Looking For The One - Valentine's Relationship Blues

Valentine's or any holiday can be awful when we don't have a partner! *sigh* That is until you meet the ONE. And that ONE is you. Let's meet the deepest relationship - our one with LIFE. Let's fall in love with Life! Who knew we were so Polyamorous? Love, Awaken, LGBT, Straight, Compassion, Gratitude, Life, Valentine, Loss, Anxiety.

Transcript

Well,

Tonight we'll be delving into relationship and our expansion of that concept because we tend to narrow it down a little bit.

And together,

We'll take a journey into what life wants us to understand a little bit more.

So we just begin to breathe in slowly.

Noticing that as we greet the breath,

It greets us as well because life isn't just limited to a partnership or a relationship with one person.

Life is relationship to all things.

And that's what makes being here so wonderful is that we're in constant relationship with life.

And the very first thing life does is give us a beautiful gift,

The gift of air to breathe in.

And it's in abundance because life wants us to know that it's all freely available.

And it's immediate.

As soon as you are out of that womb,

You're greeted with abundance and a very intimate relationship with life.

Because life comes in like air through our nose.

It enters and penetrates our bodies.

And we breathe it in and then exude back out a gift of ourselves.

So it's already about abundance and sharing and intimacy.

That's how we're greeted.

And how much does life love you?

That the very first gift of life is this loving abundance that says and greets with that deepest connection and that intimacy isn't limited to just one person in your life,

That you're capable of having intimate relationships.

And by intimacy,

I mean these connected,

Bonding,

Loving relationships with life itself and with you.

And with others.

So sometimes on Valentine's Day or when we get near it,

If we're not in a relationship,

We can be very hard on ourselves.

And sometimes even if we're in a relationship,

We can still be hard on ourselves.

If you're not in one,

You think you should be in one.

And if you're in one,

You wonder if it's the right one.

It's like,

And the relationship is first with you.

And I remember the first time I heard that,

I was very disappointed,

Right?

Because I was looking for something outside of me to be that connection to joy.

And that was true until I met me.

Because I didn't have any clue of who I was or the beautiful,

Intimate relationship that I could have with myself.

And it doesn't diminish or change the desire to connect with another person,

But it changes that desperation.

And it's like,

When we do this,

When we love ourselves and when we have a relationship with ourselves,

We begin to understand unconditional love.

Because we know about ourselves,

What we've heard.

What we've heard.

And can you relate that thoughts about you are only telling you what they've heard about you?

They don't actually know you.

If you begin to question a thought,

It's not gonna have a very broad perspective.

It may show you a thousand different stories,

But all thousand stories end up at the same conclusion.

It's really on repeat.

And it can only tell you what it's heard about you.

So if you have a thought and it shows you an image,

Or if you have a thought and it says something to you,

Or if you have a thought and it gives you a feeling,

Then you can know that it's a memory about a way of thinking about you,

The way it's heard something,

And that's not you.

So let's get to an intimate relationship with ourselves.

Let's move past our thinking.

And to do that,

We're gonna breathe in together.

We're gonna breathe in together.

And we're gonna feel the appreciation that life is still greeting us like that first breath when it said,

Welcome.

Here's what you need.

And there's an abundance,

Making sure that you have it,

That very first breath.

And consistently throughout the entirety of our lives,

That breath has been coming and wanting to remind us the joy of the intimate relationship with ourselves and with life.

And there's actually no separation between you and life.

You are life.

If you sit here and do nothing but breathe,

You're life.

You exist.

You participate.

And by the fact that you exist on this planet,

You're affecting it with your vibration of who you are.

And you are welcomed,

And that vibration was welcomed with that first breath and with every breath since that time.

And it's a reminder to go inward,

Going past the mind,

Past the thinking,

And into the being,

Your own body.

Because life on this planet,

You get to enjoy through a body.

And your vibration is present through this body.

And affecting everything around you.

And air just wants to remind you to greet it,

To merge with it.

Notice how when you breathe in,

You merge with that breath.

It actually blends in with your body.

And it oxygenates your entire body.

And it reminds you of how your own being fills your body.

