No Opinions (Talk + Meditation)

Do our opinions get in our way all the time? Can we hold them more loosely? "If you wish to see the truth, hold no opinions for or against anything; To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind." -Sengcan This episode references a text called Faith in Mind.

Transcript

Hello,

I'm Daniel.

I want to today ask ourselves the question,

Can we stop having opinions?

Can we stop having opinions?

That is the question to be addressed today because our opinions inform so much of who we are.

So much.

And it seems like we can't do anything about that.

We just hold these opinions and sometimes we hold them very tightly and sometimes we hold them maybe less tightly.

But we always have a lot of opinions.

We seem to have opinions about everything all the time.

And so I'm going to read to you this verse from Trust in Mind,

Also called Faith in Mind.

And the verse says,

If you wish to see the truth,

Then hold no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.

So I'll read that again.

If you wish to see the truth,

Then hold no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.

So that's pretty heavy when we say no opinions.

So if I say get a terrible illness,

I'm just going to supposed to be like,

Oh,

Well,

A thing happened.

Oh,

Well,

Right.

I have no opinion.

And that seems heavy.

That seems heavy.

Or an example I like to use is,

Am I one day I'm going to be so awakened that I'm going to stub my toe and I'm just going to be like,

Oh,

Well,

A thing happened.

I don't have an opinion about that.

I don't think so.

I don't think that's the case.

I think we have opinions and we're going to have opinions because we're human beings.

But I do think that the text is onto something here that maybe we can sort of stop placing quite so much attention and importance on our opinions.

Because we sort of put things in little categories of good or bad,

Desirable,

Undesirable,

Beautiful,

Ugly.

And we are putting those in categories,

But then pretending those categories are real.

And forgetting that we've created those labels,

We're sort of behind it all,

But we act like it's sort of universal.

And that's a very strange thing that we do.

But we sort of,

We have this sense of self and we're trying to build up that sense of self a lot of the time.

And so what is,

What is myself?

Myself is a person who likes ice cream and who does not like spaghetti.

That is myself.

I think of that as me.

And that is kind of absurd when you think about it.

Right?

I just,

I have these,

These preferences.

I have these preferences,

But they're not who I am.

They're not who I am.

They're just preferences I have,

But we hold our opinions so tightly and that's what we're talking about here.

We hold our opinions so tightly.

I can remember when I was growing up when I was a kid.

Um,

Other kids in the neighborhood,

You were either a Super Nintendo kid or a Sega Genesis kid,

Right?

You either have this system that you like or this one.

That's absurd because who cares,

Right?

They're just,

We're just playing games.

But as kids,

I and the other kids in the neighborhood freaking identified with the video games our parents bought us.

And that's,

That's an important,

Of course,

Thing to notice.

We didn't even buy,

I mean,

I guess we asked for the one we wanted,

But we didn't,

It's,

We didn't really have a choice between one or the other.

We didn't,

That is,

I didn't have both and decide which one to play all the time,

Right?

I played the one I had.

So that's,

That's sort of ridiculous to think that we thought of ourselves that way.

I'm,

I was a Nintendo kid.

I wanted Nintendo.

I thought Nintendo was better.

Why?

Because I had a Nintendo,

Right?

And we do that though.

We label ourselves based on our opinions.

So,

So we think,

You know,

I,

My hobby is this and therefore that's who I am.

So this isn't me,

But some people have the hobby of hunting and they really identify with that and they want to just collect hunting guns and do other things.

And that's part of that is they really identify with that.

What am I?

I'm a hunter.

Well,

No,

That's a thing you like to do.

That's not what you are.

That's a thing you like to do.

That's a thing you like to do.

I'm a cat person.

I have cats.

I love cats.

I'm not crazy about dogs.

Generally when I'm around dogs,

I don't really like it.

I don't really like a lot of their habits.

That's not to say I've been around well behaved dogs and those I can relate to my,

My I won't get a dog because my fear is of course I won't get a well behaved one and I don't know how to train a dog and I'll just have one of those dogs that's just always an asshole.

And if you're a cat person like me,

You know what I'm talking about.

The kind of dog that I don't want to be around.

