Self Awareness Pre Meditation Talk

Self-awareness is a practised ability that helps to see oneself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection. You are not your thoughts, but the being observing your thoughts; you are the thinker, separate from your thoughts. The process of Self-awareness is called self-evaluation or reflection. It allows us to ask why we act or react a certain way and how we can heal or embrace it. Listen to this for a deeper and more profound experience of my Self Awareness meditation.

Transcript

Welcome to Join the Dots podcast,

The podcast that explores the motivations of our actions and why we react the way we do.

Brought to you by soul coach Denise Jarvey from Inward Revolution.

In a safe,

Inclusive space full of meaningful discussions for reflection and transformation.

As you listen,

Feel uplifted,

More clever and more clear about decision making.

Let's go within.

To be self aware is to be able to step back and reflect and realise that your thoughts are not who you are.

What you think is not who you are,

It is just what you are thinking.

We have amazing minds.

Our minds are phenomenal because they can help us to discern many things and create many things,

Bring in new ideas.

When you think about the way we look at all sorts of things through our senses,

Through our physical senses,

We take that information and then we connect the dots and we work through it and we can come to every individual on this planet can come to a different conclusion based on the way that they put the input together.

So it's just phenomenal when we our minds are amazing and we need our minds we need our ego,

Because the ego is the observer of life.

It is the part of us that splits off from us.

Otherwise,

We would not realise that we were an individual.

You know how animals don't realise it's them in the mirror?

If we didn't have an ego,

We would not be able to discern ourselves to be something different to anything else in the environment.

So we wouldn't be able to individualise ourselves.

That's probably the best.

That's what an ego is.

And the ego is the observer of life.

It's observing things through the mind.

And we don't want to get rid of the ego.

We don't want to push it down,

Tell it it's wrong.

We just want to use it with all the other discerning parts of our mind and our awareness to help us take the path of least resistance and to know who we are.

Not who we think we are,

But who we truly are.

And so,

But what tends to happen because the ego of course comes from the intellect and from the mind because it's observing and all the input is going into the mind.

We tend to hand our power over to it because society is very mind orientated.

We're not so much heart orientated.

And I spoke about that last week because other people can't see what's going on inside of us.

We don't tend to think it's as real as what's going on on the outside.

Once these feelings come out,

So if people cry or if people have act out with their,

Then we can label it as a mental health issue.

Then people are seeing the suffering and the pain on the outside and then somehow it feels more real,

Which is probably one of the reasons why people act out and play out as well and why their anger comes out and things come out because in here,

It doesn't feel real.

We can feel it,

But it doesn't feel real.

It doesn't seem real until it is out there.

And then it's like,

You know,

See,

I was in pain.

See how much I'm hurting.

See,

I do have a mental health issue.

So it's really quite interesting when you step back and begin to look at the way that people act out things in their life.

Once it comes out,

And we often say this,

Better out than in.

However,

It might be better out.

But unless we do the work inside of us,

It's just going to keep coming out like that.

It's going to be a volcano each time.

It's just going to have this explosion that just flows out of us.

So we want to be able to come in and recognise ourself instead of waiting for it to blow up and then say,

Okay,

Now I need to do something about it.

We want to be inside of ourselves.

So awareness facilitates introspection,

And the capacity to recognise oneself as an individual,

Which is pretty much what the ego is separate from the environment and others,

And that it is okay for us to feel the way we feel.

It's okay for whatever goes on inside of us.

We just have to step back and decide whether what's going on inside of us feels good.

Or it doesn't feel good,

Because if it doesn't feel good,

It's going to be somebody else's belief.

It's not going to be your own.

Because the reason that it feels bad is because it's butting up against the truth of you.

But if we keep saying,

But I believe that because somebody told me that often enough,

Or society told me that often enough,

We tend to keep hanging on to it.

We hang on to it because we think that we need it,

Because it's either going to make us feel safe,

Or it's going to make us feel like we belong,

Or it's going to make us feel like we're loved,

Or whatever,

That we fit in.

And so it's understanding that if something does not feel good in here,

It's not your truth.

That doesn't mean we just chuck it out.

Because there's a reason why we have it there.

