I don't know what's going on.

Right.

That's one way.

That's one reason.

In a way,

What we're doing when we're afraid of some potential happening in the future,

Potential loss,

Potential failure,

Potential rejection,

What are we doing?

We're taking energy from the future.

Exactly.

So we're depriving- When the opponent is stealing it from us.

Well,

But okay,

So you're getting into the- Well,

No,

Because don't identify with the opponent.

It's one of the tricks of the opponent.

Okay.

So she's true that.

True that.

But I like the visual.

Imagine that you're worried about some event you've got to get through or put on or something's happening in the future.

You have fears about it.

What are you doing?

Draining that event of energy.

And that's really something to be worried about.

Right?

Because nothing is real.

We're constructing our reality all the time.

Nothing is real.

I can only imagine somebody listening to this while they're driving.

What the hell is she saying?

Well,

I think you need to explain the illusion.

I think what people go through feels very real.

How can it be an illusion?

It feels real.

And the only reason why it feels real is because you keep identifying with your virtual reality suit called your body consciousness.

That's not who you are.

You're not your shoes.

You wear your shoes,

But you're not your shoes.

And we're not our bodies.

Our bodies are these vehicles by which we navigate this world.

We are pure consciousness.

That's who you are.

You're pure consciousness.

I encourage you,

Even if you don't meditate,

Because some people run away from that word meditation,

Spend five minutes a day considering what does it feel like if I was an immortal being of consciousness and I'm wearing a virtual reality suit.

Just let your imagination go with you for a little bit there.

Now,

The opponent force is not a bad force.

We need that challenge so that we can rule over this world.

Go back to the hand of humanity.

Go back to the last show.

If you're confused about what we're talking about,

Pause now.

Go back to last week's show and then rejoin us.

We'll meet you later.

Anyway,

So where was I?

I forgot where I was.

See,

That's an illusion.

See,

The opponent just played with my head.

See that?

It happens all the time.

And somebody's saying,

Oh,

Finish.

The interesting thing about everything Batya's saying,

The illusion or the.

.

.

I was just talking about it with a student actually,

Is that what ends up happening many times when we do,

As Batya was saying,

Resist the temptation to feed the opponent,

Feed the fears is that you get to the other side of whatever it was you were afraid of and you realize it was all smoke and mirrors.

That's what Batya.

.

.

When Batya's saying illusion,

You know,

You.

.

.

Smoke and mirrors.

Smoke and mirrors,

But the thing is that the universe is constantly giving us the opportunity to show our spiritual prowess.

So,

For example,

You get into a scenario where you're afraid of failing or you're afraid of being vulnerable or you're afraid of losing something and you say,

You know what?

What do I have to lose?

Or you find a way.

.

.

We'll talk in a few weeks about different tools that can help us with fear and overcoming,

But once we stand on the other side of that fear,

You realize nobody was out to get me.

They had intended to do this or give this.

.

.

All of the movie in my head that the game I.

.

.

The opponent was playing with me,

The worst case scenarios that I was running through in my head were an illusion.

There's no other word for it.

So part of the.

.

.

Let's see some examples.

We're very,

Very theoretical here.

Let's say,

For example,

You have these great ideas.

You're in a career or profession that you love.

You're doing what you're doing for many years and you have great ideas,

But you're afraid that they'll be rejected.

You want to present them.

.

.

By the way,

It could be in a relationship.

You want to open your heart to the person that you're dating and you're afraid you're going to be rejected.

Your family has this perception of who you are,

What you're about,

And you want to be real and genuine with them,

But you're afraid they're going to reject who you really.

.

.

It happens,

By the way,

When people study spirituality.

They start to transform and they're afraid to show their renewed.

.

.

This new version of themselves because they don't want their friends.

We spoke about this a few weeks ago also.

The desire to stay.

.

.

Well,

I want to talk about that afterwards.

Okay,

So fear of rejection.

Go for it.

That's the example.

Use a professional one,

Let's say.

You want to- Professional one?

Yeah,

Like you want to move forward.

You want to present- Well,

Let's say you work for a company and they change the rules on you,

And they change company policy and you didn't get the memo,

Right?

For whatever reason,

Or you think you didn't get the memo.

What happens when something like that happens?

Your boss comes up with a new protocol,

A way of doing things,

And they didn't tell you about it,

Right?

What's the first thing a lot of people think,

Oh,

They're going to fire me.

They don't love me.

They don't want me.

Why didn't I get the memo?

Meanwhile,

You didn't bother to check your email,

But that's besides the point,

Right?

