Self-Inquiry 20 - Self-Enquiry Practice

Listen to Ektaji talk about Ramana Maharshi's self-inquiry teachings. These teachings are aimed at the experiential understanding of the true nature of the self and that consciousness is the only existing reality.

Transcript

Salaam.

Salaam.

Salaam.

Salaam.

Salaam.

How long can the mind stay or be kept in the heart?

Heart again is the absolute awareness.

The period extends by practice.

What happens at the end of the period?

The mind returns to the present normal state.

Unity in the absolute awareness is replaced by a variety of perceived phenomena.

This is called the outgoing mind.

The heart going mind also means the awareness or the absolute awareness going mind is called the resting mind.

I explained this already.

Yeah,

The outgoing mind is flowing out.

Yeah,

Awareness in motion is mind.

Mind at rest is awareness.

So that is the resting mind.

When one daily practices more and more in this manner,

The mind will become extremely pure due to the removal of its defects and the practice will become so easy that the purified mind will plunge into the absolute awareness as soon as the enquiry is commenced.

Has this started happening for anybody that immediately you jump in?

Yeah,

Okay.

Is it possible for a person who once has had the experience of Satchitananda in meditation to identify himself with the body when out of meditation?

Yes,

It is possible but he gradually loses the identification in the course of his practice.

In the floodlight of the absolute awareness,

The darkness of illusion dissipates forever.

You experience the Satchitananda.

You were all in this oneness for a moment and then again you go back to I.

That is the question.

Does this happen?

Yes,

This will happen.

You will go to the I.

You will do what needs to be done.

You will come back here.

Slowly,

Slowly this identification will drop.

Yes,

This continuous identification of I will drop,

Not the activities.

You will continue as a father.

You will continue as a mother.

You will continue as a wife or husband.

You're doing your duties.

You're doing everything but that attachment,

That I,

Mine,

That reaction,

The drama around the whole thing.

Everything starts dropping away.

The oneness sets in.

The peace now has flown from the background into the foreground.

Once you are in that Satchitananda,

You will naturally feel this flowing out.

Yeah,

So sometimes the I is going to come up because of habit,

Habit,

Previous habit,

No?

Immediately husband comes into the room,

Wife becomes the wife.

When the husband is not in the room,

She's alone.

Is she the wife?

You understand what I'm saying?

So the moment you're out of the Satchitananda,

Suddenly I comes up.

Do you get it?

Yes?

Slowly,

Slowly you will realise,

What?

I'm losing it.

I'm losing my beautiful state of peace and happiness by this coming up and you'll realise you'll withdraw,

You'll realise you'll withdraw.

Then you'll stay here and then keep doing the activities.

So he's saying,

Yes it is possible but it will reduce over time.

Experience gained without rooting out all the vasanas cannot remain steady.

He's giving you the reason because your vasanas are still there,

No?

Means habits are still there.

That is why it's not steady.

Effort must be made to eradicate the vasanas.

Highlight this.

You will have to make an effort.

Yes,

This effort will you'll have to do from your side.

Yeah,

Whichever way you do,

Whether you take vows or you work on yourself individually or you whichever way you want to do it,

You find your way of making that additional effort to eradicate the vasanas.

Of course,

The practice will keep helping you but if you keep lying and keep saying that it's okay to lie,

Then what happens?

You won't be able to stay in that awareness longer.

Your only guilt will keep poking you and pulling you out.

If you keep doing your cunning ways,

Your fraud,

Your corrupt ways,

The egoistic ways,

Your diplomatic ways,

It will keep pulling you out.

You yourself will realize it's not working.

Why is it not working?

Vasanas.

Very clear?

Knowledge can only remain unshaken after all the vasanas are rooted out.

We have to contend against age-long mental tendencies.

They will all go.

Only they go comparatively soon in the case of those who have made sadhana in the past and later in the case of others.

Yeah,

So good job.

You've done sadhana in the past.

It will happen.

Yes,

But now you be very firm.

I have to get over these vasanas.

Whatever you do,

Your lying sneaky,

Stunning ways of the ego,

You already know.

