Mindful Communication For Strong Relationships

This is a recording of our "Daily Mindfulness with Diana Mirs" live event, which includes practical tips for incorporating compassionate and effective communication into your daily interactions. Together with your Mind-Body Connection Coach, Diana Mirs, learn simple, effective techniques to cultivate self-awareness, reduce reactive communication, and build stronger connections. The event includes a short mindfulness of breath meditation to center yourself before communication.
Perfect for anyone seeking to resolve conflicts more effectively, improve clarity, and transform their relationships by communicating from a place of compassion and calm.

I invite you to check the "Daily Mindfulness with Diana Mirs" playlist for the recording of other events and guided meditations from this series.

Transcript

Hello,

Hello guys,

Good evening,

Good morning,

Good afternoon,

Depending on where you guys are joining us from.

Thank you so much for being here.

I'm really happy to see you all.

I would like to remind us all that it is a safe and inclusive space to be yourselves,

To share your opinions,

Ideas,

And to ask questions,

And of course to interact not only with me,

But within and between yourselves.

And I always love having our lives as an interaction,

As a dialogue and discussion between all of us,

Not only me giving a speech or a kind of a lecture on the topic.

So feel free and express yourself fully.

A few words about me.

My name is Diana.

I am a MindBodyConnection coach,

A psychosomatic specialist,

And a meditation teacher.

I have been teaching here on Insight Timer for the past four years,

And I've been using the app for more than nine years now.

I'm a big fan of it,

Of our community here.

I'm really excited to host this lives and to create any kind of content here for you guys.

So please make sure to follow my profile to explore the courses,

The free guided meditations,

The premium tracks,

And make sure to leave a comment or a review after you listen to a track or a course so I can serve you better,

So I will know whether you enjoyed it,

Whether some challenges were there on your way.

I'm always open for the feedback and our connection.

This is a series of events called Daily Mindfulness with Diana Meyers,

Where every time we discuss various aspects of mindfulness or MindBodyConnection that will help us initially to improve the quality of our lives.

We had already events dedicated to mindfulness,

Sleep,

About morning or evening routines,

About movement,

Mindful movement,

And all of these live events are recorded and I will be uploading them as tracks here on Insight Timer.

So you can go back,

Re-listen to some parts of it,

And the parts that we traditionally have of guided meditation at the end of the live event are also uploaded here.

Today,

I was thinking that we could dedicate our time to communication,

So mindful communication,

Cultivating compassionate and effective communication thanks to mindfulness.

That might seem as a broad topic,

But I specifically want to focus on exploring mindful communication as a tool for building healthier,

Deeper relationships and fostering understanding.

If you guys have any questions in this topic or some specific moments you would like me to cover and us to discuss today,

Please let me know in the comment section.

And of course,

As always,

I am very curious to know your experience within this topic and with mindfulness in general.

In the beginning,

I would like to ask you guys,

What are your biggest challenges when it comes to communication?

If you are open to share that,

Please feel free.

I'm sure that many of us will resonate with that because,

Well,

We are all humans and communication,

Generally speaking,

Isn't very easy for all of us,

No?

Then let's move to the first part where I would like to speak a little bit about the mind-body connection in communication.

So it might seem as something unrelatable,

But actually these terms are very close to each other.

And as a mind-body connection coach,

I can definitely see the strong relationship between both.

I would like to mention that our states,

Whether we are speaking about emotional,

Mental,

And even physical states,

Influence our communication and communication styles immensely.

Just think of maybe some examples in your life,

How it manifested,

How you were feeling,

How it impacted your conversations,

Or how you felt or acted during the act of communication.

For example,

When we feel tired and maybe we are stressed or anxious,

Our heart races a lot or we have unpleasant sensations in our stomach.

Our mind is generally filled with rushing thoughts.

In this state,

It is very difficult to listen actively to our partner or to a speaker,

To respond thoughtfully,

And to actually make our speech and construct sentences,

Use the appropriate words or the specific words that we want to translate our ideas clearly.

