Welcome to this guided meditation for codependency.
My name is Diane.
In this meditation,
We will identify the voice of the pleaser,
Which is a subpersonality that operates in relationships.
We will also practice affirmations for codependency.
Let's begin by closing our eyes and focusing on the breath.
As you relax and observe the breath,
Notice how it naturally deepens.
Notice the muscles of your face and neck.
Allow these muscles to soften and relax.
Notice the muscles of your shoulders and arms.
Drop your shoulders and breathe down deeper into your body.
Feel your hands growing warm and tingly with the increased flow of energy.
Feel your legs growing heavy as you ground yourself with the energy of the earth.
Now I'd like to introduce you to the voice of the pleaser.
There is nothing inherently wrong with being pleasing.
People who do not have a well-developed voice of the pleaser are very unpleasant to be around,
But too much pleaser energy can cause us to lose touch with our own needs and desires.
This leads to codependency and a lack of boundaries.
If we are always giving,
Then the people around us naturally fall into the role of always taking.
To give you an idea of pleaser energy,
I will now speak from the voice of the pleaser.
I am the voice of the pleaser.
My job is to please people and keep them happy.
I do this job so Diane can feel safe in her relationships.
She doesn't like it when people are unhappy because it makes her feel stressed.
She's afraid that if she doesn't please people,
They will be angry with her or even abandon her.
As the pleaser,
I am keenly aware of other people's feelings.
I don't want anyone to feel sad or disappointed,
So I do whatever I can to make them happy.
I avoid confrontation,
And I reduce conflict by smoothing things over.
When it comes to making decisions,
I let other people choose most of the time because I'm fine with anything.
I try to be cheerful because I don't want to burden people with negativity.
I always consider other people's feelings.
Now I'd like you to take two minutes to speak from your own voice of the pleaser so you can recognize this energy in your own life.
The voice of the pleaser appears early in life to protect us from the disapproval of others and the fear of abandonment.
Pleasing our parents and teachers gave us a sense of control over our lives,
But it also disempowered us and limited our choices.
To some degree,
We had to repress our self-expression and creativity.
Consequently,
We may have trouble defining our life purpose and achieving our goals.
We may have difficulty recognizing our own feelings,
Because we are more concerned about the feelings of others.
The answer to this dilemma isn't to get rid of the pleaser,
But to develop a more mature pleaser that acts out of love instead of fear.
To help the pleaser mature,
Let's practice some affirmations for codependency.
I will pause after each affirmation so you can repeat it in your mind.
I am a unique individual with my own desires and preferences.
I know what I like and what I don't like.
I am the creator of my own life.
I bring creativity into everything I do.
I can say no without feeling guilty.
I take time to process my emotions and soothe myself.
No matter how I am feeling,
I deeply love and accept myself.
I let other people be responsible for their own feelings.
I know who I am,
And I respect myself.
I practice making decisions so I can become more self-reliant and confident.
I know what's important to me,
And I make decisions based on my own values.
It's okay to make mistakes,
Because I learn from every experience.
Even when I make mistakes,
I still love and accept myself.
No matter what happens,
I will always love and accept myself.
Now we will speak from the voice of the mature pleaser.
Here's how it might sound.
I am the voice of the mature pleaser.
I don't automatically jump in and try to please everyone.
I take time to consider what is the most resourceful way to act in each situation.
I take Diane's needs and desires into account,
And I have a strong sense of fairness.
I act out of love,
Not fear.
I enjoy pleasing others,
But only when it's appropriate.
Take two minutes to speak from your own voice of the mature pleaser.
Now it's time to let go of the voice.
Allow yourself to just relax and enjoy this peaceful time.
I will be silent for three minutes.
Now it's time to come back from the meditation.
Take a deep breath and feel your body.
When you are ready,
Gently open your eyes,
Stretch,
And come back to the present moment.
