Let's do a self-exploration on the person.
I am That,
Chapter 18 Let's look at ourselves in the mirror.
This is the person.
Even though I see only the physical body in the mirror,
The person is not just the physical body.
The person is the mind too.
When I am conscious of the physical body,
I am conscious of the person.
When I am conscious of the mind,
I am conscious of the person.
When I am conscious of the intellect,
I am conscious of the person.
When I am conscious of the memory,
I am conscious of the person.
When I am conscious of the ego,
I am conscious of the person.
When I am not conscious of the body,
Mind,
Intellect,
Memory,
Ego,
Then I am not conscious of the person.
When I am not conscious of the person at all,
Then I the awareness am aware of myself,
The awareness.
In other words,
I am resting in my true self.
The body plus mind plus intellect plus memory plus ego is equal to the person.
Where is this person?
Can I locate this person?
In order to locate this person,
I must first locate a time and space where this person can exist.
In order to locate such a time and space,
I must first locate a level other than the level of consciousness or awareness which is timeless and spaceless.
Can I locate such a level consisting of time and space in my direct experience?
Can I locate a person existing in time and space in my direct experience?
Am I able to see in my direct experience that the so-called body disappears into the nothingness of awareness and reappears again?
Am I able to see in my direct experience that the so-called mind disappears into nothingness of awareness and reappears again?
Am I able to see in my direct experience that the so-called intellect disappears into the nothingness of awareness and reappears again?
Am I able to see in my direct experience that the so-called memory disappears into the nothingness of awareness and reappears again?
Am I able to see in my direct experience that the so-called ego disappears into the nothingness of awareness and reappears again?
Am I able to see in my direct experience that the black hole of nothingness sucks in the self-image which is nothing but the person again and again and throws it out again and again?
Is this so-called person anything but memory?
For example,
You are looking at yourself in the mirror.
But you do not stand in front of the mirror all day.
You still have an image of yourself in your mind which replicates this reflection in the mirror.
Isn't that self-image simply memory?
Now close your eyes and think about yourself.
Don't you have the same image in your mind that was there in the reflection in the mirror?
Is this so-called person anything but memory?
Is this so-called physical body anything but memory?
It is only an illusion that I am with this waking body 16 to 18 hours of the waking state.
The truth is that I am only with the memory of the physical body.
Sometimes this memory is clearly present and sometimes this memory has disappeared into the nothingness.
The so-called physical body is not continuous.
It is anicca.
Anicca is the Pali word for impermanent.
Assuming myself to be this impermanent physical body only brings pain.
The pain of believing an illusion.
Dukkha.
Dukkha is the Pali word for pain.
This so-called physical body is not who I am.
The self-image created in the mind is not who I am.
The memory of the self-image is not who I am.
I am not the person.
What about the mind?
The thoughts that arise.
The logic that arises.
The intelligence that arises.
What about all that?
Isn't that too simply memory?
No thought is constant.
Anicca.
Impermanence is its truth.
Believing the impermanent to be permanent brings pain,
Brings dukkha.
How can I be that which appears from nothingness and disappears into nothingness?
I witness its appearance and disappearance.
If I were thought or I was the intellect,
Then I would not witness myself appearing and disappearing.
If I witness them appear and disappear,
That means I am separate from them.
Thoughts,
Whether intelligent thoughts or simply memory thoughts or thoughts related to the ego,
Are all what are termed as the mind.
No two thoughts can occur at the same time.
I know the appearance of the first thought,
Its disappearance,
And then the appearance of the second thought.
If I were the mind,
Then how would I notice this appearance and disappearance?
I am permanent.
Thought is impermanent.
Anicca.
I am not the mind.
Isn't the so-called mind simply memory?
The so-called mind is simply memory.
The so-called intellect is simply memory.
The so-called ego is simply memory.
Even the so-called memory is simply memory.
When I,
The consciousness,
Am conscious of the memory of all this,
I am conscious of an illusory person.
When I believe in the existence of this illusory person,
I believe in the existence of relationships,
Objects and situations related to this so-called person.
This belief itself is dukkha.
If I observe it keenly,
This dukkha is soon sucked into the black hole of nothingness and thrown out again.
The person is dukkha.
Let's open our eyes again and look at the image of the person again.
Now I am conscious of the illusory person.
What am I conscious of?
Isn't that reflection simply nama-rupa,
Name and form?
Do you recognize that this nama-rupa is limited to the waking state?
Do you realize that this nama-rupa is absent in the dream state?
In the dream state,
There is simply a memory of this nama-rupa.
That means there is only nama in the dream state.
And in the deep sleep state,
There is the absence of the nama-rupa from the waking and the nama from the dreaming.
I know the absence.
That is why I say I slept very peacefully last night.
There was nothing there to disturb me.
In my direct experience,
In the deep sleep state,
I know clearly the absence,
The disappearance of nama-rupa.
And at the end of the deep sleep state,
I know in my direct experience,
The appearance of nama at first in the dream state and then the appearance of rupa in the waking state.
If I know the appearance and disappearance of the nama-rupa,
I am separate from this nama-rupa.
If I can,
In my own direct experience,
See the appearance and disappearance of the person,
Then how can I be the person?
I am definitely separate from the person.
The person is simply memory that appears in the waking state and disappears at the end of it.
The person is simply memory.
The person is simply memory.
