Saint Kabir's teachings on Love - Session 1

Listen to Ektaji talk about Saint Kabir's teachings on love. These teachings are aimed at helping a true seeker walk the path of truth to find the source of love which is located within each one of us and to experientially understand it.

Transcript

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So Kabir's teachings on love.

Whenever we speak about love,

We are usually referring to romantic love,

You know,

Love between two partners or spouses or a girlfriend,

Boyfriend.

Or we are referring to the love between the parent and child or between two friends.

Is that what Kabir is speaking about?

Kabir's poetry has been used in a lot of Bollywood films.

Huh?

So you might think that that is what Kabir is speaking about,

But no.

Kabir's is speaking about the source of love.

Yeah,

The source of love.

Source means from where the love originates,

From where it begins.

So the entire session on Kabir's teachings on love this weekend has only one key that you need to understand.

And what is the key?

Finding the source of love.

Understanding what is the source of love.

Source simply means from where does it originate.

Where is love born?

Yeah,

That is the meaning of the source of love.

Yeah,

You would say why source?

Why do I need a source?

Why can't I just be happy with simple love the way I know it?

Yeah,

Then I will say,

Okay,

I have water in this mug and can you live with this water for the rest of your life?

You would say no.

I need to refill this.

So for that I need the source of water.

Similarly,

In life,

If we do not know the source of love,

We become very dry,

Very parched.

Honestly,

Look within this weekend.

Aren't you dry?

Aren't you parched?

Even when you express love,

Most of the times it's just a show.

It's just a pretense.

It's just because I am a mother,

I am a father,

I am supposed to do this.

I am a spouse,

I am supposed to express.

Have you noticed the mind telling you this story?

Oh,

I am supposed to do this and that is why I pretend.

And then you believe your story so well.

The mind has convinced you about this story so perfectly that you even forget that you're pretending.

You've come onto stage and you've forgotten that you are just acting right now.

Nobody is to be blamed here.

We have to just recognize the tendency of this mind.

It's that simple.

When we look within,

We realize we are really dry.

We are not so dry.

We are not so dry.

We realize we are really dry.

We are really parched.

That love is not there within.

And without finding the source,

How can I refill this cup of love?

I will just keep jumping from one relationship to another.

You know why we do that?

Simply because we look for love in the other person.

You give me love.

If you give me love,

Then I want to be in this relationship.

I am only begging for love from outside because I'm very dry and parched inside.

That is why we keep jumping from one relationship to another.

We keep jumping from one friend to another.

We keep jumping from one colleague to another.

And really everything in your life that you do,

You do only for love.

And if you change it,

Even if it is your career,

Your job,

Whatever,

It is because of this lack that you're feeling inside.

This sense of lack is something that haunts us.

So even on a very loud boisterous festival day,

Somewhere deep inside you're feeling lonely.

You're feeling dry and parched.

Outside there is all festivities.

There's all color.

There is all fun.

There's so much happening but inside there is a sense of lack.

No point.

There is no point trying to find it here.

The correct direction is here.

This is where I am supposed to look.

This is what needs to be attended to.

By trying to decorate my external,

My internal dryness does not go away.

Are you seeing where we are going with this?

Yeah.

We don't want to find love in another object.

We don't want to find love in another person.

We want to locate the source of love.

When I know the source,

I will have a continuous unlimited supply.

If I just go and try to fill one cup from somebody else,

I will be at peace only till that cup lasts.

Once that diminishes,

Diminishes and is over,

That's when the problems begin in that relationship.

And every person is looking for love.

Every person.

But every person pretends that I am here to give you love.

The hidden agenda behind this is I want love from you in return.

Right?

Recognize this tendency of the mind.

Recognize this truth.

There is nothing wrong.

Just face the truth.

That's all Kabir is saying.

When you face the truth,

When you see the truth,

Then you're walking the path of truth and you will find that source.

But if you don't know the source,

But if you don't face the truth,

You pretend,

No,

No,

No,

I am not like this.

She's talking about other people.

She's not talking about me.

I am the holy person in this entire group.

Fantastic!

Continue with your pretense then.

But if you really look at the reality,

We all want love,

But we have lost the source of love.

That takes us to the first Doha.

What is Bandhihi Ko Bandha Mila?

Bandh is the root word is bondage.

Bandhan.