And that's what self-awareness is,

Self-introspection.

It's okay.

What is this thing that is butting up against me?

And if it really hurts,

We can cry and we can have a hissy fit and do all of those things.

But then we have to do the work,

If you want to call it.

It's not really work because it's actually freeing ourself.

I just don't quite know what else to call it.

Because a lot of people will say,

Oh,

I don't want to go in there.

It feels like too hard to work.

However,

It always sets you free.

And to know yourself,

This is what mastering yourself means.

This is what becoming a master means.

That you become aware of everything that is going on.

And you decide whether we embrace it or whether we just leave it on the path.

If we're not quite sure,

Well,

Then we just have to look at why we're hanging on to it.

What is it feeding in us?

What is it giving us that we don't feel that we're getting from anywhere else?

How is it making me feel safe?

Why do I feel I really need to hang on to this idea or this person or this belief?

This culture?

Many things that we tend to think that makes us who we are.

Of course,

We are who we are.

We're not any of those things.

That's just the way we're choosing to look at the world and live from that place as well.

So self-awareness allows you to know what your body,

Mind and spirit require to live a fulfilling life.

Self-awareness is helping you to understand what is true for you.

It's helping you to feel what's true for you.

It's helping you to know that so that you can give your attention to that instead of the things that push your buttons.

If something's pushing a button,

It's not your truth,

But it's still something inside of you that you're hanging on to.

And so self-awareness gives you the ability to then say,

OK,

That feels off.

That's not me.

So what's going on in here?

What am I hanging on to?

What toxic belief or idea have I got inside of me?

And so from there,

We can then start to recognize patterns and cycles and things.

But we won't go into that today because it's just this is just about really just observing the self.

This is just realizing that it is having the ability to just be discerning about what we think about,

Where we put our focus,

Where we put our action,

Because,

You know,

Most people on on a daily basis don't even think about it.

They just let their mind go to whatever is in front of them.

Whatever is there,

Whatever comes into their environmental space.

That takes their attention and that's what they react to.

And that is really us being a slave to what's going on around us.

And then we say,

Oh,

But everything around us has to be nice for me to feel good.

So that's like,

Oh,

People grow up because there's always going to be stuff going on around us that we don't like.

There's going to be stuff going on around us that we do like.

And and it's everything's right in this world to be there.

We can't say that's now got to go away or that's got to go not go away.

It's like,

You know,

I just need everything to be nice around me.

Greg has taught me to really be much more self-aware of the way I react.

There are times,

Of course,

When I just want to punch him.

But that's my own frustration because I'm expecting something to be a certain way in my environment and it's not.

So then I have to ask myself,

Why do I feel that?

And of course,

For me,

It's like,

Well,

The relationship needs to be a certain way for me to feel loved.

OK,

So why?

And so if we keep looking at those things and we go deeper and deeper and you keep saying that we're like a three year old,

Two year old,

Why,

Why,

Why?

However,

Socrates said an unexamined life is not worth living because it's not because we don't really know who we are.

Now,

This is not about analyzing.

This is just about holding yourself accountable for what you're thinking,

For what you're feeling and not blaming anyone else for it.

Because,

Of course,

Everything comes from us.

Every reaction comes from us.

Nobody makes us nervous.

We make ourselves nervous.

Nobody really hurts us.

We allow ourselves to be hurt because of expectations of others.

So all of these,

Of course,

All of our interactions and all of our experiences help us to understand ourselves more.

And so it's not like we don't want to react to things either,

Because that's helping you to understand where you're holding yourself away from you.

But it's OK,

It's part of the process.

It's part of the sorting and sifting of life.

It's not that you've done something wrong and something bad is happening to you either.

If we didn't experience difficult things,

We wouldn't understand what we truly wanted with joy.

We know the joy of dogs,

To see dogs going outside and running around or putting their heads out the window of a car.

You know,

We see that absolute joy in a dog.

However,

They need to rest from that.

Because if they did that all the time,

It wouldn't mean anything.

And that's the same for us.

We then need to move away from things,

Experience something else and experience things to weigh things up to see what it is that we do truly,

Truly want as well.