Then the opponent just takes that,

Takes us for a ride right there.

I'm no good.

Nobody likes me here.

Whatever.

He never liked me or she never liked me from day one,

And that's it.

And then you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to just mess things up for them because if they don't want me,

Then the hell with them and blah,

Blah,

Blah.

We do these things all the time,

Right?

We don't stop and we don't pause and we don't say,

What a pleasure.

I'm sure you talked about that too,

Right?

You got to use those tools.

They're so powerful.

Wait a second.

Is what I'm saying true?

Is it true?

My husband didn't bring me flowers this week.

He doesn't love me anymore.

Is that true?

Or did my opponent just start playing with my head?

Is it true or is it not true?

We don't even know.

So when we don't question and I encourage you to start questioning,

I'm feeling fear right now.

What is that about for me?

How is my opponent playing with my head right now?

This is my internal conversation.

How is my opponent?

Another trick of the opponent,

By the way,

Is putting us in boxes.

It's either this or that.

Either,

Oh,

I saw your husband.

He was at lunch in your favorite restaurant with some gorgeous blondes.

Oh my God,

That's it.

My marriage is over.

Who is she?

I bet you it was from that Christmas party three years ago.

I knew something was up and a whole movie goes on.

That's it.

We're going to get divorced.

What lawyer am I going to cut?

We go through this whole movie and you find out it was his cousin,

Debbie.

You know?

And how many times have we fallen into that?

Come on,

Raise your hand.

How many times have we fallen into that?

Things like that.

And the funny part is you got to laugh.

Fear is,

When I think of fear,

You know what I think of honestly?

I think of one of my most favorite stories,

Classic,

The Wizard of Oz.

The Wizard of Oz,

Right?

So she goes to,

She gets lost in,

What was it,

She went from Kansas to Oz.

No,

But she's,

Yeah,

She led,

Oh yeah,

She got the Munchkin Land,

Right?

Emerald City.

Yeah.

And everybody's in awe of the wizard.

Everybody's afraid of the wizard.

You know,

And the right time,

And then we have the opponent,

The Wicked Witch of the West,

Right?

And she's,

You know,

Rattling her broom and screaming at her and everybody's afraid of the Wicked Witch,

Right?

And then she finally gets to the wizard,

Right?

And he's got like puffs of smoke and this projection,

You know,

That's how I think of the opponent in that way.

You know,

Who are you to come and ask me?

Oh,

I'm afraid,

You know,

And the lion goes and jumps out the window and all of this.

Talking about the classic movie.

Anyway,

And then what do we find out?

That the wizard is just a little scary little guy himself.

Scared little guy himself.

Yeah,

Well,

He's scared.

And you know,

And then when she,

When she just pierces finally through the illusion,

Right?

And who helps her with that?

The dog.

Dog is pulling on the curtain,

Right?

And what,

What do we know about dogs?

They're love.

Dogs are love.

I mean,

It's such an amazing story.

And so I think that's why it's so it's such a classic story.

All the elements,

Just like every Bible story is a story.

It's not about history.

It's about consciousness,

Right?

And because the dog is filled with love,

Is not giving into any fear whatsoever.

And the dog is like,

Look,

It's an illusion,

Right?

And what does he tell Dorothy?

Oh,

No,

Not here.

What does the good witch tell Dorothy,

Right?

Let's say the good witch is her soul.

Let's just put that as part of the metaphor.

Everything you always wanted is within you.

If as long as we think that we want something outside or there's something wrong with the system of life,

We are opening the door to fear.

That's one of the,

That's one of the indicators that you said before,

You know,

About your,

You know,

Your level of spiritual growth to the level we have fear about anything is to the level that we see where,

How much more spiritual we need to be or grow in our path.

And there's no right or wrong.

There's no good or bad.

Oh,

You know,

I,

I always like to warn against being a spiritual phony.

Oh,

I can't be afraid anymore because I listened to the podcast and now it's not spiritual to be fearful.

So I'm not going to be fear.

Please don't do that.

Wherever we are on our path is exactly where we need to be part of our process.

So you just judge yourself or measure yourself against who you were yesterday.

If yesterday you were afraid to stand up to somebody,

Why are you afraid to stand up to that person?

What,

In what way did you give your power away,

That person that you have fear from that person?

I see that all the time.

By the way,

Another shameless plug,

But I truly believe in the class I gave recently called spiritual self-defense,

Which is how to spot a predator,

How to avoid being in a predatory or boundary violation,

Violating relationship.

Someone is asking about that right now in the comments.

