The 4 Types Of People

In this talk, Ektaji describes the four types of people - Happy, Unhappy, People doing some good, and people who are doing sinful actions. The wise one knows how to deal with each kind of person. Be happy with happy people as it brings belongingness; Have compassion for the unhappy ones; Appreciate people who are doing meritful action and educate the people who are involved in sinful actions and move on.

Transcript

Jai Gurukul.

Look at the peace in the mind right now.

You can see it.

Who takes away this peace?

Three factors,

People,

Situations and things.

There is no fourth factor under the sun.

It's either some person,

It's either a situation or a thing.

Situations are not in my hands,

They come,

They happen,

They go,

I cannot do much.

Things come into life and go away.

But people,

I can learn to deal with them.

Subbata Angeli says there are four types of people.

What are these four types of people?

One,

People who are very happy.

Have you noticed some people are just happy?

Always smiling,

Always happy.

What happens to me when I see somebody always happy?

What starts happening to me?

I feel jealous.

He has everything in the world.

I've seen this.

My mind gets trapped.

He has something I don't have.

So to get out of this my own mind strap of jealousy,

Patanjali has laid down four principles how to deal with these four types of people.

So with a happy person,

What should you do?

First,

Read it.

My three,

Friendship.

Be friendly with happy people.

Because what does friendship do,

Tell me?

When I have friendship in the heart for somebody?

There's a belongingness.

You have a belongingness with people in your family?

With your own mother and father,

Are you jealous of your mother?

No,

No.

See,

That's the quality of belongingness of Maitri,

Of friendliness.

It takes away jealousy.

So if you notice that you have some jealousy of some person who has maybe a million dollar house or that awesome Rolls Royce car or that Audi or Mercedes that you want,

You cultivate Maitri in your heart for him or her.

That is the first kind of people.

With happy people,

What should I do?

My three,

Friendship.

What are the second type of people,

Tell me now?

Sad.

Sad.

Unhappy people.

How do I deal with unhappy people?

Compassion.

Karuna.

Karuna is compassion.

Is it okay to be friendly with an unhappy person?

Yes.

They'll pull you down.

Have you noticed if somebody,

Some two,

Three people are sitting and complaining,

This is bad,

That is bad,

That is bad,

You go and sit there,

You also start complaining.

Some two or three people are sitting and talking good things,

Happy things about life,

You also start talking happy things.

Have you noticed?

So if somebody is unhappy,

His aura can pull you down.

So with such a person,

Have compassion.

Karuna.

You don't have to tell him,

Oh I'm compassionate with you.

You don't have to say anything to him.

These sutras are for me internally.

Get it?

I could be in that situation.

Whatever he is unhappy about right now in life,

I could have been there.

Right?

So cultivate Karuna for somebody who is unhappy.

Now unhappy is not just a person who is,

Oh this happened bad and that happened bad in life.

But generally people who are just negative about everything,

Complaining,

Oh she is bad,

Criticizing,

He is bad,

They are actually unhappy.

Only a person who is unhappy constantly criticizes.

Do you know this?

One hidden secret.

Notice a person who constantly criticizes actually an unhappy person inside.

So have Karuna for such a person.

Karuna is compassion.

Not pity.

What is pity?

Daya.

Pity is when I look down upon somebody and say,

Oh poor thing.

No poor thing.

He or she is not poor thing.

I could be in that place.

This could have happened to me.

This is Karuna.

This is compassion.

With love then from that space of love and compassion,

I deal with the person.

Got it?

You got the difference?

So with a happy person,

Maitri.

With an unhappy person,

Karuna.

What is the third type of person?

People who are doing good.

Good for the society,

Good for friends,

Who are doing meritful actions.

Always doing something or the other good.

What happens when I see somebody who is doing good?

What is the tendency of the mind?

But what is the general tendency of the mind?

It is death that they are doing so much for the society.

And then sometimes we also get into critical mode.

Oh he is doing this but he is not doing this.

Art of living organization is doing this,

This,

This.

But see there are so many flaws.

Didn't your mind say that at least once?

It is the tendency of the mind to find flaws in a meritful action.

Somebody doing something good.

Don't blame yourself.

This is the tendency of the mind.

Everybody's mind is like that.

So if you see somebody good in art of living,

You will say few praises in the mind but you will also come up with a negative thing.

This is the tendency of the mind.

So we are using these formulae to protect our own mind.

That person doesn't even know.

This is for us.

So recognize,

Oh it's the tendency of my mind when I see somebody do something good.

It tends to criticize,

Tends to find a flaw.

Yes?

This is the tendency of the mind.

I do not blame myself for it.

I understand this and then I start working on myself.

So I cultivate what?

What is the third?

Mudito.

What is mudito?

I feel happy.

If my own child or my own brother,

Sister,

Sibling did something good,

How I would feel?

I'm so happy,

So proud.

You're doing a great job.

The moment this person is outside your family or community,

See how you start trying to find faults.

So where is the problem?

I did not feel that happiness that I would feel for my own doing something good.

Observe this.

Very very cruel the mind is,

Very shrewd.

You recognize this.

So cultivate mudita.

Mudita is happiness for anybody and everybody who is doing a good action.

Something meritful,

Something good for the society.

And what is the fourth type of person?

What type of people?

Not doing good.

Those who are doing bad actions.

Who are doing bad things in society.

Harming people,

Harming other people's emotions,

Hurting other people,

Hurting you.

People doing sinful actions.

What do you do?

Tell me.

What is the tendency of the mind?

How do you deal with these people?

There's hatred inside you.

Have you noticed?

This hatred is spoiling you only.

It's not even affecting that person.

This hatred is like garbage that I am collecting within me.

So the fourth thing that Patanjali laid down,

What do you have for them?

Upeksha.

Upeksha means what?

Educate them,

Then ignore.

This is very essential.

You cannot just ignore a person who is doing bad things.

You educate,

You take an action in that direction.

Some good action that will help the other person help me or help the society.

But after that,

Drop this expectation that that person should listen to me.

He could be in his or her own ego.

That is up to him or her.

But from my side,

My job is to educate,

Then ignore.

Both together.

Very important.

Observe yourself.

Do you do that?

When somebody does something bad,

Either you are just screaming,

Screaming,

Screaming,

Screaming,

Screaming,

And continuously screaming or shouting or criticising.

Either you're just stuck on the education part or you just say,

I don't care.

You ignore.

Are you seeing this?

If you're tilting to either side,

You have not completed the action.

Both together.

Educate,

Then ignore.

People who are doing sinful actions.

Got it?

These are the four ways of dealing with these four types of people.

What are they?

Quickly?

Happy people?

Vaitri.

Friendliness.

Unhappy people?

Compassion.

Corona.

Third?

People who are doing good.

What should I do?

I should feel happy.

And fourth?

People who are doing bad?

Educate.

Educate and ignore.

Uteksha.

This will really help you a lot.

Start working on this.

Take this as the homework for the week.

This week,

All the kinds of people that I meet,

I'm going to put them in either of these four categories and I'm going to work on this within me.

You don't have to tell the other person,

Oh,

I am happy for you.

Or I am your friend.

You don't have to tell anything to the other person.

It's not for the other person.

Who is this for?

It's for me,

For my own mind.

Do you get it?

So put this in action this week.

Take this as this week's homework.

Good?

Reviews

Very insightful talk with practical advice!