Do these tendencies go gradually or will they suddenly all disappear one day?

I ask this because although I have remained here for a long time,

I do not perceive any gradual change in me.

When the sun rises,

Does the darkness go gradually or all at once?

How can I tell if I am making progress with my inquiry?

So this will help you when you go back home and start practicing.

The degree of the absence of thoughts is the measure of your progress towards self-realization.

That's number one.

Degree of absence of thoughts means you will have certain periods in the mind where there are no thoughts.

There's this absolute quiet silent.

Then the thoughts come back.

Yeah,

And then again after a few days,

This little period that you thought is very small has increased a little more.

And then the thoughts come back.

Yeah,

So this degree you will see is increasing.

Slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly.

So the degree of absence of thoughts.

Very clear.

Yeah.

But self-realization itself does not admit of progress.

It is ever the same.

Means your absolute state of awareness.

It's nothingness.

It's always going to be the same.

So you are wondering,

I'm always in the same nothingness.

There is no progress.

It's nothingness.

Nothingness is nothingness.

It's always going to be the same.

Did you get it?

You can't expect there is a different nothingness.

There is red color nothingness than a blue color nothingness.

Nothingness is nothingness.

Clear?

There you will not be able to see any difference.

The only difference will be absence of thought.

The reduction in the noise in the mind.

Has that really happened or not?

That is your way to know.

The absolute awareness remains always in realization.

The obstacles are thoughts.

Progress is measured by the degree of removal of the obstacles to understanding that the self is always realized.

So thoughts must be checked by seeking to whom they arise.

So you go to the source where they do not arise.

Yeah,

So what is the metric?

The degree of absence of thoughts.

The degree of quietness of mind.

Has your mind become quieter and quieter and quieter?

Less and less and less noise.

That is the way to gauge your progress.

Clear?

Doubts are always arising.

Hence my question.

A doubt arises and is cleared.

Another arises and that is cleared making way for yet another and so it goes on.

So there is no possibility of clearing away all doubts.

See to whom the doubts arise.

Go to their source and abide in it.

Then they cease to arise.

This is how doubts are to be cleared.

So simple.

Yeah,

It is impossible for you to keep looking at each and every single doubt and try to logically and analytically get through it.

One you will get through another will come again.

You'll get through that another will come.

No point in attending to all of them.

Take the sword cut it in one go.

Awareness again and again awareness.

Should I go on asking who am I without answering?

Who asks whom?

Which Bhagana or attitude should be in the mind at the time of inquiry?

What is I the self or the ego?

He just doesn't get it.

In the inquiry who am I?

I is the ego.

The question really means what is the source or origin of this ego?

What does it mean?

What is the source or origin of this ego?

You need not have any Bhavana or attitude in the mind.

The Bhavana is not the Hindi Bhavana.

No need to have any attitude in the mind.

All that is required is that you might give up the Bhavana that you are the body of such and such a description with such and such a name etc.

There is no need to have a Bhavana about your real nature.

It exists as it always does.

It is real and no Bhavana.

But is it not funny that the I should be searching for the I?

That's not the inquiry who am I turn out in the end to be an empty formula?

Or am I to put the question to myself endlessly repeating it like some mantra?

Self-enquiry is certainly not an empty formula and it is more than the repetition of any mantra.

If the inquiry who am I were a mere mental questioning it would not be of much value.

The very purpose of self-inquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source.

It is not therefore a case of one I searching for another I.

Much less is self-inquiry an empty formula for it involves an intense activity of the entire mind to keep it steadily poised in pure self-awareness.

So it is not empty.

It is not a mantra.

Please do not go on who am I who am I who am I who am I that's crazy.

It is just asking that ego a question who are you boss and then looking looking for the answer.

Can you find the ego?

It just vanishes.

Begani shadhi me abduladhi wana.

We are a wedding crasher.

Ego is a wedding crasher.

And when you go to find him he's not there.

So you're really looking for the ego when you're searching you're searching for this I who does not like it who is not feeling good who's not happy or scribbling.

I look for that I and he's nowhere to be found if you find an answer then.

