I Am That - Session 75 - Personality, An Obstacle - Part 1

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Transcript

So chapter 26 personality and obstacle.

What is the obstacle?

This,

The moment I assume this body-mind as I and then I am this,

I am that.

That is the personality.

The husband,

The wife,

The parents,

The son,

The daughter,

The colleague,

The professional,

That is the meaning of the personality.

I am this,

I am that.

That is going to be your obstacle on this path he says.

That is going to be your obstacle.

Questioner,

As I can see the world is a school of yoga and life itself is yoga practice.

Everybody strives for perfection and what is yoga but striving?

There is nothing contemptible about the so-called common people and their common lives.

They strive as hard and suffer as much as the Yogi.

Only they are not conscious of their true purpose.

Are you getting it?

He's talking about general people who are not Yogis and he's saying they are constantly striving.

They are constantly striving just like the Yogi.

He's saying how is that person different from a Yogi?

That is his question.

So Maharaj says in what way are your common people Yogis?

How can they be Yogis?

How can you call the common people Yogis?

So questioner says their ultimate goal is the same.

What the Yogi secures by renunciation or Tyaga,

The common man realizes through experience or Bhoga.

The way of Bhoga is unconscious and therefore repetitive and protracted while the way of yoga is deliberate and intense and therefore can be more rapid.

So what is he trying to say?

Oh Yogi does all these.

He does renunciation,

Isolation and he goes deep into meditation.

He's doing so much effort.

But even somebody out in the world,

He is also going through the suffering of life,

Going through family,

Going through work,

Money and recognizing it as suffering.

So he's also going through strife.

This Yogi is also going through strife.

How are they different?

How are they different?

So the answer Maharaj gives is that maybe the periods of yoga and Bhoga alternate.

First Bhogi,

Then Yogi,

Then again Bhogi,

Then again Yogi.

He's talking about people like you who have isolated from the world.

These 10 days you are Yogis,

Seniors.

These 24 days you are a Yogi.

But when you go back into that life again,

You become a Bhogi and it keeps alternating for you.

So Maharaj is talking about you here.

And the questioner says what may be the purpose?

Why would you be Yogi for a few days and Bhogi for a few days?

What does that mean?

Why?

What is the purpose he's asking?

Maharaj says weak desires can be removed by introspection and meditation.

I would replace the word introspection with self-investigation because in the Marathi book it is Atma Nirikshan which is self-exploration or self-investigation.

So the better translation is self-investigation not introspection.

Weak desires can be removed by self-investigation and meditation but strong deep-rooted ones must be fulfilled and their fruits sweet or bitter tasted.

So what is he saying?

You have some weak desires which by coming here,

By isolating yourself,

By doing self-inquiry,

By seeing the truth,

You can let these weak desires fizzle away,

They get released.

But there are very strong impressions that you have created with family,

Maybe at work,

With money,

With name,

Fame.

So when you go back out in the Bhoga phase,

Then you have to go through that entire cycle because you projected that.

Then again you come back in here few desires get released.

Again when you go back there are some strong ones which you have to go through.

That's how Bhoga Yoga,

Bhoga Yoga alternates.

Clear?

Clear so far everybody?

Questioner,

Why then should we pay tribute to yogis and speak slightingly of bhogis?

All are yogis in a way.

Why should we condemn bhogis?

Why should we think that it's bad to be just a bhogi?

Somebody who's out there in the world and not spiritual at all.

He's a bhogi.

Why should I think that he's bad?

How is that wrong?

That is the question.

Maharaj says on the human scale of values,

Deliberate effort is considered praiseworthy.

Please highlight.

You made a deliberate effort to isolate yourself from your family for 10 days,

24 days and come here.

You made a deliberate effort to take a break from work.

For some of you it's an unpaid leave.

You still took it.

You made a deliberate effort to really help release certain impressions.

Yes,

You're working on them.

This deliberate effort is praiseworthy and you get that fruit in the end.

Right?

That is the meaning of that.

