Yoga Nidra — Embracing the Hag

The hag is an archetype we are all familiar with. She shows up in every princess story as someone we are meant to be afraid of. Ugly, old, dangerous. This disempowers us and disconnects us from our WILD nature, creativity, and the power of the fertile dark. The hag goes her own way, she is unencumbered by rules and judgement. This practice is designed to get us in touch with our WILD again. To remind us who we are, what we desire, and how we can move more freely in the world.

Music by: Christopher Lloyd Clarke

Transcript

On Embracing the Hag.

As always,

Begin by making yourself comfortable gathering pillows,

Blankets,

Bolsters,

Whatever you need to feel most comfortable.

Making your space exactly as you need it.

Part of the Yoga Nidra practice is this setup phase of getting your space comfortable.

It starts to signal to the nervous system that you're about to go into practice.

Into deep rest.

Into receptivity.

So making your space comfortable,

Maybe a pillow behind the knees and the head,

A blanket covering the body.

Creating a rich safety and comfort.

Closing the door,

Shutting out any distractions.

So begin by closing the eyes and bringing your attention inward with the breath.

Inhaling through the nose,

Exhaling out through the nose.

Exhaling out the mouth.

Just allow yourself to drop deeper with each inhale and exhale.

So doing that a couple more times.

Inhaling through the nose,

Exhaling out the mouth.

And one last time.

Inhaling through the nose,

Exhaling out the mouth.

And then as you feel yourself start to become heavy,

Weighted down into the surface beneath you,

Visually imagine drawing a circle around yourself.

Cutting any etheric cords with what you were doing before,

What you have to do after.

Just separating yourself in this now moment from the outside world.

So much of what we struggle with is permission to rest.

To allow ourselves to take up space and dive deep into the self.

So when we take up this practice,

It is a bold act of anomaly.

It separates us from the day-to-day hustle of the world.

Just imagine dropping down into your bones,

Feeling the forehead soften,

The cheeks,

The jaw,

The chin,

The top of the throat,

The back of the neck.

Feeling the shoulders drop down.

Just letting go of the baggage that we carry.

The day-to-day responsibilities or the ancestral responsibilities.

Bringing attention to the lungs and the chest,

The heart,

The belly,

The hips,

The legs.

And just calling in that energy,

The vibration of self-love.

Nurturing this.

It's very rare that we are offered time to rest.

And so we must take it up ourselves.

In doing so,

It can feel selfish to pause from all the busyness,

All the nurturing,

All of the taking care of others.

Especially as a woman,

Especially as a mother,

We're taught to keep going and going and going until complete exhaustion.

And at no time except for surface-level self-love practices are we encouraged to fill our cups up first.

We're taught that that is selfish.

But it's actually more true that if we don't fill up our cups,

We will have nothing to give.

So breathing into that wellspring of energy,

That wellspring of life that lives at the center of the heart.

And offering yourself that kindness,

Offering yourself that invitation.

Just imagine that an angel has come and tapped you on the shoulder and said,

Yes,

It's time to rest now.

It's time to look within.

It's time to reassess what's happening in the outside world.

To reassess what's happening in the inside world,

In the internal world.

And is it congruent with the outside expression?

Is it in sync with how you actually desire to live and be and express?

Is it an adequate reflection of who you are?

So just breathing in those questions,

Setting up your space,

Feeling yourself drop down.

And as we know,

There are always distractions in the outside world.

So just allowing yourself to receive,

For your subconscious to receive,

That any distraction that would come up in the outside world actually allows you to drop in deeper,

To give yourself a radical permission here to show up exactly as you are,

In whatever form.

There is no need for perfection.

There's no need to get this practice right.

There's no need to be something else.

There's no need for a mask.

You just get to take this time for you now and offer yourself the thing that you so deeply need.

That is exactly what your soul needs in this unique moment.

Even if you come back to this practice again and again,

The need that shows up may be different.

The practice of Yoga Nidra begins now.

So as you focus on the breath,

Begin to call in your Sankalpa.

If you haven't worked with Sankalpa before,

It's a kind of intention.

