Overcoming Anger

We all get angry. We all get annoyed, frustrated, and sometimes blow up. Can we move into a practice regarding anger and angry interactions where we can step away from the dominance of the anger, and reclaim our own responsibility and integrity around how we played a part in the situation, and diffuse it, come to a place of peace, and let it go? This meditation is designed to help us do just that.

Transcript

Thank you for joining me again today,

My friend.

This meditation is about healing anger.

For so many of us,

Me included,

Anger has been a challenging emotion to feel.

It often comes as a retaliatory sense of being self-righteous or having to defend ourselves in relationship when our partner comes at us with difficulties and accusations.

We often feel this kind of anger when things don't go our way.

Our boss at work might be critical of us or get angry with us.

Or we may have a project we're working on that doesn't seem to go well and we fail in our eyes.

And the anger comes up.

And the anger sometimes takes over.

When anger takes over in this way,

In these situations,

It's awfully difficult to maintain any sense of equanimity or equilibrium emotionally.

And almost for sure,

The mindfulness people have shown us that it's almost impossible to make any kinds of good,

Productive,

Rational decisions for ourselves when we're feeling this upset and angry.

So it really benefits us a lot to try to put that kind of anger into perspective.

And there are other forms of anger like outrage over abusiveness or righteous indignation when we are being treated badly or political situations are hurtful to us and to other people who suffer.

But that's different than what we're talking about here today.

This is simply about the emotional kind of anger that comes up and takes over and gets in our way.

It hurts us and it hurts other people,

This kind of anger.

So I wanted to offer a meditation about calming down this kind of anger and coming to terms with it,

Putting it in its rightful place.

And in the process,

Finding a way to be at peace,

Even if we're still upset,

To still be able to be at peace.

And I know that might be a tall order,

But I do think it's possible.

So let's move into the meditation and find your centered place,

That sense within of calm and serenity,

That place of peace within you.

And as you do so,

Allow your body to relax,

Your thoughts to slow down.

Your emotions come to a calmer state.

Because we want to begin to find this center as a resource,

As a place to come to within ourselves when anger becomes too big and overwhelming.

So locate yourself within your center and slow everything down so you become at peace within yourself.

And now,

Just imagine and picture in your mind if you can,

Or feel it in your imagination,

The last time that you felt really angry and upset,

And the kind of anger that we're talking about here today.

Imagine feeling that anger and allowing it to rise up within you,

That you feel justified in the anger.

You feel like it's your right to defend yourself in your relationship,

If that's where the anger showed up.

Or you're justified in being angry and hateful towards your boss or a colleague,

Or even somebody who cut you off in traffic.

Whatever the situation was,

Just let yourself feel that anger.

Keep it at kind of a light to moderate level.

Don't let it grow really big and disturb your centered place.

But just imagine what it was like to feel that anger.

And then,

For a moment,

Step aside of this anger in your imagination and simply look at it,

Observe it.

And if you can't visualize that,

Just pretend that you can.

Pretend that you can see it.

And what does it look like?

Is it like a creature,

Like a blob,

Like a cloud,

Like a thorny bush?

Whatever the picture is,

Whatever the feeling quality is,

Allow yourself to feel it,

To see it if you can.

And then from your center,

Take a step backwards,

Away from the anger.

And feel a little bit of distance between you and this upset,

This difficult emotion.

Take another step backward and feel a little bit more distance.

And then begin to slowly move away from the anger.

And from your center,

Watch and feel as the anger slowly moves off into the distance.

The farther away you move,

The smaller and fuzzier it gets,

Until finally it simply disappears.

And what you're left with is you in your center.

So just stay in that center for a moment.

And from this place of centeredness within you,

Take a look at your own self and be honest with yourself.

Not hurtful,

Not brutal,

But just be honest.

Are there any parts of the situation that you were feeling so angry about?

That you helped to bring about?

Are there any places where you weren't acting out of integrity that caused this anger to unfold as it did?

Were there any moments where you behaved in a way that you don't feel good about?

So just be kind and be honest.

Because we all have these moments,

We all do these things.

There's no shame meant in any of this.

So just feel this sense of clarity and responsibility for a moment as you sit with your own self in your center.

And slowly accept your responsibility and come to this place.

Come to a place where you make a stand for yourself.

Whatever the situation is,

You will take care of your responsibility in the dynamic.

You'll forgive,

You'll accept,

You'll take responsibility for your own actions,

Your own words,

Your own feelings,

Your own expressions.

And then one final step.

Slowly,

Calmly from your center.

Take responsibility right now for your own feelings,

Your own stance,

Your own part of the dynamic.

And hold that responsibility in your heart and in your mind.

Allow yourself to take a stand for yourself.

For your own self.

And practice forgiveness for your contribution.

And then be free.

Let it go.

And accept yourself for simply being who you are.

So as you stay centered and relaxed for one more moment,

Allow all of this to seep into you.

Allow the anger to be gone,

At least to dwindle.

And for you to stand within your own self.

Stand within your own center and be serene there.

Hold the center for just one more moment and then let it go.

And prepare to move out of the meditation.

Slowly coming back into your room that you're sitting in.

Back into your body.

Back into this time.

And when you're ready,

Open your eyes.

Reviews

Thank you 🙏🏽 Meditation enabled me to detach from anger and connect to calm centre .

thank you. i need more meditations dealing with anger in my life

Another great helpful piece of meditation from you that brings me great understanding of myself. Thank you Dan 🙏

Really special, thank you so much for this wonderful meditation xx

Thank you. You've enabled me to create a scene which I can return to, use and maintain respect and balance.

I’m hard of hearing.. cudnt hear most of it unfortunately. Sounded really effective…
Thank you
I’ll try playing few more times.. and see if I can hear anymore of it better
Thanks again

It’s very true that I need to back off and look at my expectations and choices, and take responsibility for not accepting my partner as who he is, and hanging on to anger. Thank you.

Really loved the visualization of releasing anger. Enjoyed this ❤️

Gratitude for a very helpful meditation 🙏

So tremendously helpful, I’m grateful for this and for you 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️

This is so inspiring and a wonderful way to practice forgiveness and ownership! Thank you

Namaste and thank you 🙏

The visualization was very powerful for me. I could feel my anger diminish immediately.

This is fantastic- thank you so much!

It was really helpful. Thank you🙏