On the human scale of values,

Deliberate effort is considered praiseworthy.

In reality,

Both the yogi and bhogi follow their own nature according to circumstances and opportunities.

According to circumstances and opportunities.

Means what?

Whatever the flow presents before you,

Only that you can take.

Flow brings opportunities my way.

The flow brings circumstances my way.

Whatever comes my way,

I have to just go with the flow.

Is this clear?

That is what is meant in that sentence.

The yogi's life is governed by a single desire to find the truth.

Question for you.

Is that really your desire?

Or did you just come here for mental relaxation?

One foot bhogi and one foot yogi.

Yeah,

See the next one.

The bhogi serves many masters.

Who are the many masters?

Relationship,

Work,

Money,

Name,

Fame,

Sex,

Children.

All this.

All these are many masters.

So bhogi serves many masters.

Yogi has only one.

The truth.

This is it.

This is my priority.

Does he not have anything else?

No,

He will have probably family.

He will have whatever.

They don't just suddenly disappear from the planet.

They're there.

The family exists for the yogi also.

But that's not first priority.

You get it?

The yogi may also have some basic source of income coming in.

That's not first priority.

Yeah.

He may speak so beautifully,

The sangha might publish a book in his name.

So name,

Fame comes his way.

But that is not his priority.

It's just how the flow comes.

So for him,

There is only one priority.

What is that?

The truth.

The supreme truth.

And what is the supreme truth?

Constantly abiding in and as the consciousness.

Never,

Ever fooling myself,

Thinking I am this body,

Mind.

You see that?

Never,

Ever.

For nothing.

Not for name,

Fame.

Not for money.

Not for relationships.

Not for kids.

Not for parents.

Not for anything.

Any petty thing in this world.

Yeah?

Not a moment does he slip from his stand of the witnessing awareness.

He's never coming here.

Yeah?

Constantly there.

That is the meaning of one single truth.

Are you there yet?

Homework question number two.

Not slipping from the awareness's stand is the priority of the yogi.

Are you there yet?

Not associating with this body,

Mind.

For example,

I am not speaking and I do not take the credit of what Ekta says.

I've got nothing to do with it.

I've got nothing to do with it.

Absolutely nothing.

Can you divorce this body,

Mind person like that?

I've got nothing to do with him or her.

Like that.

Constantly at a distance.

Constantly standing as the witness.

Not as the person.

Allowing the idea of this person to die.

Is that your first priority?

Only then you can claim you're a yogi.

Otherwise you fall into the boat of the bhogi.

So work on this homework task.

So the yogi's life is governed by a single desire to find the truth.

The bhogi serves many masters.

But the bhogi becomes a yogi and the yogi may get a rounding up in a bout of bhoga.

The final result is the same.

You might slip.

A yogi who's not completely established,

There are levels of enlightenment.

I've discussed this in other videos.

I've also discussed it on the Buddha's path in the Buddha's videos.

So if he has not reached final enlightenment,

He can slip.

I have spoken about fallen yogis.

They can slip.

And when they slip,

They get into a bout of bhoga.

So there you can see there are many religious and spiritual leaders out there who have slipped.

For name,

Fame,

Money,

Craving for a Nobel Peace Prize,

Craving for more followers,

Craving for an organization,

Etc.

This is a slip where none of that is important.

Where even sitting on this chair is not his wish.

That is final enlightenment.

Where he is just forced by the flow and he has to just go in circles.

There is no other direction that the flow takes him into.

Buddha is reported to have said that it is tremendously important to have heard that there is enlightenment.

A complete reversal and transformation in consciousness.

The good news is compared to a spark in a shipload of cotton.

Slowly but relentlessly,

The whole of it will turn to ashes.

Similarly,

The good news of enlightenment will sooner or later bring about a transformation.

Exactly what you were saying right now.

The flow will automatically take you there.

You just heard about it and you got started on this path.

See how your own flow has brought you so deep into it.

Coming to Advaita Vedanta is not easy.