But more than an intention,

It is a desire of an energy that you want to embody.

It is an expression of an energy that you want to become.

Maybe you desire to be more abundant,

Or more forgiving,

Or more grateful.

As you say your Sankalpa,

You're actually calling it in and embodying it as if it is already done.

So Sankalpa is stated in the positive beginning with I.

Examples include I am brave.

I am resourced.

I am free.

You may have worked with Sankalpa before.

You may have one that you're actively working with now.

But what I like to do is quiet my mind and listen to see if there's a new one that wants to arise.

I find that often Spirit knows what I'm ready for before I do.

And so in this practice of listening,

We will discover if a new one is ready.

So just allow yourself a moment to receive your Sankalpa,

Or to anchor one in that you have already worked with.

And stating it three times,

And then call it in.

Feel the essence of it with every molecule of your body.

Feel it so fully as if you are it.

You are the one creating,

The one being created,

And the creation itself,

The Holy Trinity living within you.

There is no separation.

Feel yourself connected to the Earth,

Dissolving into it.

The soil,

The minerals,

Rising up around you,

Feeling so supported by Mother Earth,

At one with nature,

The Mother,

Creation,

The minerals in the soil itself.

Imagine your cells being activated with the wisdom of that soil.

And as I call out locations in the body,

Imagine each one is being seeded,

Rooted with wisdom from the Mother,

The codes of creation itself,

Electrified,

Known,

Inspired,

Wise.

Bringing your attention first to the center of the heart,

Just feeling into that wise,

Unconditional,

Compassionate heart.

From the heart,

Move your awareness into the right shoulder.

And at each one of these spots,

Imagine seeding intention.

Imagine roots planting that are calling you deeper into the Earth,

Calling you into deeper connection with your wild self.

And from the right shoulder,

Bring your attention down and across to the left hip,

Seeding intention there.

From the left hip,

Across and over to the right hip.

And from the right hip,

Up and across to the left shoulder.

Back again,

Over to the right shoulder.

From the right shoulder,

Up and across to the left temple.

From the left temple,

Over and across to the right temple.

And then down and across to the left jaw.

Feel the right side of the jaw,

Up and over to the left temple,

Across the brow line of the forehead.

And then through and across and back to the base of the skull.

Up and over to the crown of the head,

Down and into the midbrain,

The pineal gland.

Then to the right ear,

And the left ear,

And then both ears together.

Become aware of your whole face and head.

And back to just the ears.

And then the space between the ears,

The midbrain,

The pineal gland,

And ask it to activate.

From the pineal gland,

Back to the heart,

And then back over to the right hip,

Up and across to the left shoulder.

Straight down to the left hip,

Up and across to the right shoulder.

From the right shoulder to the right hand,

The right hand to the left hand,

The left hand to the left shoulder.

Feeling both arms simultaneously,

From shoulders to fingertips.

Feel both hands at the same time.

Feeling into the right hip,

Down into the left foot,

Over to the right foot,

And back up to the left hip,

Down to the left foot,

Up and over to the right hip,

And straight down to the right foot.

Feeling both legs at the same time.

Feeling both feet,

Back of the pelvis,

And feeling both feet,

Legs,

And pelvis all together.

Adding the torso,

And then both arms and hands.

So feeling everything from the shoulders down to the fingertips and toes.

Adding the neck,

The head,

The face,

The throat.

Feel and sense the whole entire body.

Feeling the front of the body,

The back of the body,

All that beautiful connection.

All that beautiful connection with Earth.

And then feeling the whole entire body lit up with whole body awareness.

Bringing your attention down into the feet,

And then bringing your attention to the space around the feet,

To the knees,

And then the space around the knees.

Bringing attention to the hips,

And then to the space around the hips.

Bringing attention to the belly.

Feeling the softness of the belly,

The center of creativity.

So much unseen that happens here.

The cauldron of your creativity.

And then bringing attention to the space around the belly,

Bringing attention then to the chest,

Bringing attention to the space around the chest,

Softening,

Opening,

Widening,

Expanding the heart,

Bringing attention to the throat,

The center of expression.

So much happens here.

So much energy is expressed or held.