That that vibration affects every cell of your body.

So as we breathe in and go past our thinking mind into the body,

And we fill our own lungs with this air,

And we merge with it,

We begin to feel our own heartbeat.

And we for a moment consider,

Where do we feel in our body the most ourselves?

If you could locate where you feel the most centered you,

And notice that space in you.

And from your mind,

You're just observing,

You're noticing.

You're noticing that space and that vibration.

And then as you continue to breathe in,

You go from noticing that space,

Whatever way it presents to you.

It can be a color,

A feeling,

A vibration,

Or just a knowing of that space.

And once you've observed it,

Keep moving closer.

Be like the breath.

And instead of observing that space,

Merge with that space inside of you.

And in this space,

Notice how the breath and you,

Your being,

And your body are all one.

As you breathe in and it merges into that same space,

You breathe out,

That you're in tune with that rhythm of the breath.

And is it really separate from you?

You begin to notice the rhythm of the breathing in and out that you are.

So here we are as this rhythm.

And it swoops us in to that centered space.

And we hold it together,

This space.

And even if our mind wants to chatter,

We don't concern ourselves with it.

We keep our focus on the space that we've merged into.

It's like you still notice your body,

But you know that you're the energy within that body.

You just keep breathing into that space,

Noticing that rhythm.

And in this space,

You begin to expand the awareness of relationship.

That this space is your home.

That though you are in this body,

That the space is home.

And it's at home in this body.

And it's at home in this world.

And yet it's attached to all that is.

And how is it able to be both at home in a body in this planet,

And also be the space where everything is?

And when we try to think about it,

We really can't fathom it.

So we know that thought isn't useful in this space.

That it's for being,

And it's for getting to know you.

And it's for getting to know an aspect of yourself that is beyond a thought.

Because a thought can't keep up with the absolute spaciousness that you are.

It's like you can be in this space,

Or you can be in a thought.

Or you can be in this space and aware that thought happens.

And in this space,

You're not separate from the wind,

Or the feeling of the temperature in the room.

You're not separate from yourself.

See,

A thought is separate from you.

It can only tell you what it's heard about you.

But this space is quiet.

It doesn't have anything to say in words about you.

This space is very aware.

Of the temperature in the room.

Of the gift of breath.

Of the rhythm in the heart.

And there's a feeling of gentle peace.

And a bit of excitement that you've come home.

That you're willing to take the time to focus on the real you.

And so we feel this excitement together.

We feel it move into a sense of love.

A sense of love.

Not that you have to do anything to be loved.

But that you are love.

And you are loved.

See,

If you're one with everything,

You both are love.

And are loved.

And in this intimate relationship with yourself,

You can love everything about you.

Because you're not worried about perfection here.

You can see and feel the perfection of all it is.

You can have humor at your own thoughts.

And this space loves loving you.

That you can love you.

This space doesn't hope to love you,

It loves you.

It doesn't want to just love you,

It loves you.

And even if a thought says,

Well,

I don't love me.

That's not you,

That's just a thought.

And love that thought.

And as you learn about you,

Through being in this space,

Because this is the most important relationship that you can ever have,

Is with getting to know the real you.

There is no other relationship that can love you the way you can love you.

Because you don't have to hide from any thought,

Because you can love that thought.

You don't have to hide from any fear,

Because you can love that fear.

And certainly,

When you first embody this space through your focus,

Because you are always embodied,

But through your focus,

You can experience this space.

And at first,

It's like,

Well,

How do I get to know me?

And that's the first journey of your focus going back to the mind.

And let that go.

And return to this space,

Because this space doesn't ask how to love you,

It just loves you.

And allow that.

It doesn't ask how,

It does it.

And you just keep your mind focused on the space.

It doesn't wonder if you're worthy of love.

It loves you.

And it doesn't ask how.

It doesn't ask you what you've earned or what you're bringing to the table.

It loves you.

And we're not used to that.

So our mind wants to question,

And you can feel that pull to that thought.

And you have to back away from that thought and return your focus back to the space.

And when that space,

When that space has your focus,

Then you start to love.