Have you realized it?

It's so hard to get even interested in self-inquiry.

Are you seeing?

It's a lot of effort.

It's so easy to sing a song and dance in worship and chant a mantra.

Or do pranayama and do yoga and go home.

And feel oh see I'm on the path of enlightenment.

But when you do that continuously and you see you're not going anywhere.

You're breaking your head against some glass wall.

Then you come to Advaita.

Then you realize there's something beyond.

Something that I was missing.

And then everything Dwaitam starts dropping away.

Fading away.

And Advaitam takes priority.

So see how your flow took you through Dwaitam all the way to Advaitam.

Only one spark is required.

It's that good news that there is a possibility for transformation.

There's a possibility for me to get rid of suffering.

I don't want to be with it but I am constantly surrounded by it.

This suffering.

This when you recognize oh there is a way for this to go away.

Then your path begins.

Right?

Recognize that moment where that first spark started for you.

That's the beautiful moment of your life that got you to this path.

So that's what he's saying.

The good news of enlightenment will sooner or later bring about a transformation.

He's encouraging you to continue.

It will happen.

Yeah?

If you saw the first degree,

Great.

You saw the second degree,

You see automatically next step happened.

Some of you went from second degree to the third degree of seeing.

Automatically that happened.

Yeah?

So the transformation will happen on its own.

Just keep chugging.

Maharaj says yes.

First hearing,

Shravana.

Then remembering,

Smarana.

Pondering,

Manana and so on.

So on is?

Who remembers?

Nidhidhyasa.

Assimilation.

Yeah?

Shravana,

Smarana,

Manana and nidhidhyasa.

We are on familiar ground.

The man who heard the news becomes a yogi while the rest continue in their bhoga.

So you can all claim that you are a yogi.

You've started at least.

Yeah?

And the ones around you who didn't start,

They are bhogis.

Yeah?

Again,

Don't go home and say,

You lower mortal bhogi.

No,

That's not what Maharaj is telling you to do.

Yeah?

Just recognize before that you were a bhogi and now you have started the path of the yogi.

But you agree that yogi.

But you agree that living a life,

Just living the hambram life of the world,

Being born to die and dying to be born,

Advances man by its sheer volume.

Just like the river finds its way to the sea by the sheer mass of the water it gathers.

This is his question.

Yeah?

He's asking Maharaj,

Do you agree to this?

Maharaj says,

Before the world was,

Consciousness was.

In consciousness,

The world comes into being.

Please highlight.

In consciousness,

The world comes into being.

In consciousness,

It lasts.

And into pure consciousness,

It dissolves.

At the root of everything is the feeling I am.

The state of mind,

There is a world,

Is secondary.

For to be,

I do not need the world.

The world needs me.

That is where the 10th degree of seeing will take you.

I do not need the world.

The world needs me.

What does this mean?

You started getting a glimpse today.

What is the world?

Sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch,

Thought,

Feeling,

Sensation.

That is the world.

Is there anything other than that?

Can you find a ninth factor in the world?

There is nothing else.

That is the world.

Yeah?

Is that dependent on me or am I dependent on it?

That is the world.

Correct.

Yeah?

The world needs me,

The consciousness.

To be,

I do not need the world.

Yes,

That part is very,

Very clear.

Therefore,

The state of mind,

There is the world.

Its secondary is not even the right word.

The Marathi word is gone,

The lowest level possible for somebody who does not understand knowledge.

For a beginner level,

The lowest level kind of understanding,

There is a world.

It's the lowest level kind of understanding.

Petty understanding.

Yeah?

Beginner understanding,

Bhogi understanding,

Not a yogi understanding that there is a world.

Yeah?

The real seer sees,

Oh,

It's only sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch,

Thought,

Feeling,

Sensation.

They arise and they fall.

There is no continuity.

Yeah?

Only in retrospect,

The memory created a story.

Yeah?

That I learned this from Vidyaranya in the morning,

This degrees of seeing in the afternoon from Ekta.

