Self Inquiry 4 - Self Enquiry Theory

Listen to Ektaji talk about Ramana Maharshi's self-inquiry teachings. These teachings are aimed at the experiential understanding of the true nature of the self and that consciousness is the only existing reality.

Transcript

Salaam.

Salaam.

Salaam.

Sri Ramana upheld the view that the notion of individuality is only the I-thought manifesting itself in different ways.

Instead of regarding the different activities of the mind such as ego,

Intellect and memory as separate functions he preferred to view them all as different forms of the I-thought.

Got it?

Ego,

Intellect,

Memory,

Everything is I-thought.

One single umbrella.

Anything that is not letting me stay in awareness,

Taking me aware,

I-thought.

Very very clear?

He has made it very simple,

Straight forward,

Linear.

Since he equated individuality with the mind and the mind with the I-thought,

It follows that the disappearance of the sense of individuality,

That is self-realization,

Implies the disappearance of both the mind and the I-thought.

What is individuality?

Don't get so confused with the words.

They are simple.

What is individuality?

I am something.

I am this person.

I am that person.

Whatever your name,

Your title,

Your role in the family,

Your role in the community,

You have lots of labels that you have put.

Yes?

That is called individuality.

Individuality is not different from the mind.

What has put these labels is the mind,

Ego,

Intellect.

Very clear?

So he is saying individuality and mind are the same.

He equated equal to sign.

Individuality equals to mind.

If you just want to make a note over there.

And mind is equal to I-thought,

Which we already said in the previous sentence.

So removing,

One will remove the others.

Very clear?

So the moment there is disappearance of this individuality,

What disappears?

Mind disappears and I-thought disappears.

So what has to go first?

I am this body.

I am this person.

I am this one's husband.

I am this one's wife.

I am this one's son.

Individuality that we hold on to.

Everything is related to this body-mind complex.

The moment this individuality drops,

You will be in just pure being,

Pure awareness.

That is self-realization.

Simple.

Mind has dropped.

I-thought has dropped.

Everything has dropped.

Clear?

So it's just you in the moment.

Just being in the moment.

It's the same as the experiencing the silence.

You just need to cut down the noise.

Correct.

Simple.

And recognizing what the noise is.

Usually we don't want to recognize.

I want to keep some noise and I want to have silence.

Is it possible?

I have to give up all the noise.

I cannot say,

Oh,

One noise I want to keep and I want to throw the others.

Is something like music focus,

Like say suppose we are in a conversation and then we lose at some point,

But we just are still talking but we have already lost.

Is that also a contest?

You have lost awareness.

That is the moment you have lost awareness.

Not because of the noise.

Not because I am still engaging with you.

So this engagement itself is noise.

I have identified it as just a noise.

Nothing that my mind can take is coming out.

What do you mean by nothing that my mind can take is coming out?

We are in a wrong environment,

In a conversation we are in wrong circles.

Like same,

Same,

Same.

So at some point you can break through and say like you know,

Nothing is getting there.

This has to stop.

So that moment you become aware.

For a second the mind stopped,

The awareness happened.

What nonsense am I getting into?

This is all drama.

And then the mind put it into words and said let's stop this.

So before,

After the drama and before this sentence that you said cut the drama,

There was this moment that happened to you.

That moment of silence.

We have all experienced it.

We get into that awareness and what am I doing?

I this great meditator is shouting and screaming,

Is doing drama.

I the spiritual teacher,

I the spiritual person.

And that happens and then you put it into words and say let's cut the drama.

But you do become aware.

So you have recognized glimpses of this awareness.

Now I am telling you become so interested in it that you get established there and it's super easy.

That peace is awesome.

I am not a slave to this.

That's another level.

Another level.

It's like having a power.

And you know that you have this power.

It's another level.

But it's very achievable.

Only you have to have that much interest in yourself instead of others.

So you can all get there.

The only thing is individuality needs to drop.

Does that mean I have to run away?

I have to be right here.

But not attached to my individuality.

This I the wife,

I the husband,

I the child,

I this,

I that,

I the teacher,

That also,

Everything.

It's not me.

It's just happening.

It's a very simple thing to achieve,

Provided you weaken your ego.

What stops you?

The ego doesn't like this.

See,

There is one part of you that is very restless inside.

Are you noticing it?

It's like one corner of the rest of your mind is very interested,

Is listening to this wisdom.

But there is this little corner that is very restless.

It's like no,

No,

No,

No.

I can't get this.

No,

No,

No.

Something else.

No,

No,

No,

No.

But the intellect is powered by what?

