Nisargadatta's I Am That Session 3 - Obsession With The Body

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Transcript

Chapter 2.

Obsession with the body.

Now last week he had told you again and again just rest as the sense of I am.

He gave you two pointers I am the changeless background yes the changeless background on which everything arises and falls arises and falls.

You stay as the changeless background and the only way to get there is through negation.

I am not this I am not this.

Neti neti.

He continues on the same line.

Questioner Maharaj you are sitting in front of me and I'm here at your feet.

What is the basic difference between us?

Maharaj there is no basic difference.

Questioner still there must be some real difference.

I come to you you do not come to me.

Maharaj says because you imagine differences.

This is very important.

Imagine.

We're just getting started on what he's going to take you towards.

You go here and there in search of superior people.

Questioner says you too are a superior person.

You claim to know the real while I do not.

Maharaj says did I ever tell you that you do not know and therefore you are inferior?

Let those who invented such distinctions prove them.

It's a direct challenge for the doitam path.

That path that tells you that you are inferior or you do not know.

It's a direct challenge for that path from Maharaj.

Let them prove it that you are inferior.

There is no inferior and there is no superior.

What is he telling you?

That you actually know.

It is not something that I'm going to tell you that you do not know.

When he told you about the sense of I am,

Did he manufacture it inside you?

Did Ekta do some voodoo magic and create some sense of I am and put it inside you?

No.

It was always there and I always knew it.

I had just forgotten it.

Do you see it?

So he's saying did I ever tell you that you do not know?

A real teacher will never tell you that you do not know.

A real teacher will tell you you already know it.

Yes.

I am not telling you something that you do not know.

You've just forgotten it.

I the witness,

I forget myself and I get lost in the body mind and the world and I create drama.

I've just forgotten myself.

That's it.

I have to just remember and when the teacher comes and just tells you,

See recognize that sense of I am.

Recognize that background.

Recognize that witness.

It is beyond the body.

It's beyond the mind and you say aha that is who I am.

Yes.

So it is something I knew.

I had just forgotten.

That does not make me inferior and somebody else superior.

Yeah.

So these distinctions are not something that are you should say Maharaj does not really give any importance to such distinctions.

Next page.

I do not claim to know what you do not.

In fact,

I know much less than you do.

Look at his humility.

He's not saying that he knows more than you.

Question him.

Your words are wise.

Your behavior,

Noble.

Your grace,

All-powerful.

Maharaj says I know nothing about it.

This is all your creation,

Huh?

You have created this whole rosy idea in your own head about Maharaj,

About the teacher,

About Ekta.

You have put them on the pedestal.

They have no idea about this.

Yeah.

So he says I know nothing about it at all and see no difference between you and me.

My life is a succession of events just like yours.

What is succession?

One after the other,

One after the other.

There are waves coming and going,

Coming and going.

There is no difference between how my life is and how your life is.

Only I am detached and see the passing show as a passing show while you stick to things and move along with them.

Do you see this?

This is the most important thing.

I,

The witness,

Forget that I am the witness of the body and mind.

I notice a thought.

What do I do?

I become the thought and then I start flowing along with it for a long time and that creates the drama and then I'm miserable and then I'm crying and then I'm coming to the spiritual path and saying why am I miserable?

Please take my misery away.

Yeah.

Why?

Because I became one with it and I flow with it whereas Maharaj,

He is detached or he is the witness to the thought.

It comes,

It stays,

It falls.

A feeling comes,

It stays,

It falls.

He remains unconcerned with it.

Yeah.

Untainted,

Unaffected.

How do you recognize this?

Right now also,

There are so many sensations in your body.

Do you notice it?

Yes.

Are you the sensations?

If I am the sensation,

Then how can I perceive it?

If I can perceive something,

I am separate from it.

Those who've done Ashtavakra Gita with me have done this before.

If I can see the book,

I am separate from the book.

We've done this before.

Yes.

This is a gross object.

Subtle object is a thought.

I can see the thought.

It's come up and it's dancing right now.

I am separate from the thought.

Correct?

So do this experiment today.

Experiment with the thought.

Am I the thought or am I separate from the thought?

Whichever thought comes.

Right now there are thoughts.

