Before Moving On To The Next Thing

A conversation about the power of pausing after completing an experience and exploring ways to be present with yourself and your journeys before moving on to the next thing. Through an offering of six easeful practices, we'll pleasurably refuse to get caught up in productivity's urgency and savor the small/big journey's we've been on.

Transcript

Hey,

Dear community.

I'm sending you ease as you move through your day,

And I'm so glad you've arrived to this moment.

I'm currently in my Baltimore City home with the company of my sweet animal cat companion,

Nora.

So throughout this talk,

You may hear the sound of life happening around me,

Some other sounds that let us know we're alive and in company.

Right now,

We're here because you did a thing.

That thing could have been small,

Big,

Completely life-altering,

A miracle,

Even.

Whatever it was,

It's an incredible point on the path that meant something to you,

And it holds meaning.

When was the last time you really slowed down to be present with yourself in your journey of experiences before moving on to the next thing?

If it's been a while,

What has kept you away from that slowness and presence?

After beginning the year with a talk about my life's work,

It was my first talk after an intentional two-year pause on speaking gigs,

When it was over,

I felt myself itching to carry on with what was next.

I had just finished a fulfilling presentation that lit me up from the inside out.

I received such beautiful responses from the folks attending,

Yet there I was returning back to my desk to see what was coming up in my planner.

I really had to compassionately check myself for a few minutes,

Because even with my toolbox of restful soul care practices that bring me back to center,

I,

Too,

Can get caught up in our culture of productivity and urgency,

Temporarily forgetting how necessary it is to saturate myself in the pleasure of presence.

We pour so much of our hearts,

Time,

And energy into something we care about,

Whether it's giving a talk,

Completing a project,

Making a major life change,

Or meeting a goal.

And the moment itself,

When finished,

Can fade into the background of our lives in what feels like a second.

In the complexities of that fading,

There can also be these real feelings of grief,

Because what we've been working toward is no longer a part of our everyday energy or focus the way that it used to be.

I'm finding that one way to acknowledge what an experience gave to our lives and our existence is by making it a point to mark the moment in time and take delight in what has fully transpired.

Stretching time so we can really be with the fullness of those moments,

I believe,

Makes the milestones even sweeter.

The practices I'm sharing with you today have culminated over the years as I'm continuing to learn how to slow down and extend some real appreciation to my life's journey,

Even when our structures and systems want us to shift our attention to the grind.

Sometimes I move through all of the practices,

Kind of like a ritual,

In a rhythm and cadence that feels good for my capacity.

And sometimes I only need to focus on one practice,

And that too is more than enough.

I encourage you to find the rhythm and cadence that works best for you and your body.

I'll move through the six practices in ways to be present.

And as I'm sharing,

I encourage you to gather your favorite journal or notebook so you can make note of the ones that really resonate with you the most.

Maybe during the share,

You notice a sensation of excitement or even tension.

Whatever you feel and sense is so relevant because it's actually giving you some juicy,

Important data about what's longing to be practiced.

I invite you to pay attention to those sensations,

And we'll circle back at the end.

So number one,

Take a breath.

Take many breaths.

Take whatever number of breaths you need in order to rest in what you're choosing to celebrate.

Breaths are these sacred,

Life-affirming openings that we can begin with as we honor our unfolding with ease.

So breathe.

Wherever you are,

Take a deep breath in,

Feeling the energy of brilliance moving through you and around you.

And slowly breathe out,

Softly landing with presence.

Number two,

Remember the journey from seed to bloom.

Recalling details of any pivots,

Illuminations,

Pains,

And pleasures.

This could be through meditation,

Writing,

Or even visualizing your journey through mediums like collage or illustration.

I find that a combination of both the written and visual really stirs up vivid recollections that we can always come back to.

So play.

Get creative with how you can remember the journey you've been on.

Number three,

List how it felt in your body and inner landscape for you to move through that experience.

I love looking to the body sensations list created by Minachi,

Author of Decolonizing Nonviolent Communication.

The list she created includes colors,

Textures,

Temperatures,

And other words that guide us to identify sensations in the body and includes words like lukewarm,

Expansive,

Floaty,

Harmonious,

Amber,

And clarifying.

It's a true gem when you want to stay in tune with your interiority and really practice communicating from a place of somatic awareness.

