Welcome to this guided meditation for boundaries.
My name is Diane.
This meditation will help you to strengthen your boundaries by practicing saying no.
Let's begin by closing our eyes and focusing on the breath.
As you relax and observe the breath,
Notice how it naturally deepens.
Notice the muscles of your face and neck.
Allow these muscles to soften and relax.
Notice the muscles of your shoulders and arms.
Drop your shoulders and breathe down deeper into your body.
Feel your hands growing warm and tingly with the increased flow of energy.
Feel your legs growing heavy as you ground yourself with the energy of the earth.
Now I'd like you to visualize the face of someone in your life who you have trouble saying no to.
Notice how you feel in your body.
Is there any tension or discomfort?
Where in your body do you feel the tension?
Place your hand over your solar plexus,
Which is located about three inches above the navel.
This is the energy center for self-esteem and boundaries.
Imagine that warm,
Soothing energy is flowing from your hand into your solar plexus.
Relax and breathe deeply into this area.
Now imagine a situation in which you need to say no.
Take two minutes to imagine the conversation,
And practice different ways of saying no.
This is just a trial run,
So feel free to experiment with different words,
Observing how you feel as you say them.
How did you feel when you tried to say no?
Was there any fear,
Anger,
Or shame?
Did you make excuses or apologize excessively?
Some people see excuses as a challenge to overcome,
And they may become pushier or more demanding.
However you choose to say no,
Keep it simple and say it in a calm and confident voice.
The energy is more important than the exact words that you say.
It may help to visualize your own face looking peaceful and calm.
Take one minute to reimagine the conversation.
How did you feel this time?
Let your feelings be your guide to tell you if you are on the right track.
Now what if the other person doesn't accept your no,
And they push harder?
In this case,
It helps to have a short phrase that you can memorize ahead of time.
The phrase should be simple enough that you can use it in many different situations.
For example,
You could say,
I'm not interested,
Or I can't do that.
The first time you say the phrase,
You might like to say it in a gentle yet firm way,
Like,
No thanks,
I'm not interested,
Or I'm sorry,
I can't do that.
If the other person continues to push,
You can say it more firmly.
I'm not interested,
Or I can't do that.
Often the best response is simply no.
Keep your tone of voice neutral and unemotional.
Don't allow yourself to be distracted by arguments.
No matter how many times you have to say it,
Just keep repeating the same phrase until the other person gives up.
This technique is called the broken record.
Take one minute to practice saying these phrases,
Or any others that you can think of with a neutral energy.
Now here's a fun exercise that will help to strengthen your boundaries in all the relationships in your life.
I'd like you to make pictures in your mind of every person you know,
Including family members,
Friends,
And acquaintances.
Go through these pictures quickly,
One at a time,
As if you were seeing the faces on flashcards.
As each face appears,
Simply say the word,
No.
Say it with a calm and confident energy.
Try this for two minutes.
Now check in with your feelings.
Were there any faces that you had trouble saying no to?
If so,
You may want to do more work with the conversation exercise.
Congratulate yourself for the progress you are making in setting boundaries.
Now you may like to take some time to just relax and enjoy your own energy.
I will be silent for two minutes.
Now it's time to come back from the meditation.
Take a deep breath and feel your body.
When you are ready,
Gently open your eyes,
Stretch,
And come back to the present moment.