Can you see you're separate from them?

Yes.

Again a sensation comes in the body.

Maybe some of you have not had your meal and your stomach is growling.

Yeah.

Can you experience that sensation?

Maybe there is some tingling somewhere.

Maybe there is pain somewhere in the body.

Maybe there is sweating.

You're feeling hot or you're feeling cold.

These are all sensations.

Oh I can perceive these sensations.

Means I'm separate from them.

You don't even need to close your eyes.

With open eyes you can do this.

This is so simple.

Yeah.

I am separate from these sensations.

Feeling comes up.

Right now you're you're attending Advaita.

So you have this interested feeling.

Excited feeling.

Can you notice it?

Very interested in learning something.

Yeah.

See I am separate from that feeling.

I can perceive it.

I am not that feeling.

It is so clear with open eyes.

You do not need to close your eyes because the moment you close your eyes you start feeling oh I will not be able to experience with open eyes.

So I cannot be a witness with open eyes.

This becomes another excuse for the ego to complicate the story.

Eight year old child can get it.

I can get it with open eyes.

She didn't close her eyes.

She was looking at the chocolate and the candy and doing it.

So I can also get it.

I notice these sensations.

Oh yes.

I am not these sensations.

I am separate from them.

That is why I can perceive them.

Common sense.

Yeah.

Same with the feeling of anger now.

Whichever is your main predominant emotion that pulls you away.

Maybe it is anger.

Maybe it is sadness.

Maybe it is a feeling of not being so good or whatever your strong feeling or emotion is.

See how it consumes you.

Why?

Because at that moment you are not doing the neti neti.

You are not taking that step and recognizing oh I am not this.

I am not the sad feeling or I'm not this angry feeling or I'm not this whatever superior feeling.

I'm not this egoistic feeling.

Yeah.

So your homework for the week is continuously you will have these emotions come up,

Feelings come up,

You have thoughts come up continuously 24 7.

Recognize see I am separate from this.

I am separate from this.

I am separate from this.

I am separate from this.

Yeah.

Recognize how I am naturally detached.

I don't have to become detached.

This is also just language.

Yeah.

I am naturally detached.

I have just confused myself by assuming that I am an angry person.

I am a sad person or I am thinking this vicious thought right now.

I'm a vicious person.

Do you get it?

I have confused myself by assuming that I am that.

Super clear?

So Maharaj says I remain detached but you flow with it.

You go with it.

You become one with it.

So he asks,

Questioner asks what made you so dispassionate?

Maharaj says nothing in particular.

It so happened that I trusted my guru.

He told me I am nothing but myself and I believed him.

Trusting him,

I behaved accordingly and seized caring for what was not me nor mine.

The key is right here.

Siddha Rameshwar Maharaj.

Long name.

That was the guru of Nisargadatta Maharaj.

Siddha Rameshwar Maharaj belonged to the Navnath sampradaya.

Yeah,

This is in Maharashtra and when Nisargadatta Maharaj was only called Maruti.

He was not called Nisargadatta.

That time his friend took him to his teacher and the teacher said one very simple thing to him.

You are not what you take yourself to be.

Yeah and he showed him exactly what we saw in the witness or the sense of I am.

In a moment he recognized the sense of I am and then I read out a paragraph to you.

I think it's in this book only page 358.

Page 358 right at the bottom.

The last paragraph.

So we are not in the middle of the conversation so we don't have to do the whole thing.

We'll just start with the last paragraph.

My guru ordered me to attend to the sense I am and to give attention to nothing else.

Yes,

This is the key for you.

He told him just attend to the sense of I am and give attention to nothing else.

What are these other things?

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensation in the body of pain,

Hunger whatever.

This is hurting,

That is hurting.

Any other sensation,

Tingling,

Crawling.

No sensations you give attention to.

Don't give any attention to thoughts.

Don't give any attention to any feeling,

Anger or hatred or jealousy.

Whatever comes up.

Don't give any attention to it.

Do not give attention to any perception also.

Perception of my son,

My daughter,

My family,

My book,

My money.

Don't give any attention to me or mine.

Give attention to nothing else.

Just give attention to the sense of I am.

I just obeyed.

I did not follow any particular course of breathing or meditation or study of scriptures.