What's its charging happening?

Ego.

Ego is doing that.

Intellect is only speaking.

The intellectual logical reasoning comes out from the intellect.

But the power is the ego.

He is very restless inside.

The ego has the resistance to work on it.

The ego says,

Oh,

This is too much work.

Didi,

When like what she said,

Like you know,

A lot of times you can spot your ego.

Either you are feeling bad or something,

You achieve something,

You can easily say,

Oh,

My ego is feeling,

Is getting inflated.

What should I,

I kind of distract myself in those situations to move away from that.

Yeah,

Just ignore the ego.

It's like little kid sitting in the middle of Walmart and screaming,

I want this toy right now.

What do you do?

The more you look at him,

The more you say no later,

Later,

The more he is going to scream.

What did you do?

You walk away.

Then he cries for two minutes and then he comes running behind you,

Mama,

Mama,

Papa,

Papa.

That's what you do.

It's simple.

Yeah,

You feed the ego.

Then you get into trouble.

Then you know what kind of a relationship you have with your kid,

Where it has taken you,

You know.

Yeah,

You know where it has taken you.

You don't feed the ego.

One pince,

You have to find the way to puncture it.

Yeah,

The faster you learn to puncture your own ego,

The easier your spiritual path becomes.

Its speed becomes super fast because it's got nothing to do with others.

It's all about me.

Others are not involved here.

It's about I.

Yeah,

So this is the way I have to go.

I just puncture every little thing that every doubt it comes up with,

Everything that it tries to pull me down with.

If I just cut those cords,

I'm only going to go up now.

Get it?

So your job to do that.

Yeah,

I cannot keep reminding you.

You have to do that continuously.

Let's read ahead.

So mind is equal to I thought is equal to individuality and dropping of individuality equals to dropping of mind,

Dropping of I thought.

This is confirmed by his frequent statements to the effect that after self-realisation there is no thinker of thoughts.

There is no performer of actions and no awareness of individual existence.

This is the meaning of individuality dropping off.

Yeah,

Right now you feel I think that I think drops away.

There are thoughts.

Yeah,

I am doing this action.

I am the father.

I am the breadwinner of the family.

There is this I right now.

It will change to automatically that food is coming onto the table.

Job is getting done.

Life is happening.

It changes from an active I am doing to it is happening.

A passive statement.

You observe this change happening in you.

That's how you recognise,

Oh,

You know,

That do worship in me has dropped.

The big ego has somehow dwindled away.

It's a natural happening.

You cannot push it.

It will happen.

An inevitable happening.

It just is.

I am not doing it.

It just is.

OK.

Some people call it luck.

Call it luck.

Yeah.

Soon they get to the point that it is all happening.

Yeah.

Then they stop that word also luck.

Yeah,

Because then the moment you put the word luck,

Then what do you want?

You want more luck.

And then you pray and then you get into rituals and you get into everything that you had put in the parking lot.

Yeah.

Then it's not anymore what I'm experiencing.

So drop that word also.

Right now,

I don't know.

Is this another belief?

Since he upheld the notion that the self is the only existing reality.

Or the absolute awareness is the only existing reality,

He regarded the I thought as a mistaken assumption which has no real existence of its own.

Very clear,

This absolute awareness,

That glimpse that you got,

He says that is reality.

So I thought all these I'm doing,

I'm thinking,

I am working,

I am running the family.

These I thoughts are just a mistaken assumption.

They have no real identity.

We'll get there.

We haven't gotten there.

We are just learning how that state is.

He explained its appearance by saying that it can only appear to exist by identifying with an object.

When thoughts arise,

The I thought claims ownership of them.

I think,

I believe,

I want,

I am acting,

But there is no separate I thought that exists independently of the objects that it is identifying with.

Are you getting this?

Yes?

It needs an object to identify with.

Maybe in one of your absolute silent quiet meditations where your mind became very quiet,

Maybe it's happened to you,

Where there was no thoughts,

No feelings,

No sensations,

Even the body was quiet,

Even your mind was quiet.

Maybe you have reached the stage where everything was so quiet and suddenly a feeling first came up and then you noticed the I come up and said,

Oh,

I am feeling this or I am hurting.

That's the best way to recognize that first an object naturally arises and then the identification happens with it.

It's very possible in silent meditations to notice this.

If you are aware again,

If you are lost in a trance,

Oh,

I was blissed out,

Then you were conked out,

You were sleeping.

You just like to call it nice words.

Meditation is meditation only when you are 100% aware.

And if you were aware in that quiet state of the mind and you saw the quietness,

You would have recognized that you are in pure awareness.

