I Am That Chapter 16 Desirelessness-The Highest Bliss Part 5

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Transcript

So last week the questioner asked,

Maharaj,

What is worth wanting?

Because Maharaj told him you want things and because you want them back you cannot have them.

Why?

Because your state of craving,

That craving that keeps coming up,

Keeps coming up,

That state of craving blocks deeper experiences.

So he asked Maharaj,

Then what is worth really desiring?

What is worth wanting?

Maharaj said you should want the best,

The highest happiness,

The greatest freedom and desirelessness is the highest bliss.

That is what you should be really looking for.

So that is where the chapter got its name from and I explained to you how when I grasp onto a thought I get into desiring.

That is where I lose my bliss.

When I don't grasp into any thoughts instead of focusing on the thoughts I turn inwards and focus on the sense of I am,

I notice every thought follows the focus and dissolves.

Every feeling follows the focus and dissolves.

Every perception,

Every sensation follows that focus,

The line of focus,

The direction of focus and it dissolves into the nothingness.

That itself brings that sweet peace that comes from the love,

The affection of the no-things.

That sweet peace is the highest bliss.

That's where we stop.

So the questioner now goes ahead and asks,

Freedom from desire is not the freedom I want.

I want the freedom to fulfill my longings.

Most of us I hear,

We don't want to be desireless.

No,

No.

I want my desire to be fulfilled.

I want this car,

That job,

I want that name and fame,

I want this relationship to succeed,

I want my children to be like this,

I want my grandchildren to be like this,

It goes on and on and on,

The list of desires.

So he says,

I don't want freedom from desire,

That's not the freedom I want.

I want freedom to fulfill all my longings,

Fulfill all my desires.

So Maharaj says,

You are free to fulfill your longings.

As a matter of fact,

You are doing nothing else.

20,

30,

40,

50 years of your life,

60 years of your life,

What have you done?

You've only been running behind longings and you've been really trying very hard to fulfill this,

Fulfill that.

You've not been doing anything else.

He says,

I try,

But there are obstacles which leave me frustrated.

Maharaj says,

Overcome them.

Questioner says,

I cannot,

I am too weak.

Maharaj asks,

What makes you weak?

What is weakness?

Others fulfill their desires,

Why don't you?

So questioner says,

I must be lacking energy.

Maharaj says,

What happened to your energy?

Where did it go?

Did you not scatter it over so many contradictory desires and pursuits?

You don't have an infinite supply of energy.

I'll stop for a moment.

It's a reminder,

Few chapters ago,

Maharaj spoke about contradictions.

Yes,

I want something,

And then after some time,

It's the same thing I don't want.

I have opposites or contradictions in my mind.

Yeah,

I think I gave you a few examples.

You want to go for a walk,

You're wrapping up things at home,

I have to go for a walk,

I have to go for a walk,

I have to go for a walk.

And when I'm doing the things at home,

Wrapping them up,

I'm constantly thinking I have to go for a walk.

When you go for a walk,

You're constantly thinking,

I have to come back home and finish this.

I have to come back home and do this.

I have to come back home and do this.

So,

There's constant contradiction.

What you are doing,

You are not there with it.

You have a contradictory thought,

A contradictory direction that you want to move in.

That is where you lose your energy.

So,

I'll read that again.

What happened to your energy?

Where did it go?

Did you not scatter it over so many contradictory desires and pursuits?

You don't have an infinite supply of energy.

Questioner says,

Why not?

Maharaj says,

Because your aims are small and low.

They do not call for more.

Only God's energy is infinite.

Because he wants nothing for himself.

Be like him and all your desires will be fulfilled.

The higher your aims and baster and baster your desires,

The more energy you will have for their fulfillment.

Desire the good of all and the universe will work with you.

But if you want your own pleasure,

You must earn it the hard way.

Before desiring,

Deserve.

This makes complete sense.

If my desires are so small and very low and petty,

They don't call for a big amount of energy.

Yes?

If I want an infinite amount of energy for that,

I need to have the infinite welfare in my pursuit.

Yes,

My desire should be very big for the benefit of all.

Then only will it call for an infinite supply of energy.

Is this clear?

Yes.

How much ever my desire is,

That much only energy it calls for.

If my desire is bigger,

It will call for a large amount of energy.

And if my desire is like God,

For the welfare of everyone,

Then it will call for the highest amount of energy.

Yes.

Maharaj's logic is very,

Very clear.

Yes.

Remember,

This is a Dwaitam participant.

He's come from the Dwaitam side.

He's still looking to fulfill certain desires in life.

Yes.

So,

Maharaj is very clear.

Personal means selfish.

You will have to get it the hard way.

