Releasing Judgment, Stepping Into Delight

Welcome to our third Sunday Stillness. It is my hope that you join us for a moment of contemplation, meditation, and stillness. Today we spend some time talking about releasing one of the trickiest parts of our ego, judgment. I share my own experience just in the last week with judgment and how it stands in the way of finding that still mind. We find some tools to forgive ourselves for this fun little experience with judgment and we pull a card from The Wisdom Keepers, the card of Delight.

Transcript

Hello,

Hello.

Good morning.

Well,

Welcome to the third Sunday Stillness.

So glad you all could make it and I'm excited to see and hear from different people that are excited about these moments of stillness.

Of all the places in the universe you could be,

You chose to be here with us right now in this moment.

I'm so grateful.

You'll hear me say over and over in a big reason I've decided to start these Sunday Stillness moments together.

Is a saying from Lao Tzu that those of you that know me and talk to me are probably sick of hearing it,

But for me it is almost haunting at this point because of its truth and its depth and that is to the mind that is still the universe surrenders.

Lao Tzu.

To the mind that is still.

You know as I've had some really intense dreams and I'm not much of a dreamer lately and I'm not much of a person who remembers dreams I should say.

I'm a big dreamer by day,

By night I think I'm exhausted so I sleep and I don't remember many of my dreams but quite a few have been coming to me lately and then I wake up in the middle of the night and I think about this concept of a still mind and it is so much easier said than done.

A still mind,

This powerful machine that at the end of the day I personally believe is really just there to serve us,

To protect us and to help us experience life.

To be grateful for this mind has helped me release some of the busyness of the mind.

Thank you brain for sharing the information you just shared,

I thank you for trying to protect me if I'm feeling some version of fear.

Thank you mind.

And yet I still find my mind busy.

You know and then each week my goal is to bring some moments of contemplation.

We could hop on here and just be still together and my hope is that maybe you could probably do that on your own.

We will step into some stillness but at the same time while I am going through my own growth and my own leaps,

My own moments of stillness throughout the week,

I love using my mind as a tool for contemplation.

So I enjoy bringing some of this contemplation to the table and maybe it resonates,

Maybe it doesn't.

Today's probably will in terms of what we will be sitting with around this idea of a still mind and what might be a barrier of entry to stillness.

What came to me this week is this idea of judgment.

I am,

You are,

We are,

They are,

Bad,

Good,

Evil,

Holy,

Spiritual,

Separate,

One.

All of these forms of judgment not including the judgment we have upon ourselves and the internal dialogue that we usually have.

As we experience our own internal dialogue we then turn it outwards in many cases and start to judge others.

This idea of judgment,

If we don't even judge judgment and we realize it comes as a form of the human experience,

To be honest I think this three dimensional world we live in would be a little bit boring if we didn't have some of it.

Up down left right good bad.

When you think of living in the jungles or thousands upon thousands of years ago,

Good and bad judgment was nowhere near the same that it is today.

It was that spider is bad,

That snake bad,

That lion not good,

Run,

Climb,

Get away.

And how the evolution of that has led us towards really pushing boundaries of existence and boundaries of experience.

It's given us the gift of even the idea of contemplation.

What am I feeling?

What am I experiencing?

Judgment has served us and can be moving us towards a lightness of being,

A greater experience.

But like all frequencies,

Judgment can come with its own shadow.

And that shadow showed up for me recently in a experience with a gentleman at an event where I was there to connect with people and I was sipping on a glass of wine and having a good conversation and this individual sat down next to me and you could feel a duality happening with him where it felt very heavy,

But he had this lightness in his eyes.

And he started sharing and having a great conversation and felt like out of nowhere.

He had asked if I knew Jesus and for me it was an interesting moment because I grew up as a Christian and so much of my heart and soul is grateful for the world of Christianity and some of the teachings I grew up around and the morals that I was able to have established in me at a young age.

And another part of me is really frustrated by the dogma and the religious aspect of it that actually does bring this heavy cloud of judgment that never even as a kid sat well with me.

And I definitely ran from it after my teenage years and through my twenties and thirties,

This world of Christianity was something I almost rebelled against and I lost even the great lessons that come from it because of my own judgment of the people who tended to judge me in that world.

