I Am That - Session 72 - Ch 25 Hold On To "I Am" - Part 2

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Trigger Warning: This practice may include references to death, dying, and the departed.

Transcript

Let's move ahead.

Maharaj says,

There is no thing which could be called me or mine.

Desire is a state of the mind,

Perceived and named by the mind.

Without the mind perceiving and naming,

Where is desire?

Questioner said,

But is there such a thing as perceiving without naming?

Maharaj says,

Of course,

Naming cannot go beyond the mind,

While perceiving is consciousness itself.

Did you get that?

How did he come to perceiving and naming?

Mind perceives a wave of knowledge and names it as my desire,

My personal desire.

Perceiving and then naming,

Labeling.

Done by whom?

The mind.

Can perceiving and labeling be done beyond?

Labeling,

Does it happen at the level of witness?

Where does perceiving happen?

Where is the seer?

Is the seer at the level of the mind?

No.

The seer is beyond.

That means perceiving is beyond.

It's at the consciousness level.

But labeling ends at the mind.

So there can be perceiving without labeling.

Very clear?

Yes?

This is called Vijnana on the Buddha's path.

I'm drawing a parallel between the two paths.

Perceiving without labeling.

So when you are the witness,

When you are observing your tiger wave or your butterfly wave,

And you simply are attempting to be the witness,

Whenever there is labeling happening,

Where are you?

At the mind.

When you become very strong,

I'm going to face this and you really become the witness,

Then is there labeling?

No.

There is simply perceiving the dance of that wave.

Whether a feeling,

Whether a thought,

Whether a perception,

Whether a sensation.

There is simply perceiving.

Simply perceiving.

No labels.

I don't like it.

I want it.

I don't want it.

No.

Even if it's a whirlpool and it's the most chaotic thing in front of you,

Simply perceiving is called witnessing.

Being a Sakshi.

The moment I start labeling it,

I have again become the mind.

So he asks,

Is it possible that there can be perceiving without labeling?

What is the answer?

Yes.

Have you glimpsed it yet?

Fantastic.

Those who have not glimpsed it yet,

This is something I need to work on.

The Sakshi is very weak.

That means,

Otherwise I would have seen this.

There is simply perceiving.

No labeling at the level of the Sakshi because the Sakshi does not speak.

So who will say I like it or I don't like it?

I want it or I don't want it.

Sakshi does not speak.

It is perceiving without labeling.

You bring up the memory of a tiger.

Oh,

I don't like him.

Where am I?

At the level of the mind.

I'm just there.

It's going like this.

I'm just there,

Not saying anything.

Where am I?

At the witness level.

Perceiving without labeling.

But it goes on and on.

I don't like this.

Now again I've come back to the mind.

I've slipped.

Yes,

Again it goes on.

I'm like no.

Now I'm going to be really strong.

Perceiving without labeling.

Witnessing.

Very clear?

That's one screen made of awareness.

Like a hologram is made of light,

This hologram is made of awareness.

3D awareness hologram.

Very clear?

Perceiving without labeling.

Simply perceiving.

Is there such a thing as perceiving without naming?

Of course.

Naming cannot go beyond the mind.

While perceiving is consciousness itself.

When somebody dies,

What exactly happens?

Nothing happens.

Something becomes nothing.

Nothing was.

Nothing remains.

Something,

Waking state.

Some blurry thing,

Dream state.

Nothing.

Deep sleep state.

This is happening every day.

Not a big deal.

Something becomes nothing.

Nothing was.

Nothing remains.

There is no death of the body.

We die every night.

It's as good as going to sleep.

You're not even going to know.

This is the last.

Unnecessary fears you'll have about death.

Doesn't exist.

Did you know you were born?

Same.

Exactly same.

Just like you turn right,

Left,

Right,

Left,

And you don't even know when,

Poof,

You're gone.

Like that.

Nothing to fear.

There is no death.

There is no death.

There is no who.

There is no person.

Who is going to die?

That who doesn't exist?

There's simply the knowledge of something and then there is the knowledge of nothing.

I can project the death of somebody else and see it as matter because I am believing this as matter.

But it is awareness.

The death of the other person is also nothing but awareness.

Of course,

Death of some family member,

Some friend.

You go to a funeral and then there is no matter.

What is this?

This is nothing but my own projection.

This funeral,

The burning of the body or whatever,

Burial of the body.

This entire thing.

It could be happening on a film screen.

It could be happening in the dream.

It is only that attachment of the ego to that body,

That holding the mamata on that,

That is spoken.

That is spoken.

Oh,

My beloved or my friend,

My colleague.

Oh,

That person that was there for me,

There to give me validation,

Confirmation that I am this.

That is gone.

My validation is gone.

My confirmation is gone.

If really you were so disturbed,

How did you sleep that night?

You should have not had deep sleep.

But you did.

Why?

Because this waking body ended with that waking state that day.