Yes.

Because it is petty.

It is small.

It is only me and mine.

Me and my family.

Me means this body is what I consider as me.

And the bodies related to this body are mine.

Yes.

Me and mine.

This is very petty and small.

Yes.

It is a very lowly desire.

So,

It calls for low energy and you will have to earn it the hard way.

Very,

Very hard way.

You want the easy way?

The easy way is to desire for all.

Yeah.

May the entire humanity benefit.

May everyone be helped.

Yes.

Then you call for an infinite amount of energy like God's energy.

Very clear.

Highlight that part.

Before desiring,

Deserve.

So,

Every time your mind comes up with a petty little desire,

I want this thing.

Yeah.

New phone in the market.

I want that new branded phone.

Petty desire.

Selfish desire.

Before desiring,

Deserve.

Running behind these small,

Small,

Small,

Small petty desires.

Are you really getting joy from that phone?

Look at it.

Yeah.

It's just a few minutes of joy taking that new handset.

After that follows only a long tail of pain.

An endless long tail.

Yeah.

There is no joy there anymore.

Now the mind goes for something else.

Then it goes for something else.

Then goes for something else.

It keeps searching,

Searching,

Searching,

Searching,

Searching.

Because it's very petty,

You know.

It's looking for something for me.

This body-mind which it's considering as me.

Very selfish.

So,

Selfish desires always call for low energy.

They will always bring sorrow.

Because the mind finally is an unhappy little bottomless spot which can never be fulfilled.

The questioner says,

I am engaged in the study of philosophy,

Sociology and education.

I think more mental development is needed before I can dream of self-realization.

Am I on the right track?

Maharaj says,

To earn a livelihood,

Some specialized knowledge is needed.

General knowledge develops the mind,

No doubt.

But if you are going to spend your life in amassing knowledge,

You build a wall around yourself.

To go beyond the mind,

A well-furnished mind is not needed.

I have people tell you that,

You know,

I am not mentally strong yet.

I need to be there to be able to take Advaita or to understand this highest truth.

They are just making excuses.

Maharaj says it very clearly,

To go beyond the mind,

A well-furnished mind is not needed.

You don't have to be mature in the mind.

You don't need to know a zillion things.

You don't need to amass knowledge from zillion scriptures.

You don't need to do a zillion techniques to make the mind smart.

Then you understand the truth.

No,

No.

These are all excuses.

Recognize the truth.

For generally,

To operate in this dream world,

The mind might need the knowledge of this dream world.

So,

It functions better in this dream world.

But to transcend the mind,

A well-furnished mind is not required.

Is that very clear?

Yeah.

If this body-mind has been given the role of a doctor,

It needs to learn medicine.

If this body-mind has been given the role of an engineer to function very well,

It needs to study engineering.

So,

It needs to study all these things in the world to be able to operate in the dream world.

But to transcend this dream world,

To transcend the mind,

The mind does not need any knowledge.

Is that very clear?

Yeah.

So,

When he says that he needs a little more mental development,

Maharaj says,

No.

To go beyond the mind,

A well-furnished mind is not needed.

And the most important thing,

If you keep on amassing knowledge,

You just build a wall around yourself.

What is amassing knowledge?

In my old age,

I will apply.

Right now,

I'm just going to attend and listen to the scripture,

Listen to that scripture,

Go to that guru,

Go to that teacher,

That Swami is in town.

Hey,

That one is in town.

Let me listen to this.

This is all amassing knowledge.

When I become 75 years old,

That time I will implement.

Not now.

Maharaj says,

You are just building walls around yourself.

You think when you get to 75,

You are going to really apply?

No.

Everything gets sucked into nothingness.

Boof,

It's gone.

All thoughts,

All learnings,

All my study,

All concepts,

All ideas,

Everything gets sucked into the nothingness.

The black hole sucks everything and it's gone.

Yeah.

Look back at your own things that you studied.

Maybe you went to medical college.

Maybe you went to engineering.

You did architecture.

What do you remember of those books?

Hardly anything.

Yes.

Four years,

Five years of medical school,

Engineering school,

Your architecture school,

All knowledge gone.

You can't remember five minutes of stuff.

Yeah.

Where is all that gone?

Everything gets sucked into the black hole of nothingness,

Of shunyata,

Of the primordial awareness.

So forget about it.

After 75,

I'm going to apply this knowledge.

It's not going to happen.

Drop this thing of amassing knowledge.

You're only building a wall around yourself,

Means you're only becoming egoistic.

I know 10 scriptures.

I have gone to this guru.

I know this guru personally.

Oh,

This swami.

I invited him for lunch to my house.

So,

You have built walls around yourself.