Is it okay to distance ourselves from anyone who treats us badly?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

But the question to ask yourself is what was that about for me?

I gave my power away to their opinion of me that's more important than my opinion of me.

Think about what we do.

If we're afraid of somebody,

Oh,

They're not going to like me.

The Rob Berg used to always say,

He said the worst disease or the worst addiction of all addictions is approval addiction.

We take all of our power and give it away to an illusion.

What do you care what that person thinks?

You're going to see them again?

You guys should tell me my embarrassing story.

I have to tell this now.

Did I tell you the story,

What happened on Rosh Hashanah?

No.

Okay.

I believe in throwing myself under the bus,

Not because I don't love myself,

Because I believe,

First of all,

My opponent is playing with my head.

One of the other ways the opponent plays with our head is we have to look good and not look bad.

Isn't that a fear?

Oh my God.

I'm so afraid.

That's the rejection.

I have to look good.

It's approval addiction.

I'm so afraid of what they're going to say about me.

Long story short,

We had the privilege of being together in the high holidays of Rosh Hashanah.

Social distance.

Of course.

Only politically correct,

Right?

Anyway,

I won't even touch that line.

Anyway,

So we're walking down the street,

There's a whole bunch of teachers.

It was really great,

I have to say,

Because it's very rare that the teachers get to be with each other on the holidays.

We're busy with our students all the time.

Because we were socially distanced and we were very limited,

It was a small group,

Whatever.

A bunch of us were walking down one of the streets of Manhattan.

We're going from the west side to the east side.

There's all these teachers.

I was walking in the back with a teacher that,

He's so fascinating and he's filled with so much knowledge and we're talking Zohar and I'm just like,

Oh my God,

This is amazing.

This is incredible.

What a day.

I'm so busy with myself.

I'm so happy with myself.

What a manifestor.

I just feel oh so good,

All that.

Meanwhile,

While we're having this spiritual conversation and I'm feeling so righteous,

By the way,

What I didn't realize is that I was wearing pantyhose and my dress was riding up all the way up past my panty line with assets.

So what happened was we just finished crossing Madison Avenue and we see a bunch of people across the street screaming,

But,

But you're like,

But yeah,

But yeah,

First I thought they were saying,

But yeah.

And then I said,

Well,

Is there a cigarette,

But did I?

And then I luckily my husband happened to be standing in front of me.

So he was now behind me.

He runs over and pulls my dress down.

It was too late.

Like I said,

I I've advertised my voluptuous assets all over Madison Avenue.

Now that was like such an incredible opportunity for the opponent to come right in there and just dump a whole bucket load of fear right on me.

Oh my God.

I'm so embarrassed.

I'm just,

You know,

Especially when I was so high on my pedestal over there.

Boom.

Yeah.

Next thing I know.

And the gutter.

And I was just,

First I was mortified for about 60 seconds and then I just started laughing.

I mean,

So what?

So everybody saw my butt,

You know,

I can lucky them.

People pay money for that.

So I'm just saying that in another frame of mind,

I could have been like completely traumatized,

Devastated,

Traumatized.

I'm never wearing pantyhose again or,

Or,

Or I'm going to wear a coat everywhere.

I in case my dress rise up again.

Forget about it,

But you know what I mean?

I encourage you,

Whatever it is,

Your that to look fear in the face and,

And think about what is it?

What is the story behind that fear?

Who told you you're not okay?

Who told you you're not worthy?

Who told you you need somebody else's approval?

Who told you that?

Because they lied.

They absolutely lied.

And when you do that,

When you take back your power,

Whether it's fear of not looking good,

Fear of people's rejection,

You know what's more important than other people's rejection?

Is your rejection of yourself.

You know,

It's,

You know,

It's more important than other people's acceptance of you,

Your acceptance of yourself.

What do I think?

What do I feel?

What about how do I feel about it?

That's their opinion.

Now,

What's my opinion?

When you do that,

Wow,

Your self empowerment goes right up.

Well,

Going,

You know,

The example of,

Of fear of rejection,

Whether it's from family,

Coworkers,

You know,

Anybody on the planet,

It's people on the street looking at your butt,

Right?

The,

For most people,

The fear is actually of discomfort.

Of?

What's uncomfortable?

So I'm saying that the value you put on it.

No,

But let's say we had a question from somebody who's watching us talking about,

You know,

The example that I said before,

You're becoming spiritual and he's afraid to come out spiritual to his family who's very religious.

Okay.

Okay.

What's the fear there?

We might have to have some really difficult conversations.

Been there,

Done that.