There was the dream.

There was something else in the dream.

If you were really so attached,

How could you be in a dream?

You could be flying in the dream with your friends.

How did you have that peaceful deep sleep?

Even if it was just 10-20 minutes,

How?

There you were not concerned with that body that died.

It is only your projection,

All of it.

Very hard for the ego to accept,

Recognize that.

Very,

Very hard,

Especially if it is a beloved.

That is one thing you need to work on.

You conquer death before death conquers you.

You overcome this unnecessary fear of death.

On the Buddha's path,

We have this exercise,

Which I give to a lot of people before coming for the Buddha retreat at a particular level.

You have to spend 2 days at a cemetery.

Go sit there for 1-2 hours.

Wherever you are,

Varies from country to country,

You will see some body getting buried,

You will see something or the other.

In India,

You see the burning of the funeral pyre.

You see it,

See it and just sit there.

Sit with the death of a body that is unknown to you.

That is a part of the practice.

It is hard hitting,

But the ego should know.

This that I am seeing is nothing but a projection.

The whole idea that there is a person there,

That,

That who,

That idea needs to be overcome.

The same thing Buddha has on his path.

Exactly the same thing.

There is no person.

There is shunyata,

Zeroness,

Nothingness.

Surely there is a difference between the living and the dead.

You speak of the living as dead and of the dead as living.

Maharaj says,

Why do you fret at one man dying and care little for the millions dying every day?

Entire universes are imploding and exploding every moment.

Am I to cry over them?

One thing is quite clear to me.

All that is,

Lives and moves and has its being in consciousness and I am in and beyond that consciousness.

I am in it as the witness.

I am beyond it as the being.

Yeah,

So he's saying,

Whatever is,

I am in it as the witness of it.

And the sense of I am,

Along with its thought,

Feeling,

Sensation,

Perception,

In the ocean of nothingness.

So I am in it as the witness.

I am beyond it as the being,

The entire ocean of nothingness.

Very clear?

So questioner says,

Surely you care when your child is ill,

Don't you?

This is very,

Very important.

The most important paragraph.

Maharaj says,

I don't get flustered.

I just do the needful,

Whatever is required for the child he does.

I do not worry about the future.

A right response to every situation is in my nature.

Please highlight.

A right response to every situation is in my nature.

Does he mean only Nisargadatta Maharaj's nature and not in your nature?

No,

He means all of the waves are nothing but H2O.

It is in the nature of H2O.

It's not my H2O versus your H2O.

Do you get it?

So the right response is programmed in this H2O.

The right response is programmed in this body-mind.

Yeah,

So I'll read that again.

A right response to every situation is in my nature.

I do not stop to think what to do.

I act and move on.

The results do not affect me.

I do not even care whether they are good or bad.

Whatever they are,

They are.

If they come back to me,

I deal with them afresh.

This body-mind works automatically.

The program is inbuilt.

It is the nature.

It knows the right response.

Child is ill.

This body-mind,

Which is the parent of the child,

Takes care.

Whatever is the right response is done.

He says,

I let it happen.

I do not jump in.

I do not think what should be done.

I don't even think what should be the result of this.

Which should be good,

Which should be bad.

Whatever it is,

He doesn't even label the end result.

If it comes back,

This body-mind again knows what to do.

It will do it again.

If it comes back 10 times,

That's okay.

This body-mind knows what to do.

The child could have some recurrent illness.

This body-mind knows what to do.

I do not jump in.

I do not act.

He knows that he cannot think about it.

He is very clear.

I am the witness of it.

There is nothing like think about.

I cannot think about it.

This body,

Which is the parent of the child,

Knows what to do.

It is a part of the program.

I am just standing afar and watching this father and son,

He is saying.

I don't jump in.

Like watching the movie on the screen.

It's pointless to jump in just because the son is sick and the father is taking care.

No,

No,

Don't do that.

Do this.

No,

He doesn't do that.

There is no jumping in this body,

Which is the father,

Knows what to do for the son.

I am the witness of both the father and the son.

Not just the son.

Results do not affect me.

I do not even care whether they are good or bad.

Whatever they are,

They are.

If they come back to me,

I deal with them afresh.

Or rather,

I happen to deal with them afresh.

There is no sense of purpose in my doing anything.

Please highlight.

You are looking for a sense of purpose in every action.

There is no sense of purpose in my doing anything.

Things happen as they happen,

Not because I make them happen.

But it is because I am that they happen.

Is this clear?

What do you think?

No,

No,

I made this retreat happen.

What if I had not taken leave from work,

I had not done all this preparation,

Booked those flights,

Come here.

How would this happen?

This would have not happened.

He is saying,

No,

This is all a part of that program,

The flow.

It automatically happens.

Things happen on their own.

I do not make them happen.

Just because I am,

They happen.

When I am not,

Nothing happens.

When I am not,

There is no waking state,

No dreaming state.