I practiced these perception walks.

You've created a story about the day.

Do you see that?

But really,

Is there a continuity?

You yourself said there is no continuity.

Is that clear?

Yeah?

So,

There is no world,

Really.

That's the highest seeing.

The belief that there is a world is a very petty,

Low-level understanding.

Yeah?

So,

I'll read that again.

Before the world was,

Consciousness was.

How many of you saw this?

Superb.

So,

You recognize just the sense of I am standing alone first.

That's when you didn't understand anything.

And then came the thought,

I have to go to class.

Do you get it?

So,

First is consciousness,

Then is thought.

So,

I'll read that sentence again.

Before the world was,

Consciousness was.

So,

Those who have not seen what she has seen today,

Please take it down as a task for your Swapna Nidra Jnan Sadhana.

Can I recognize the arising of the I before the thought comes up,

Before a feeling comes up,

Before some sensation comes up?

Yeah?

Write this down as a task for your SNGS for tonight.

Before the world was,

Consciousness was.

In consciousness,

The world comes into being.

In consciousness,

It lasts.

And into pure consciousness,

It dissolves.

What is this seeing?

What does this describe?

Didn't you see it today?

Yes,

The wave,

The arising.

Yeah?

It arises from consciousness.

It peaks in consciousness and then it dissolves back.

It's talking about the wave.

So,

It is your own seeing.

At the root of everything is the feeling I am.

The better translation is the sense of I am.

Yes,

The state of mind,

There is a world,

Is a very low level understanding.

For to be,

I do not need the world.

The world needs me.

This is also very clear?

This also you saw?

Yes?

I do not need.

I can stand alone.

The consciousness can stand alone.

The world needs the consciousness.

Consciousness does not need the world.

So,

The questioner asks,

The desire to live is a tremendous thing.

He's talking about Jiji Vishya.

Those who are already on the path and know the Sanskrit terms,

The craving to exist.

You see,

That's tremendous.

Maharaj says,

Still greater is the freedom from the urge to live.

The door that gets you in,

Gets you out.

The craving to exist got you into this maya.

Now,

The vasana to leave will get you out.

The door that gets you in,

Gets you out.

So,

The questioner is not at that level to understand the freedom from the urge to live.

So,

He asked,

The freedom of the stone?

Like the stone,

You mean?

The stone doesn't have an urge to live.

So,

Maharaj says,

Yes,

The freedom of the stone and much more.

Much more besides that.

It is freedom unlimited,

Yet conscious.

Stone is unconscious,

And it is limited.

But this freedom is unlimited,

And it is conscious because I am that space of that witnessing awareness.

Do I have a limit?

Do I have a border?

Anything that can limit me?

No.

So,

I am unlimited.

It's very,

Very clear.

And it's knowingness itself,

It's consciousness itself.

So,

It is much more than the freedom of the stone.

So,

He asked the question,

Is not personality required for gathering experience?

Maharaj says,

As you are now,

The personality is only an obstacle.

This is from where the name of the chapter has been taken.

As you are now,

The personality is only an obstacle.

Self-identification with the body may be good for an infant,

But true growing up depends on getting the body out of the way.

Who needs to identify with the body?

The infant.

It's required for him to be able to deal in this samsara.

But as you grow up,

What is maturity?

Getting the body out of the way.

Is that very clear?

Maharaj is telling you exactly the same thing that Vidyaranya was telling you.

I am not the body.

Get it out of the way.

What is the body?

Body is nothing but sensation.

That's all the body is.

Was it continuous?

Tell me,

Was sensation continuous?

Can you say the sensation is permanent?

Can you say it is the I?

Then can you say the body is I?

Can you say the body is continuous?

That which is not continuous,

That which is not I.

Get that idea out of the way.

It's only an idea.

It arises and it falls.

It arises and it falls.

I pick all these arisings.

I weave a story out of it and then I believe that I am the body.

The more I believe I am the body,

The more I suffer.

