Eliminating Negative Self Talk & Increasing Self Kindness

This meditation aims to help you to be more friendly and kinder to yourself. By responding with self-kindness and self-compassion we can develop more opportunities for mental peace and self-growth. This meditation offers an opportunity to learn how to speak to yourself in ways that improve your ability, capacity, and willingness to change the pattern of negative thinking.

Transcript

Some mornings it is hard to feel good about ourselves or to start off the day feeling positive,

But if we give ourselves a moment to pause and breathe and reflect on opportunities for joy and gratitude,

We can shift this tide within us as the day progresses.

But a great way to start shifting this tide is to acknowledge that sometimes it's okay not to be okay,

But that we should always provide ourselves with an opportunity for self-care and self-love,

Even if it is just a few moments.

So as you're waking up or even as you are moving throughout your day,

Considering how you give yourself opportunities for growth,

How you give yourself opportunities for gratitude,

How you give yourself the chance to settle into the here and the now,

To be present,

How you can offer yourself some kindness.

So as you wake up or start to move throughout the day,

Beginning by considering how you can be your own best friend.

What kinds of things would a best friend say to you?

What kind of words would elevate you?

Those are the kind of things that we need to tell ourselves when we are feeling a bit down or a bit anxious,

And when we're not feeling sure perhaps of ourselves or what's going to come next or how we're going to deal with the situations that we encounter during the day.

So to tap into that a little bit,

I'd like us to take a few deep breaths into our bellies to really start to settle our parasympathetic nervous system and really kind of activate that rest and digest and really kind of settle into that sensation of release,

Of surrendering into a little bit more well-being.

Sometimes that's difficult when we're not feeling so great.

It kind of feels almost risky to take that pause and take that deep breath.

But let's try that now.

Maybe closing the eyes to help to shut down some of the sensory input and perhaps sitting comfortably if you are in your bed,

Kind of just sitting up comfortably or sitting on a chair.

You can even do this standing in an elevator or on your way to work or to school.

It's really just about finding these moments to allow yourself a bit of self-kindness and self-care and space to breathe.

So we'll take three deep breaths in and out.

So on your inhale,

Really filling up into your collarbones,

Into the front of your chest,

Your ribs expanding,

Your back filling with air,

Your diaphragm releasing that tension in the middle of the gut,

In the solar plexus,

The sternum area,

Into the belly,

Releasing the belly,

Not contracting the belly,

Not squeezing it,

Allowing your parasympathetic nervous system to do its job.

And breathe out slowly and gently,

Considering how the breath is something that you always have access to,

That you can always control at command,

At will.

And breathe in again,

Fully,

Deeply,

Allowing your shoulders to move away from your ears,

Allowing more space in your chest,

Allowing your ribs to expand and again,

The tightness in the diaphragm that we can often feel when we get anxious,

Allowing the inhale to massage that and allow it to release just that little bit more.

Really full and then breathing out slowly and gently,

Allowing your body to really take in that life-giving oxygen and air,

Allowing your body to really take in the practice of slowing down,

Even if it's just for two or three breaths.

Then again,

Breathing in deeper than you did the last two times,

Really slowing it down and taking that breath deep within your body,

Allowing your diaphragm to relax and allowing your stomach to expand naturally,

Not forcing it.

Really considering how your body is an entity that can continuously foster wellness and life simply through the breath.

Breathe out gently and calmly,

Really taking in and recognizing that all of that oxygen and air that you've been breathing is now moving through your bloodstream.

It's pumping through your heart.

Every deep breath you take is giving you life energy.

You're pulling source out from the air into your body and converting that into energy and sustainable force.

What a beautiful opportunity.

You can return to a natural breath in your own pace,

But just remembering to allow the diaphragm to release as you breathe and allowing the chest to expand as you take in air.

Now that we're in a more settled space and we can access our emotions a little bit more easily and perhaps with a little bit more reverence and kindness now that we have taken moments to breathe for ourselves.

Maybe considering some of the things that you say to yourself or even perhaps that you've heard from others that isn't so kind.

Maybe just pick one thought for now.

Perhaps the thought might be something like,

I'm not really productive or I'm not good at taking care of myself or I don't feel confident in my job or people don't really think well of me.

There are many things that our minds come up with that kind of bring us down sometimes.

So considering whichever thought it is that isn't so nice,

I'd like you to try responding to yourself as a friend would respond to you.

A friend who loves you unconditionally,

A friend who cares for you deeply or even a parent or even an acquaintance,

A mentor,

Someone who has your best interests in mind.