Wake up.

Wake up.

You have built walls around yourself.

Break all of them.

Break them down.

They only build the ego.

Yeah.

Means building the ego means more and more conditioning has been developed.

Conditioning is the one that veils the eyes of wisdom from seeing the supreme truth.

So,

Maharaj says to go beyond the mind,

A well-furnished mind is not needed.

So,

Questioner says,

Then what is needed?

Maharaj says,

Distrust your mind and go beyond.

Please highlight.

This is very important.

No teacher,

No guru,

No scripture gives such direct instructions.

We are very lucky that we are getting these direct instructions from Maharaj.

Distrust the mind because the mind is always holding on to the stories of this waking world.

Look at your diagram again.

All your thoughts are of this waking world.

Are you getting it?

Yes.

Either of that body mind or of those related to the body mind or of anything else,

But in this waking world.

Yes.

So,

It is limited here.

Limitations always bind me.

I have to recognize this truth that the more I hold on to these limitations,

The more I build my conditioning and conditioning acts like a dam.

You know,

The dam does not allow the water to flow.

A dam restricts the flow of water.

Yes.

So,

Conditioning acts like a dam and this dam's doors become absolutely jammed.

They are not openable at all.

Yes.

This conditioning becomes stronger and stronger.

So,

It blocks me from having any deeper experiences.

Therefore,

I must distrust the mind.

Means,

Ignore thoughts he's telling you.

Reject thoughts.

Don't jump in and hold on to thoughts because you're jumping in and holding on to thoughts is equal to desire.

He's saying do the opposite.

Yeah.

You drew an arrow,

Remember,

On your diagram where the eye jumps in and draw an opposite arrow and say Maharaj is saying focus on the eye instead.

You move out outward.

Yeah.

Distrust your mind and go beyond.

That is the meaning of that arrow going in the opposite direction.

From the thought,

Drop the arrow in the opposite direction towards the eye.

So,

Distrust this thought and go beyond.

So,

Questioner asks,

What shall I find beyond the mind?

Maharaj says,

The direct experience of being,

And loving.

Sat,

Chit,

Anand.

Being,

Knowing,

And loving.

Direct experience.

Look at Maharaj's words.

Direct experience.

Not an intellectual idea.

Not a concept.

But you will get the direct experience of sat,

Chit,

Anand.

So,

Questioner gets inspired.

He says,

How does one go beyond the mind?

Maharaj says,

There are many starting points.

They all lead to the same goal.

You may begin with selfless work,

Abandoning the fruits of action.

You may then give up thinking and end in giving up all desires.

Here,

Giving up or tyaga is the operational factor.

Or you may not bother about anything you want or think or do and just stay put in the thought and feeling I am.

Focusing I am firmly in your mind.

All kinds of experience may come to you.

Remain unmoved in the knowledge that all perceivable is transient and only the I am endures.

So,

Maharaj now gave us another three steps to do in this paragraph.

He said,

There are many starting points.

They all lead to the same goal.

You begin with selfless work,

Abandoning the fruits of action.

That's number one.

At what level does action happen?

Action happens at this body level.

So,

He's saying,

You abandon the fruit of action.

So,

He's saying,

You abandon the fruit of this action is first.

Means what?

Let the action happen at the body,

Mind level.

Whatever action has come its way,

Because something has come its way as a demand,

The body is supplying.

Not because of desiring.

Yeah,

Be very clear about your actions.

The relative of this body,

Maybe the son,

The daughter,

The parent,

The spouse,

Whoever of this body demands something,

An action,

You have to get up and complete that action.

Let the body-mind do that action selflessly.

So,

When your focus is continuously on the I,

You will notice this action dissolve into the nothingness.

That is the meaning of selfless work.

Focusing on the sense of I am,

The I automatically dissolves into the nothingness.

It sucks in even the action and lets it dissolve into the nothingness.

Be selfless in your action.

That is the meaning of the word,

Tyaga.

Tyaga,

Literally translated sacrifice.

What am I sacrificing?

I am sacrificing the desire of a thank you for this action.

I am sacrificing the desire for some fruit in return of this action.

Moment to moment,

See that this should not happen.

The I usually jumps into the action and says,

Aha,

I want the fruit of this action.

This is called desire.

This should not happen.

This is desire.

The opposite should happen.

The opposite is you move in this direction.

Sense of I is where my focus is.

I stay focused there.

My focus light always at the periphery,

At the I.

That is called Tyaga.

Very clear?

Then you will notice that the action will automatically dissolve.

There is no other option for this action but to completely dissolve into nothingness.

So number one,

I'll read that again.

You may begin with selfless work,

Abandoning the fruits of action.

