I Am That Chapter16 Desirelessness, The Highest Bliss Part 4

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Transcript

What did Maharaj do in the first part of the chapter?

Maharaj said that I have this tendency to leave my witnessing position,

Jump in,

Grasp a thought.

That is the moment desire is born.

Desire is only I want,

I don't want.

I like,

I don't like.

Is that point very very clear?

Yes?

Are we all clear what is thought and what is desire?

And we did that with a little sketch,

A little diagram.

I consider myself to be the body.

This body is accompanied by certain thoughts.

Just because they are closer to me,

I feel they are my thoughts.

Mine means belonging to the body.

This itself is the error,

The first error.

Number one error,

I am the body.

Number two error,

These thoughts are my thoughts.

Mine means belonging to the body.

I have no proof that thoughts belong to a physical body.

Are you seeing this?

I have just assumed this.

So this is a thought.

And we discussed that Maharaj comes along and tells us,

No,

You are not this body.

You are not this mind.

You are the background behind.

First,

I never recognized this background ever.

I never recognized the sense of I am.

I attributed the sense of I am to the body.

But now I started recognizing,

Oh,

The sense of I am is like the background.

It is always there.

There is never a moment when it is missing.

Never,

Ever,

Ever.

That is who I am.

And it's not just a background.

It is all around,

Like space is all around.

Yes?

So this becomes very clear that it is all around.

So though I am drawing on a 2D,

Just length and breadth of the paper,

But actually my experience is a 3D experience of the background.

Very clear?

So I am this sense of I am,

This background.

Now it is infinite,

But I draw it finitely on this paper just for the sake of understanding.

But the truth is,

It is an infinite sense of I am.

This infinite sense of I am is looking at this waking world through the waking character's body-mind.

This is the waking character's body-mind.

This waking character's body-mind has been given the label Ekta.

Similarly,

That waking character is Satyen.

That waking character is Pamir.

That waking character is Shailaja.

Labels have been given to the binoculars through which this sense of I am peaks into the waking world.

The same sense of I am peaks into the dream world through the dream character's body-mind.

Yes?

So recognize this thing,

Because the binoculars are so close,

You always see yourself self-headless,

Whether it is the waking state or it is the dream state.

You always see that body-mind headless and that's why you assume this is who I am.

But Maharaj says,

No,

This is not who I am.

Behind,

Behind,

Look behind,

Beyond.

Aha!

That sense of I am is who I am.

Not the binoculars through which the I am is experiencing the waking world.

So far is clear?

Yes?

These binoculars are not just a physical body,

But also the thoughts which are hovering around are considered as the part of the binoculars.

So very early in the journey,

Maharaj told you,

No,

These thoughts are not yours.

Yeah?

They are not personal.

You are the one who jumps in and says,

These are my thoughts.

Yeah?

So this circle which I am drawing,

There is no real circle there.

It is just for the purposes of conveying this point through a drawing.

Yes?

This is who I actually am.

This is the witness consciousness.

It's just depicted like this as a three-dimensional circle for the purposes of explaining the point.

Maharaj says,

Stay here at the periphery.

Yes?

All the time recognize this is who I am,

Not this particular body-mind.

Not this particular thought which is going here,

Which seems to be related to this body-mind.

I hold on to it and I say,

This is my thought,

My personal thought.

No,

It is not yours.

Maharaj says,

You stay at a distance.

You stay at the periphery all the time and recognizing this is who I am.

Very clear?

I stays at this periphery here.

This is the sense of I am.

It is also called the witness consciousness.

You can write those words down there.

You can also call it sense of I am.

Yes.

So,

This is who I am.

Now,

He gave you one technique last week.

What was the technique?

He said,

You focus on the sense of I am.

Focus.

Laksh in Marathi.

And in English,

The translation was attention.

Focus was the word that Ekta used last week.

So,

Focus,

Attention or the Marathi word Laksh.

That was the methodology that Maharaj gave.

And he said,

If you focus on the I am,

You stay at the periphery,

You will start noticing the thoughts dissolve.

Perceptions dissolve.

Feelings dissolve.

Sensations dissolve.

What do they dissolve into?

Into this background.

Into the sense of I am.

Into the witness consciousness.

That is clear?

Yes.

So,

Let's take one example only for our diagram.

This is a thought which has arisen.

And this thought,

If you keep watching it,

Focusing on the sense of I am at the periphery,

Not focusing on the thought.

What will happen?

It will disappear here.

It will be gone.

Yeah.

So,

What made this disappear?

Laksh,

Which is the Marathi word for attention.

Laksh plus Prem,

Which is love.

What Prem?

The nothingness that lies beyond the I,

That sucks in all the thoughts,

Like a black hole sucks in everything into itself.

Yeah.

So,

This nothingness,

Which lies beyond the sense of I am,

This is what has love for everything.

It embraces everything.

So,

Here in this diagram,

To keep it clutter free,

I have just made one single arrow for thoughts.

You can make four arrows.

One for thoughts,

One for feelings,

One for sensations,

One for perceptions.

Every thought,

Every feeling,

Every sensation,

Every perception dissolves into the nothingness.

By what technique?

Technique of Laksh plus Prem.

Focus and love.

Focus and oneness or attention and affection,

Whichever words you like.

Focus works better because of that example of the focus lights.

Some of you have focus lights at home.

So,

You know how the focus lights,

They focus on one particular thing,

In one particular area.

If I am outward turned,

My focus is outwards.

You turn in,

Then you understand,

Ah,

Focus is inwards.

That's why I use the word focus.

Instead of focusing on the external perception that is bothering me,

Instead of focusing on the thought that is jumping up and down and bothering me,

Instead of focusing on that feeling that is churning inside me,

I focus on the background on which all this is dancing.

That's why I use the word focus.

Yeah,

But if you prefer the word Laksh and Marathi,

Use Laksh.

If you prefer the word used in the translation attention,

Use the word attention.

Very clear?

Once you focus in the correct direction,

Not focusing on the thought that is bothering,

Not focusing on the feeling that is bothering,

Not focusing on the perception that is bothering,

All this is external.

You focus on the sense of I am.

You focus inwards and then recognize I am all over,

I am at the periphery.

Are you seeing how this process is going?

Though I am saying external is here and this is internal,

In the diagram it's opposite.

Inside the circle is external and going towards the periphery of the circle is internal.

Are you seeing this?

Yeah.

Let everything get sucked in.

You will notice everything disappears.

Everything is how much ever I say,

No,

I am always upset.

I am always angry.

There is no always angry.

Not possible only.

You would have not survived.

This is just a label you have put on yourself.

Oh,

I am an always fearful person.

There is nothing like always fearful.

Doesn't exist.

Another label you have put on yourself.

Yeah,

Like that only.

See,

You have eternalized certain things and you've put those labels on yourself.

Oh,

I am always low confidence.

I am always poor.

I'm always unhappy.

Whatever always,

Always you say,

No,

There is no always.

Big lie,

Fraud,

Self fraud.

It's not about the world.

I am doing the fraud with myself.

Yeah.

Why?

Because everything when I focus in words,

It disappears.

It disappears.

This is very clear.

What we did last week is very clear.

Yeah.

One more point here.

You can remember to you can draw it when the I jumps in and claims something that is desire.

This is what we did last week.

Yes.

So you have a label of desire.

You have a label of thought.

You can have the label of body.

I think this is all we covered last week.

All good.

So we'll set this aside and we'll continue now.

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