It created this cyclical version of judgment and I just ran from it.

And here is this gentleman sitting down with me asking me if I had experienced Jesus Christ.

And my first thought was judgment.

Oh boy,

I mean,

Here we go again.

Then I took a moment and I was breathing through it and then I experienced a really interesting version of ego and judgment,

Which was,

Okay,

Let's hear what this guy's got to say.

And when I reflected on this,

While I was giving space and I was hoping on the outside,

It felt like I was willing to step into it.

On the inside,

It was actually a very arrogant experience for me because I still had that layer of judgment hidden beneath this moment of,

Okay,

I'll listen.

And he looked at me and he said,

Did you know we're all born sinners?

And I was there and there was this woman in this place who had this beautiful newborn as well.

And I couldn't help but look at the newborn and look at him.

And he had been sharing these dense moments in his life and he had been sharing all this heaviness in his life.

And then he's asking me these questions,

Did I know we were all born sinners?

And I'm looking at this newborn going,

Wait,

What?

How is that child a sinner?

And here I was judging his thinking again and just finding myself in this space of duality and really wanting to love him and wanting to do all this stuff.

But at the same time,

I couldn't help but have this sarcastic undertone in every word and he could feel that.

And he eventually just got up and kind of walked away after we had some intense energetic exchanges.

And I didn't really know what to do with all this.

And I wanted to play the role of the smart guy who knew the Hebrew translation or the original translation of sin as an example.

And he's asking me about sinners.

And I want to look at him and go,

Yeah,

That's,

I believe it's pronounced chahtah,

Sin basically meaning to miss the mark or a failure to fulfill the goal.

I'm like,

Well,

Sin isn't evil.

I wanted so badly to get into this debate with this guy and argue and I'm catching myself in judgment.

I'm like,

Oh,

My,

I'm judging myself.

And he was,

He could feel it and he walked away.

And I thought that was pretty profound.

And it left me stirring to the point of a couple nights later,

I'm actually in this dream state where I was in the dream in plant medicine and in this deep,

Profound experience.

And as I woke up from this dream about three o'clock in the morning,

I'm sitting there and the first thought I have is around this guy,

Why did he come to me?

Why was he there?

What was the lesson I can learn from that moment?

How can I grow from that experience?

And very quietly in this moment of no judgment,

3am,

Which 3am is so good at this,

It's so still.

This simple voice shared with me,

Well,

If you do know the true original meaning of sin,

Which is just to not fulfill the goal or to slightly miss the mark,

That's called being human.

So,

Yeah,

We are all sinners.

We aren't meant to be God,

To be the creator or consciousness.

We're meant to be human,

To miss that mark,

To screw it up,

To grow from that.

That's what evolution is.

Someone had to get eaten by the lion before we realized probably shouldn't hang around that big cat.

We're here for that experience and we have gone really,

Really far down the rabbit hole of what it means to just simply miss the mark.

We've lost the enjoyment of the experience as humans of missing the mark.

What if that is the intent,

Is to learn and grow and learn and grow?

That is the process of creation itself.

What happens if I allow myself to miss the mark?

I release judgment knowing I came here to make a mess and clean it up.

I came here to grow and most importantly,

I came here to experience the density of it all and then do something with it.

Here in those experiences so that we can collectively move forward to not repeat what was but to try something new and screw that up and contemplate it.

What happens if we could try new things,

New experiences without judgment?

And without judgment maybe simply means accepting that there might be judgment,

Fear.

What if someone else judges me?

Can you accept that?

How big would you play if you just accepted that judgment as a part of the process and you could release it?

What types of quantum leaps in life could you take?

More importantly,

The thing that I hope to bring a little taste of is stillness if we could find that okayness in judgment,

In the mess by surrendering to the idea that it is there and not judging judgment itself.

Could you still that mind for just a brief moment?

So how can we release all of this?

One of the most profound simple prayers comes from the stunningly beautiful islands of Hawaii.

The prayer of Ha'oponopono,

Which simply in translation says,

I'm sorry,

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

This can be in prayer for others,

Could be in prayer for self,

And be in prayer for both.

