Reclaiming Your Center

Our lives are influenced and guided by our sense of “self.” When we refer to our self – I believe, I think, I feel – it is important to ask what self, what “I,” we are referring to. Is it our customary, personal day-to-day self, or our natural, inner self? Which “self” have we placed at the center of our life and what has been the consequence. Explore with me in discussion and practice how we reclaim the essential center of our true self.

Transcript

I am Elliot Dasher,

Welcoming you to this episode of Meditation and Beyond.

Our topic today is Reclaiming Your Ascenta,

Small Self to True Self.

Our lives are influenced and guided by our sense of self,

And when we refer to our self,

I believe,

I think,

I feel,

It is important to ask what self,

What I we are referring to.

Is it our customary,

Personal,

Day-to-day self,

Or our natural inner self?

Which self are we placed at the center of our life?

We can imagine our life as a mandala with a central hub and spokes raiding out to the periphery.

Our sense of self is located at the central hub.

It is our operating system.

The character of our life is sourced and determined from the center.

When we awaken to the possibility that we can redesign our life,

We get to choose which self we place at the center of our life.

It can be our quiet,

Personal self,

Or our natural,

True self.

And that choice makes all the difference.

What we place at the center of our life will define how we experience the world.

When our small,

Personal self is at the center,

Past history,

Ideas,

Learned perceptual patterns,

Learned identities will determine the character of our relationship,

Reactions,

And life.

For most of us,

That's our default,

Perhaps even for a lifetime.

We are defined and guided by the automaticity and acquired traits of our personal identity that we have placed at the center of our existence.

Yet that's not how we started life.

We were born into a simple awareness,

No past history,

No fixed perceptions or identities.

We were just present,

Open,

Unconditioned,

And fully aware.

Now,

I don't want to glamorize this youthful and innocent presence in as individuation must occur for us to live a full human life.

However,

As a result of individuation,

We spend our adult years functioning under the influence of our personal self.

It is the default center of our being.

Life has its achievements and delights,

As well as difficult challenges.

But the self-centered,

Protective,

Defensive,

And self-righteous character of the personal self permeates our day-to-day experience.

It cannot be otherwise.

It is the source of subtle and gross distress,

Anxiety,

And suffering that we falsely consider an unavoidable part of human life.

Too often we follow the faulty operating system of this small self.

That's how we are programmed.

That's how we are trained.

We place the wrong self at the center of our life.

We live with small self-leadership rather than large self-leadership.

And that is the realization we must arrive at if we are to transform our life,

If we are the shift from person to presence.

We may check on this moment to moment by simply asking,

Who is in charge right now?

Is my small self or my larger self?

We know the feeling of tenseness and contraction of body,

Mind,

And spirit when the small self is in charge.

We also know the feeling of openness,

Heart,

Expansiveness,

And ease when the larger self is the center of our being.

Which self is leading us right now?

How easily can we switch from the small self to the larger self?

We may ask,

What is it like to live under the guidance and leadership of our larger self?

Can you remember an experience of openness and flow?

Do you remember the wonderment,

Awe,

And curiosity of a child?

Can you recall as an adult a moment of flow in nature,

Intimacy,

Music,

Art,

Dance,

Or other such moments?

All of a sudden,

Likely unknown to you,

In that moment,

Your personal self dropped away,

Revealing your natural self,

Your simple moment to moment awareness that temporarily becomes the center of your life.

We have learned to falsely trust our small self with its limits and protections.

We are accustomed to it driving our life,

Avoiding dangers,

And gathering pleasures.

But there will be a time when we recognize that our limited self can never offer us a stable,

Serene,

Wise,

And fulfilled life.

That is when we can correctly identify the problem and apply the appropriate remedy,

Reinstalling our true self,

Our true operating system,

At the center of our being.

That leads us to meditation,

To contemplative life,

And a large self-leadership.

What unfolds from that center will be authentic and clear,

Easeful and peaceful,

Content and creative,

Wise and loving.

At any moment in life,

A choice and shift are possible.

We transform our life by choosing the central core of our being,

Shifting from the limited personal self to an expansive and natural presence.

Let's together navigate that shift from a small self at the center of our being to a larger self.

Close your eyes please,

And let's begin with some breaths.

We do this because it's a natural way to first clear the loudest noises of the mind.

Because we're taking a deep breath in,

Blowing it out,

Imagining blowing out the content of the mind,

And then doing a natural breath hold.

During the breath hold,

What happens is we deactivate the neural default centers of the brain,

Which create restless activity.

And so effortlessly,

Just by doing this technique,

We can experience the stillness and awareness during the breath hold.

So it goes like this.

Deep breath in,

Out.

I'll do it one more time.

During the hold,

We just rest and experience the stillness,

Awareness,

And non-cognitive mind.

Deep breath in,

Blowing out the content of the mind,

Comfortable breath hold.

Let's do this for a few moments.

You do it at your pace,

Which will be different than mine,

But I'll be doing it at the same time.

Extend the breath hold as comfortably and as long as you can.