Yeah,

See that.

All he did was attend to the sense of I am.

He didn't do anything else.

No breathing,

No meditation,

No study of scriptures.

Whatever happened,

I would turn away my attention from it and remain with the sense I am.

That is your key.

That is your main homework for the week.

Turn your attention from whatever is happening and remain as I am.

It may look too simple,

Even crude.

Who says this?

The ego says this.

Oh,

This is so simple.

How can it be like this?

How can it be so simple?

It is actually very simple.

My only reason for doing it was that my guru told me so.

Yet it worked.

Obedience is a powerful solvent of all desires and fears.

Just turn away from all that occupies the mind.

Do whatever work you have to complete.

Yeah,

He's telling you to do the work.

Remember this.

Do whatever work you have to complete,

But avoid new obligations.

Keep empty.

Again,

This is another key.

Keep empty.

Keep available.

Resist not what comes uninvited.

Yeah,

Don't resist that which comes uninvited.

If somebody says,

Okay,

Let's do this,

You go.

That's okay.

You do that.

Somebody brings some work your way,

Don't resist it.

Yeah,

But from your side,

Do not initiate something new.

Keep empty.

Keep available.

Avoid new obligations.

Just be with the sense of I am.

Just be.

Give yourself six months.

Okay,

Six months I'm going to follow just this sense of I am.

I'm not going to take on new new things,

New new tasks.

Just going to focus on one thing,

This sense of I am.

Let's see where it takes me.

Yeah.

In the end,

You reach a state of non-grasping,

Of joyful non-attachment,

Of inner ease and freedom,

Indescribable,

Yet wonderfully real.

We can come back to our chapter two.

You can read that chapter on your own later.

He again does not advocate blind belief or blind faith.

You can read that chapter later.

He says there is only one Guru.

The one Guru is inside.

The real Guru is the Sadguru,

Which is inside.

The outer Guru,

He himself uses the same exact words that Kabir says,

That they are the,

Just the Guru of the Bandha,

Bondage.

Yeah,

They are not out of bondage.

So an outer Guru is nothing but a GPS.

His job is to again and again help you look within,

Again and again direct your attention inside.

Yeah,

You can read that later.

So just know that he does not advocate blind belief.

You do not have to believe blindly.

In that chapter,

It is very clearly spelled out.

External teacher is just the GPS.

The GPS tells you,

Look within,

Go to that witness.

Yes.

So external Guru is not the real Guru.

The real Guru is your internal witness.

Until you find this internal witness,

Until you find this internal Guru,

The job of the external Guru is to keep drawing your attention within.

Yeah.

So that's what his Guru did.

His Guru showed him the witness.

The Guru just helped him understand the sense of I am.

So he gave him the destination already.

Now Nisarg started walking or he was called Maruti then.

He was,

He started walking the path.

Very clear.

The second line of that paragraph,

I behaved accordingly and ceased caring for what was not me nor mine.

Yeah.

What is not me,

What is not mine?

He has already showed you.

I am not these thoughts.

I am not these sensations.

I am not this perception.

I am not this feeling.

Yeah.

So I ceased caring and he told you how to do it.

Keep empty,

Keep available.

Don't take on new obligation,

But whatever comes,

Don't resist that.

Do that.

Again,

Go back to the sense of I am.

As much as you can while doing your daily activities with the children,

With your family,

Everything is on.

But again and again I go back to I am.

Yeah.

Take it up very sincerely.

Yes.

Are you all in for doing it sincerely for the next six months?

Yes.

Ekta is not telling you.

Nisargadatta is telling you.

So very sincerely I take this on.

Okay.

Now next very important question,

Very relevant to all of us.

Why were you lucky to trust your teacher fully while our trust is nominal and verbal?

Maharaj says,

Who can say?

It happened so.

Things happen without cause and reason.

Please underline this.

Things happen without cause and reason.

You cannot say that this was the cause that led to this particular effect.

Very soon you will understand there is no cause and effect,

There is no karma,

There is no karmakalam.

So he says,

Things happen without cause and reason.

And after all,

What does it matter?

Who is who?

Your high opinion of me is your opinion only.

Any moment you may change it.