Forgiveness,

If I remember from my Christian upbringing,

Was one of the greatest gifts the man we call Jesus brought.

The idea of forgiveness relinquishes the mess we've created and the judgment we have.

Give space for just a moment from forgiveness to creating a mess again and then forgiving that again.

What I'd love to do for a brief moment with you right now is move into a few breaths.

And a moment where we can access a higher consciousness and bring it into this present moment as we move from this contemplation around judgment and we move into a message that was brought to us today.

How can we transition from wherever you're at right now into a moment of stillness?

One of the best ways is breath.

One of the best ways is to visit a space where there's no place other than where you are.

There's no thing to accomplish other than what is already done.

So if you will close your eyes.

Listen to your body.

Hear any noise that's around you and accept it with no judgment.

As you breathe out,

Push all the air in,

Breathe in through the nose.

Hold and release.

As you take another deep breath in through the nose,

Feel that breath circulate through your body as you hold it.

And as you release,

Let go of judgment.

And as you breathe in,

Breathe in forgiveness of self.

We are all doing the best that we can.

Hold that forgiveness in and let it out.

One more deep breath using your diaphragm and let it expand out as far as you can.

Come into this present moment.

Hold and release.

As you breathe normally,

Take in a simple concept.

What if all that you wanted to accomplish was done just for a moment?

What if the growth you wanted to achieve,

The love you wanted to have,

The businesses you wanted to create,

The leadership you wanted to step into,

What if all of that was done?

Can you feel that space of done?

Is there judgment in this space where it's done?

Can you feel free?

What does it feel like in this moment for things to be just done?

Can you find peace?

Can you find ease?

As you find that sense of done,

Peace and ease,

Take one more breath in and out.

And open up your eyes and come back to this moment.

Can you sit here and now with your eyes open and find this state of peace?

In this place we call done,

In this space where there's nothing more to do in this moment,

Can you get a little taste of stillness?

Free from judging oneself,

Judging others,

Needing to be something other than where you are.

How long can you hold that space even in some uncomfortable silence?

Is there a point at which you feel an urge for something to happen?

A need for something to interrupt the silence?

If so,

Go back to that space of done.

Be still.

If you feel your mind wanting to get busy again,

Just say thank you.

If you find judgment creeping in,

Just say thank you and let it go.

As I sat down this morning,

One of my favorite things to do is pull a card for myself and in this case,

What is a message I can bring to this conversation?

And of course,

As it always ends up being,

It ends up being a perfect message.

On the other side of judgment,

When I said what can lighten this up a little bit and as I'm shuffling through the cards,

It was no more than a couple seconds when from the wisdom keeper's cards that stem from and are created from the gene keys.

The card of delight popped up.

Not only did delight sound right,

But as I read its message,

I could not help but sink into it myself and get lost in the perfect timing of this great message.

While we can honor judgment and judgment has both a lightness of being and a shadow,

While stillness can be nothing,

There can also be a frequency and a frequency that's held even within the stillness and delight seemed to be a perfect frequency for today.

This says my gift to you,

I come to share an ultimate truth.

Nothing really matters,

But life and love.

It's time for you to enjoy life's small pleasures and to relax in your own body no matter how it looks.

You can surf life like an exciting wave,

Whether or not you understand what's happening,

But to do this,

You must first be willing to let go of the past.

Release all agendas and keep your mind as open as your heart.

Remember the less seriously you take things,

The easier it becomes to get out of your own way and allow life's delightful surprises to take you exactly where you need to go at exactly the right time.

The magnificent and magical universe is at work in you all of the time.

If we could lean in this week into not trying to release judgment or escape judgment,

But if we could seek out delight,

If we could lean into the idea that nothing really matters but life and love,

If we could surf what comes our way like an exciting wave,

If we could release all agendas,

That's not easy to do,

But if we could,

Could we keep our mind open and could we keep our heart open?

Could we lean into the delightful surprises life has for us as our dear friend,

Diana Wentworth,

Expresses,

Expect magic.

We could look for those synchronicities and moments of delight in the big and small things.

We could probably find many moments of breathing deeply,

Releasing and surrendering to this incredible ride that we consciously chose to come on.

For me,

One of the easiest ways to access this came from a plant medicine ceremony and it is something I am also still contemplating deeply.