That'll give you more time just to rest in the experience of stillness,

Awareness,

And presence.

This should be effortless.

All we do is the technique as I've demonstrated it.

And during the hold,

There'll be a natural stillness.

You may have to make no attempt to create it.

It's already there with the breath hold.

You can do this as preliminary in the beginning of the meditation as we're doing it now.

If your mind gets active during the meditation,

You can take a break and do a series of cycles of this breathing.

You could even do a journey day with your eyes closed,

Maybe not accentuated so much.

And then when you drop in,

After a few cycles,

Just open up your eyes or if they're open,

Keep them open and see how you feel in the circumstance that you're in.

So let's do a few more of these.

Now you can do this as long as you wish to quiet down the coarse noise of the mind.

We're going to move into the main body of the meditation so you'll know what that's like also and how we make that shift.

The first thing we do is we simply bring our breath to a normal breath,

Easeful,

Relaxed,

Peaceful,

Sort of low,

Harmonious.

Let the air breathe for us rather than us doing all the effort.

So simple,

Effortless breath.

And then we bring ourself,

Our attention into the present moment,

To the here and now.

Just being aware and present.

And we also make a shift in how we relate to the appearances in the mind.

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Images,

Sensations.

When they arise from memory,

Which they will,

Something the mind naturally does,

We just notice them.

There's a thought or a feeling or an image.

How nice.

We let it go.

Mental appearances have a lifespan of about 200 milliseconds,

Which is quite rapid.

They come,

They arise,

They disappear.

If we leave them alone,

Our learning is to gravitate towards the object of experience.

A thought,

Feeling,

An image,

And then getting tangled with it.

So there's nobody aware anymore.

We're going to stay in the awareness and just watch whatever happens.

Let it go.

Have no interest.

It's not about you.

It's something old.

So that's how we relate in this shift towards the center of our being,

Of a large self,

To those things that arise and fall in the mind.

And if stillness is there,

We just become aware of stillness.

Observe it.

Let it go.

So let's practice this awareness,

This presence,

This new relationship to the appearances of the mind.

If you get entangled in a thought,

Feeling,

Or image,

Just become aware of it and notice it.

Observe it.

As you observe it,

That entanglement will dissolve.

Relax the muscles as well.

That also deactivates the neural default mode and the restless centers of the brain.

Mind relaxed.

Breath relaxed.

Body relaxed.

Awareness open.

Expansive.

Spacious.

Anything could arise in it.

Just let it be.

Observe it and let it go.

This is called meditation without support.

We don't use a focal point,

As we often do.

Mantra meditation,

Mindfulness meditation,

Guided imagery,

Which is called meditation with support because the focal point is support.

Here we're opening up awareness to everything,

To a wholeness,

To a connection to everything.

We're just being present.

We're doing nothing whatsoever except just being present and disregarding all the activity that arises in the mind and letting it come and go.

So just continue like this for a few moments.

Just quietly letting everything come and go.

And you remain as simple,

Quiet,

Effortless,

Awareness and presence.

Now you might notice that there is timelessness in this spacious center.

It is the absence of the sense of a personal eye,

That which is aware,

And the operating system is awareness and presence,

Not the personal ego eye.

Just notice how more connected this larger self is.

When the larger self is placed at the center of our being,

Notice how peaceful and serene it is.

When the larger self is placed at the center of our being,

Notice it's not possible for stress,

Distress,

Or suffering to emanate out of the center.

Those experiences are in the domain of the personal self only,

Not in the deeper self.

So when our inner self,

Our true self,

Our natural self to the center of our being is a pervasive sense of well-being,

Experience that clarity,

Creativity,

And inner wisdom,

Freedom from the known,

Happiness without a reason.

All these qualities that emanate like a perfume from the inner self,

The larger self,

When placed at the center of our being.

Now you will notice that there are times in which it will be pulled into the ordinary mind again,

Entangled with those feelings or images,

Because we're used to putting the personal self at the center of our being.

So that ego,

Personal self,

Will try to push its way in and push out a larger self.

When you notice that,

You just watch it.

Watch it and let it go.

I've given you the basic instructions how to make that shift,

And the more we practice it,

The more we drop in during the day,

The more it will become the foundation of our life.

Difficult challenges we may face in ordinary life,

Difficult people,

These will occur on a foundation not of protectiveness and defensiveness and reactivity of our personal self,

But of the serenity,

The delight,

The ease,

The peace.

So we'll experience all emotions,

All feelings,

But they will rest on a much deeper anchor of goodness and truth and beingness.

And that is the nature of your being,

That is your home,

That is who you are,

That is already and always there.

We just need to learn to reveal it more and more.

In time,

Let it be the basis and foundation of our life.

I'm going to leave you now,

But you can continue to do this meditation as long as you would like,

And practice it over and over and over.

Remember to ask the question,

Right now,

Who is at the center of being?

Who is at my center?

Thank you and it's a delight meditating with you.

Reviews

Love it - a practical guide to happiness without a reason!!

Simple practical effective technique. Thank you 🙏🏼.