One person who is bound meets another person who is bound.

What am I bound by?

What is this person bound by?

Our own ideas,

Our own concepts,

Our own beliefs,

Our own likes and dislikes,

Our own attachments,

Our own expectations.

So I am colored with my own expectations.

He's colored with his own expectations.

Now I am going to this person in search of love from him,

But I don't know that he is coming to me in search for love from me.

One beggar going to the other beggar.

Can they help each other?

Bandhihi Ko Bandha Mila.

Very clear.

Chhute kaunupai.

Who will set who free?

One bound man meets another bound man.

Bound means there are chains of attachments tied.

That is how he is bound.

Who is going to set who free?

Karbandhagi Nirbandhagi.

If you want to bow down to it,

To somebody,

It should be only to the one who is Nirbandh who is not chained down,

The one who is not bound,

The one who is not fettered.

Bow down to the unfettered.

Vopal me lega chhudai.

In a moment you will be free.

So now where do I go to find this Mr.

Nirbandh or Miss Nirbandh?

Yeah.

Where?

Which was the right direction?

Here.

Not outside.

Not outside he says.

That witness that we learnt about in Kabir weekend one.

You look very carefully at the witness now.

Step by step we go towards the witness.

At this external level,

Are these people,

Are they bound or not bound?

They are bound.

They are bound by their attachments.

They are bound by their expectations.

They are bound by their own cravings from you.

They are bound by their expectations.

Their own cravings from you.

Their own aversions also towards you.

So they are completely bound.

Yeah.

It doesn't matter even if it is a saint.

If that saint is looking for followers,

He is bound by the thirst for followers.

If that so-called saint is looking for money from you in exchange of knowledge,

He is bound by his thirst for money.

Are you saying what I'm saying?

It doesn't matter whoever this person is outside.

Your guru,

Your spiritual teacher,

Each one is bound by something or the other.

That is why that guru or the teacher is still in the physical form.

The physical body itself is bondage.

The karmic bondage that has brought him into that physical body.

So Kabir says,

Not the bandha.

Go towards the nirbandha.

So we see very clearly everybody around,

Everything around in this samsara is bandha,

Is bound.

So I come one step inwards.

This physical body.

Can I do bandhagi of this body?

Can I bow down to the body?

The body has its own cravings,

Its own aversions.

The body has its own the body has its own desires.

It has its own seasonal cycle.

Can I find nirbandha here?

No.

It is also fettered.

It is bound.

It is born out of karma.

Take one more step behind the body.

The mind.

Can I bow down to the mind?

The mind is also fettered.

In fact,

The mind has lots of ego,

Lots of cravings,

Lots of aversions.

So I cannot even bow down to the mind.

I'm not only talking about my own mind.

I'm looking at another mind also.

Let's take now one step behind the mind.

Do you notice the witness?

Witnessing that there is the mind.

The mind is saying yes or no.

The mind likes or dislikes.

Does the witness say,

I like the mind saying this,

I don't like the mind saying this?

Does the witness have any desires,

Any cravings?

Does it have any aversions?

It has no expectation.

It is just there.

Yeah.

That is the nirbandha.

That is the witnessing aspect.

Now,

He says,

I should look at this nirbandha.

I should look at this witnessing aspect in me.

For what?

For the source of that love.

How?

I find being in the witness very dry.

It's just void.

There's nothing there.

Yeah.

So I'll give you a little example.

Your body mind has a memory.

Not just the memory at the memory apparatus level the way you think it is.

Even your fingers have the memory of where the switch is.

So many times you enter the room,

You're not even looking in that direction and you know how to turn on the switch.

The body has specific memory.

The mind has specific memory.

Now use this memory to do a contemplation meditation.

In contemplation meditation,

You can either keep your eyes open or closed.

Whatever you like.

Very short,

Less than a minute meditation.

So be very attentive.

Go back to the point in time in memory where you were just a one month old baby.

Just one month old.

You just started opening your eyes longer than 10-20 hours which you were sleeping before.

Small little body,

Small little hands,

You open your eyes,

You see some faces.

Do you know that you have a body?

Do you know that you have a mind?

Do you have the concept of body,

Mind,

Witness?

Do you have any concepts of any words?

Do you have a concept of this is mother,

This is father and this is stranger?

Do you have a concept of I like this person and I dislike this person?