And allow yourself to feel the love that you are.

And you start to get to know this loving being that is intimate with the breath.

That is intimate with the environment.

That is intimate with every space that you're aware that you're in.

That relationship can include the weather.

You can have a relationship with the weather.

You can have a relationship with animals.

And you can have a relationship with plants.

And you can have a relationship with the sun.

You already have relationships with them.

But when the focus is on a thought,

It's not aware of the intimacy and the love that you're surrounded and contributing to.

And first,

Allow yourself to feel this love.

Allow your body to receive the love that you are.

So keep in the focus on the love that you are.

The love that is vibrating in this space.

And allowing it to vibrate more strongly.

Allowing it to fill your entire chest.

To fill your shoulders and your neck.

To fill your torso and your hips and legs and your feet.

Allow your body to feel the resonance of the space that you are.

This space that you are.

This body that you get to love in the space that you are.

And then as you filled your body with it,

Extend it outside of your body.

Let it just keep vibrating.

And as it touches the air and the atmosphere outside of your body,

It begins to shift and have an intimate relationship with spaciousness.

And from here,

As you enter a room,

You can be comfortable in the spaciousness that you are.

And not dependent on how you're received in that environment.

And in fact,

You kiss all the air molecules around you with that loving being that you are.

And those just sort of dissipate and fill the room.

And begin to intimately care for those around you.

And it's not a struggle.

And it's not an affirmation.

Just is.

Because you're loved.

And as you love you,

And love your body,

And the spaciousness that you're in,

You're loving everyone else.

You don't need to judge them or decide if they deserve it or don't.

You're just loving.

And as you realize that that's happening because you love you,

You begin to see,

This is just a small aspect of how much the universe loves me.

Because when you begin to greet yourself in life,

In spaciousness with love,

It is immediately reflected back to you.

Because the universe is recognizing the love that you are with the love that it is.

And being in that space,

And recognizing that you are the space of love,

And you are the space that you're in,

That you're not separate,

Then you enjoy loving you and all the yous outside of you.

And it becomes more important for you to love than to judge.

And you have this discernment of what connections to continue,

And which ones are not ones that you wanna focus on.

Because we're still all connected.

But it is your right to choose the spaces that you wanna participate in,

And the ways you wanna participate.

And we can choose to participate with love in the body that we're in,

Loving that body.

And we can choose to participate in the space that also encapsulates our thoughts,

Because we're that space.

And I can choose to be loving to my mind,

Whether that mind loves me or not.

Some of my thoughts aren't very kind to me.

And I don't have to get angry with them,

Because I know they're just repetitions of something that they've heard.

And really,

When a thought comes to me,

It's asking me to love it.

So even if it doesn't like me or treat me well,

I can greet that thought with the love that I am.

And I can love that thought,

Because that's mainly what it was lacking anyway.

Because when something loves itself,

It doesn't have a lot to say.

So busy loving.

So first,

I'm loving this body.

And then I'm loving the space of my mind and all of my thoughts.

I don't need a harsh relationship with my thoughts.

I don't need to be angry with my thoughts.

I can gently care for them without them taking my focus.

And then I can share it out to the entire space around me,

Which you also are.

And in that moment,

Just like a star in a supernova,

Which you are.

And I love me.

And I love my body.

And I love my mind.

I'm the space that can do it immediately.

Then the power of that alignment is like a supernova of a star.

And just like the universe expands from that,

It expands from the supernova that you create of loving you.

And there's nothing outside of its reach.

Because the flowers you walk past feel that.

And the trees that you walk past feel that.

And the people that you walk past feel that.

But most importantly,

You feel that love for yourself.

That love for yourself.

It's the only way to fill that void of love that you're looking for.

And when you tap that well,

It fills you and gushes out and fills the spaces that you're in.

And it's not hard to love you.

Just is.

And let's all,

Together,

Love ourselves.

And how easy it is to love one another when you love yourself.

Because there's so much,

There's so much love.

Just spills out.

And then we realize,

As we're breathing in and out,

That we're just sharing this abundance of love so easily to one another.

And there's plenty of it.

And it kind of grows.