And then that feeling came up and suddenly the I comes up and says,

My feeling.

Yeah,

Some lucky people get to experience this.

Yeah,

This can happen in the daytime also.

If you keep practicing awareness,

You'll notice the I thoughts reduce,

You become quieter and quieter and quieter,

And the silence of this awareness becomes more.

And suddenly you'll notice there is a pain in the body or there is a thought that comes and suddenly the I comes and says my thought or my feeling.

Yeah,

Identification always happens later.

First a sensation comes up,

First a thought comes up on its own.

The quieter you get into meditation,

The easier it is to recognize this phenomena that I'm talking about.

So that's what he's saying that it is a mistaken assumption and the I think,

I want,

I am acting.

There are no separate I thoughts existing independently.

There's always awareness.

It cannot exist without that awareness being there and that I always holds on to an object.

Yeah,

That I feels all weak.

It cannot exist without a support.

Yeah,

So we'll get there when we get there.

So the sensation arises from nothingness.

So you have the flow of karma,

Sanskaras,

That has made up this body called Bina.

Yeah,

This flow is continuing and this flow has seeds.

These seeds will sprout at their own time,

Maybe for that particular pain to sprout right now was the time it broke out of its seed and the sapling came out.

The sensation comes up.

Same happens for a thought.

That's why so many times you think this is not my thought.

I don't think like this from where did this thought come?

And you say that a hundred times in a day sometimes if you're really aware there is always a first thought that comes on its own and then you start self-talk with that thought.

But that first thought comes on its own.

You don't bring up first thoughts.

First thought comes on its own.

Then you start inside.

This happened,

Then this happened,

Then I said,

Then this happened,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

The self-talk happens later.

First thought is like the first seed breaking and that sapling coming out.

Get it?

Just because of your karma,

Sanskaras.

Everybody has it.

It's not her.

All of us have our own karma,

Sanskaras because of which thoughts come up,

Sensations or feelings come up,

Certain emotions come up.

Sometimes certain memory comes up and you're like,

Why am I thinking about this?

This is a childhood memory.

It's got nothing to do with the present moment.

It was,

It's time to sprout.

Get it?

Don't react.

Don't get into self-talk.

Then what have you done?

Take a modification.

Yeah.

So I have cut off the modification from increasing.

Otherwise,

If I start talking,

What am I doing?

I'm feeding it.

This has increased.

I'm going on the self-talk,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

In my own head,

I'm going on and on.

You know,

Self-talk is not normal,

Right?

Are you just doing sometimes?

Really be honest,

Pawan?

Natural thought.

Who's doing this?

Who's restless right now?

Ego.

He wants to.

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

Hold on to something.

Give some justification.

Stop it.

Not only him.

He's just a scapegoat.

All your egos are doing it.

Check.

Be with the truth.

The truth is I go on and on and on and on.

And sometimes it's on autopilot.

The wrong thing is on autopilot.

It's going on and I'm doing talking and I'm doing my work.

Everything is going on together.

And I think it's normal.

It's not normal.

It's not normal.

And it breaks the body.

You get stressed out just doing the little.

Correct.

Yeah.

So some of your seniors in the room have done the Buddha retreat where we learned the higher samadhi.

They did the 10 day retreat and they went to the quiet mind state.

And when you're in that absolute pin drop silence in the mind,

Even a pleasant thought seems like it's a thorn.

Even a pleasant thought.

So self-talk is totally out of question there.

So it is a very soft,

Very subtle.

It's a state that you just love being in.

Yeah.

Sorry.

You just exist.

It just there.

So in that state,

When you go to that quiet mind,

Even your most favorite song seems like,

Oh my God,

This song have to come up right now and spoil it.

Yeah.

Imagine a quiet,

Serene lake still.

Even a ripple is a ripple.

It's a disturbance.

I'm getting it.

Yeah.

That quiet,

Serene lake is that absolute awareness.

You don't need to be in self-talk all the time when you are here in that absolute awareness.

With eyes open,

You can have a serene,

Quiet,

Still lake.

It's very possible,

Very possible.

That's how you don't have stress in life.

That's the only way you'll get out of stress when you learn to be established there.

Even in office.

Yeah,

It's not that in office eight hours continuously you are talking or working,

Right?

There are few moments of downtime in that few moments of downtime,

You get recharged by being in this quiet mind,

In the serene lake.

Then again,

Somebody comes.

OK,

You do what needs to be done.

You get your work done.

You're back to your awareness.

Yes.

So it's possible to get there only with initially you start practicing.