So I'm saying that the many times if we look deeper,

Right,

The,

The technique of and then what and then what and then what you find out that you're not really afraid of the rejection or the failure or the,

Or investing more energy,

You're actually just addicted to comfort.

And your addiction to comfort has you afraid of being uncomfortable.

So deeper levels of that too.

I would say,

Let's say parents use it as a weapon in parenting.

Unfortunately it's true.

You better do that or you know,

That's,

That's unfortunate.

That happens a lot.

You know,

We have a source all the time.

We better do that.

Well,

But so looking at those examples where we,

You know,

We're not going to our next level because we're,

Of course you said before,

Number one,

Fear is public speaking.

I would say number two is probably death.

And number three falls into the failure,

Rejection,

Et cetera.

Category,

The fear of abandonment.

Let's say,

You know,

Let's take a child when the parent threatens a child using the tool of fear,

Right?

So what is as a child,

Right?

What do we think?

Well,

My house is the world and my parents are God and God is abandoning me and I can die or not do my spiritual work or you know,

Whatever I came here to do.

I mean,

People have so much fear of the unknown.

Death is the big unknown.

Been there,

Done that.

It's a big unknown for most people.

So the beauty of this,

Of this conversation,

It's such a great liberating conversation by the way,

Because I think this is like that,

That stick that we will beat ourselves up with.

The opponent gives us a little drop of doubt and then we just take it over and just boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

All day long.

We're busy reacting to our fears and try to cope with our fears,

Which I disagree with coping with our fears.

I say,

Drop it.

Look at it in the face because like you said,

It's smoke and mirrors.

Now there are things,

But the,

By the way,

That's healthy fears.

Let's just put that on the table.

Like I'm afraid to jump off of the empire state building.

I think that's a good fear.

By the way,

Being afraid of the dentist,

If it helps you take good care of your teeth,

That's awesome also.

Yeah,

That's true.

But paralyzing,

There are people that that kind of fear paralyzes them so that they don't enjoy life.

Right.

We have to be careful of that also.

Well I need to balance that,

But I'm just going to say like,

You know,

Don't do crazy things.

I saw this guy,

We had an event once and the person parked his car,

Of course,

A six lane highway at night.

He was wearing a black suit on top of it and he's crossing in the middle of these cars where you know,

Rushing by and he's crossing the street and not only does this genius,

He crosses the street but doesn't go on the side where he starts walking in the street like by the curb of the street because he doesn't want to take the next step to step up to the curb,

Towards the building.

He starts walking all the way up till he gets to an incline or the parking driveway,

Right,

And then he walks in and my stomach,

My heart just jumped into my throat.

Oh my God.

I said,

Oh my God,

This guy's a goner,

Right?

And I just shocked and I said to him,

Why did you do such a crazy thing?

He says,

I have certainty.

Well my friends,

That's not certainty,

That's stupidity.

Stupidity,

That's not certainty.

That's total stupidity.

Certainty doesn't mean that life is going to go my way.

Certainty means that whatever shows up is exactly what needs to happen and it's for my benefit.

If you go through life,

That everything's happening for your benefit,

What is there to be afraid of really?

Well that's the cap on the smoke and mirrors conversation is that the universe most often doesn't need us to go through the wall,

But just needs to see our willingness.

That I think is an important piece to,

Especially those of you that are,

Well,

But that's what I'm saying.

In the same way that people who seek discomfort are constantly uncomfortable,

People who are willing to be uncomfortable don't have to go through that same level of discomfort,

Right?

So the universe is going to give us what's best for us in any given moment,

Whether it's painful or not is up to us in our perspective of it,

Right?

So when I,

My favorite example is you have a birthday party or there's some celebration and you're worried you're going to have to speak.

I'm not saying you and me,

I'm saying in the world out there,

A lot of people get nervous when they are going to have to speak.

So how many times,

You can raise your hand,

How many times have you prepared for the speech and not had to give it?

I've been relieved.

But my point is that you said,

You know what,

If I have to do it,

I'm going to do it.

Here's my note card with the five points I want to make.

And then in the end,

Doesn't happen.

But let's talk about public speaking.

What is so frightening about public speaking?

I'm a recovering fear of public speaker.

Okay.

My name is Ellie Shiva.

Yeah.

Well,

The listeners know this about this.

I used to not be able to order food at a restaurant.

I would tell whoever I'm eating with what I want and they would tell the waiter or waitress what I would like to order.

And why was that Batman?

To be honest with you,

I can't re I think it was such a,

It was a fear of rejection.