All of us,

Our internal states influence the way how we communicate.

And I'm curious whether you have ever noticed that in your life.

Perhaps you may think of how you usually communicate or talk to people in the morning when you feel refreshed,

After a night of a good sleep,

Or after a good cup of coffee.

And at night,

After maybe working hours,

After doing some home chores,

Pretty sure there might be a huge difference.

Perhaps it is not a case for you.

And please also let us know about that.

It will be curious to know your experience too.

For me,

It is definitely the case.

And that is the reason why I tend,

I try to limit the important conversations such as related to work or the projects at night time.

Even in the evening time when I'm not feeling that energized or when I'm not having such a clear mind,

But I usually schedule and pack them in the first half of the day.

Perhaps for you,

For some of you guys,

It might be different because I feel I'm an early bird.

I love to wake up early with a sunrise and I generally go to sleep quite early as well.

But if you're a night owl,

Perhaps it works the opposite for you.

Perhaps you're feeling energized in the evening and it would be better and is better to have important conversations or just generally feel more comfortable and social during the evening or night time.

It all depends,

Of course,

On our,

I wouldn't say just personalities,

But our habits,

Let's say.

So please guys,

Let us know what works for you when you feel kind of social and interactive or whether you have ever noticed this relation between your inner states and the communication.

Let's move to another moment then.

Once again,

Whenever you feel like participating in the comments,

It will be great to hear back from you.

And if not,

Probably this live will be more like a podcast.

Yeah,

Let's see how it goes.

All is well.

So when I was mentioning anxiety or stress and how it influences our communication style,

It's very important to have in those moments self-awareness and the ability to regulate our emotions.

Because mindful communication starts with understanding ourselves,

Our own internal landscape.

It is about noticing when we are feeling tense or anxious or triggered and allowing ourselves to take a pause,

To reflect,

To reflect on what is going on or how am I reacting so we can give ourselves space to choose how we want to react or what is important now.

So we can choose who we want to be in this moment.

I hope you guys resonate with this point,

I'm sure.

And this kind of emotional regulation can take place as maybe just taking a few deep breaths or being silent for a moment or just telling our partner or someone with whom we are interacting that we need a bit of time and simply maybe just acknowledging the emotions that we are experiencing without letting it control ourselves,

Without giving the power to this emotion or inner state,

But taking the power back to ourselves.

Sally,

I see your comment.

Yes,

I have definitely noticed this.

Yeah,

I guess you're speaking about the relationship between the inner states and communication.

Certainly.

Thanks for confirming this,

That it resonated,

That you guys can,

That what I'm speaking basically is clear to you.

Right.

Anyway,

If there are any questions,

Always feel free to ask.

I'm here to discuss it all together.

Well,

And here I already mentioned some of the techniques that might be helpful to regulate ourselves in the moment,

In the conversation.

I'm curious what works for you if you are using some of the tools or techniques that help you in this kind of difficult or even unpleasant moments.

If to speak about my experience with communication for so many years,

I was very scared of conflicts in communication.

And by conflict,

I don't mean any big argument with screens or any kind of extreme emotions.

No,

Just simply maybe not being on the same page with the opponent or with the person with whom I was speaking.

But when I started practicing mindfulness and working with my body,

Which was also very helpful,

Step by step,

I cultivated the self-awareness and I learned how to not just regulate myself in the moment,

But just how to notice what is happening inside of me and the moments when I was getting scared of a conflict or when I was shutting down or was ready to run away.

So just noticing those moments and again,

Just taking a breath,

Taking a little pause helped me to shift my usual pattern and to actually go deeper into the conversation.

And in 90% of the cases,

There was no conflict in front of me or between us,

Not even the potential of it.

It was just all in my head and my internal fear that was speaking.

So now,

Of course,

I cannot say that I am completely healed from it,

But it becomes much easier.

I notice that every time this fear becomes smaller,

Or even if not,

I know that it will be OK.

I have done it already hundreds of times and it was fine.

