Quieting Our Loud Imposters + Inner Critics

A creative conversation on how we can quiet our loud imposters and inner critics enough to where they no longer completely disrupt how we respond or what we believe about ourselves. This talk also offers affirming and supportive tools, affirmations and practices to design the life you desire - one rooted in self-worth and enoughness.

Transcript

Hey creative,

Abundant community.

I hope you're entering this day with care and love.

I'm currently in Baltimore,

Resting in my home sanctuary,

Relaxing back on soft,

Sun-filled pillows.

My cat Nora is on the corner of my bed doing what cats do so well,

Napping as a form of pleasure and knowing she is worthy of all the rest her heart desires right now.

I can hear the cars moving through the city and people making their way around our neighborhood.

Today's conversation is on quieting our loud imposters and inner critics.

Before we get too deep into it,

Let's take a collective pause and share three breaths together.

Wherever you are,

Take a deep breath in,

Feeling the air fill your radiant body and slowly breathe out,

Releasing any tensions or undesirable thoughts you may be carrying.

Take another breath in,

Knowing that you are divinely supported at all times,

And slowly breathe out,

Letting go of anything taking you away from this moment.

One more deep breath in,

Sending gratitude to the creative energy moving through you right now,

And slowly breathe out,

Landing to be present in here right now.

All right,

I'm going to get into today's topic and offering.

It may be helpful to have something to write on and with,

Maybe your favorite journal as we're moving through.

So,

That pervasive,

Loud voice in our minds causing us to doubt our own capabilities.

We refer to it as imposter syndrome or the inner critic.

It's this fraudulent feeling many of us share,

Skewing the truth and often paralyzing our possibility for growth and joy.

They say high achieving and successful people experience this the most,

Though it's true that we've all been met with this feeling of being an imposter at some point in our lives.

I find myself wanting to better understand how do we recognize the triggers when they arise and what can we do when it gets there.

I was having a conversation with a dear friend the other night about this very topic and she mentioned wanting to get rid of imposter syndrome.

While I understand the desire to eradicate something that can still so much of our joy,

I'm more interested in us considering how we can build a relationship with it to the point where we're able to acknowledge its existence,

But quiet it enough to where it no longer completely disrupts how we respond or what we believe about ourselves when it shows up,

Because it will continue to show up.

Think about the last time you felt like an imposter presented itself,

What you heard it say and what may have caused it to rise up.

Was it the way someone criticized you with a phrase that never really lands well?

Did something or someone remind you of a past experience that made you feel small or inadequate?

Were you asked to create something and you went from being really excited to self criticizing?

There was a moment when the imposter hit me really hard.

It was just weeks leading up to my panel discussion at the 2019 Harvard Black in Design Conference on creating spaces for wellness and joy.

I was so pumped about this invitation,

Called my close friends,

My family,

I was dancing all around my living room.

That joy lasted for a while.

And then I started to question whether I belonged,

If I had enough to offer,

Or if I even deserved the invitation to speak.

It didn't help that when I shared the opportunity publicly,

There were some people asking me how I got the gig,

Instead of just saying,

Congratulations.

I had to get curious and creative to quiet my critical internal monologue rooted in childhood experiences where my gifts and offerings were never really celebrated or even acknowledged at home.

I decided to do a couple of things that may spark some ideas on how you can respond to the imposter the next time it shows up so that you can begin to hear another voice that's supportive,

Affirming,

And celebratory.

Okay,

So the first thing,

I brought out all of my living evidence to the contrary.

My accomplishments,

Praise from my loved ones over the year that I kept through letters and notes and gifts all around my home space.

And it gave me a new look.

I could look at my unique skills and gifts in a new way with a new perspective.

The second thing that I did was I designed a pocket-sized booklet,

Because I'm in love with tiny things,

That I could carry with me to the conference.

It had a congratulations Denise on the cover and open up to all of my panel questions that I could reference for notes when I got nervous.

And each day there was space for me to reflect on how I was entering and ending the day.

And I wrote affirmations inside,

Things like your presence and your perspective are valuable.

What you have to say and share matters,

And find your joy in the process.

I promise it's there.

I even made a tiny pocket folder for the booklet to go in that included tangible reminders of what led me to that exact moment and opportunity.

So there's no question about it.

In the process of creating that for myself was absolutely healing.

And guess what,

The topic of imposter syndrome came up on the panel from the audience,

And I was able to share my creation that gave inspiration to others who were also navigating these feelings of not being or doing enough.

I saw that not only was I not alone,

But how the power of using our creativity to build new ways of relating to our inner critics was a tool that could bring us back to believing in our brilliance.

Someone who's absolutely worthy of every opportunity that we receive.

Entering these days ahead,

I invite you to take the time to examine your life as living evidence of your inherent worth in enoughness.

I want you to get curious and creative so that you might hear the voice of your inner supporter who's sitting right beside the critic and still find yourself celebrating an undeniable shine that belongs in this world.

Getting your journal,

Spend some time reflecting on these questions.

What loud and posture monologues do you hear the most?

List them out and reflect what may be the triggers.

Show your environments,

Relationships,

Culture,

Gender,

Race,

And any anxieties rooted in the past and the future.

What do you hear?

And then I want you to list living evidence of your experience,

The praise you've heard through the years,

The ways you've grown,

And all the things that makes you unique and creative.

What do you hear now?

I want you to continue taking time to listen and building upon your list of living evidence that affirms and celebrates who you are.

I'm going to leave you with some words,

A mantra that you can repeat to yourself.

Like your breath,

You can return to these words at any time.

I am enough,

Capable,

And for real.

My contributions hold value,

And I am worthy of all that I receive.

Now take one more breath in,

Trusting that you have everything that you need,

And slowly breathe out,

Becoming a step closer to designing and practicing the life that you desire.

Thank you so much for coming through and joining me in this conversation.

I'm going to leave you with a parting prompt as well.

I want you to create something that can live as a life-affirming and supportive gift to yourself during times of inner and outer doubt.

Keep it for yourself,

Or share with people who celebrate you.

We'll be in community again soon.

Take care and be well.

Reviews

Relatable and well done. Encouraging and affirming. Ty

Grounding, insightful, resourcing. Thank you for you. 🙏🏼

Thank you for sharing your experience. It is a valuable gift.

Thank you for the mantra and prompt. What a gift. <3

Thank you. I fall into the high achiever but never feeling good enough group. I will save this to listen to often.

This was a really helpful talk, especially the prompt questions. It was a great way to counteract those voices of doubt.

What a great idea to create something to remind ourselves! Thank you!

A lovely sweet start. Leading into true and real awareness of the imposter with kind example and guidance.

Yes! I needed that bad! You have an easy voice to listen to & I love mini things too! Thank you! 💖

I love this style of meditation. I wish there were more of them.

So exactly right. Cheers to all those with a lot venof small things. Thank you. This helped my heart.

So helpful, encouraging and authentic. I loved this and am inspired to try tiny things too.

Beautiful. Thank you for this practical but highly enlightening advice

So Beautiful! ThankYou.
Will return to this as medicine
for 💜 n’ Soul.

I really appreciate the insight you gave in this meditation.

So happy I listened to your talk. I felt like we are sharing friends.

Amazing and very positive practicle advice for identifying your imposter thoughts and squashing them right away with positive reinforcements
Thanks so much for sharing
Namaste 🙏🏽
JuneB

It was amazing! Thanks

Beautiful words of wisdom.

This was wonderful. Just the pep talk I needed right now. Thank you.