It was a fear of,

Um,

I'm,

You know,

Maybe it's also a low,

Low self worth it.

My voice isn't valuable enough to be heard by more than just me.

I honestly don't remember.

Well,

Isn't it boiled down to what do people think of me?

They're going to reject me.

Yeah.

They're going to humiliate me.

Humiliation,

Rejection.

They're going to make fun of me.

Well,

That is rejection,

Right?

It's booming because we want this other people's approval.

When you think of it.

I think,

I think that there was also a degree of,

You know,

It's better just to be quiet,

Better not to be heard,

Better not to make waves,

Better not to express your desire,

You know,

Like that kind of,

Because that's the reactive life strategy to a broken belief about oneself.

For sure.

I'm not worthy.

Right.

Who told us we're not worthy?

We've got to go back to the Garden of Eden again.

Right.

That's snake.

There's that opponent says I'm not worthy.

I'm not worthy of love.

I'm not worthy of public speaking.

My opinion doesn't count.

Let's talk about,

We don't have that much time left,

But I want to talk about how to use fear,

Not let fear use you.

Okay.

You have three minutes.

Okay.

Now I'm afraid of what I'm going to say.

You know,

Fear can be a motivator too,

Right?

So we don't want to like,

We need fear.

I want to just put that on the table.

We need fear just the way we need a trainer.

If we're going to be a boxer,

If we want to get better at a sport,

We must have that pushback force that get that resistant force that shows us where we need to improve in order to reach our ultimate goal.

And fear is the mechanism that helps us get strength,

Stronger certainty.

Exactly.

And the purpose of fear is to overcome fear.

So when we're confronted with fear,

We can do two things.

We can react to it and just fall apart and become a slave to it.

We can realize it's an opportunity to resist the illusion of whatever's going on,

That that person's more important than me,

That my person is going to whatever,

That I have to obey that person,

And that way I don't have any other choices over them.

But we can also use fear as a motivator too,

Right?

So when the doctor says,

Hey,

You better go change your diet and exercise,

Et cetera,

Because the way you're living your life right now,

You're going to be dead in a year or two.

Well,

That's a wonderful motivator.

Say,

Hey,

I don't want to die.

I want to live.

I want to be healthy.

I want to have a great future,

Whatever.

We could also use fear in that way,

But not that it controls us,

But that it actually can motivate us.

The other thing about fear is right behind the smoke and mirrors is the light,

Just right behind it,

Just right beyond it.

That's all we have to do is just poke our fingers.

I like the example of the brick wall.

If you're afraid of what's on the other side of the brick wall,

Once you find a way to climb over it or around it,

You realize it was made of smoke and mirrors and you could have walked right through it.

To me,

You could have walked right through it.

It wasn't real,

But for whatever reason,

You spent that time and energy strategizing,

How am I going to get around it?

How am I going to get over it?

When you could have just,

Like Batya said,

Poked it with your finger and realized it's easier said than done.

I just want to put that on the table.

Everybody's got their own level.

Everybody's got their own weak part.

The opponent forces very smart and knows exactly where to go with each and every one of us to press that button,

To kidnap our self-esteem and hold it ransom while it blackmails us.

One of the ways also that you can help yourself to overcome fears or push your finger through the smoke and mirrors is to tell on your opponent like I just did.

Tell on your opponent.

I said I threw myself under the bus.

I didn't really throw the opponent under the bus.

The opponent says,

Hey,

You should be embarrassed.

When you don't give your power away,

Wow,

The possibilities are endless.

I do encourage you,

Don't let the opponent force play with your head.

Keep asking,

What's this really all about?

Where are my opportunities?

Where's the opponent trying to steal my life force energy through fear?

You don't have to buy into it.

Don't accept it.

Question,

Question,

Question.

Push back a little bit.

Question,

Is it real?

What happens if?

What if it doesn't happen?

What's going to happen then?

You said very,

Very powerful tools.

I encourage you to use that.

Most of all,

Breathe and be grounded.

When we're breathing,

When we're grounded,

Then we could see things and we don't want something from someone else,

Then we could see things a lot clearly.

Re,

E,

Era,

We see better.

This is just the beginning of a conversation that we're going to continue through the entire month of Scorpio.

Next week,

We'll be talking about phobias and anxieties and what does it mean when a fear becomes so fury,

Fearful?

Paralyzing.

Paralyzing that we embody it and how to work through that.

We'll also be talking about tools for overcoming fear from the Kabbalistic point of view.

We have a lot of great stuff planned for you this month.

Share the show,

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And we'll see you next week on the Weekly Energy Boost.