The moment I recognize,

No,

I am that witnessing awareness space that is knowing this body-mind person called Ekta.

I am not Ekta.

I am knowing Ekta.

When I completely dissociate,

The Tadatma breaks.

I completely dissociate.

Then I become free.

Now I'm not anymore bound by this body.

And this body is out of the way.

Is that clear?

It's not some miraculous out of the way thing you're going to do.

It's very simple.

Exactly seeing what you saw today,

That sensations are not continuous.

They are waves.

They arise and they fall.

There is a gap in between sensations.

So then I'll give you one more little exercise to do.

When you feel I am the body,

Do you recognize it lasts only for a few seconds and then it goes away?

Yeah,

You're not aware of the body when I'm not talking about your body.

When I started talking about you being the person,

Suddenly the awareness came.

There is a body.

Yeah,

When we were talking about the previous paragraph,

That time there was no body.

Do you realize this?

Now we'll go to the next paragraph.

You'll again forget the body.

The sensations will be gone.

Yeah,

You're just holding on to the concept,

The idea.

Yeah,

It's only a theory that I am this body.

No,

I am not this body.

I am the awareness in which there is one attachment hanging on,

Which I have called my body.

Yeah,

And there are a few attached thoughts which continuously come.

Family,

Name,

Fame,

Money,

Whatever your thoughts are.

Those thoughts continuously are there.

They're just hanging in the space of awareness that I am.

Yeah,

The world is in me.

The world needs me.

I am not in the world.

Is this clear?

I do not even need the world.

So,

As you are now,

The personality is only an obstacle.

Self-identification with the body may be good for an infant,

But true growing up depends on getting the body out of the way.

Normally,

One should outgrow body-based desires early in life.

Even the bhogi who does not refuse enjoyments need not hanker after the ones he has tasted.

Habit,

Desire for repetition frustrates both the yogi and the bhogi.

Number one,

Is it still early life going on for you?

If it is,

Then you know what I'm talking about.

You're still a teenager.

Patrata is not there yet.

Not there yet.

Yeah,

You were supposed to get over this early in life.

Yeah,

It's quite late.

Do you recognize that?

Has the emergency bell rung yet?

Yeah,

This is emergency.

Wake up and see.

Early in life,

This should have really gone.

And I'm sure the people who have lived more than half the century now realize this is pointless,

That this is futile.

You have gotten over a few things,

Right?

Yes,

But there are a few which are still very strong attachments.

Those also will start dropping away.

So good.

Pat yourself on the back if you have a few that have really gone.

That means you worked correctly in your early life.

You did the right things in your early life.

And now those who are feeling guilty,

No worries.

We'll catch up.

Yeah,

We'll catch up.

Get serious.

Make this your number one priority.

Drop even restlessness of the body and the mind.

I do not care for it because I am not the body and I'm not the mind.

Yeah,

Drop the resistance of the ego.

I am not that.

Yes,

I do not need any of these.

Discard them.

Get the body out of the way.

Get the mind out of the way.

Get the ego out of the way.

And see,

At rocket speed,

You will move.

Yeah,

Because personality is the only obstacle.

So all your body-based desires should have gone early in life.

Take this down as a homework.

Has this happened to you yet?

All body-based desires,

Have they left you early in life?

Not just for the yogi.

He says even for the bhogi,

It happens.

He gets tired of the world.

Yeah,

So if it's not happened,

Something is really wrong.

Work on that.

Figure it out.

Questioner,

Why do you keep on dismissing the person,

The vyakti?

Yeah,

As of no importance.

Personality is the primary factor of our existence.

It occupies the entire stage.

Who's speaking here?

Big ego.

Yeah,

Ego is talking here.

Personality occupies the entire stage.

Personality occupies the entire stage.

Why are you dismissing the vyakti,

The person?

So Maharaj says,

As long as you do not see that it is a mere habit,

Means the vyakti is a mere habit.