As you get to know yourself in this space,

The spaciousness that you are,

The questions you have for yourself change.

It isn't a question of your worth or your value,

Or if you did this or you did that.

Is something right?

Or should you have done it this way?

And since that doesn't occur in this space,

What could occur here?

Who might you get to know that the you that is in this space can choose the feeling undertone that you would like for your life?

Not these little tones that are afraid,

That are thoughts,

That collect,

That are concerned about doing it right,

Or having that right person.

Now that tone's way out here in front of you.

But in the space that is you,

You get to choose what feeling undertone you'd like to live in as you begin to love these thoughts.

What feeling undertone would I like to be in as I face my day,

As I go to work,

As I come home and cook dinner,

As I wash clothes?

What feeling undertone would I like for my life?

And not to be whipped around by what thoughts come up today.

And there's all the synchronicities that function from this space that you can be in tune with.

And see,

No one can tell you who you're gonna meet in this space.

Only you can know that.

But the love language spoken here is always love for you.

And for any experience that you've had,

It's compassion and understanding.

And there's not a lot of words.

Because it's not trying to fix how you feel about yourself.

Because in this space,

It loves you and knows you.

You love you and you know you.

And then you can guide you to learn more and more about who you are and who you are not.

About who and what this vibration is.

What is this loving vibration that can look at everything about you and adore you?

And not try to make excuses or make things feel better.

Because it understands and knows.

And what vibration would have that kind of wisdom?

And what vibration can love others that way?

What kind of being can love absolutely?

What kind of guidance could a wisdom like this give to you in your life?

And you don't have to hope for it or have faith about it.

You can lean into it.

And it's you.

And you're not gonna fail you.

And what would you do if you weren't gonna ever fail you?

And that if you flopped while doing something,

It'd still love you.

What kind of being would you be?

And what kind of being is that?

That has the awareness and the consciousness to love like that?

That's not afraid of thoughts that aren't sure it's worthy.

What kind of being is not afraid of the thoughts of the mind?

What does that being know about itself?

What does that being interact with?

How does that being participate in life?

How does that person show up for you?

Because it's you.

And when you are aware of where you show up for you and you don't question you,

And that you can trust you to the point that you don't even need trust,

Because you are absolutely there for you.

What kind of being is beyond trust that doesn't even worry about trust?

That doesn't worry about confidence?

No.

That's who you are.

And this space will show you all that you are,

Which is way more than a little yappy thought.

It is way more than just a body.

Oh,

But it loves this body and it loves those thoughts.

It's not afraid of them.

And how joyful washing dishes can be from this space.

And how joyful cleaning out the cat litter box can be from this space.

How is it that you're able to move your hands?

Oh,

That's moving energy.

Well,

If I can move energy,

If I can embody a body and move the hand or have a thought that I don't have to be afraid of,

Who am I?

What star did I come from?

And what star did I just create in supernova?

And what star did I just create in the universe?

And in this vast universe where I am spacious,

What else am I doing?

And where else am I loving?

And what kind of being am I if I can love every part of me so easily?

What kind of mind or awareness am I if I can comprehend even a drop of this?

And I'm okay not knowing because getting to know me is gonna take lifetimes.

And I'm here for it.

I'm aware that this mind may never comprehend the being that I am.

And that's okay because the being that I am can love this mind that doesn't comprehend.

And it doesn't need it to comprehend.

And it's okay to not know the vastness of who I am.

But what a cool party to get to go and check it out and get to take in as much as I can and get to enjoy that life can be a pleasure.

That the feeling undercurrent of my life can be peace and love and joy and pleasure.

And when the challenges of life come or the Valentine's Day when it's a table for one,

Well,

Hell yeah,

I wanna be there.

I'm gonna be with me.

And on the days that it is challenging,

Why not face it with all that you are?

The one that you can deeply trust in that says,

If I pick the wrong thing or I pick the right thing,

I'm gonna be okay because I'm gonna love me and I'm gonna know I was doing the best I could.

So all my choices are the best that I can do.

And the universe around me is working out for my best interest.

Table for one because the table is with the one,

The one you've been looking for.