Healing Your Inner Critic In Relationships

The inner critic can do some serious damage when it narrates our experience of those we love. We interpret behavior as being intentionally harmful, thoughtless, or as evidence that those we care about don't care about us or don't respect us. In this meditation, we tune in to the judgments our inner critic passes on the treatment we get from others, noticing themes of being perceived as less than, damaged, or unworthy. When we notice how our inner critic interprets our relationships, we become empowered to be more flexible, loving, and gentle in our assessments of those we love.

Transcript

Hello,

I'm Dr.

Candice Kreesman and this guided meditation is on healing the inner critic's impact on relationships.

This can be used as a stand-alone practice or in conjunction with day three of the course,

Healing your inner critic.

Our inner critic floods us with negative judgments about ourselves,

But what we often don't realize is how much our inner critic has to say about other people,

Particularly those we care about.

We see our negative judgments of others as being separate from our process of being harsh with ourselves when the two processes are deeply connected.

The inner critic dismisses kindnesses offered,

Builds walls of dissatisfaction when loved ones disappoint us or make mistakes,

And is quick to take behaviors of others personally.

In this meditation,

We will notice the themes of disconnection that arise when our inner critic is navigating our interactions with others.

We will begin and end with a bell.

Start by closing your eyes and centering on the breath.

The breath is our anchor point.

Our reminder that the present moment is a space of safety,

A place for refuge.

Consider the last negative judgment you had about a loved one.

Perhaps you were angry at a partner for not following through on something or feeling hurt that you seem to work harder in a friendship than your friend does.

Go to this memory gently and without attachment.

It's easy to get swept away in the story,

But we want to contact just enough of the story to be an observer rather than a character in that story.

What behavior did your loved one engage in?

Describe what they did or didn't do with as little judgment as possible,

Identifying only the observable aspects of the situation.

What judgment did your inner critic place on that behavior?

What intention did you ascribe to that person?

What role did you cast yourself in?

Do any of these judgments feel familiar?

Take a moment to imagine an alternative interpretation of the events.

If you viewed your loved one's behavior as the result of them having a bad day or of being distracted rather than intending harm,

How do you experience that?

If you interpret this person's behavior in a more neutral way,

Does your negative emotion decrease?

Be still with this process for a few moments,

Taking a new perspective,

Being flexible in your interpretation,

And noticing how your interpretation is a layer of experience that you get to choose when you are in a mindful space rather than in the space of your inner critic.

Celery first,

Ointment and

Reviews

Helpful practice. Can be used again and again as the situation warrants, or until hurt or negative feelings dissipate. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you so much, I’m so glad that this found me today, looking at things from another perspective in a mindful way definitely changes the way you think about a situation! Thank you 🥰

Your words helped me change my day and spirit ⭐️

Excellent reminder. Thanks so much!

Very effective to see things from a different perspective, thank you :)

Helpful for broadening perspective on events. Thank you.

Another great meditation!!

Awesome. Thank you.

💖💖💖 Loving, Caring And Amazing Meditation 🌹🌹🌹 Namasté 🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖

Such a helpful way of looking at hurtful situations incurred from a loved one from a different perspective. Thank you

I appreciate being reminded of the part I play in any negative interaction, and how my interpretation of someone else’s intentions can really cloud a situation.

Very helpful. Thank you 💜 x

Very helpful in thinking about difficult interactions with others.

Perfectly suited for me this morning.
Thank you for the reminder to be open and loving 🥰 to myself and loved ones ❤️💞🙏🏻

Thank you for this beautiful reminder of giving distance to a situation. A profound exercise. Thank you.

Excellent!! Thank-you!!

Thank you very much. Hugs