So first you practice stage one with eyes open.

Yes.

Even when you are working.

Even when you're working.

So you are in that space,

You don't feel the time.

In eight hours you feel like you've just gone in 30 minutes.

Yes.

Yes.

Let's say I have to clean the house and argue with Shiva why he's not helping me.

Even that 30 minutes takes so much stress in the body.

It feels like work for eight hours.

Yes.

But when I settle with him,

That eight hours passes by like 30 minutes.

Yes.

Yes,

It's true.

So now with eyes open,

Back to the awareness.

Yeah.

The one who's observing this body,

This breath,

Turn it around on himself.

Again and again,

I practice that again and again,

I practice it.

Yes.

More interest in yourself rather than others this weekend.

Can we do that?

All that unnecessary chit chat time that we give at home.

Cut it out today.

Here.

Can we do that for this weekend?

Yeah,

You do what needs to be done.

Give the food,

Clean this,

Do that.

Yeah,

But again,

Back here,

Again,

Back here,

Again,

Back here and we maintain silence.

Yeah,

Because we are not used to doing it with talking also and working also.

So at least let me just be quiet.

Speak only as much as is required to the kid in the family.

Adults can understand.

You just be quiet and just in awareness.

Back to my awareness.

Back to my awareness.

Yeah.

Every time you get lost in some story,

Remind yourself,

Mental modification.

I thought alert back.

Yes.

So let me just finish that.

So he says,

I believe I want I am acting all these.

There is no separate I thought that exists independently of the objects that it is identifying with.

It only appears to exist as a real continuous entity because of the incessant flow of identifications,

Which are continually taking place.

What is incessant flow?

Nonstop.

There's an I this I'm doing this,

Then I said this,

Then I mind this I,

I,

I am noticing it's so fast in your mind that it's almost seems like a continuous.

I really there is no continuous I.

Have you seen played with that flicker book we used to play know that you just flick through it and each has just the picture of the boy standing like this and then the next picture is like this.

The next picture is like this.

The next picture is like this.

So when you flick through the book,

You just see him doing that.

But is he really doing that?

It's a false sense of continuity.

The same thing you have.

You have a false sense of continuity of I.

Really,

There is no I.

It's like movies.

There is no movie.

It's actually so fast.

The pictures are coming one eighth of a second that the human mind thinks that it's a motion picture that we are seeing.

Like that only your I also is just images,

Image after image after image after image.

And you think that this is one continuous I.

This I is called Ekta.

This I is called Amruta.

This I is called Bina.

Do you get it?

There is no I really.

I want you to mull over this a little.

Try and observe it.

When I'm in that awareness,

Is there I?

That will be the true test.

It has to come from your experience,

Not from what Ramana has written.

You try to experience it.

Homework for tonight.

So it's almost like a selfish awareness.

Yes.

You look within and you check is there a continuous I or does it come up only when there is an object to identify with?

When there is no object and I'm just in awareness that pure nothingness that pure quiet.

Where is this so-called I?

So you experiment.

The more you practice,

You can get to that point of at least seeing it for a few seconds.

Then you recognize,

Oh,

There was no I in those few seconds.

For that you have to practice hard.

Yes,

Because you're going to be back here at 9 a.

M.

In the morning.

And by that time you should have the answer.

When you are in the I,

I,

I,

It is entertaining.

Possibly that's why we don't want to come out.

Yes.

The question is,

Where does this I come from?

Why don't you tell me the answer?

Right now I'm saying I.

Yeah,

It's not about using the word I.

It's about here.

It's there very subtly in the mind.

You're not even seeing it to yourself.

It's just an illusion that might be.

Yes,

I recognize it.

It's more like a sensation.

It's a better word in Hindi like an Ahesas.

Huneka Ahesas.

I don't know how to put it in English.

Ahesas.

Realization.

Feeling.

The feeling of I is there.

You have an I feeling.

Continuously it is there.

You don't have to say I.

It's not in words.

You have an I feeling,

A my feeling,

A me feeling.

It is easy also because it's physical.

It's easy to recognize something that is tangible,

Which is physical.

You can touch,

Heal all your senses,

Make it a reality.

Or another thing.

You really have to strive.

Right,

Right.

To recognize it.

See there is an I feeling.

See there is an I feeling.

And see if you can go to the awareness.

The I feeling was missing there.

You come to that experience.

You practice this tonight.

Continuously.

Till the time you come back here in the morning,

You should practice this continuously.

Check can I figure out where the I feeling is present and where is it absent.

I will read that question.

I will stop here.