And when you think this negative thing,

How would that person respond?

So for instance,

You might think,

I'm really not a productive person.

And perhaps this kind person,

This friend,

This mentor might respond and say,

I can see you are doing your best.

I can see that you are trying your hardest.

You have so many things on your plate.

You have so many responsibilities.

You have limited resources and you are doing the absolute best you can with every opportunity you have.

Sometimes it's important to rest.

Sometimes productivity means slowing down.

I'd like you to take a moment to try this for yourself.

Being your own friend,

Internalizing messages of support,

Opportunities to uplift,

Being our own friend increases our opportunity for self love and that increases our opportunity to do things in the world that bring us and others joy.

So maybe take a moment to pick a thought that pops up in your mind that isn't always the most supportive and consider what you as your own friend would say in response.

As you think of these positive responses,

Supportive responses,

Continue that breathing that allows your diaphragm to be unrestricted on the inhale.

Continue that breathing that allows your shoulders to move away from your ears.

Continue that breathing that allows your belly to release.

This will help you to internalize that positive message that you are creating for yourself.

Now sometimes it can be a bit tricky to think of positive things and that's okay too because what you can start with is just recognizing and having more awareness about the frequency and intensity of the thoughts that you have about yourself.

Are they positive?

Are they negative?

And for the positive ones we want to smile joyfully to ourselves and enjoy those as long and as much as possible.

And for the negative ones maybe if it still feels a bit difficult to be friendly in your response maybe just interrupting that thought by asking yourself is this thought helping me?

When I think that I am not good enough,

That I am not smart enough,

That I am not thin enough,

That I am not X and Y and Z enough,

Is that helping me?

And some people would say well you know it gives you an opportunity to feel motivated but most often people feel a bit discouraged,

A bit down from those thoughts,

A bit anxious about trying to fix it now.

So perhaps asking yourself when these thoughts come up is this thought helping me?

And if you're ready,

If this thought is not helping me then what kind of thought would help me?

It's more likely that the positive thoughts will help you.

I am doing my best.

I am using the resources that I have.

I am committed to being healthier.

I will try doing something a little bit differently to take care of myself today instead of I don't take care of myself at all.

I never eat healthy.

I don't get anything done.

You can see the difference in terms of the vibration of those thoughts.

Breathing in again very deeply,

Really expanding into your chest and your body,

Allowing your body to extend.

Really allowing these ideas to settle within you.

When you exhale,

Exhale those negative thoughts,

Let them go.

Inhaling the positive ones,

Exhaling the negative thoughts.

So how about as you go along in the day or even tomorrow if it's nighttime for you,

Really trying to catch those thoughts,

Be aware of them.

And if you can,

Be your own best friend.

You always have access to yourself.

You are always there for yourself.

So hopefully you can show up for yourself in your time of need by saying the things that your mind and your soul need to hear.

Namaste.

Reviews

So much gratitude for this deeply gentle reminder of the power of positive self-talk. This practice is Kombucha for the mind, body and soul 🙏💫

This was really great . I have a friend who is constantly beating themselves up . I am hoping the can just sit down for 20 minutes and give this a try . Thank you

This was so well-spoken & well-recieved! Thank you so much for your valuable words & your guidance! 💚🙏🏻💚

Thank you for this kind and self-loving medication. It has helped me alot🙏🏻❤️

Very helpful to understand how to be friends with yourself!

I often listen to this track. I find it very helpful.
Thank you 🙏

Thank you for representing. This platform would benefit from more
poc teachers.

Provides space to talk to yourself as a best friend and give a counterpoint to negative thinking.

this is that perfect meditation to embrace mindfulness and quiet the thoughts- saving to favorites 🙏

Exactly what I needed to hear… thank you, Namaste🙏🏽🕉

Wonderful meditation ..calm and clarify was the focus for me..thank you 💛🙏

Thank you for this much needed meditation this morning. It gave me some insight into my thought pattern. Will keep this as one of my favourite.🙏❤️

This was so what I needed and will keep listening to it. Thank you for posting this. Beautiful

Very greatful for yr sharing Dr.! , I was thinking during the meditatiin there could be more silence between speaking , between directions

Helpful guidance especially after waking up from bad dreams

Perfect meditation about being kind to one’s self. You can feel the teachers own struggle which helps you know you are not alone

Good to learn positive ways to strengthen my thoughts in a healthy way.

This is an awesome way to begin my day. Thank you 😊

Thank you

Super! 💐