The kind of dog that's just loud or slobbering on you or whatever.

Right.

And stuff in other people are dog people and they love dogs and that's just a preference.

It's not important.

It's not important,

But still sometimes I'll say I'm a cat person.

It's um,

I especially,

I like to actually,

I like to say that to dogs when dogs come toward me,

I say,

Hey,

I'm a cat person.

And that's very silly.

But that is,

That is what we do.

We attach so much importance to our opinions.

So one that's hot right now and probably always hot,

We might,

One might say,

I'm a Democrat or I'm a Republican and that's not true.

That's not what you are.

You have a preference and maybe you have an action and that action is voting for the party that you'd like,

But that's not who you are.

That's your preference.

And I think that at times we identify with that so thoroughly that we get in fights and we get mad at people because their preference is different than ours.

And that's not to say that we're going to save the world by sort of holding our preferences less tightly,

But it is to say that we don't need to get in arguments about it.

We just need to sort of like vote and stuff,

Vote and maybe donate and stuff.

But we do like to get in arguments about it.

It seems,

Seems like we like it because we do it so regularly these days,

Especially I think,

Um,

I feel that social media is one of the best and at the same time,

One of the worst things that I've seen arise in my life because it's a good thing because it makes communication,

Um,

Very easy.

Getting to know people very easy.

It adds a level to that.

So even people who are very nervous,

Very uncomfortable,

Awkward,

Can get to know other people and really connect and feel like they're connecting.

And maybe you can get to know someone in social media for a while and then in real life maybe you're less awkward.

And I like that aspect a lot,

But the negative aspect is I see arguments on there that are ridiculous and I see people say things that I have never seen people say in real life,

Hateful,

Vicious things or,

Or just opinions that make no sense to me and things that people I don't think say out loud in real life,

At least not in the circles I run in.

So in that sense it gives us the wrong idea at times because we see people debating,

Debating on,

On Facebook and we think that is a real debate and we think somebody is going to be convinced by that and that's absurd.

No one has ever,

No one has ever seen a comment on Facebook and thought,

Oh,

I'm going to change how I vote entirely.

I truly believe that has never happened once.

And if it has happened a few times,

Not enough to move any election ever.

Right.

But still,

We sort of get caught up in that stuff sometimes.

I've been caught up in internet arguments too much in the past and I have sworn it off and I hope I never get caught up in that again.

But I mean,

I could,

I could,

I,

Yeah,

So I'm a big supporter of unions in my day job and that has a political dimension to it.

And so I have,

I'm a labor activist and I,

I defend and help workers advocate for themselves.

And because of that,

I have some strong opinions about certain political areas around organized labor and I feel pretty strongly about those.

I'm a strong union supporter and because of that,

I have some strong opinions at times,

But it's a bad idea to argue.

It's probably a bad idea to argue in real life,

But it's even more of a bad idea to argue in social media,

On the internet because it doesn't do anything but frustrate you and waste your time.

I think in real life,

Maybe you could convince someone of something.

I don't know,

But you're not going to go into on Facebook and but we hold our opinions so tightly that when we see someone being wrong on the internet,

On Facebook or Twitter,

We feel like we have to argue with them.

When if we held our opinions more loosely,

We could just let them be wrong.

Just let them be wrong.

It doesn't,

It doesn't impact you that much if someone's wrong on the internet and they're not going to be convinced.

They're not going to be convinced.

So that's what I think about holding opinions,

Holding opinions.

That's what I think about that.

If you wish to see the truth and hold no opinions for or against anything to set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.

We spend so much time also sort of chasing the things we want,

Obsessing about the things we want and the things we want to get rid of,

Of course as well.

But a lot of the time,

Well maybe not a lot of the time,

But at times we get the thing we want and it is not making us nearly as happy as we thought it would.

And that's an important thing to keep in mind too.

When we think so hard about that,

You know,

That person we want to go on a date with or that new car we want to buy or that promotion we want.

Well,

The truth is that the reality is not going to be exactly like your expectations.

And that's why at times people are really disappointed.

And that's why sometimes,

Um,

I'm thinking of rock stars and things like that.

