Let's do a self-exploration meditation on Atma Darshan,
Chapter 4,
Different Stages of Illumination.
For this self-exploration,
You will need to bring the photograph of a beloved as well as the photograph of an enemy.
Let's address the enemy as the unbeloved.
So,
You can get the photograph of a beloved and an unbeloved.
You can also use a beloved object and a hated object.
If you have the photograph in front of you,
Let's begin this self-exploration.
Look at the photograph of the beloved.
Observe the feelings and the thoughts.
Take your focus to the feelings and the thoughts and then take back the focus towards the photograph.
Toggle between the two.
Notice the captivation of the mind with the beloved's name and form.
Now,
Take the photograph of the unbeloved and keep it right by the side of the beloved.
Take your attention to the feelings and thoughts that are arising in the mind on account of the sight of the unbeloved.
Do you notice the same captivation with the unbeloved's name and form that is there with the beloved's name and form?
Do you recognize the common pattern of the mind's captivation?
The mind is equally captivated by the pleasant feelings towards the beloved and the unpleasant feelings towards the unbeloved.
The captivation is equal.
Notice that the captivation is because of the name and form.
Notice that the captivation is because of the outer design rather than the inner material cause.
Notice that the outer is only name and form.
Attempt to look beyond the limited and finite form.
If you manage to step beyond the finite form,
You will notice the finiteness of the captivation too.
The captivation is limited.
It has a border.
It ends.
You have the ability to step outside the border of captivation.
Attempt to go beyond.
If you successfully step beyond the border of captivation,
You will find a hidden part of yourself that is not captivated by the name and form.
You will find yourself as the material cause of the captivation itself.
You will find yourself as the field of awareness in which the captivation is like a tiny dot.
That tiny dot is also made of yourself.
Awareness.
Consciousness.
Nothingness.
Ask yourself the following questions.
Isn't the mind's captivation in the field of awareness itself?
If it is in the field of awareness,
Isn't it made up of awareness itself?
Do I have any proof of it existing independent of me?
Do I have any proof of it existing independent of the waking state?
If the mind's captivation is limited to the waking state,
The beloved object or the unbeloved object is also limited to the waking state.
In other words,
The beloved and the unbeloved are limited to the field of awareness.
They are not independent of me,
The awareness.
They are not made of an independently existing matter apart from me,
The awareness.
This means that unbeloved or the beloved do not really exist out there.
They are simply projections of awareness in the form of subtle thoughts and subtle thoughts are finally grossified as gross thoughts.
In a moment of truth,
I see this clearly that whatever is being projected before me has been known and unknown is never projected.
But then this truth gets dimmed chiefly on account of my captivation with the beloved or the unbeloved.
This truth gets dimmed chiefly because of my abiding interest in the name and form of the beloved or the unbeloved.
Ask yourself this question.
Do you notice these truths and do you notice the dimming of the truth on account of captivation?
Do you recognize the overwhelming captivation and interest in the name and form?
Do you recognize the disinterest in the material cause of the beloved and the unbeloved?
Do you recognize the entanglement with the outer masking the truth of the inner?
Look at the beloved's name and form again and bring up the memory of the touch of the beloved.
Now look at the unbeloved's name and form and bring up the memory of the unbeloved's touch.
Instead of focusing on the pleasantness or unpleasantness,
Focus on the intensity of the mind's captivation.
You will notice that both the pleasant captivation and the unpleasant captivation are equal in strength.
Both are finite,
Limited.
You have the ability to step beyond the finiteness of the captivation.
You have the ability to find yourself the awareness that is that infinite field in which that tiny dot of captivation appears and disappears.
From the vantage point of this infinite field of awareness,
The tiny dot of sense of touch is seen clearly as made up of awareness itself.
There is no demarcating line between the toucher,
The sense of touching or the touched object.
The beloved and the unbeloved are one.
Look at the photograph of the beloved and bring up the memory of the pleasant sound of the beloved's words.
Now look at the unbeloved's picture and bring up the unpleasant sound of the unbeloved's words.
Notice the captivation of the mind with the pleasant sound and the unpleasant sound.
The captivation is of equal intensity.
The captivation is limited,
Finite.
Step beyond the captivation.
When you step beyond the captivation,
You will find yourself as the field of awareness itself in which the thought of captivation arises and dissolves.
If you successfully step beyond,
You will recognize that the captivation with the sound is such a tiny,
Inconspicuous little dot in that infiniteness of awareness.
From the vantage point of that infiniteness,
The sense of hearing is seen clearly as made up of awareness itself.
There is no demarcating line between the hearer,
The sense of hearing and the sound object.
Now bring up a memory of the beloved's sight and compare it to the memory of the unbeloved's sight.
Do you notice the captivation by the name and form of the beloved and unbeloved being of an equal intensity?
Are you able to maintain your stand beyond the tiny dot of captivation by the sight of the name and form?
Are you able to see that sight is made up of awareness?
If sight is made up of awareness,
What is your beloved made up of?
What is your unbeloved made up of?
Isn't it simply your own projected,
Grossified thought that has been labeled as the beloved and the unbeloved?
Can you find a demarcating line between the seer,
The sense of seeing and the seen?
Bring up the memory of the odor of the beloved.
Maybe his or her sweat smell.
Bring up the memory of the odor of the unbeloved as well.
Instead of focusing on the pleasantness or unpleasantness of thought and feeling,
Focus on the intensity of the mind's captivation by the odor.
Step beyond the tiny dot of captivation into the infinite field of awareness and maintain your vantage point.
Recognize that there is no demarcating line between the smeller,
The sense of smell and the odor object.
Similarly,
Experiment with the memory of taste if applicable to the beloved or the unbeloved.
Notice the intensity of captivation by taste.
Recognize that you have the ability to step beyond the tiny,
Finite,
Limitedness of the captivation.
Recognize that the captivation is made of that which lies beyond.
That infinite field of awareness bears the thought of captivation.
The thought is limited.
The limited thought is made up of awareness,
Arises in awareness and dissolves back into awareness.
You,
The field of awareness,
Remain untouched by the so-called beloved or unbeloved object.
Recognize that from the vantage point of the infinite field of awareness,
There is no demarcating line between the taster,
The sense of tasting and the odor object.
When it becomes clear that there is no demarcating line between so-called matter and consciousness,
It also becomes clear that the pleasant beloved and the unpleasant unbeloved.
Do not exist.
They do not exist independently of consciousness,
Of awareness.
They are simply thought projections.
The entire waking state is simply a grossified thought.
There is nothing out there that is made of so-called matter.
Or in other words,
All matter is simply another name and form of consciousness.
Ask yourself this question.
Has the beloved transformed into consciousness yet?
Has the unbeloved transformed into consciousness yet?
If not,
Some work is still remaining to recognize that the beloved does not exist.
The unbeloved does not exist.
The self-inquiry does not end here.
It begins from here.
Now,
We will slowly get up,
Leave this room and go face the beloved or the unbeloved and attempt to see the truth.
The beloved does not exist.
The unbeloved does not exist.
Go on.
Start your actual self-exploration now.
And does not end until you recognize that the captivation is not real.
The captivation is an illusion.
The captivation is not real.
The captivation is an illusion.