Was there a concept of this person seems to be a good man and this seems to be an evil man?

When you opened your eyes and you looked at a toy,

What was happening?

Did you think toy?

Did you think I want it?

I am the possessor of this toy and nobody should take it away from me.

That was the mind which was pure.

You still are using the mind to see that toy.

You are still using the mind to recognize different colors.

You are still using the mind recognizing different humans who were around you.

But that mind is nirbandha.

Now tell me what is the difference between that mind and the mind which is there now at this age?

The difference is conditioning.

What is conditioning?

Whatever we learnt from society,

Whatever we learnt from our culture,

Whatever we learnt from our parents,

From the people around,

Slowly slowly we built concepts,

We built ideas and this conditioning is what causes the bondage.

Do you remember looking at a very young baby,

Even a one-year-old baby?

Does that young baby have any evil thoughts,

Anger towards you,

Hatred,

Jealousy,

Passion?

No,

There is only one thing in those pure innocent eyes.

There is only love.

That is where you were once upon a time.

What happened?

Conditioning,

Conditioning,

Conditioning,

Conditioning.

We teach our children you have to be better than this.

You have to be better than that person.

You have to become smarter than that person.

Oh the world is full of thieves.

The world is full of deception.

What happens in this teaching?

The child does not learn to love.

The child learns to see there are enemies around.

All conditioning.

This is all conditioning.

You did not have this when you were that little one-year-old baby.

You were the pure source of love.

Every one-year-old baby whether white or black,

Whether brown or yellow,

Doesn't matter what color,

Doesn't matter rich or poor.

Every one-year-old baby looks beautiful.

Have you ever seen a baby look ugly?

Not possible.

Why did the baby look so beautiful?

How?

Those eyes.

Those eyes do not look at anybody as an enemy.

Those eyes do not look at anybody as this person has come to attack me.

Yes,

Those eyes look at everybody equal.

That source of love was where you were and it is nothing else.

If you really dissect it,

It is nothing else but witnessing.

The baby was witnessing the toy.

The baby was witnessing the mother.

The baby was witnessing the father.

The baby's mind was not conditioned with other things.

It was again and again dissolving into the witness.

We cannot go back to that age but we can pick up that trick because it is somewhere in my own memory.

Is there anybody who is born directly at 30,

40,

50 years old?

No.

We all were there.

We all were those little things that came out of the mother's womb and we all were womb and were just wondering.

We were so awed at the world.

Every moment we were ever new.

We looked at everything with that same wonder.

That wonder,

That awe in your eyes,

That equal drishti or equal look that you had for everyone,

That was pure witnessing and it is there in your memory.

All you need to do is go back to it again and again.

The second step,

Uncondition,

Unlearn the wrong conditioning.

Two steps need to be done.

Nobody can ever say that,

Oh it's very difficult for me to go to the witness.

No,

It is not.

The witness is there all the time,

Moment to moment to moment to moment to moment.

In fact,

In the night there is no body,

There is no mind.

There is only the witness.

So,

The witness is something that is there 24-7.

The body and the mind disappear in sleep and they reappear when you get out of your deep sleep state.

Can you say,

I stopped existing for three hours in the night and then I started existing again at 6 a.

M.

In the morning?

No.

No.

You always have the sense of,

I slept very soundly.

Who is saying I slept very soundly?

So,

You always are in the witness.

You can always go back to it because it is your own memory.

It is only conditioning.

So,

Now what conditioning am I talking about?

I'm not talking about just the worldly conditioning.

I am also talking about the spiritual conditioning now.

So,

You have spiritually conditioned yourself with many many things that you learned and one of them is also this that,

Oh I cannot be in the witness all the time.

This is also conditioning.

Yes?

So,

Again and again take the position of the witness.

It is very simple of the witness.

It is very simple for you to go to the witness.

It is not hard.

It is right there,

Right here,

Right now.

All you have to do is drop the conditioning of the mind.

Yeah?

Or the wrong identification with the body.

That is also conditioning and just again and again step towards the witness.

Remember,

You cannot take your body and mind there.

The witness itself is love.

Another example I'll give you.

When you hug your mother,

Yeah?

Just think of your mom and hug her right now.

For a moment,

You will notice the mind stops.

There is a sukoon.

