So recently,
As I've gone deeper with some of my spiritual practices,
I've been called into the vibration of being modest and unassuming,
Which is why I wanted to come on here and give a brief little message about modesty.
And actually,
If you look up the word modesty on Google,
Over time the usage of this word has just straight up decreased over the centuries.
1800s very much in use,
1850 going down,
1900 going down,
1950 even lower until today.
And you can look this up.
It's defined as lack of pretension,
Lack of vanity,
Humility,
A state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities.
Actually,
I think there's so much to be said about being modest.
And I don't know,
At least not in my circles,
In my field,
Not seeing a lot of discussion around modesty.
Could be wrong.
It could be just a cognitive bias of some sort.
However,
There is something about it.
And I really wanted to focus in on relationships in this talk.
And so what I mean by that is this thing that we tend to do as humans,
Right?
What we will do is that we will be in relationship to someone or something.
And we will make an assumption about the nature of that person,
Or the nature of the situation that's at play,
That the items that are at stake,
The data points that we are considering,
We will put them together,
Make an interpretation,
Some kind of assumption.
And then here's the fascinating part.
We will actually sometimes,
But not always,
We will sometimes go about the business of straight up modifying our behavior in accordance with the reality we think is true based on our assumption,
Which is not necessarily grounded in concrete biographical factual reality,
Right?
So let me break this down just one more layer or one more level here.
So within assumptions,
We can sometimes jump to conclusions,
Right?
We can say,
Oh,
I know this is how things are going to turn out.
I know this is the nature of this topic,
Or this theme,
Or this situation,
Right?
I'm convinced the airport line must be long when I go to the airport to board my flight.
So therefore,
When I arrive,
Even if it's short,
I'm still going to have the mentality,
Right,
That it's long,
Just an example.
So,
Or in a relationship dynamic,
I've already made my mind up about how this conversation will go.
I'm certain she will be jealous of my promotion,
Okay?
We lead with the assumption.
We enter into the dynamic,
Having made up our mind,
Which is not being unassuming.
It's actually the opposite.
It's being assuming.
However,
It's hard to spot,
And it can be automatic,
Can be part of a repetition.
And I'm not here to say good or bad,
Right or wrong.
It's not a judgment,
Much less of a judgment,
Much more of a neutral noticing within mindfulness,
Observation,
Awareness,
And curiosity.
So how do we actually go about the business of being unassuming?
Because why?
Because what is the payoff?
What is the value?
What is the importance of being unassuming?
Well,
For one thing,
It,
You know,
We're setting less expectations.
So we're not necessarily falling into any type of situation around expectations,
Any type of dynamic regarding here's what I thought was going to happen,
But here's what actually happens.
And so therefore,
There's some kind of let down or let up,
If you will,
Or,
You know,
Whatever it is.
It doesn't condition the encounter,
Right?
So when we are unassuming,
The encounter can be unconditioned,
Unfettered,
Not bothered by outside circumstances,
Outside thoughts,
Whether they are defeating thoughts or negative automatic cognitions,
What have you.
So in other words,
Life gets to be sort of natural.
There's an unfoldment within life and living that is maybe even mysterious,
Where we get close to the mystery.
There's a wonderful book called In Love with the Mystery by Anne Mortify,
Some beautiful photography in that work as well.
So what does it mean then to fall in love with the mystery by way of being unassuming and modest?
What could it mean to fall in love with the mystery by way of being unassuming and modest?
Well,
I think there's an element of that which ties in with sincerity,
Right?
This,
You know,
The sincere desire to be modest and unassuming,
Right?
Because how do I say that?
Like,
If we're setting out,
You know,
We're charting a course towards modesty,
It would help us to be sincere in doing so,
Right?
Because modesty is one of those energy fields,
Really,
That ties in with,
Again,
Lack of agenda,
Lack of conditions,
Lack of assumptions,
Lack of jumping to conclusions.
It's a very,
I like to think of it as sort of like an open format cultivation of indifference,
An open format non-reactivity,
Such that if it happens this way,
Okay,
Great.
If it happens that way,
Okay,
Great.
Letting the successes and the failures sort of roll off of us,
Both each of them in the same way,
Even though they have different colors to them,
Right?
So decoloring ourselves from assumptions,
Decoloring the assumptive frameworks that may or may not be at play in a given moment,
Or a given era,
A given season of our lives,
Or a time in life.
So,
Again,
The purpose of this talk is really,
And has been,
To shine a little bit of a spotlight on what it could mean to be modest and unassuming within life and living.
And I hope I've been able to communicate this,
The thrust and the momentum of the idea that when we are modest and when we are unassuming,
It may set us up for,
Who knows,
You know,
Some level of discovery or exploration,
Surprise,
Awe,
Wonder,
Right?
Things that we,
If we were sort of conditioning the encounter or assuming that we knew how it was going to be,
We'd probably still experience those things maybe,
But perhaps in a different shade.
So,
Again,
The point of it here is not to prescribe a framework to say we have to be modest and unassuming,
We have to be this,
We have to be that.
No,
Much less of a prescription,
Much more of an invitation into the energy fields of modesty and the energy fields of being unassuming.
And so,
Really,
What could that mean for you within relationships?
That would be the $6 million question from this audio message here today.
Thank you for listening.
