Hello everyone,
I'm Dr.
Candace Creaseman.
This guided meditation is intended as a tool to help you uncover patterns that arise in your relationships.
As social beings,
We need relationships to survive.
Part of learning to live and grow in connection with others is developing tools for reprogramming problematic patterns we pick up along the way.
We will begin and end with a bell.
Start by finding a comfortable seat or position for your body.
Taking a few moments to stretch or wiggle your body in whatever way allows you to feel more present and more physically comfortable.
Close your eyes if that's comfortable for you,
Or you can find a spot on the floor or wall in front of you to gently rest your gaze.
Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale fully from your mouth.
Again,
Deep breath in,
Slow exhale out.
Put your attention on a single point of breath or physical sensation.
If you're anchoring to the breath,
You might notice the tip of the nose,
The back of the throat as the breath flows in and out,
A single point on the chest or on the belly.
If you'd rather not anchor to the breath,
You might notice your connection to your seat or to the floor,
Or find some other neutral place on the body to rest your attention.
Allow your breath to flow in through the nose and out through the nose,
Staying connected to your anchor,
Feeling your connection to the present moment.
From this space of presence and safety,
Bring to mind a relationship that causes you pain or discomfort.
In your waking present day life,
First notice how your body responds to the thought of this relationship.
Bring your awareness to the physical sensations that arise as you think about this other person.
Without trying to change or disrupt any of these sensations,
See if you can bring some level of acknowledgement,
Empathy,
Or even a deeper compassion for how your body holds this relationship.
You might even just nod your head yes as you allow these sensations to arise without judging or dismissing them.
Now bring your awareness to the mental factors that arise when you think about this relationship.
What judgments or preferences or plans show up as you consider this painful relationship?
As you encounter each of these thoughts,
Again offer whatever level of acknowledgement or acceptance feels available to you.
Nodding your head yes,
Not in agreement with your thoughts,
But in awareness of your thoughts.
So and now bring your awareness to your heart space and the emotions that arise as you consider this relationship.
Noticing feelings of aversion or longing,
Guilt,
Sadness,
Hope,
Concern,
And any other emotions that arise in this connection point between our bodies and our minds.
The emotional space of the heart.
And again as each emotion arises whether alone or with other company,
Embrace it as fully as you can,
Offering it kindness and compassion.
As you're in this space of being aware of all the moving parts of this painful relationship,
I want you to ask yourself if any of this feels familiar.
So allowing the current relationship to fade from your mind,
Allow this question to fill your consciousness,
Connecting you with any previous relationships that may have similar patterning in thoughts or physical sensations or emotions.
As you connect with some other historical relationship that does feel familiar,
Hold that one in your mind.
And again first notice the physical sensations that arise.
Holding each physical sensation in awareness and in as much acceptance as is available to you right now.
Now bringing into awareness any thoughts that arise,
Any mental factors that come into awareness as you consider this older relationship that fits the pattern.
Noticing judgments,
Preferences,
Expectations,
Holding them in kindness,
Creating space now for the emotional impact of this relationship.
Noticing the feelings that arise in your heart space as you reflect on this previous relationship.
Now bringing to mind the version of yourself that was in this previous relationship.
This may have been a somewhat recent version of yourself or it may go farther back to a much younger version.
Bring an image of this version of yourself to mind and notice that person fully.
See if you can become aware of a sense of compassion for this version of yourself.
Maybe sensing that this person was doing the best they could with what they had.
Allow this image of yourself,
This former self,
To fade from your mind.
And now bring back into awareness the original relationship,
The more current relationship that we explored earlier.
Notice if there's any shift in how you experience the thought of this person.
Now that you've explored it more thoroughly,
Now that you have offered yourself compassion,
If nothing feels different,
That's okay too.
The process of awareness unfolds in its own time.
Now allow that image of the painful relationship to fade from your mind.
Bringing your awareness back to your body in your space.
Maybe noticing sounds around you.
Maybe bringing some gentle movement into your body.
And whenever you're ready,
Opening your eyes.