So we don't really want to live in joy all the time.

We don't really want to live in a peaceful environment all the time,

Because that's not how life is created.

But what we want to be able to do is take that middle path through life and understand that these things are always going to be there.

And we can look and experience things,

But then not take them personally.

So self-awareness.

So basically,

Self-awareness is how an individually consciously knows and understands his own,

His her character,

Feelings,

Motives and desires.

So until we really take stock and look at ourselves and become self-aware,

We don't really know what makes us tick.

We think we do.

When we get nice things happen to us,

We go,

Oh,

I like this.

I want more of this.

But we don't really understand why it's making us tick.

Because if we don't understand why,

We can't create more of the same thing,

Because it all just becomes willy nilly.

And and again,

We're then just a slave to our environment.

And we just hope that nice things keep happening to us.

Oh,

Fate will bring us nice things,

Apparently,

Because or it's my destiny to be happy.

And it tends to you hand your power over to something outside of yourself.

And we can't be in control of what is going on.

However,

You can know how you're going to react.

And again,

That's what self-awareness is about.

Something to remember to that desire creates self-awareness.

So desire is the want of something.

So something goes on in our life.

We go through a difficult time and we go,

Actually,

That person was really not very nice to me.

I want nicer people in my life.

I want to have nicer interactions in my life.

That is a desire.

Something has just occurred that has created a new desire and desire then creates self-awareness.

So a desire creates a road map towards towards self-awareness.

It opens your heart.

So open your heart and tune into the feeling of it.

And so that's why we need desires.

That's why I always ask people,

What do you want in life?

What is it that you truly want?

But,

You know,

Most people will say,

I don't want to dream until I've got the money or until I've got stuff in front of me,

Which,

Of course,

Is just going to keep you in this perpetual pattern of nothing is stuck in this place and nothing's really going to shift.

What do we desire?

What do we truly want?

You don't have to tell anybody.

You don't have to let anyone else know.

And I would always say,

Don't tell anyone until you're sure with something yourself anyway.

We need to be able to work towards something.

Now,

This is not so much goal orientated as well either.

This is about the feeling.

How do you want to feel when that thing arrives in your life?

And so how do you think you'll feel?

Because in the end,

We only ever want things because we think we'll feel better when that thing arrives or when that person arrives or when or whatever.

Understanding that it's not a goal.

It's not I'll be happy when I get there.

It's like,

How do I want to feel in my life?

That's what desire is.

I want to feel easier.

I want to feel more excited and fulfilled.

And but,

You know,

Actually,

I'm feeling that now and I can feel that now.

It's understanding how you want to feel and then allow that to be the desire or the don't like the word goal,

Because goal.

When we say the word goal,

We automatically think we have to get to it and we have to experience it.

And if we don't,

We fail.

The other thing for me is if you do get there and you do experience,

It's almost like ticking a box and then that's it.

But I think what I'm learning is like Abraham says,

You never stop creating and you'll never get it done.

And of course,

That goal sort of brings you to this place here.

Now you're going to create a life from a new foundation,

A new base,

And you want something else.

And then you want something else and then you want something else.

And so it's it's but some help somewhere in the human mind.

It's like I'm never going to be satisfied.

And also,

When I say to people,

You've got to find a way to be happy now on your way to getting the things that you want.

There's something else that goes on in people's mind like,

Oh,

Yeah,

But but if I just put it out there that I'm happy and the universe will go,

Oh,

Well,

That's all right.

She doesn't need any stuff.

There is this idea that if we look too happy,

Nothing's going to happen.

It's quite an odd thing that has gone on in us.

I think it has a lot to do with the suffering,

The idea that we need to suffer.

So,

Yes,

You're right,

We're never going to get it done.

However,

We're going to have some amazing experiences and create amazing things along the way.

And and we want to be joyous all the time.

And being joyous doesn't mean that things are not going to come to us.

And it's interesting because a lot of people,

Because I tend to be a bit that way,

I suppose,

Especially if I'm out with people,

I try not to be too miserable,

Even if I'm feeling sad.

And people just think you're OK all the time.

But you know what that tells me?