It ties back to Christian roots and ties back to all teachings on some level.

This profound wisdom that comes from two words that we will move into meditation around.

And from these two words,

We can find stillness,

We can find delight,

We can find forgiveness,

We can find our humanness,

And these two words are,

I am.

I am.

If you add a question mark,

I am.

If you add an exclamation,

I am.

If you add no punctuation,

I am.

From these two words,

You can add anything you want.

I am human.

I am love.

I am joy.

I am forgiveness.

One of my favorite songs to wake up to is with Ram Dass speaking his wisdom and beautiful music behind it where he is contemplating awareness.

I am aware.

I am loving awareness.

I am.

So if you will with me,

Close your eyes.

Get comfortable.

We will lean in through this meditation,

Through the contemplation of letting go of judgment and moving in to I am with a experience and energy at the end,

Hopefully,

Of delight,

The lightness of being that can ride any wave.

Take a deep breath in.

Hold.

And release.

Let your body sink,

Whether you are laying or sitting.

Just sink.

Feel the gravity of Mother Earth.

Feel the wonderful space around you.

Feel the extraordinary vastness of the space within you and let it expand out with your breath.

Connect to this inner knowing.

Connect to the gravity,

To the truth of these two words.

I am.

I am.

Feel these two words in every cell of your body.

I am.

I am.

Feel these two words radiate from your heart out into the universe as truth.

I am.

I am.

Hear this truth come back to you from the universe and receive it as truth.

I am.

Breathe in.

I am.

Breathe out.

I am.

I am.

I am.

Feel the oneness of the truth that I am.

See it in those around you.

I am.

See it in the stranger's eyes.

I am.

See it in the mirror.

I am.

As you take one deep breath in,

Find that moment of stillness,

Knowing I am.

Breathe in to that moment of stillness.

I am.

From this space of stillness,

From this space of I am,

Find that trust in the great mystery.

Feel that fluidity of life,

That trust,

That knowing.

Can you lean in and experience some delight and excitement,

Some joy?

This lightness of being,

This playful,

Childlike wonder,

This curiosity.

Can you feel that?

As you begin to feel that vibration,

That playfulness,

That lightness of being,

Let that be anchored in,

Let that awareness buzz through your body.

And as you become more aware of your body,

Feel yourself coming back into that chair,

That bed,

That couch.

Feel that awareness and let that awareness bring more excitement for your day.

As you take one more deep breath,

And as you exhale,

Open your eyes.

Well,

We did it.

Be easy on yourself this week and realize judgment is a part of the journey.

It serves us in many ways,

And a part of being human is that.

A way to release judgment of self and others,

To find those moments of stillness is to be playful in light.

If that seems hard,

Practice forgiveness of self and others.

And as you close your eyes each night and as you wake up each morning,

Lean in to these two words,

I am.

So grateful for all of you joining this wonderful Sunday.

Happy 22nd.

Enjoy your day and may you move through this week with some stillness and delight.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you for giving me a new appreciation and a solid foundation for the messiness of life.

Update: when in doubt, remember Devon saw you through a screen. No more hiding. No more excuses. You’ve now entered the no coddle zone. Unless you really need a good coddle. Take one; then get back to it. You got this queen ✨😮‍💨💪🏾🫶🏾

As always insightful and calming. ❤️

Insightful, thank you

I needed this to help me break through. It definitely made me conscious of where we can give ourselves and others more grace. Thankyou 🙏🏼

Thank you 🙏❤️ That was very powerful and effective . I fell asleep right after the relaxation you guided . Namaste 🙏

I found this very powerful. The tone of your voice is clear and soothing. The music was perfectly in the background supporting your guidance. I look forward to coming back to this and also checking out your other offerings. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts. ✨🙏🏼💜✨

I Am. Openness. Delight. Bring the joy. BE.
Thank you 😊

A mix of contemplation and meditation on judgement/forgiveness and the connection that we have to each other as humans through the lens of your personal experience and wisdom. Thank you

Beautiful. Thank you.
I Am Especially to practice forgiveness of self or others if the lightness and joy aren’t easily accessible.

Glad I found you .Thank you 🙏