Yeah,

It's coming from the mind.

Yeah,

You're not at the right place.

You turn inwards and be in that awareness.

Just be there just be there just be there.

Is it enough if I spend some time in the mornings and sometime in the evenings for this atma vichara or should I do it always even when I'm writing or walking?

What is your real nature?

Is it writing walking or being the one unalterable reality is being until you realize that state of your being you should pursue the inquiry.

If once you are established in it,

There will be no further worry.

No one will enquire into the source of thoughts unless thoughts arise.

So long as you think I am walking or I am writing enquire who does it?

Simple do it all the time.

That is the answer.

Yeah,

My only writing and only while walking or only in the morning only that time you are the being or what?

No,

You're the being throughout.

Eternal all the time.

So you do the practice all the time short answer.

If I go on rejecting thoughts,

Can I call it vichara?

It may be a stepping stone,

But really which are begins when you cling to your absolute awareness and are already off the mental movement.

The thought waves highlight this investigation begins where?

After you're away from the mind after you've turned around and you are you have clung to that awareness when you are in the awareness.

That's where investigation begins not at the mind beyond the mind you've turned away already from the mind.

There it is the next question then which are eyes not intellectual.

No,

It is under which are inner quest holding the mind and investigating it is advised for a beginner.

But what is mind after all it is a projection of the absolute awareness.

See for whom it appears and from where it rises the I thought will be found to be the root cause.

Go deeper the I thought disappears and there is an infinitely expanded eye consciousness.

You go to the source of the eye.

And there you find that infinitely expanded consciousness.

You want to call it eye consciousness.

That's also fine.

I asked mother in Sri Aurobindo ashram the following question.

I keep my mind blank without thoughts arising so that God might show himself in his true being.

But I do not perceive anything the reply was to this effect.

The attitude is right Bhavana is right.

The attitude is right.

The power will come down from above.

It is a direct experience.

Should I do anything further?

Ramana says be what you are.

There is nothing to come down or become manifest.

All that is necessary is to lose the ego.

That which is is always there.

Even now you are that you are not apart from it.

The blank is seen by you.

You are there to see the blank.

What do you wait for the thought?

I have not seen the expectation to see and the desire of getting something are all the workings of the ego.

You have fallen into the snares of the ego.

The ego says all these and not you be yourself and nothing more.

Once born you reach something.

If you reach it you return also.

Therefore leave of all this verbiage.

Be as you are.

See who you are and remain as the absolute awareness.

Free from birth,

Going,

Coming and returning.

Did you notice the sentence?

He said I am in the blank.

So he's already seeing the blank.

He's already there.

He's already in the awareness and now he's waiting for something to happen over there.

He just doesn't recognize that this is the home.

Yes,

He just doesn't recognize I am home already.

Only that obstruction of the ego needs to be removed.

Only the wrong understanding needs to be removed that something is going to come from above.

Or there's going to be something more.

Only that needs to be removed.

Only that obstruction needs to be removed.

You figure out if you have this kind of wrong conditioning and you are already in that awareness and now you're looking for something great to happen there.

Nothing is going to happen there.

Is this very clear?

If something happens what does it mean?

You're back into the mind.

You're one step behind.

When he says that what else I need to do by that time is already out.

It's already out.

He's looking for something.

Yeah,

Got it.

No.

Yeah,

So you go back and be in the awareness.

Stay there.

Stay there.

How is one to know the absolute awareness?

Knowing the absolute awareness means being the absolute awareness.

Can you say that you do not know the absolute awareness?

Though you cannot see your own eyes and though not provided with a mirror to look in,

Do you deny the existence of your eyes?

No.

You're not seeing a mirror right now,

But you're seeing through your eyes.

Do you deny the existence of your eyes?

You cannot.

Similarly,

You are aware of the absolute awareness,

Even though this absolute awareness is not objectified.

This is not an object in front of me,

But I still know it.

It's there.

Just like that,

You know,

I am.

You don't need I to be the object or you don't need that awareness.

That oneness that you need that you experience to be an object to know it.