I'll be alive.

It is not that scary.

So once again,

Just to illustrate how much self-awareness and mindfulness are important for the communication.

And actually,

This is one of the topics,

One of the,

Let's say,

Requests that I'm working with clients in mind-body connection coaching.

One of the recent clients that I had was struggling with anxiety when speaking to her partner.

And we were using various,

Of course,

Techniques,

Not only mindfulness,

But we were also mainly working with the body,

Such as somatic techniques or breath work,

Specifically dedicated to this issue.

And with the time within four or five sessions,

Weekly sessions,

We could already see such a great progress.

Her confidence grew,

Her anxiety eased.

She could see,

Think,

And act more clearly during the acts of deep communication,

Let's say,

With her partner without,

Again,

Either starting to feel guilty or not enough.

What I want to illustrate with that is that our bodies also play a huge role in that because bodies are so wise.

And all of the tiny bits of our experiences that we gained,

Maybe not only through our physical life,

But also from the past generations with our genes or with how we were raised in our families,

This is all stored in the body.

So working with it will be also extremely helpful.

That is why I love the mind-body connection coaching because we work holistically with any kind of request and through the mind and through the body and our spirit,

Of course.

Well,

Let me know if there are any questions here or comments,

If all is clear or is something that you just want to share with us,

Guys.

Okay.

Well,

I see your hearts.

Thank you so much for them.

Then I assume everything is good.

And we can move to the next moment that I prepared to discuss for us today or just to cover within the topic of mindfulness and communication.

So what are actually the principles of mindful communication?

How do you guys understand mindful communication?

Because I'm sure there might be quite a few definitions and very personal understanding of this term and the topic that we are discussing today in general.

So how do you guys understand or perceive mindful communication?

To myself,

I have identified a few principles such as,

Well,

Most of them might be obvious for all of us,

But they are active listening.

I'm sure that it is the first step into developing a high quality communication is that we are willing to know the thoughts to actually hear somebody we are talking to.

By actively listening,

We are fully engaged into the conversation.

The second point is non-judgmental observation.

We can observe the speaker's words or their body language without judgment or interpretation,

Just being fully immersed or trying to be fully immersed into the context and into their meaning,

Into what they want to tell us.

Not something that we construct in our head meanwhile,

No,

But trying to be fully present and paying total attention to what they are actually saying.

So non-judgmental observation is number two.

The third moment is compassionate communication.

And the word compassion,

The term itself might be quite tricky,

I believe.

To me,

This wasn't quite clear until not long ago when we started to learn it in the meditation teacher program with Mingyur Rinpoche.

I am taking part in this year-long program now,

And we had a special module dedicated to compassion where we were exploring this concept fully.

And basically,

In a nutshell,

Compassionate communication is just expressing ourselves with kindness,

With empathy and respect,

And being also compassionate to another speaker.

Right.

So how do you guys understand compassion in general and compassionate communication?

I would say that compassionate communication is also recognizing the humanity in another person,

Realizing that we both or we all want to be understood and valued.

That we can create and we do create a safe space for open and honest dialogue.

And it all starts,

I would say,

With self-compassion.

And perhaps it is even more difficult to be self-compassionate rather than compassionate towards somebody else.

I explored this concept of self-compassion in one of my videos.

And the main takeaway,

I would say,

Is that we can't feel or express compassion towards others unless we feel it and express towards ourselves.

And this brings us to the understanding of our interconnectedness.

That we all are here to be happy.

That we all want to be free from suffering.

This is kind of a Buddhist concept,

But we all want to have ease from problems.

We are all seeking the positive.

And if we are judging others or criticizing even ourselves,

We are projecting it into the world.

That is why self-compassion should be,

In my opinion,

And I'm sure that most of us would agree with that,

Should be the starting point.

Not only for communication,

But for our inner dialogue as well.

Let me know,

Guys,

If the concept of compassion and compassionate communication is more or less clear.

Whether you agree or disagree with that.