And then bringing your attention to the space around the throat,

Softening,

Supporting the work of the throat,

And then finally the head,

And the space around the head.

And then as that is complete,

Adding all of these spaces together and feeling the whole entire body.

Beautiful kinetic energy.

Feeling with your own direct experience how much energy you are actually made up of.

We will begin playing with pairs of opposites.

I will call out an emotion,

An experience.

And your job is to just feel it as fully as you can without making a story around it.

If a narrative or a memory comes,

Just drop it to the side.

You can come back to that later.

But for this practice we just want to feel the energy of the emotion itself.

It's a way of letting you see that you are both and.

And all the spaces in between.

A lot of times the narrative that we give ourselves is based on our own judgment of that feeling or experience.

A feeling that is negative or that we don't want to have.

And then we limit our range of emotion.

We limit our range of experience.

So this practice is calling us to expand our field of awareness.

Expand the expression of who we are.

Allowing us to take up more space.

So bringing your attention back into the heart.

Breathing into the heart.

Feeling that beautiful neutrality.

The unconditional love,

Compassion,

Wisdom of the Mother.

Always there within you.

All you have to do is tune into it.

And then the first emotion or feeling that we are going to call in today is the experience of being old.

What does it feel like to feel old?

Society tells us so many stories about being old.

Especially as women it's something we are taught even to avoid.

To not be.

So just breathing in that experience of being old.

What does that feel like?

Maybe the experience of it is different than what you've been told.

And then letting that go and bringing in the experience,

The energy of youthfulness.

What does it feel like to be young?

Maybe that's different than what you've been told.

And then coming back to the heart.

And then calling in the energy now of being afraid.

What does it feel like to be afraid?

Does it have a texture or a taste?

Does it have a temperature?

And then letting that go and calling in the experience of safety.

What does it feel like to feel safe?

Maybe that's different than you would expect.

And then coming back to the center of the heart and calling in the experience,

The feeling of feeling ugly.

Just see and witness and feel that.

Is it big or small?

Is it expansive or tight?

And then letting that go and calling in the energy,

The experience of feeling beautiful.

What does it feel like to feel beautiful?

What does beauty itself feel like?

Maybe it even encompasses some of the other feelings.

And then letting that go and coming back to the soft,

Tender,

Gentle neutrality of the heart.

Full compassion for all experiences.

Everything allowed here.

No judgment.

Experiencing yourself as whole,

Complete,

Nothing else needed.

And begin finding yourself in a place in nature.

This may be a place you are familiar with.

Maybe it's brand new.

Maybe it's a hybrid of those things.

And looking down at your feet,

Noticing what surfaces beneath you.

Noticing the air on your skin.

The smells in the air.

Notice nature,

Other plants,

Trees,

Animals around.

Noticing what kind of day it is.

Noticing the quality of the light.

Are you barefoot?

Just allowing yourself to get adjusted here.

Taking in your surroundings.

And often the distance you notice a woman waiting for you along the side of a trail.

You make your way to her.

You notice that she's wearing a cloak and it's difficult to see her face.

But you notice her hands.

Aged,

Warm,

Soft.

She invites you to follow her.

You don't know why,

But you feel safe.

As if you already know her.

She says she has much to share with you.

There is much about your power and wisdom that has been passed down and wisdom that has been hid from you.

You follow her along the path.

Finally,

Reaching a cave at the base of a hill,

She says,

This is my home.

My sacred space of creation.

The cave is adorned with a beautiful carved green door.

As she opens it,

You hear the creak of a door well loved.

A sound she has no desire to fix.

She invites you in and you are taken by the darkness here.

A dimly lit space that she works in alone.

The only light,

A boiling cauldron in the center of the room.

Lit with green light.

She offers you a candle to see around her space more clearly.

And as you take it,

You begin to notice all the projects she has brewing.

Scraps of paper on the floor,

Fabric,

Thread,

Scissors,

Paint,

Glue.

The woodwork covered in residue from past projects.

The walls covered with tools,

Ideas,

Brilliance.

It's dusty but you can tell that it's because she's so focused on her craft.