When you say I cannot know the absolute awareness,

It means absence in terms of relative knowledge,

Because you have been so accustomed to relative knowledge that you identify yourself with it.

Such wrong identity has forged the difficulty of not knowing the obvious self because it cannot be objectified.

And then you ask,

How is one to know the self?

I've always used to relative knowledge.

Yeah,

I am the subject and I always know the object.

I always need something to relate to that is the meaning of relative knowledge.

So because I'm accustomed to relative knowledge and thinking self also,

I should be able to see or awareness.

I should be able to see.

Is there anything to see there?

Is there anything to really?

Perceive any red light,

Blue light is going to happen.

Some halo is going to come up.

Sure.

Yeah,

Very clear.

All these are only misconceptions,

Wrong ideas.

Very,

Very clear.

No,

Just because I'm used to having something relative to compare with.

It's the same idea I'm taking here,

But this is a totally different reality,

Which actually is the real reality.

This is not reality.

Yeah,

I just think this is real.

Now you understand why the world of people,

Situations and things as I conceive it is unreal.

What is the real thing?

Absolute awareness.

It's there everywhere that oneness.

Yeah.

You talk of being being what your duty is to be and not to be this or that.

I am that I am sums up the whole truth.

What is is.

That's it.

Don't try to put words the moment you try to put words what happens?

Yes,

You add complexity to it and that which is so simple to get to again you condition it.

You make different versions of the same conditioning that is already there out there.

Yeah,

Our job is to remove conditioning not add anymore.

So I am that I am Johai Wohai.

What is is.

I am that I am sums up the whole truth.

The method is summed up in the words be still.

What does stillness mean?

It means destroy yourself.

Because any form or shape is the cause of trouble give up the notion that I am so and so.

All that is required to realize the absolute awareness is to be still.

What can be easier than that?

Hence atma vidya self-knowledge is the easiest to attain.

The truth of oneself alone is worthy to be scrutinized and known.

Taking it as the target of one's attention one should keenly know it in the heart.

This knowledge of oneself will be revealed only to the consciousness which is silent,

Clear and free from the activity of the agitated and suffering mind.

Highlight this.

If someday it is not happening to you check is it because my mind is agitated?

Is it because I am in suffering or I my ego keeps saying oh I am bad.

This is bad.

That is bad.

You're suffering.

Are you in a state of suffering mind or agitated mind or are you unclear or are you not silent?

Are you noisy?

These are the only reasons why this knowledge will not reveal itself to you as in you will not be able to stay in awareness.

Clear?

Know that the consciousness which always shines in the heart as the formless absolute awareness I and which is known by one's being still without thinking about anything as existent or non-existent alone is the perfect reality.

That is the only reality.

Everything else is false.

Now has this become clear?

What is the meaning of this?

So many scriptures you read it in.

Finally your own experience made it clear for you.

Yes,

No melodrama,

No fluff,

No story,

No time pass,

No philosophy,

No masala.

Very to the point.

This is it.

Take it or leave it.

Either you get it or you don't.

Okay,

Amazing.

That's why it's called the direct path.

Impurity is very important.

Very important.

Yeah,

So you start working on your vasanas or mental tendencies.

Yeah,

If you see that there is impurity then that is the reason why I cannot stay in awareness.

Clear?

So you start practicing from now.

Come what may?

How many times a day?

All the time.

Not before going to bed.

Before going to bed is just the reminder and in the morning he says just in that madhyukal,

Just when you're about to wake up,

When you're not totally,

The eye has not taken control and you're not in deep sleep anymore.

That little part there you are very naturally there.

Yeah,

That's a very beautiful moment of the day.

That's when.

.

.

So in that beautiful moment of the day just dissolve,

Just dissolve into that awareness.

In that moment of I I,

You dissolve and you become one with that awareness and then get out of bed.

Yeah,

Bring this into your daily life.

Meditation is meditation only if it reflects in your personality.

Do you get it?

If it does not reflect in your personality,

It is not the right kind of meditation.

Drop it.

Don't meditate.

Be.

Don't meditate.

Be.

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