As long as you do not see that the vyakti is a mere habit,

Built on memory,

Prompted by desire,

You will think yourself to be a person.

Yeah,

Become very clear.

It's only built on memory.

Mummy said,

You were born on this day.

You have no direct experience.

Yeah,

There were conditionings.

You did this.

You broke this toy.

You did not drink your milk.

Conditioning,

You are the doer.

Yeah,

Are you feeling okay?

Did your kindergarten teacher treat you well?

Did your friends really make you happy today?

You are the experiencer.

Are you seeing this?

Yes,

And that's how conditioning developed.

The person was developed on these memories and they go on and on and on through childhood,

Through teenage and you come to adulthood.

You're collecting like these things,

Collecting all these memories.

All you have is a bank of memories in your head about who this person is.

Do you see that?

Vyakti was built on all these memories and then you repeated certain memories.

Mummy taught you drink milk always,

Every day.

Till today you drink milk.

It is what?

A habit.

Yeah,

Speak like this,

Don't speak like this.

It is a habit.

Yeah,

Some rebellion started in you because they told you do this.

You didn't want to do it.

Till today you do the same rebellion.

Habit.

So the vyakti,

The person has been developed on these memories and habits.

When you see,

Oh,

It's only a chain of thought.

Memory is thought,

Habit is thought.

Yeah,

Perception is thought,

Sensation is thought,

Feeling is thought.

Everything is only thought.

Oh,

Vyakti is only a thought.

There is no vyakti,

There is no person.

Then you wake up.

Oh,

It's only an idea that comes and goes,

Rises like a wave,

Peaks and disappears.

Is this clear?

Then you will be able to stay as yourself,

As the witnessing awareness space in which suddenly this vyakti comes up and then disappears and then comes up and disappears.

So the next exercise for you is to recognize when suddenly this vyakti comes up and disappears.

It comes up and it disappears.

Yes,

Look at the truth.

What is the now?

What is the now?

Is that whole story there in the now?

Just one arising.

Just one arising at a time.

That whole story is not a part of the now.

Yeah,

So then you start seeing,

Oh,

Vyakti,

Person,

Is nothing but memory,

Nothing but thought.

When I want to bring up the thought,

It comes up.

Yeah,

When I'm completely in the now,

It's not there.

There is no idea of me being this.

Oh,

Because it is not this.

This is only an idea.

This is only an idea.

Yeah,

When you start seeing this as an idea,

You start seeing this as a memory,

This as a thought,

Then you will start living.

That is true life.

Yeah,

When you disassociate from this.

Did that become clear,

The first half of the sentence?

I'll read it again.

As long as you do not see that the vyakti is mere habit built on memory,

Prompted by desire,

You will think yourself to be a person,

Living,

Feeling,

Thinking,

Active,

Passive,

Pleased or pained.

Question yourself,

Ask yourself,

Is it so?

Who am I?

You did that today,

Kept looking at me.

You did that today,

Kept looking,

Oh,

There is just the arising,

Just an arising,

Just an arising.

Where is the person?

If you've not done it,

Start doing it today.

Yeah,

Who am I?

If there is only one arising in the now,

Where am I?

Who am I?

If this body is nothing but one sensation,

Arising and falling away,

What am I?

Ask yourself this question.

What is behind and beyond all this?

And soon you will see your mistake.

And it is in that very nature of a mistake to cease to be,

Then see.

The moment you see it's a mistake,

It will stop,

It will cease,

It will halt,

It will end.

Yeah,

Just have the courage to acknowledge this,

Holding on to this and thinking,

I am this person,

Is a mistake.

Yeah,

All you need is the courage to acknowledge it.

Like I courageously say,

I am not ekta.

Do you have that courage to say that?

Do you get it?

That,

Getting to that point where you courageously say,

I am not ekta,

I am not whoever,

Whatever your name is.

I am not the person.

I am the witness of this person.

The witnessing consciousness of this person.

Yeah,

That constant recognition,

The constant breaking of the Tadatma,

That is the key.

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