You may then give up thinking.

Number two is thought.

Thought.

We finished action.

Second is thought.

Give up thinking.

Means what?

Do not attach to a thought that is passing by.

I do not go and attach another conversation with it.

I do not indulge in the thought.

The moment I indulge in the thought,

It becomes a desire.

The I jumps in and holds on to the thought.

That is a desire.

He's saying this should not happen.

Yeah,

You do Tyaga.

Instead,

You let the thought dissolve into nothingness.

When the thought dissolves,

You will see it just vanishes.

Give up thinking.

This is the meaning of giving up thinking.

You cannot say,

Oh,

Thought should not arise only.

That's not possible because thoughts are not yours.

What do you really have to give up?

You have to give up falsely owning the thoughts and saying owning the thoughts and saying these are mine.

This is the meaning of give up thinking.

I'll repeat that.

You have to stop jumping in and falsely owning the thought and saying this is mine.

When it is not mine,

There is no need for me to interact with it.

When there is a crazy man passing from the street,

Do I stand in the window and start interacting with the crazy man?

Do I start shouting at him just because he's shouting at the air?

No,

He's a crazy man.

He's walking past.

Not personal.

Even if he's hauling insults into the air,

It's not personal,

Right?

Like that.

Treating thoughts like a crazy man passing by.

It's a crazy thought.

Not mine.

It's not personal.

Do not jump in.

When you jump in,

It becomes a desire.

You see this?

He says,

Do not jump in.

It becomes a desire when you jump in.

Instead,

You focus on the sense of I.

That is called tyaga.

Tyaga means giving up,

Sacrificing.

Giving up what?

Giving up the ownership of thought.

So,

I did for action.

I did for thought.

Please do it for yourself.

For a feeling also.

You give up that feeling because all that is the mind.

When there is a sensation that is related to the body,

You give up that sensation.

Do tyaga.

No ownership of sensation.

Not even a painful sensation.

Oh,

My hand is hurting.

It's paining.

I cannot lift it up.

It's not mine.

It's not personal.

It is something that is a crazy man passing by the street.

I let it pass.

I do not hold onto it.

I do tyaga.

Tyaga means renouncing ownership of that sensation.

Similarly,

Renouncing ownership of perceptions.

That is the hardest part,

No?

Perception of son,

Perception of daughter.

I have no proof this is my son or my daughter.

Perception of spouse.

I have no proof this is my spouse.

It is the spouse of this body in this waking dream.

But not mine.

I am the sense of I am,

The background.

The background does not get married,

Does not have a spouse,

Does not have kids,

Is not born,

Does not have parents,

Does not die.

It does not die.

So,

Second verse,

Give up thinking.

And the last,

In the end give up all desires.

See,

Maharaj segregates thought from desire.

This is separate.

Why?

What is desire?

Desire is simply this I jumping in and saying mine.

Yeah?

So,

It doesn't matter what the desire is about.

He's saying no desire.

Give them up completely.

So,

Very clear?

Actions,

I have to do.

Tyaga,

I have to renounce actions,

Number one.

Number two,

Renounce thinking or thoughts.

Basically,

Renounce the ownership of thought.

In that you can add,

Renounce the ownership of feeling,

Renounce the ownership of perception,

Renounce the ownership of sensation.

Because finally everything is thought.

Everything is thought.

Those who have not seen it yet,

Soon you will come to that understanding that perception is a thought,

Sensation is a thought,

Feeling is a thought.

That is the meaning of give up thinking.

Tyaga,

Renounce.

He's already told you the methodology for renouncing.

Focus on the sense of I am and notice all of these getting sucked into the black hole of nothingness.

Disappearing.

Just enjoying the disappearing act again and again and again.

Itself is meditation.

So,

He's very clear on these three things.

Action,

Thought and desire.

Give up all of these.

Here,

Giving up,

Tyaga is the operational factor or you may not bother about anything you want or think or do and just stay put in the thought and feeling,

I am.

Focusing,

I am.

Firmly in your mind.

All kinds of experience may come to you.

Remain unmoved in the knowledge that all perceivable is transient and only the I am endures.

And whatever experience comes up doesn't matter.

It is transient.

Transient means what?

Coming and going,

Coming and going.

Temporary,

Passing by,

Appearing and disappearing,

Appearing and disappearing.

That which is not permanent is transient.

So,

See everything is transient.

You lost money,

It's transient.

You gain money,

It's transient.

You got a little bit of praise from somebody,

It's transient.

Somebody insulted,

It's transient.

Anything that happens,

Everything is transient.

There is a pleasant moment,

There is an unpleasant moment.

Everything is transient.

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