On Dating And Being Needy

This share offers insight on processing and understanding one's right to have needs in an intimate relationship. It affirms the importance of clarity you require and desire and also provides some guidance on how to get there.

Transcript

As another relationship bites the dust,

I'm reaffirming the needs and desires that I refused to make compromises on because that would be compromising myself,

My value,

My worth.

It took years for me to believe that it's okay to lift up standards that support mutual liberation because I had to recover from a gaslighting relationship that deeply damaged my sense of self-worth and made me feel like what I needed was too much to ask for.

What I know for sure now,

I'm not needy.

I'm absolutely clear on what I'm worth,

And my heart is thanking me for it.

This is a piece on dating and being needy.

One thing that I will always remember from a book that I read years ago is that we are only as needy as our unmet needs.

Don't let these limited lovers have you out here thinking you're doing too much,

Asking for too much,

Needing too much.

Clarity on what you require to be in a pleasurable,

Healthy,

And mutually liberating partnership is power.

The more you fine-tune with precision,

The closer you'll get to a true,

Full alignment and reflection of your value.

So,

Create that detailed list of embodied qualities,

Experiences,

And energies you want to bring into existence and design with someone.

Imagine what it would feel like,

Look like.

Keep it close.

Even when you find yourself wavering and start dating someone who doesn't embody those essential qualities for whatever reason,

Be gentle with yourself and trust that you'll come closer next time because you're doing the work.

You'll start to see how each partner is more aligned than the previous one as you get better at honoring each part of your desires without self-compromise.

You aren't needy.

You're absolutely clear on what you're worth,

And your heart will thank you for it.

Reviews

I absolutely love this short talk. It reminds me of the quote from The perks of being a wallflower, people accept the kind of love they THINK they deserve.

Thank you SO much for this gift! One failed relationship after another caused me to give up. Earlier this year I surprised myself and allowed a man into my life. It lasted 2 months. He said I was "too needy." I've carried that weight of confusion and hurt that he caused me when he said that for the last 6 months. THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ME!!!

Wahat a simply direct, affirming, confident message. It comes through loud and clear. 🙏

Thank you, a great way to see things

This is really helpful for me. Thank you. I need to listen again to really take it in. I feel like this meditation helps point out a path forward.

Thank you! As I am on a similar path, this is an important reminder and an acknowledgement that I am finally on the better path!

I felt a new sense of happiness upon hearing this

This talk has really really helped me see my worth I was in a toxic and narcissistic relationship for nine years and he have only just finished but now I am free and I know my worth even though he battered down my confidence and self-esteem I thank you for this talk it's maybe see I am worthy of more .. I have my soulmate out there 😍 blessings to you 🙏

Thank you for this short reminder 🙏 I’ve been working with the redefinition of what neediness actually means. And accepting that, yes! My needs are Okay, they aren’t something shameful to ignore or not ask to be reciprocated.

Thank you so much for this wonderful meditation - I’ll be coming back to it 💗

This was what I needed to hear 💜

Amazing information and reflection. Other peoples labels are not our business. Clarity of the heart is power. ❤️🔥💪🏼🙏🏼

Ah, just the reminder I’m needing as I’m going through relationship turmoil.

I absolutely loved this & didn't know I needed this talk until now. Thank you. 💓 I'm so grateful. I feel even happier than before & clearer on my values and what I want.

Im in a relationship with someone who is also on a healing path but i am the one who is talked about as easily overwhelmed, messy and it feels as though i am asking for too much when i speak my limitations. Its difficult for me to connect with someone who sees me this way when all i am trying to do is take good care of me. Use my voice. This small talk brought me a lot of light, thank you. It can sometimes feel like a whirlwind protecting and honoring your womanhood, your self and your heart. Its been relatively easy falling into the place of making myself wrong for not being more supportive of them rather than myself.

✨💚✨

Yes!!! 💖

So true. Thank you for your wisdom Denise

Thank you for the reminder💛

Thank you. Concise and powerful. I needed this encouragement.

Empowering short talk. I loved the statement that "you are only as needy as your unmet needs."