Why attach importance to opinions even your own?

See Maharaj has just taught you neti neti.

I am not the thought.

Yes.

And what is an opinion?

It's a thought.

Yeah.

So not to attach any importance.

Drop.

I am not this.

I am not this.

I am not this.

Now Maharaj teaches you about dropping thoughts and he is going to hold on to your opinion,

You think?

No.

Not at all.

Yeah.

Opinions do not matter.

Yeah.

So he's very clear.

Drop all these.

These are all imaginary ideas.

When you are ready from within,

There is a thirst to know the witness,

To know that sense of I am.

Yes.

And that is what brings you to a spiritual session.

You yourself want to know it and you yourself find it.

There is no external cause,

There is no external reason that makes it happen.

Still you are different.

Your mind seems to be always quiet and happy and miracles happen around you.

Maharaj says,

I know nothing about miracles.

Highlight.

Yeah.

He completely shuns He completely shuns the idea of miracles.

And I wonder whether nature admits exceptions to her laws unless we agree that everything is a miracle.

Yeah.

So all those of you who were attracted to the spiritual path because you wanted some miracle.

Time to wake up.

That was my Santa Claus.

Santa Claus does not exist.

There are no miracles and it's high time if somebody is fooling you that they are going to really do something and make you something,

Wake up.

Time to exit from the show.

You exit.

Yes.

As to my mind,

There is no such thing.

There is consciousness in which everything happens.

It is quite obvious and within the experience of everybody.

You just do not look carefully enough.

Look well and see what I see.

Yes.

You look well.

He's telling you,

You are not looking carefully.

You are still lost in perception,

Sensations,

Feelings and thoughts.

Yeah.

Perception include perception of sight,

Sound,

Taste,

Touch,

Smell.

Remember that.

So basically this entire world is nothing but perceptions.

You are lost in this world and you do not look carefully.

Yeah.

So examine carefully.

And what are you going to examine?

From the level of being the witness,

I examine,

Oh,

This is just a thought and I am separate from it.

And see how complex this thought is,

How it can weave a story,

How I can get lost in this story.

Recognize the whole mechanism of getting caught in the drama and coming out of the drama.

Again and again,

Recognize how this happens,

The jumping in and the coming out and the jumping in and the coming out.

Why am I getting caught in this drama?

Yeah.

You will find a vasana at its root.

Vasana is a Sanskrit term for anything that pulls me away from the sense of I am.

For anything that pulls me away from the sense of I am.

It can either be a craving or it can be an aversion.

Yeah.

It's either a craving or an aversion.

So recognize if there is a vasana that pulls me out again and again,

Again and again.

Now vasanas are also of two types,

Especially for people on the spiritual path.

There is material world vasana and now there is spiritual world vasana.

Yes,

Some of us are attracted to gems and what are those stones and that that crystals and then you're attracted to astrology and astrologers and you're attracted to an external guru.

You're attracted to an external thing.

These are all spiritual vasanas that pull me out,

That take me away from the sense of I am.

So because he says look well and see what I see,

That is why the questioner asks,

What do you see?

He says,

I see what you too could see here and now but for the wrong focus of your attention.

You give no attention to yourself.

Your mind is all with things,

People and ideas,

Never with yourself.

Bring yourself into focus.

What is self?

Not any blue light or yellow light soul.

What is self?

Simple,

The sense of I am,

The witness,

The changeless background.

Yeah,

Not any soul.

Don't imagine.

Yeah,

With eyes open.

That is why I refrain from allowing you to close your eyes in Advaita because the moment you close your eyes,

Some people start imagining things,

Visualizing.

We stay away from visualizing.

Yes.

Bring yourself into focus.

Become aware of your own existence.

See how you function.

Watch the motives and the results of your actions.

This is very important.

I do something.

How did I get into doing this particular action?

What was my motive to do this particular action,

Whether it is speech or it is a physical action?

Why did I do this?

How did this happen?

Then it created drama.

Observe how I got consumed.

He says,

No,

You move with it.

Observe how I got consumed in this drama.

When did I recognize that I am the awareness,

I am consumed in the drama and when did I step back?

So you observe this entire process of getting lost and coming back.

Again,

You observe the process of getting lost,

Getting consumed and coming back.