We will start here tomorrow morning.

This is a book that Kirti gave me.

In this same chapter in this book,

There is a question where he says,

A question which is in all your minds,

Can this path of enquiry be followed by all aspirants?

Isn't it there in your head?

So he says this is suitable only for ripe beings.

If you are ripe,

This is suitable for you.

What should the rest do?

The rest should follow different methods according to the state of their minds.

And what are the other methods?

There is Tutti,

Japa,

Dhyana,

Yoga,

Ghyana.

You know all those things that you have been doing.

And then they are described.

What does a ripe mean?

Ripe.

R-I-P-E.

Ripe.

How do you experience?

If you get it by the end of this weekend,

You are ripe.

Otherwise you are raw.

Katcha Limbu.

Next would be ripe.

So we will see on Sunday whether we are ripe or not yet.

For that you have to really make an effort.

Don't assume it from right now.

Let me make an effort,

Let me practice and we will see on Sunday evening what happens.

Someone from the 10 day retreat asked a question.

The thought that comes up in a quiet mind,

Does that change itself to become I-thought?

Because isn't that awareness itself that has modified into the thought?

Correct.

It is awareness that is modifying into that thought.

So any thought that is disturbing your quiet mind state is an I-thought.

Even if it is about your quiet mind.

Even if it is Ekta's voice echoing in your mind about the meditation or whatever I told you in the Buddha retreat and you are repeating that to yourself,

It is still Ekta.

It is still an external voice.

In awareness there is no voice.

So remember the last stage I was talking about?

From where you drop the Drishta and become Keval Darshan?

That is the point.

That is the point where your Drishta also drops because your Drishta is also looking at something.

And there is this sense-essas of I.

Even if in that quiet mind you are just quiet but somebody knows I am quiet.

Somebody is still there.

Somebody is still living.

Somebody is still breathing.

That I feeling is there.

That is still a mental modification.

How do you reach the highest stage?

When this also drops in that quiet mind,

There is Keval Darshan.

You will not see it.

There is no I remaining to see it.

And then you come up and then you notice,

Oh there was something.

That was awareness.

Do you get it?

Buddha,

Ramana.

Same to same.

All of this also is from the same Vedas.

No,

They are not from the Vedas.

The concept of what we are talking about here,

Whether we call it I,

Whether we call it the soul,

Whether we call it the self,

Whether we call it the consciousness,

Whether we call it the Atman,

Whether we call it the Brahma.

It is that divine energy which allows the eye to see the sight,

Which allows the ears to hear the sound,

Which allows the nose to smell.

It is that life force.

That is what is defined as God.

The essence is all going to be the same.

But just keep all the theory aside otherwise the experience gets infiltrated with that theory.

Then you are lost in intellect.

Then you cannot go to the pure quiet mind state because you are thinking about all these aspects.

That is why he says put everything.

All that is not your experience aside.

Just focus on the experience,

You will get there.

You can get there this weekend.

Provided you are ready to put everything aside and just go with purely what I see right now.

When I am driving,

I can only in the dark night and there are no street lights,

I can see only how much my headlights can go up to,

Say 200 yards.

Only that much I see.

He says you make only that much your experience because as you drive further the 200 yards keeps increasing.

So the light will keep increasing as you move ahead.

So he is saying just focus on that 200 yards.

Don't get into an assumption that this road is there ahead,

There will be light,

I know we are going straight.

Right now it is all dark.

So you be only with the truth that I have only 200 yards of light and that 200 yards of light will keep increasing.

He says that is the fastest way to get there.

Because it is my experience and I cannot doubt my experience.

But if I keep thinking there is a road there,

I had seen it last time,

That person said there is a road.

What if there is no road?

What if something comes in the way?

Then doubts come up because you are trying to manipulate yourself into thinking what is in the dark.

But right now it is in the dark,

No for me.

You see what I am saying?

It is only my experience,

My experience,

My experience,

My experience and I get there.

Then after I get there then I can call it whatever.

I don't call it consciousness,

I can call it Hanuman.

It is still the same.

It doesn't matter what I call it after I get there.

But before I get there,

When I confuse myself with a lot of concepts,

Then I have made a lot of obstacles on my path.

So he says keep everything out,

Only experience,

Only awareness,

Awareness,

Awareness and you get there.

Super clear?

Understood Ramanoh's way?

Easy no?

Now you have to only practice.

It is simple to understand but not easy.

Only when you have that interest in yourself you can get there.

So start practicing,

Your practice starts now and ends at 9 am.

So we don't sleep?

No sleeping.

Good night.

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