Maybe a big yod is a good place to start.
Exhaling with the breath,
Sela.
From the biblical word for breathing,
Breath sound.
Maybe you're stretching,
Maybe you're fidgeting,
Scratching.
Weary or wide awake?
It's okay.
We're just going to use this time to remove some obstacles between you and a good rest.
Can't make you fall asleep.
Can't force it.
Can't wish it.
And just get out of the way of the dream train.
To reference a children's book,
Steam train,
Dream train.
Just get out of the way of the train.
And let the dreams take over eventually.
So you don't have anything to do.
You are relieved of all your duties of the day.
When you're ready,
Just close your eyes and settle in.
Feel your bed or your couch or your chair,
Wherever you are.
Just relaxing,
Getting ready,
Maybe to sleep,
Maybe just settle in.
Taking care of any last issues such that you don't have to worry about.
If you fall asleep while meditating,
You don't need to move anything.
You don't need to get anything out of the way.
Beds are settled.
You've got water,
Whatever you need for sleep.
Your pajamas or bed clothes are comfortable.
Temperature's just right.
And you're going to fall in,
Get heavy.
Let the bed and the earth and gravity take over.
And stop resisting.
You don't need to exercise.
You don't need to use your muscles.
You don't need to lift up your brain.
Letting it all turn down.
You won't stop thinking.
That's just neurons firing,
But you can,
If not,
Ignore the thoughts,
At least let them go.
They don't have to linger.
Drifting across like images on a screen,
Like clouds across the sky.
You are the sky.
Everything else is just weather.
Let yourself unspool and unravel.
Falling in.
Yawning again.
Inhaling deeply.
Exhaling with the word Salah.
Drawing into a deeper stillness.
More robust,
Quiet.
An ease of being kind with yourself.
Maybe take a moment to congratulate yourself on something today.
Something you worked hard at.
Something that went just right.
A little act of beauty in the face of a chaotic or nebulous world.
Continuing to breathe.
You're going to get distracted.
You're going to come back to breathing.
You can use my voice to lure you back to presence in your resting place.
You can get lost in fantasies if you want to.
I don't know if that'll help you sleep,
But it may be amusing.
How much is a fantasy really different than a dream anyway?
Kind of unreality.
Let the unreality seep in.
Getting heavy.
Slowing down.
Getting more still and quieter.
Just listening.
Not truly silent,
Just quiet.
Not brainless,
Just still.
Maybe you start by forgiving.
Maybe you don't want to hold on to any grudges when you sleep.
You could even put them aside and pick them back up when you wake up.
If they're important to you.
Or you could forget about them completely.
Or just try again tomorrow.
But letting go.
Forgiving and not holding on.
Breathing it out,
Letting it out.
Letting it go.
And since you can forgive,
You know also that there are things you've done that need forgiveness.
Maybe you could forgive yourself.
Maybe eventually you will ask another person or the Almighty for forgiveness.
However you understand that.
Maybe you're not ready to say you're sorry.
Who am I to judge?
Just do what's right for you at this moment that will help you to rest.
So you could tentatively forgive and tentatively apologize.
Do it like a pilot effort just to sleep.
Pick up the anger and the resentment again tomorrow.
But you don't need it right now.
Letting go.
It be acceptable.
Your eyes get heavy.
Start to feel grit.
If there were sand in your eyes and then little bits of dream wander in.
Strange ideas confuse you.
Maybe images come up that aren't part of the working and waking day.
You're safe.
Surrounded by goodness.
And your own goodness.
Your eyes get small and heavy.
The light starts to dim.
Oh,
You can feel it coming.
Sleep and rest and dreams.
And you start to notice how tired you were all along.
And take a moment just to acknowledge how special,
Unique,
And unified the world is.
That all these things we think of as dualisms are all part of one universe.
No good and bad.
No me and you.
No soul and body.
Just one universe.
All together.
Maybe when you ponder or acknowledge that oneness,
You start to feel little sparks of love going through your day.
A sense that everything is OK.
Every moment of the day is something to be grateful for.
Something that you can appreciate.
You're protected.
You have a refuge and a stronghold.
Covered by wings and a shield.
You have what you need.
Love and compassion.
Health and strength.
Pretty cool.
And you're lifted up by great and good forces.
You're protected.
Your feet won't stumble.
You have strength and longevity.
And protection in distress.
You are accompanied by a loving universe.
Oh,
Just using that ancient breath word,
Mysterious and unknown.
Like a mantra.
You can lie down peacefully,
Knowing that you will wake up peacefully.
Sheltered in peace.
Shielded,
Protected.
Path cleared away for you to rest.
You can go in and out of consciousness.
Leaving the conscious world when you're ready,
In peace.
So that you can return healthy and strong and in peace when the time comes.
In and out of consciousness.
Swimming through the days.
Through the night and its dreams.
Its blessed rest.
And great and good forces support you.
These great and good forces that watched over those before us.
And great and good forces that support you as you rest or sleep.
And will join together with your descendants.
Looking over us all.
The universe that is concerned about you.
And cares for you.
Demands your welfare.
And the universe blesses you and guards you.
Breathing in deeply,
Taking that in.
Exhaling slowly.
The universe lights you up with grace.
Taking that grace in.
Taking that light shining down.
All over you as you prepare to sleep.
Breathing in deeply.
Exhaling slowly.
And the universe looks towards you to give you a measure of wholeness and peace.
Take it in.
Breathe it in deeply.
Exhaling slowly.
Feeling the sensation of great and good forces at every side.
All day you have questions and wonder,
Doubt.
And you can just deposit all that confusion to your right side.
With the great and good force responsible for all those questions.
During the day you lift and lug and struggle and force.
And you can let go all that muscle energy literally and figuratively just relaxing.
Putting all your strength down to your left side with a great and good force who will hold it for you.
All of your vigor.
And a great and good force holds a light ahead of you.
And behind you,
A force of healing.
Massaging healing through sleep into you.
And all around you,
Presence,
Care,
And meaning,
And peace.
Take a moment to stretch and fidget.
Any last actions.
Breathing in deeply and exhaling quietly with SELA.
And the universe continues and shines and drift and holds you.
Always and forever.
It was,
It is,
It will be.
No beginning,
No end.
And you have what you need.
And you can entrust your body and spirit into the hand of a loving universe.
Letting yourself sleep.
Nothing to fear.