Like people get the height of success achieving their goals and then they're unhappy and they sometimes kill themselves or take incredible risks.

And it's because they get there and it's not what they thought.

It doesn't fill their heart with the happiness that they were expecting.

We wrestle with that as well.

That is we obsess with our likes and dislikes.

In Buddhism we say,

We call them the poison of attachment and the poison of aversion.

And that is just,

If we spend too much time focused on the things we like or too much time focused on the things we don't like,

It's going to be hard for us to be mindful.

It's going to be hard for us to be present and aware and to reach our potential.

That's what it's all about really reaching our potential.

So it's really,

I think,

Helpful to think about,

Am I clinging too tightly to my preferences,

To my likes and dislikes?

Can I hold on more loosely?

And that's part of what we're cultivating in our meditation practices,

Learning how to hold more loosely to all our cherished opinions because the truth is that we put more importance on them than there really is.

And we are obsessed with ourselves.

And part of our obsession with ourselves is our obsession with,

I like this,

I don't like that.

I'm not the kind of person that likes that.

Other people like that,

Right?

I'm not the kind of person that likes NASCAR.

I'm not that kind of person.

Those kinds of people are different from me.

What did I do just then?

Well,

I judged other people,

Right?

That's not good.

That doesn't help human relationships for me to set myself off as someone that's not like those kinds of people.

That's a very bad thing.

So we could have opinions.

My hope is we can have opinions and not define ourselves by them because defining ourselves by them doesn't serve us.

It doesn't serve us.

You are more than the things you like and don't like.

You are more than that.

You are more than that.

I've heard it said like,

There's Elvis people and Beatles people and those aren't the same people.

And I mean,

I'm a Beatles person,

But that shouldn't define me.

Like it's just music I like.

My mother was an Elvis person,

So I'm a little bit of an Elvis person too.

But I think like putting people in categories and saying you're this or that is kind of ridiculous.

It's kind of ridiculous.

So I don't like it and we do it and we can recognize when we're doing it.

That's the point.

We can recognize when we're doing it and just think,

Oh,

Am I thinking in a skillful way right now?

Is this helpful to myself and other people to be thinking I'm not like that person because I don't like what they like?

Is that helpful?

And if we can learn to have that pause and ask ourselves that,

Then we can have a more harmonious relationship with the world around us.

And that is very important.

So all of that being said,

I'm going to lead a meditation now and it's going to be the simple open awareness practice.

So what I want you to do is sit up as straight as you can and arrange your legs in a way where your feet are not going to fall asleep.

So you can try different things,

But either across your legs or firmly plant your feet on the floor.

And it's important to have a plan for what your hands are doing.

I like to recommend either what I call the bowl,

Which is one hand on top of the other thumbs gently touching.

Some people make a lot out of saying one hand should be on top of the other.

I don't think it matters.

I like to recommend either that or what I call what it is called.

I don't call it that it's called relaxation and that's just hands resting on your knees.

The point is there's a plan for what our hands are doing because if there's not,

Our hands can be a point of distraction.

And I prefer an eyes open practice.

So what I do is I fix my attention on the wall on the other side of my computer,

Which is not interesting and not going to distract me.

And if you're in a situation where there's not a wall like that,

You can also kind of fix your gaze on the floor a little bit in front of you.

That works as well.

And I'm going to ring my bell three times and then we'll begin.

Begin by taking three deep heavy breaths.

Heavy breaths.

And we're going to take just a moment to notice the breath coming into and out of our body.

Just a moment.

And then we're going to do the practice called open awareness or silent illumination.

And for this practice,

We don't have an anchor to bring our attention to.

We are simply sitting in silence and noticing the range of our experience.

And every time something happens to make you want to withdraw from the present moments,

You're just going to notice that,

Maybe label it and give it a name and then we'll come back to the present moments.

So I'm noticing the way my legs feel against this chair.

I'm noticing some sort of sound I hear,

But I'm not taking the moment to wonder what that sound is.

I'm just noticing it.

A sound.

I'm thinking about dinner.

I'm not taking the time to think about what's for dinner.

I'm just noticing I'm hungry.

And we will just sit like this in silence for a few minutes.

Fighters.

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