The Hindi word sukoon really cannot be justified by English translation but a soft sweet peace.

Yes?

It's a sweet peace.

Yeah?

It comes only for one second.

In that one second,

Is it that there is an I experiencing an object called love?

Is there a duality in that one second?

No,

You become love.

There is no I there.

If not your mother,

Think about your child and hug your child right now in your mind.

And see,

For that one second,

The I drops.

Yeah?

Whoever,

Your partner,

Whoever you have a lot of love for.

Yes?

You will notice that pream agni,

The fire of love consumes the I because the I really does not exist.

It's a figment of the mind.

This pream agni is the fire of love.

This pream agni is there in you.

You experience it moment to moment to moment with your loved ones.

But then what comes up?

This I suddenly comes up and spoils that soft peace.

The soft sweet peace is gone.

The I comes up and now it has its own cravings and aversions in that relationship,

Whether it is mother or father or son or daughter or spouse.

The moment the I comes up,

It spoils that soft sweet peace.

So you have this experience.

It is your own experience where you recognize the witness as love.

That is the source of love.

That soft sweet peace that you feel.

And when you are in that moment of soft sweet peace,

There is no I.

Pream agni ati sankari tame dona samay.

The street of love or the road of love is so narrow,

Two cannot be there.

Yes?

The moment there is love,

The I drops.

The ego drops.

There is just that witnessing,

That beautiful sweet peace.

So pream agni ati sankari.

It is very very narrow.

Two cannot fit there.

There is no room for duality there.

You cannot even say there is one.

There is.

That's it.

You cannot even say,

Oh I was experiencing love because at that one second it lasts.

It doesn't last longer than one or two seconds.

At one or two seconds the I has dissolved and there is just that sweet peace.

And then it's gone again because the I comes up.

In retrospect the mind says I experienced love in that moment.

It's always later that the mind formulates that sentence and says I experienced that peace,

That calm sweet peace.

Yes?

Pream agni ati sankari tame dona samay.

Jab mein tha tabhari nahi.

Jabhari hai mein hoon nahi.

Whenever he's saying hurry,

He's not really referring to Lord Krishna's idol.

He is actually referring to the witness consciousness.

Yes?

There is just that witnessing.

There is no knower.

There is no I.

The I has dissolved.

The I collapses.

So you cannot say that,

Oh I cannot stay in the witness.

You experience it several times a day.

Several times a day.

See your little kid comes running to you and gives you a hug suddenly.

For that one second the mind stops and all you can be in is that sweet soft peace.

It may just last one or two seconds and again the mind comes up with,

Oh you are a very mischievous child and blah blah blah blah blah you go on.

But you experience that just for a moment.

But you experience that just for a few seconds.

Again and again go back to that experience.

That will take you to the witness and then stay there.

Stay there.

Even just the memory of that sweet peace can take you back there.

Yeah?

So in this session we learn to go to the witness through the sweetness of love.

The everyday love that we experience at home,

With family,

With extended family and if you have lovable friends.

Whenever I comes up that is when the witness disappears.

JAB MEH THA TAB HARI NAHI.

The witness will disappear whenever there is I.

Whenever the witness is there,

JAB HARI HE MEH HO NAHI.

I am not there when the witness is there.

So now we have to keep going back to this.

Keep going back to this.

The natural question that comes up is how will the I drop?

How will this ego drop?

It does not need to really drop.

You need to stop that wrong identification.

You just start being in the sweet soft peace.

This will just seem like a wave that arose and dissolved,

Arose and dissolved.

Till the time you are concerned about the wave you will be entangled by the thoughts of the wave.

Till the time you are concerned about the ego you will try to push away the ego and the more you try to push it the more it comes in your face.

So pushing away the waves that are anyway arising and falling is a futile thing to do.

You just dissolve in the witness again and again and again.

Now slowly for those who keep practicing this you will start noticing that this soft sweet peace is not just in a hug with somebody.

It also comes in my work when I am in the zone.

Suppose you are a painter and you start painting.

All thoughts are gone and you are in the zone doing your beautiful painting and just there and then there is this soft sweet peace and absolute quiet where the mind stops talking.

And you automatically get pushed into that gap between the two thoughts.

You start noticing this soft sweet peace everywhere,

Everywhere.

The more you practice it the more it grows.

The more it grows.