Especially,

I would say,

If you disagree with that or have another point of view on it,

Please let us know.

I'm always open to hear back from you,

To learn from you as well,

And to see other ways of thinking about the same topic.

The final moment here,

Speaking about the principles of mindful communication,

Is awareness of internal states.

Something that we already discussed earlier.

Also,

The development of self-awareness is crucial here,

Right?

And in my coaching,

I view compassion and self-compassion as the sides of one coin.

And with many of my clients,

Depending,

Of course,

On their request,

We start with developing self-compassion.

At the end of this section,

I would like to ask,

Guys,

How and with whom do you think mindful communication could improve your relationships?

I'm sure that it is clear that deep,

High-quality communication helps and does improve the quality of our relationships.

So,

You may just reflect in your mind how mindful communication may help you improve the relationships and the relationships with whom,

Especially.

Even just reflecting on this question will help us set the mind into going in that direction,

Into developing that,

Into,

Let's say,

Positive improvements.

And before we will be moving to our guided meditation today,

Which will be about the awareness of the sounds,

I would like to touch upon the benefits of mindful communication.

I've already mentioned that it helps us to deepen our relationships,

To raise their quality.

Also,

Mindful communication will foster deeper understanding,

And not only of somebody with whom we are talking,

But also deeper understanding of ourselves in the context of communication,

In the act of speaking,

In the act of listening,

When we become self-aware or just generally aware of the communication itself.

Apart from that,

Mindful communication builds trust between the speaker and you,

Or between yourself and the audience.

No matter what kind of communication we are talking here,

It helps us build trust,

Which is closely related,

Strengthening emotional intimacy.

If we are talking about communication between friends or romantic partners,

Clear,

Mindful communication will deepen the emotional intimacy.

I'm sure that we all have such bright,

Sweet,

I guess,

Examples of it from our lives.

Let's just remember these examples for a moment,

So they will serve us as inspiration,

Motivation,

To continue developing the mindful communication in our life.

If you would like to share some of the examples,

Please feel free to do so.

Also,

Mindful communication will help us improve the clarity and reduce misunderstanding.

I guess it is clear how it works,

Right?

And at the end,

We will be able to resolve the conflicts more effectively.

As I already mentioned a couple of words about fear of conflicts in my life,

In my experience,

I can definitely agree with that.

In most of the cases,

There might not even be a conflict if we both are communicating intentionally,

Openly,

And mindfully.

And if it happens,

It is not a big problem.

We will know that we can and we will resolve it effectively.

Amanda,

A comment from you.

Hello,

Everyone.

Amanda from Australia here.

I'm new here.

Great.

Welcome to our community.

I'm happy you joined us.

And I guess it's morning time in Australia.

Good morning,

Amanda.

Thanks for dropping the comment.

Well,

Essentially,

Mindful communication transforms our relationships from just transactional exchanges of words into opportunities for deep connection and for mutual understanding.

It empowers us to build stronger,

More fulfilling relationships that are grounded in empathy,

Trust,

And compassion.

And I would like to just go back and listen to that one more time because it sounds so nice and so sweet to me,

I'm sure to all of us.

And I hope after our life,

We will take practical steps to deepen communication,

To be more mindful in communication in our lives.

Laurie,

The comment from you.

Hi from Texas.

Awesome,

You.

Hi,

Laurie.

Welcome.

Amanda,

It's 8am in Australia.

Yeah,

Great way to start the day.

Somebody is just finishing their days.

Somebody is starting.

I love Insight Harmony for that because it brings people from various parts of the world.

And we are all here together now.

Amazing.

All right.

Let me know,

Guys,

If there are any questions,

Something that you would like to comment on or cover before we will move to the guided meditation practice.

Amanda,

I don't want to come back.

I've learned every lesson.

I want peace now.

Can you please clarify where you don't want to come back?

Maybe I've missed something.

Maybe some of the comments are not popping up here.

I'm not sure.

Sometimes the teachers report this issue.

But I want to say that's great that you understand it about yourself,

That you are certain about your boundaries,

As I can judge from this comment.