Number four,

Express gratitude to yourself,

To the Earth,

To your animal companions,

And to the folks in your life present and ascendant who share in the journey and offer their loving guidance and support.

Explore how expressions of gratitude may take shape for you,

Like creating a handwritten thank you note,

Placing flowers on your ancestral altar,

Or the sweetness of speaking someone's love language.

Maybe an invitation to share in quality time is exactly what someone needs to feel just how grateful you are.

Number five,

Allow your beloved community to celebrate you.

I talked about this in a previous talk,

And it's an opportunity to notice how it feels to be receptive to their expressions of love,

Attention,

And appreciation.

When you hear others celebrate you,

Reflect those words back to yourself,

And let your inner selves and your inner critics know that you receive them and you believe them.

Dora Kamau,

Another teacher on Insight Timer,

Offers a beautiful framework for this practice called I Receive That.

So consider looking up her teachings after this talk.

It's such a gift,

A beautiful,

Beautiful gift.

And the last for now,

To be present before moving on to the next thing.

Number six,

Name something you want to remember about this moment and how you want to remember it.

We can be held by the little legacies we're building day to day in real time.

That can be documented in joyful ways,

Through audio notes,

Journaling,

Photos,

Rituals,

Storytelling,

And beyond.

Sierra King,

Who stewards the memory work lab called Build Your Archive,

Is someone I look to when I want to learn these embodied memory gathering practices.

Through documenting,

We're reminded of the stories that live within our non-linear timelines,

A collection of the ways we've lived.

So my dear community and friends,

To summarize,

We can take a breath,

Remember the journey,

List how it felt,

Express gratitude,

Allow celebration,

And name what you want to remember and how.

I'm so curious,

Out of the six,

Which practices resonate with you the most?

What can you see yourself doing the next time you're met with the end of an experience that really matters to you?

And as always,

I welcome your shares in the comments.

I love hearing how these topics and practices connect with your life.

As you continue moving through your day and your days ahead,

May you savor in the delight and pleasure of now,

This time,

This mark on your path.

I'm in awe of how you're choosing to be with that sweet space between an ending and new beginning,

Slowly and with intention.

Your experiences are worth the pause for a well-deserved reflection and celebration,

Unattached to productivity and always rooted in deep care.

Thank you for coming through.

We'll be in community again soon.

Take care.

Be well.

Reviews

I always Journal when I take trips. This was a wonderful conformation and reminder ❤️

Your teachings resonate deeply with me at a time when I am in between stories. They bring peace and assurance, and clarity. Thank you.

Thank you.

Number 2 was exciting for me 😊 Thank you for this!

Absolutely beautiful 😍 I will return. Much gratitude 🙏

Thank you for the wise suggestions Old Sou and the the sparkling yet concise content you so uniquely put forth. Namaste, Peace and Love my Sisters All Ways!

I've come through three major transitions in four months and have a longing to mark each of them. I've done a few of these ideas to some extent, but still have the urge for more.

Thanks for the ideas! I especially love the embodied practices; everything I created came through my body, so it's feels right to celebrate that way too! 🙏 💚 🕊

I’m grateful humble thankful Christian actor singer with courage and a purpose to inspire people amen and so it si

I really appreciated this talk and collection of practices to help take an intentional pause and process a milestone/accomplishment. The step about remembering the journey especially resonated with me; I liked the suggestion of the creative expressions, such as a collage. I would not have considered that before. The practice about allowing your community to celebrate you stood out to me as well. It's a great reminder to receive appreciation and embrace our wins as others recognize us.

Wonderful recommendations and a beautiful, soothing voice delivering the message. Thank you! 🙏

Resoundingly satisfying. I feel content and calm. Nga mihi maioha (thank you with appreciation from Aotearoa NZ) 🙏💙

Incredible. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I celebrate you!

A beautiful invitation/toolkit for moving though the space between, the interstice, with intention

Thank you, Gracias ♥️at the end my 3 year old walked in and it became so clear these are practices I want
To explore and try on around the stages and phases we have had together. What a gift . Thank you infinitely ♥️🙏🏽

Thank you! I really appreciated this talk. The last question really reasonated with me and allowed me to pause and check in with myself. I can get so caught up in the challenge that I forget that I’m actually doing the thing that is hard and extending gentleness to myself in the process. Thanks for this offering!