They are not aware of their own feelings,

Because if they can't pick up what's going on underneath,

Then they're only looking at the surface.

It's only the superficial stuff,

Because people who really know me know when something is off.

Now,

I'm not saying that they have to prod and pick at me,

But it's just being aware of things when you're around people.

I mean,

I'm very aware of how people feel,

What their energies are.

And as I've got older,

I've learned how to deal with that.

I didn't deal with it very well when I was younger because nobody ever gave me anything to work with it.

And so I may blurt things out.

And in the end,

I just shoved it down because it seemed to make people very uncomfortable.

But I never had any guidance with that.

I never had anyone say,

Well,

What people feel might be quite different to what they say.

And they may not even be aware of it.

So,

Psychic development is about understanding your psychic senses and how to work with them.

It's not really about knowing what's happening in the future.

That's just a byproduct of it that's going to come anyway,

Because as you expand your awareness,

You become much more aware of what's going on around you.

And there are many tools that you can use to do that,

As in cards,

As in pendulums,

As in all sorts of different tools you can scry or write or do all sorts of things.

The tools,

However,

Are really just a way to get your mind out of the way.

It gives your mind something to do while you come into full alignment with you,

Which is actually when you're the best at reading everything around you.

So again,

This is all about self-awareness.

So why do we do anything the way we do it?

Really,

You know,

Until people really stop and question themselves,

They're just it becomes this outward expression to blame what's going on around them.

And it's very easy to do that because that's also sort of what we're taught to do.

It's their fault.

It's that person's fault.

It's that culture's fault.

When we become aware of something,

It moves from the unconscious part of us.

So,

You know,

When people say,

I don't know why I said that.

I don't know why I do that.

That's just who I am.

That's unconscious.

They are not self-aware of anything.

So when we become aware of something,

It moves from the unconscious.

So it moves from that not understanding,

Not knowing to the conscious,

To the conscious mind.

Now you've made it conscious.

Now you have chosen to look at it and go,

Ah,

That's when we get those aha moments where you have a choice to change the story.

That begins to change the pathway of neurons in your brain.

Because,

Of course,

Neurons are the nerve cells that cluster together.

So for every story we have,

We have a cluster of neurons in our brain.

It's like this is this story.

This is that story.

So when you and that's what memories are.

That's how memories are created.

So when you that's triggered,

That part of your those neurons within your brain are fired and bang,

You get the story.

So we want to change if that's not working for us anymore.

We want to change that.

We want to blow those neurons apart so that they then can create new pathways and new connections within the brain.

Now that happens with an aha moment or when people have those,

OK,

I get it.

I know I don't want to do this anymore.

I don't want to be like this anymore.

And that's amazing.

But unless now you step up,

Unless you become self-aware,

You step up and you keep that going.

What's going to happen is all those neurons,

All those little nerve cells are all going to come back together.

It's like they break apart.

It's like,

Yay,

At this aha moment.

And it's like then they start searching for new pathways.

But if there's nothing there,

They just eventually come back together and then you go back to that old way.

So when something is triggered in the outside,

Again,

This old pathway is lights up and that's what you think.

That's basically how the pathways are created in the brain.

And they're the things we want to shift.

They're the things we want to change.

Now,

Neuroplasticity means that we have the capacity to change.

It's moving,

It's shifting within our minds.

That's what the study of neuroplasticity is.

And it's just that it seems to be so easy to just things come back to the way they are because we are creatures of habit.

Because habit seems familiar.

Habit somehow seems to comfort us.

But we've got to get used to being uncomfortable because that uncomfortable space is only there for a short period of time.

And then greater things occur.

I mean,

That happens in the gym.

That happens when we're doing anything.

We've all experienced it.

It's like we know we have to go through a slightly uncomfortable period and then it just becomes habit and then things shift.

But of course,

Again,

That's self-awareness and it's not going,

Oh,

But it's not fear.

I don't want to feel that or I should be able to eat whatever I want.

And because that's the wingy child in us as well.

So we're always comfortable and we're always safe.

So many people use this awareness as a way to talk about the issues in a more sophisticated way.

I cannot tell you the amount of people over the years who have said,

Oh,

You know,

Yeah,

I have this issue and it makes me do this.