Just like there is oil in a sesame seed in such a small little seed there is oil.

Just like in a stone there is fire.

Just like that your Lord,

Your God,

The source of love that you are thirsting for that is right within you.

If you can wake up to this wake up He is right within you.

That witness is Sai,

Is God.

The word Sai means the Lord.

The Lord is not outside in a temple,

In a masjid,

In a church.

Not outside.

The Lord is here.

This is where you look He says.

If you can wake up please do so.

Wake up.

Wake up and see the truth.

Then what is there in that temple?

What is there in that masjid?

What is there in that church?

Why do we go there?

Kabir says,

Why do we go there?

Kabir says,

In the temple there is only the statue and masjid is completely empty.

It is completely empty.

You search for this witness within.

This is the temple that was actually referred to by early man as a temple.

But the people who were too caught up in the world could not understand what temple is there here.

It is called the Dildarga,

The temple of the heart.

People could not understand this Dildarga.

So they said,

Okay we will create a Darga outside.

We will create a temple outside,

A church outside.

Maybe there you go and you recognize that soft peace and then maybe that pushes you to the inner temple.

But people forgot about this inner temple and started fighting about the external temples.

How my temple is greater than your masjid.

My God is better than your God.

You don't stop at religion.

You say,

Okay I am not a religious person.

I am a spiritual person.

Oh my spiritual organization is better than your spiritual organization.

My path is better than your path.

There also you have started.

My guru is better than your guru.

Guru competition now.

Where?

Where?

See where have we taken it?

We've stretched it so far.

This is all conditioning.

This is an obstacle in our own growth.

It is an obstacle on our own path because then I hold on to that attachment.

I become bandha.

I don't hold on to the attachment only of the world.

I hold on to the attachment of my church,

My Jesus,

My Allah,

My Darga,

My temple,

My Krishna,

My Buddha.

Yeah even now Ramana Maharshi and what Nisargadatta Maharaj you're holding on to gurus now.

That was not the point.

Not the point.

Every teacher comes,

Honest teacher,

Every honest teacher comes to give you the knowledge that the temple is here within.

Dil Darga Ko Khoj Le Peyare.

Yaha Jalakta Noor Khudaai Hai.

This is where you will find the light of love.

This is where you will find the light of the Lord.

It's not outside.

It's not outside.

Yeah all these things outside a temple,

A teacher,

A scripture,

An idol,

They were all symbols to help you go within,

To find it within.

And now when I have crossed the ocean and come to find it within,

And now when I have crossed the ocean and come to the other shore,

Do I try to hold on to the boat that got me to the other shore?

No.

Stop sitting in the boat.

Lots of people get attached to Ekta and now want to sit there.

No Ekta saying let go of the boat.

Let go of the guru,

Let go of the scripture,

Let go of the attachment and just reside in that piece of the witness within.

That is open-eyed meditation.

When you are 24-7 in that sweet peace,

All the time that is meditation.

That is meditation.

In a crux,

This is what is the teachings of Kabir on love.

It's not romantic love at all.

The only romance that is possible is here.

Yeah,

External is just fake romance.

I am just faking you so that I get your attention.

I am just pretending here so that I get a little bit of expression of love and my ego bloats up and feels good.

Ha ha ha.

And wears a cap and a suit boot,

Feels all special.

It's all fake,

All pretends outside.

This is the real home.

This is what you have been searching.

Stop fooling yourself.

This is the crux of Kabir's teachings on love.

If you get this,

You get it all.

And if you miss this one source of love,

This witnessing consciousness,

This witnessing void,

This awareness,

You miss it all.

You miss it all.

Jihi ghat priti na premras puni rasna nahi ram tenar issansar me upujee bhai bekam.

One whose heart is dried where there is no love.

Yeah,

No priti,

No premras.

One who has not tasted this nectar of this Ram.

Not the Ram,

Not the Ayodhya Karaja Ram,

Not the Darshan Sun Ram.

This Ram,

This witnessing consciousness,

The one who has missed this taste.

That nir,

That human was born as a waste.

His birth is of no use.

He has wasted his life.

Kabir can be very straightforward and direct and it can hurt the ego.

But the ego should get hurt in certain things.

Again and again,

We need to recognize that we are at a loss if we are pampering this ego.

We are at a loss if we are letting go of being in the witness.