Yes,

This is the meaning of study the prison you have built around yourself.

This is a self-study.

Do you get it?

So I study how I get lost in thoughts,

Perceptions,

Feelings and sensations,

How I create drama,

How I manipulate myself and then suddenly I realize,

Oh,

I'm an Advaitin,

I'm in Advaita class.

Step back.

You observe this entire phenomena again and again and again and make notes.

That is the meaning of study yourself.

Study my own prison.

Studying this body and the mind is my prison,

No?

Study the prison you have built around yourself by inadvertence.

By knowing what you are not,

You come to know yourself.

This is very important.

The moment I know I am not the thought,

I am not the feeling,

I'm not the sensation,

What happens?

What remains?

Just the changeless background.

I don't have to go looking to know myself.

I only have to know I'm not the thought,

I'm not the feeling,

I'm not the sensation,

I'm not the perception and lo and behold what's left at the end is an empty space.

Oh,

That is what I am.

It is not just a changeless background which is not like behind and front.

It is like an empty space.

Just blankness.

There is no I also over there.

Then you have hit jackpot.

Yeah,

You have found yourself.

So,

All you need to know is what you are not.

Yeah,

What you are will reveal itself.

Very clear?

The way back to yourself is through refusal and rejection.

Neti,

Neti.

Not this,

Not this.

Yes,

I'm not the thought,

I'm not this feeling,

I'm not this perception,

I'm not this sensation.

One thing is certain.

The real is not imaginary.

A lot of people ask me this question.

What if I'm just imagining a black background that I'm calling the sense of I am.

It is never imaginary.

The real is not imaginary.

You will recognize that the sense of I am is there early in the morning when you wake up and the mind has not even started functioning properly.

You're still drowsy and not even eyes open but the sense of I am is there.

Yeah,

That's when you know,

Oh,

The mind has not even started functioning and that sense of I am is there.

It is real.

It is always there.

It's just that I forget about it.

Yeah,

Then the feelings,

Thoughts,

Everything comes up and then you open your eyes and perception comes up.

So,

The real is not imaginary.

It is not a product of the mind.

Even the sense I am is not continuous.

Though it is a useful pointer,

It shows where to seek but not what to seek.

Yeah.

So,

You just keep looking in that direction then.

It's not looking through the eyes but just keep your attention there.

The sense of I am.

And very soon you will experience what?

Even Prasanna shared.

Yeah.

So,

The first is the sense of I am.

First you feel it is continuous.

Slowly you'll recognize,

Oh,

Even the sense of I am is not continuous.

It arises when there is a perception,

Sensation,

Feeling.

When there is nothing to witness,

It falls.

It arises only with that arising and then it falls.

Yes.

So,

There is a point when this sense of I am is not there.

It is not continuous.

Just have a good look at it.

Once you are convinced that you cannot say truthfully about yourself anything except I am and that nothing that can be pointed at can be yourself,

The need for the I am is over.

So,

In that there were two stages.

Stage one.

You keep looking at the I am,

I am,

I am and then there is just I am.

I can confidently say yes,

I am just that changeless background,

The sense of I am.

Yes.

And now start looking for the I.

This is stage two.

Capital I,

Not the organ I,

The capital,

The vertical I.

You start looking for I.

You start looking for yourself.

Can you find yourself there?

You will notice there is no I.

When you recognize there is no I,

Then the sense of I am has also dropped.

The sense of I am also drops.

There's just an empty space.

It's just being.

That is the second stage.

That is what Prasanna said that I looked for I but I couldn't even find the I over there.

It was just like an empty void.

You are no longer,

You are no longer intent on verbalizing what you are.

All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define yourself.

All definitions apply to your body only and to its expression.

Do you get it?

He's saying even this I am that you're seeing,

It is your own thirst to verbalize I,

The existence of I.

Even there is a little iota of ego there.

Drop even that tendency to verbalize I am and just be in that background.

You'll soon notice that it's not a background anymore.

It is like an infinite space.

It's like a void.

And then it is,

There is no more I am.

The moment it changes from I am to it is,

Then you have made the transition.

You no more verbalize it.

You no more feel the need to strengthen the I.

This becomes very clear.