I had a girlfriend a long time ago who who said,

I act this way because I'm an alcoholic.

It's like,

Yeah,

OK,

So are you actually going to do anything about it?

No,

It's just just going to create that same behavior over and over again and then say,

Oh,

It's not my fault because I'm an alcoholic.

So it's blaming something outside of herself,

Even though it's her doing it.

So many people use awareness,

As I said,

To talk about the issues in a more sophisticated way.

And that's when we have to realize that sometimes talking therapy isn't it's not so much it isn't for everyone because it's great to be able to talk about things.

But we only want to talk about them once to a therapist or to someone.

They've got the story now.

They know stop repeating the story because you're just firing up those neurons to come together at the same story again.

And we want to create new pathways.

And so that's where talking about the same thing over and over and over again doesn't work.

We have enough evidence now to say that it doesn't work because it just holds people in counseling for years and years.

And we don't want that.

We want to be able to get in,

Help people to shift things so that they can create the life they want to create.

But somehow we've made ourselves dependent on somebody like we have with everything else.

I have an issue and I'm dependent on somebody else.

It's AA,

You know,

Doesn't matter how for how many years do you go to a meeting,

An AA meeting,

You're always an alcoholic.

And it's like,

Well,

That's a great way to keep reminding yourself of that and then keep beating yourself up about that.

And so it's like we want to do the work,

But then move on from the work.

I don't smoke anymore because I don't even think about it.

But I wouldn't call myself a non-smoker and I wouldn't call myself a smoker.

I just choose not to do that today.

But I don't even think about it.

And so you don't need to be reminded,

You know,

I today I am a smoker who hasn't smoked today because then I'm going to start thinking about cigarettes.

And so we just want to be able to live a life free of of those things.

So we don't want to be talking about the same things.

And then because we use it as a way to explain our behaviour away to other people as well.

I'm here because of this.

I'm in this bad mood.

In this perpetual bad mood because of this thing that happened to me 20 years ago.

When something is a mood,

It will eventually just become part of your everyday life and will become part of your personality and you become cranky or angry.

And if you say to people,

Why are you so angry all the time?

They'll go,

I don't know.

That's just who I am because it's a practice belief.

And again,

It's about being self-aware.

So be aware of the stories that you're telling yourself,

Even if they are funny.

We all have these funny stories that we might tell at dinner parties.

But just be aware.

Do you really want that in your life anymore?

You know,

However funny or justified they are,

You're keeping them alive and they will feed your beliefs and values.

So and just as a quick aside,

Your stories are what you tell yourself and what we tell others.

If we keep telling the same stories over and over again and whatever it is,

They become beliefs.

And eventually your beliefs become your values.

And your values then your values just slip behind everything.

You've created this these clusters of neurons in your brain.

And then the automatic nervous system will just automatically have you behaving in a way to fulfil your values.

And it will bring things into your life to do that as well.

So in summary of that,

Your story will code your beliefs.

Your beliefs will determine all incoming information.

What you see and think,

Which will then build your values,

Which will determine what you pursue or retreat from.

People often say to me,

I don't know why I do the things I do.

Well,

Get to know yourself.

Ask yourself,

What are my values?

Some people don't want to look at their values too closely because they're not sure what that means for them.

Or it might make them feel uncomfortable because somebody's value may be I need money.

I need an enormous amount of money.

Otherwise,

I'm not going to survive.

And people might be embarrassed of that.

But again,

We don't need to tell anyone.

We just need to be aware of it ourselves.

So anyway,

I've waffled on enough today,

But it just felt important to talk about self-awareness.

And so today we're going to do a little meditation that just connects us to a higher self to help us.

And so we can see ourselves through the eyes of our higher self,

Of our angels,

Guides,

Light beings,

And see yourself through their eyes.

And you'll be able to get a clearer picture of your personality on the on the planet.

But,

You know,

In the end,

Words aren't really that important.

This is about the feeling.

And if you go somewhere else,

That's OK as well.

If you don't,

That's OK.

Whatever happens is OK.

It's what's needed for you today.

And you're here.

So you're already self-aware.