Excellent.

I want peace now.

I totally get it.

Absolutely.

When my time is up,

They say we reincarnate.

OK,

I see.

Right.

I see where you come from.

OK.

Right.

Thanks for sharing that.

And I wish you peace then if you strive for that spiritually.

Yeah,

Certainly.

Right.

All right,

Guys.

Let's move to our guided meditation practice.

Let's settle in.

And I would like to guide you through a meditation on awareness of sound today.

Let's start by finding a comfortable posture.

You can sit on a chair,

On a cushion,

Or even practice it lying down on a yoga mat or your bed.

Whatever feels right for you now.

Just make sure that your back is relatively straight,

But not rigid.

And think of it as an alert relaxation.

Take a deep breath,

Sending the air into your belly,

Ribs,

And head.

And with the exhale,

Close your eyes gently or gaze if you prefer.

Let's repeat a deep breath in.

And you may sigh out with a sound,

Letting all the tension melt away.

Feel your shoulders relax,

Your face relax,

Torso,

Legs,

Your whole body's letting go.

And bring your attention to the sounds around you.

Start by noticing any pleasant sounds.

Maybe a gentle hum of a fan,

Birds chirping outside,

Or even the soft rhythm of your own breath.

Just listen.

Do not try to change anything.

And simply know what you are hearing.

Notice how these sounds come and go.

Thoughts may arise.

Emotions might surface.

Physical sensations might grab your attention.

And that's perfectly okay.

Let them be there,

Like clouds passing in the sky.

And gently bring your focus back to the sounds.

Let's expand our awareness a little bit and include those neutral sounds,

The ones that are just kind of there.

The background hum,

Ticking of a clock,

Distant traffic.

The sounds that we usually filter out.

Just notice them.

Again,

If your mind wanders,

That is perfectly fine,

And there is nothing wrong with it.

It just means that you're a human being.

Slowly draw your attention back to the neutral sounds around you.

And now,

With a little courage,

Let's widen our awareness to include any sounds that might be a little more challenging.

It might be a sudden noise,

A conversation.

Or a sound that usually distracts you.

And without any judgment,

Simply notice them and let them be as they are.

Every sound,

Even unpleasant one,

Is an opportunity for practice.

Now,

Gently release the focus on any specific sound.

And allow your awareness to rest in this space where the sound arises and dissolves.

The silence that surrounds and holds all sounds.

Just rest here for a few moments.

As we bring this meditation to a close,

Take a moment to reflect on how sound can be a tool for mindfulness.

How it can bring us into the very present moment.

And remember that every sound,

Pleasant or unpleasant,

Is a doorway to connection.

First of all,

Connection to yourself.

Take a few deep breaths here.

And when it feels right for you,

Slowly open your eyes and arrive fully into your space.

And let's carry this awareness with us as we move throughout the rest of the day.

This concludes our meditation practice for today.

Thank you guys so much for staying until this moment together.

I truly appreciate that.

And please leave some feedback about how it was for you.

Whether you could follow the instructions,

The guidance,

What was challenging,

What sounds you were meditating on.

And I hope that this meditation of awareness of a sound will help us to remind ourselves to stay present and mindful of our conversations,

Of our communication.

Be you are meditating on raindrops.

Amazing!

That is very relaxing as I can imagine it.

Please feel free to re-listen to the previous episodes when they will be uploaded.

Follow me here on Insight Timer.

When the community grows,

It gives me so much motivation to keep hosting these live events to create more content for you guys.

It is truly one of my purposes professionally and just in life.

Sally,

Thank you.

That was really nice and thought-provoking.

Oh,

I'm so happy to hear that.

Yes,

I'm really glad that it resonated.

If there is some topic related to mindfulness,

Mind-body connection,

Or maybe meditation in general,

Please drop also a direct message to me.

I'm happy to hear back from you,

To connect with you guys,

And just to know you better.

I wish you to enjoy the rest of your days and see you later.

Bye.