I Am That - Session 89 - You Are Free Now - Part 3

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the Self. 'I Am That' preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities. It was his mission to guide the individual to an understanding of his true nature and the timelessness of Being.

Transcript

I find that I am totally motivated by desire for pleasure and fear of pain.

However noble my desire and justified my fear,

Pleasure and pain are the two poles between which my life oscillates.

Same happens to you?

You chime with his question.

Maharaj says go to the source of both pain and pleasure.

Go to the source of both desire and fear.

Observe,

Investigate,

Try to understand.

Self-investigation,

Self-inquiry is a must,

He is telling you.

Questioner says desire and fear,

Both are feelings caused by physical or mental factors.

They are there,

Easily observable.

But why are they there?

Why do I desire pleasure and why do I fear pain?

Maharaj says pleasure and pain are states of mind.

As long as you think you are the mind or rather the body-mind,

You are bound to raise such questions.

Of the mind means they are waves,

They are the drishya,

They are not the drig.

This is what he is saying.

It is that which is seen,

It is not the seer.

It is not the one who is being.

It is that which is seen.

They are states of the mind,

Become very clear about this.

If you jump into the mind or you jump into the body-mind,

Then you are going to raise such questions.

If you stay as the witness of them,

You will know it's the pleasure is of the mind,

Not mine.

The pain is of the mind,

Not mine.

Questioner,

And when I realize that I am not the body,

Shall I be free from desire and fear?

Maharaj says as long as there is body and a mind to protect the body,

Attractions and repulsions will operate.

Please highlight.

You are expecting that the attraction and repulsion will disappear.

Are you seeing this?

Is your expectation correct?

It's wrong.

The attraction and repulsion is not going to disappear.

Let's see what Maharaj says next.

They will be there,

Out in the field of events,

But will not concern you.

That's exactly what you are doing in your Samadhi practice.

You are staying as a witness far away from that feeling which is trying to attract you.

Far away from that thought which is very repulsive.

At a distance,

This is the practice.

You are not jumping in.

It is of no business of mine.

It will not concern you once you establish here.

Establishing here is the key.

5 minutes practice is sufficient?

5 days practice is sufficient?

5 months?

5 years?

Continuously.

Because attractions and repulsions will be there till the body vanishes.

Even the Buddha got enlightened at 36.

Till 82,

What was he vigilant about?

These attractive and repulsive forces.

Like magnets.

They are trying to attract or repel.

Continuously that will go on.

He was not concerned.

Do you see that?

That is the skill we are attempting to develop through the Samadhi.

That is how your closed-eyed Samadhi will start reflecting in your open-eyed daily routine.

When you don't give in to the attraction and don't give in to the repulsion in your open-eyed daily routine,

Then you know your closed-eyed Samadhi has now flowered into open-eyed Samadhi.

This is the only true Samadhi.

If it does not translate to your open-eyed daily routine,

It is pointless.

So moving your energy from bottom of the spine to the top of the head,

Doing thousands of postures with your head down and your feet up.

Okay,

So what?

You walk on water,

Walk on fire.

Okay,

So what?

So what?

Have you learnt to dodge the attractions and repulsions?

Have you managed to maintain your calmness in whatever the situation,

Love or war?

Are you able to stay as that sthirta,

As stability,

As equanimity itself?

No?

Then what's the point of all your acrobatics?

Please use a boat,

Don't try to walk on water.

Wear chappals,

Don't try to walk on coals.

It's pointless.

Stop trying to move that energy from your bottom of the spine to the top of the head.

Learn to talk properly to your spouse instead.

Nonsense all that is.

And you think you are on the spiritual path.

Puffing and panting and breathing,

Thinking puffing and panting and breathing is going to change you as a person.

No,

It doesn't.

Wake up and see the truth.

If samadhi does not translate to open-eyed samadhi,

It is pointless,

Futile.

Drop,

Give it up,

Let it go.

It's not taking you to enlightenment.

Is this very clear?

As long as there is a body and a mind to protect the body,

Attractions and repulsions will operate.