Because I have dissolved into the nothingness.

Only when I arise out of the nothingness,

The waking state appears and there appears to be a retreat.

Again,

There is just a dream state.

Nowadays,

I am getting thoughts of what happened at the retreat.

Some wisdom is coming up.

It is a wise dream now.

Because I am,

There is a wise dream.

At the end,

What happens?

I collapse,

There is nothing.

So because I am,

Things happen.

I do not make them happen.

You know what is a catalyst?

Chemistry lab experiments we had done in school.

A catalyst is just there.

It is not making anything happen.

It is just there.

In its presence,

Things happen.

Like that.

I am simply there.

Things happen.

And I know them after they happen.

I cannot make things happen.

Yes,

In the same paragraph,

He has told you that I cannot think.

Thinking happens on its own.

And in the same paragraph,

He has told you I cannot act,

I cannot do.

Action happens on its own.

That's why I said this is very important,

This paragraph.

Things happen to things.

Yes.

Also,

There is no sense of purpose in my doing anything.

Why have I come to this retreat?

Your mind will go on.

Because,

Dash,

Dash,

Dash,

Dash,

Dash,

Dash,

Dash,

Dash.

It will fill in so many lines you can write on the purpose.

But a part of you knows.

It's lies.

Just a bunch of lies.

I just created stories.

There is no purpose.

And the ego doesn't like this idea.

No,

No,

No.

Everything should have a purpose in life.

Lies.

It's all lies.

The sun has a purpose for shining.

Oh,

I want to give life to all those humans and animals on the planet.

That's why I'm shining.

No.

Nothing like that.

It doesn't have any such misguided thinking about itself.

Sun shines.

That's its nature.

Flower blooms.

It's not blooming for your compliment.

Wow,

Such a flower.

It doesn't give.

A bird is singing.

It's not singing for your compliment or to make you happy.

There is no purpose.

It is singing,

Period.

Life simply is.

There is no purpose to life.

Life is.

The waking projection is.

There is no purpose to it.

There is a blog post I've written.

God has no purpose.

The ego wants a purpose,

No?

Doesn't like it.

Oh,

God has no purpose.

There is nothing like a purpose.

Clear?

Everything simply is.

Just be.

Just be with that.

How tough is it?

Keep it simple.

There is no sense of purpose in my doing anything.

Things happen as they happen.

Not because I make them happen.

But it is because I am that they happen.

In reality,

Nothing ever happens.

This is the highest.

When you come to the higher levels,

You will recognize in reality nothing is happening.

There is simply knowledge.

Knowledge of this wave.

Then the knowledge of that wave.

Knowledge of that wave.

Knowledge of the wave.

Not the wave.

Knowledge of movement.

Not movement.

Do you get it?

Do you get it?

Knowledge of perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling.

Not perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling.

That's where we are going tomorrow.

There is simply knowledge.

Can you see this?

Can you see this?

This chapter is like in your face.

Now,

This is something you should really look through again.

Whenever the ego tells you,

See,

I did this.

I am the experiencer.

Come back here.

In reality,

Nothing ever happens.

When the mind is restless,

It makes Shiva dance.

Like the restless waters of the lake make the moon dance.

It is all appearance due to wrong ideas.

You see?

There is nothing happening there.

Just appearance of the wave.

Just knowledge of the wave.

Not a real wave.

When you watch a movie,

There is no real hero or heroine there.

There is only light.

There is appearance of the form of a hero or a heroine.

They are not there.

Exactly like that.

There is just knowledge of the wave.

Knowledge of perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling.

Not perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling.

So,

When the mind is restless,

It makes Shiva dance.

Like the restless waters of the lake make the moon dance.

It is all appearance due to wrong ideas.

Questioner Surely you are aware of many things and behave according to their nature.

You treat a child as a child and an adult as an adult.

Maharaj says,

Just as the taste of salt pervades the great ocean and every single drop of sea water carries the same flavor,

So,

Every experience gives me the touch of reality,

The ever-fresh realization of my own being.

What is he saying?

In every perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling,

What do you see?

You get lost in that perception,

Sensation,

Thought,

Feeling.

What does Maharaj see?

Yeah,

He sees the no-thingness.

The no-thingness out of which it arises and falls back.

He sees that it is not really happening.

He sees his own true being.

The no-thingness is predominant to him.

For example,

This space has all these objects.

You are focusing on the objects.

Maharaj is focusing on the space around the objects.

So,

Every experience gives him the opportunity to recognize his own being.

His focus is on the space around the object.

Your focus is on the object.

That is what he means by every drop of the ocean tastes exactly identical.

The same salt,

Saline taste.

Exactly the same.

So,

Whatever it is in front of you,

Perception of sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch,

Thought,

Feeling,

Sensation,

All of it has the same no-thingness wrapped around all of them.

They arise out of no-thingness and dissolve into it.

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