When you reach here,

This is stage three.

You got the three stages I'm talking about,

Right?

First is I am,

The sense of I am,

The I am background.

As you progress from one to two,

You start recognizing,

Oh,

It's not continuous.

It falls off.

And then there is no I.

There's nothing.

There is the empty void.

And then the tendency to even verbalize about it or try to say I am goes away.

There just is.

So you have moved to stage three.

From I am,

You come to it is.

Once this obsession with the body goes,

You will revert to your natural state spontaneously and effortlessly.

That's it.

You don't have to do anything.

It is spontaneous.

It is effortless after that.

So the only effort is in I am not this thought.

I'm not this feeling.

I'm not this sensation.

I'm not this perception.

Just recognizing that sense of I am.

And now drop the tendency to verbalize even the I am.

It's just an emptiness,

A background.

It's not even a background.

It's a space.

And the I is nowhere to be found.

It is.

And just remain in that is-ness.

When you just remain in that is-ness,

The obsession with being somebody,

I the wife,

I the husband,

I the son,

I the father,

I the daughter,

All this I-ness starts crumbling in you.

The obsession with the body dissolves.

Now this will happen naturally.

You don't have to make an obsession dissolve.

You have to do nothing.

You have to just do I am not this.

I have to recognize the truth.

I'm separate from this.

I'm separate from this.

I'm separate from this.

Just that quiet-ness.

Quiet-ness.

Very,

Very simple how the obsession of the body will drop.

Who is obsessed?

I the witness only.

I have forgotten myself.

I the awareness.

There is no external entity.

No demon is attacking you and no external ego is there.

No.

Nothing.

No external attack.

I the witness forget myself and assume myself to be the body-mind personality.

That is called the obsession with the body.

That drops.

Then life continues.

Life doesn't stop.

Same people are there.

Same office.

Same family.

Nobody is going to disappear from your life.

In case you came to this class hoping for the family to disappear,

The world to disappear.

Nothing like that is going to happen.

We are all going to be there.

My wrong identification,

My obsession with identifying myself as this body-mind complex,

That will dissolve.

That will crumble.

Is it very clear what is the meaning of obsession dissolves?

The only difference between us is that I am aware of my natural state while you are bemused.

Bemused means you are puzzled.

You are not clear.

You are confused.

You think you are the body.

You think you are the mind.

That is the only difference between me and you says Nisargadatta.

He is clear.

Just like gold made into ornaments has no advantage over gold dust except when the mind makes it so,

So are we.

One in being.

We differ only in appearance.

Gold ring.

I don't know if you can see this gold necklace.

Gold earrings.

They only look different but in essence they are all gold.

There is no difference in the essence.

The difference is only in Nama Rupa.

That's what it's called in Sanskrit.

Name and form.

The name is ring.

The form is that circular shape.

This name is necklace and the form is like a long thread.

This name is earring and it has that form.

Nama Rupa.

Name and form they differ but in essence it is the same gold.

Exactly like that.

We are different in name and form.

Different shapes and sizes.

We come in different colors.

So we are just different in name and form but in essence we are all that changeless background.

The same sense of I am and when that sense of I am dissolves the same void.

The same nothingness.

We'll give you names for all these things later.

Right now just recognize them simply like a simple child would recognize them.

Oh it's just a void.

No need for names right now in this stage.

Very clear.

In essence we are all the same.

We are.

So we.

So are we one in being.

That is the meaning.

In essence we are the same.

We differ only in appearance.

We discover it by being earnest.

He's telling you what qualification is required to get there.

Are you earnest?

Only Saturday,

Sunday I will do.

The rest of the days I'm going to go partying and disco and dancing.

Earnest means 24-7.

I take up this practice again and again.

Separate myself from thoughts,

Feelings,

Sensations,

Perceptions and again and again I'm the witness.

Are you going to do that?

Are you earnest?

And how?

By searching,

Inquiring,

Questioning daily and hourly.

Can you see that?

He's written it for you.

Daily and hourly.

Not just Saturday,

Sunday.

Yeah.

By giving one's life to this discovery.

Can you give your life for it?

Then you can get it.

You won't get it for less than that.

Get it?

You have to give your life for this discovery.

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