They will be there,

Out in the field of events,

But will not concern you.

The focus of your attention will be elsewhere.

You will not be distracted.

Keep that as your goal,

That I will never be distracted.

I will always be unconcerned by whatever events happen.

That is my goal.

Questioner,

Still they will be there.

Will one never be completely free?

Maharaj says you are completely free even now.

What you call destiny or karma is but the result of your own will to live.

You want to live.

That is why that has manifested in front of you.

How strong is this will,

You can judge by the universal horror of death.

The will to live,

Jijivisha he is talking about.

Because you have Jijivisha,

The will to exist,

To live,

To become,

You have projected your personal world.

And because you have the will to live,

You have the corresponding fear of death.

Because you don't want what you have projected to die.

Do you see this?

So whatever is happening,

You can't say now can I be completely free?

You projected it.

You wrote the story.

You hired the actors.

You made them act.

You shot the whole movie.

You edited it.

You compressed it.

You uploaded the movie.

Now it's running.

Now you are saying,

No,

Interval stop.

I want to end the movie.

Is it going to end now?

Who created it?

So you will have to watch it till the end.

Is this clear?

That is the meaning of Jijivisha,

The projection that comes out of the desire to be,

To exist.

It is your own will to live.

Waking,

Dreaming and deep sleep is all the projection of Jijivisha.

It is one projection,

One single projection.

You start seeing it after the walls collapse.

Then you don't see them separately.

It's all one.

Just one projection there and then not there.

And then there and then not there.

There and then not there.

And slowly it's of no concern of yours.

It's there,

It doesn't matter.

It's not there,

It doesn't matter.

It becomes one waking thought.

One dream thought.

Completely harmless.

Like a paper out there.

Sitting over there which doesn't even bother you.

It's there.

Somewhere lying there.

Like that.

Somewhere the movie is going on.

You know a boring movie?

Have you been to a boring movie?

And it's just going on.

After sometime you are not even watching.

But your family is watching.

So you cannot leave the theatre.

But you are not there.

Do you have one little glimpse of it?

You are there yet you are not there.

That's exactly what happens.

Because it doesn't concern me now.

So he says you are completely free even now.

What you call destiny or karma is but the result of your own will to live.

That is Jijivisha in Sanskrit.

How strong is this will you can judge by the universal horror of death.

Because you have this Trishna,

This Jijivisha you want to live.

That is why you have fear of death.

The moment this Jijivisha drops you become fearless.

You don't care for death.

Because you see that I was never born.

When you see I was never born how will I die?

That which is never born can never die.

You see yourself simply as an arising.

See one arising the I came up.

Again another arising the body mind person came up.

See the world came up.

And it disappeared also.

It disappeared,

It disappeared.

What is my reality?

Oh that ocean of nothingness in which it appeared and disappeared.

Oh there is no birth and there is no death for me.

That's how you become fearless.

Then you understand the horror of death was related to my Jijivisha.

Because my Jijivisha has gone that horror of death has gone and the fearlessness has come.

Questioner says but people die willingly quite often.

Maharaj says only when the alternative is worse than death.

For example cancer,

Stroke some major disease,

Dementia whatever whatever.

But such readiness to die flows from the same source as the will to live.

Do you see it?

Because they wanted to live but now the body is so diseased so it's the same source it's from Jijivisha.

Oh I cannot live so I might as well die.

That is the reason.

A source deeper even than life itself.

Jijivisha is deeper than life itself.

To be a living being is not the ultimate state.

Please highlight.

To be a living being is not the ultimate state.

There is something beyond much more wonderful which is neither being nor non-being.

Neither living nor non-living.

It is a state of pure awareness beyond the limitations of space and time.

Once the illusion that the body-mind is oneself is abandoned death loses its terror.

It becomes a part of living.

This I already explained.

The moment Jijivisha is gone the horror of death is gone and there is fearlessness.

So attempt to get to that wonderful place.

That sweet spot of awareness that Maharaj is speaking about.