So consumed with her own creativity.

The energy moving through her that she has no time for such tedious tasks.

She brings you to a desk in the corner where she lights another candle.

She says,

This is where I do my writing.

This is where I tell my tale.

She says,

Many ideas have been written about me,

But they don't know who I truly am.

They only notice appearances.

They only use ideas to fill in the blanks.

They notice my appearance doesn't fit with their idea of a woman.

I laugh because this gives me full freedom.

I get to create and carve out my own space,

My own path,

My own intention,

My own divinity.

She asks you about your story,

Where you have been and what you have done.

She asks if you are happy,

Sad,

Or joyful.

Have you accomplished the things that you desire to create?

Have you expressed your own authenticity?

Have you carved out a den of creativity for yourself?

Do you have a home for your passions?

A place for your wild to roam free?

Maybe you're not sure.

Maybe this is the first time you're being asked this.

As she listens,

She asks you if there is anything that you'd like to change about your story.

Anything that you would like to rewrite.

Are there any stories written about you that simply aren't true?

Is there any version of you that needs to be rewritten?

As you feel these items well up inside,

Begin to collect in your awareness.

She asks if you'd like to let them go to write a new story.

And if the answer is yes,

She guides you towards the cauldron.

She says,

This is where I place things that no longer serve me.

You are welcome to let go of anything you don't need anymore.

Any story of yourself that's been written about you,

Or maybe even that you wrote yourself,

Unknowingly.

If the answer is no,

She invites you to watch as she lets go of tentacles,

Tendrils,

Ideas,

Projections that no longer have a place inside of her anymore.

When this is complete,

She invites you to sit down in her chair and write a fresh story.

Anything new you'd like to create can be added.

She says,

I will leave you now to the privacy of your creation.

Allow it to fill up this whole space.

Allow yourself to be messy with it.

Make it bold.

Make it yours.

She says,

Don't ever compromise who you are.

You offer your gratitude and appreciation for being invited into this sacred space.

She bows her head and gently slips out.

You feel overcome with gratitude,

With appreciation,

With space,

With creativity,

Ideas,

Desires,

Passions.

Or maybe not.

All experiences are valid.

I will leave you in this space a moment while you are here with this energy.

Just allow yourself to feel what wants to be created,

Wants to be rewritten.

And if anything more comes up that wants to be tossed in a cauldron,

Feel free to do that as well.

And if you're not already there,

Finding yourself at the seat at the desk,

Pencil in hand,

Drawing or writing or painting,

Whoever wants to come through.

As you're feeling this wave,

This flow of creativity moving through you,

Call up again your Sankalpa and again stating it three times.

And you notice becoming sleepy.

So much energy moved here.

And you decide to rest your head on the desk a moment.

And as you begin to fall asleep in her world,

You begin to wake up in yours.

Feeling your spirit begin to arrive back in your body.

The sounds in the room,

Feeling the surface beneath you or behind you,

Feeling your spirit sit back in your body,

Arriving fully here,

More awake than when you began.

And calling your spirit all the way back into the edges of your body with subtle movements.

Just circling the hands and the feet,

Taking a moment to arrive back home.

And when you're ready,

Stretching your arms overhead and arriving fully back.

The practice of Yoga Nidra is now complete.

As you call in more and more movement back into the body,

Find yourself turning over to one side,

Curling up in the fetal position.

Maybe you keep your eye covering on for a moment or pull your back to the floor.

Pull your blanket over your head so you can just be with this precious stillness.

This wisdom,

This communion with a spirit who has been rejected.

One who has been told they don't fit in because of appearance or expression.

And you know now that that is not true.

You know the truth of connection with creativity,

With passion,

With music,

With language,

With dance.

And you know that that is your power.

People's ideas of you are your business.

Just receiving that fully with an inhale through the nose,

Exhale out of the mouth.

Knowing that you can return to this practice anytime you need a reminder.

Anytime you need to commune with your own shadow or the shadow spaces of the unknown.

Feeling gratitude for this practice.

Gratitude for the communion with this compassionate wise elder.

Thank you for practicing with me today.

Sat Nam.