Avoiding Depression And Burn Out From Stress

We all know about burnout, but no one seems to know when we've reached it until we're headed for depression.

In this lively personal talk Dehlia breaks down the very beginning signs of stress and burnout at work. She offers 3 "tip" to address the problem. And no- one of them is NOT quit your job.

Transcript

It's me again,

Dilia Bates,

Teacher,

Coach,

And professor living out here in the beautiful state of Maryland,

Here in the United States.

Today's topic is spotting and dealing with burnout before depression settles in.

Why have I decided to talk about the early stages of burnout?

Because it is my wish that anyone who hears this will do one or two of the things in this talk and avoid a full-on burnout situation.

The sooner we can get on top of the severe,

Unrelenting stress we're under day to day,

The sooner we can get help.

So now let's begin.

If you've ever been on a team or part of a group or in a band,

Then you have experienced the power of being in a focused group with a similar agenda.

Everyone in the group brings their individual talents and without giving up any part of themselves learn to let others in and learn from them while they too let us in and learn from us to reach heights and enjoy successes that we never thought we'd be able to reach on our own.

Does this describe your workplace?

If it does,

That's phenomenal.

But all too often we are seeing less and less of this ideal in our job market.

It starts with a tenuous feeling in the pit of your stomach and her name is uncertainty.

Maybe your supervisor who used to always say hello to you in passing stops acknowledging you right before starting,

Right before a coming review that you think is routine.

Or you get to work and somebody is standing near your desk to see when you've come in with a clipboard.

Or you go and ask for help with someone and after getting the help a supervisor comes to follow up to make sure that you're okay because you were just asking for help,

Weren't you?

You try to brush it off but you can't and that voice does not go away.

That is not your inner saboteur,

Dear listener,

But the start of something far more insidious,

Uncertainty.

At first you'll feel like you're paranoid.

It's not like anyone's told you your work is bad or that you need to change anything significant but something is definitely off.

It's like you left work one day and returned to someplace completely different the next day.

I remember when I came in on a Monday after spending half of the previous Friday working in the field away from the office.

When I returned on Monday a gleeful administrator told me bright and early that I had been moved to a new cubicle by the huge window in the back.

What he knew and I knew and everyone working there knew that it was a cubicle near one of the nosiest supervisors in the office.

Our cubicles at the time had one side that was glass and he liked to spend his time peering through the glass in his cubicle through what whoever was on the other side of the glass across from him all day staring at in this case me.

The last guy who sat there had just resigned and left.

No one wanted his office.

Not only did this particular supervisor stare for hours on end,

This guy was like a camel.

He rarely took bathroom breaks.

He also sighed continuously and did very little but sit and stare.

He was able to get away with this for over 30 years because I was told that he would keep up with others by coming in early on the weekend.

He would work all day while the rest of us were enjoying our weekend hopefully and on Monday he would return to his desk for more staring.

Remember when businesses were keen on doing more work with less people?

We were told that for a time everyone would be expected to tighten their belts until well just tighten your belts.

Think of how much better things would be if we all worked a little bit harder.

A self-professed workaholic asked me excitedly being a career workaholic she felt like this was her time to shine and anyone who did not share this view was clearly lazy and not doing our profession a service.

That was directed at me dear listener.

We haven't been as close since.

It would seem instead of increased efficiency we've accelerated faster toward job dissatisfaction.

In higher cases of depression there's no doubt that as a workplace our flow has been interrupted.

Moving forward in an inspired way is currently referred to as flow a concept introduced by a man with a PhD in psychology whose name is spelled M I H A L Y last name C S I K S Z E N T M I H A L Y I.

I am spelling it because I refuse to do him the dishonor of butchering his name.

According to Dr.

C the number one reason people hate their jobs is not lack of pay or lack of benefits but that someone is forcing them to concentrate on things that they don't see as important.

Many a workplace is guilty of this.

More and more time is spent on forms resulting in meetings that leads to more forms which then lead to more meetings and this is in addition to the work you were hired to do.

What leads to even more lunacy is when you are seen at your desk constantly filling out these ridiculous forms instead of doing what you were hired to do it is then suggested almost like a secret that you must be desperate to hear that many people are staying after work to complete the forms are taking them home.

So the work day is not wasted on forms and the like and the real work can continue during your clocked in hours.

So now not only are you being forced to concentrate on something you hate to do at your job something that is already taking you away from the work you love but you're being asked to drag the forms and your mounting resentments home to your spouse and children and we all know that that's not the end because sometimes when you get home there are things you are forced to concentrate on there as well that you'd rather not.

You can't see how to make time for privacy anymore.

Privacy earned through work free vacations a work week mini date with your spouse meditating playing a team sport or exercise for health and pleasure.

This results in even more resentment.

It builds until you start looking for an escape and worse yet is how this is affecting our newest workers under the age of 30.

Now I'm not talking about opioids.

I'm talking about something that when they take illegally right now they are rewarded far more for using then they should be and that is the abuse of attention deficits medications.

These prescription drugs allow some to stay up 15 to 20 hours so that they can outwork the person in the next cubicle.

This can lead to heart problems nervousness and paranoia before you even hit 30.

When people overwork sleep is often also the first to go and lack of sleep while pumping your body with any non prescribed drug is damaging to the body which will eventually start to wreck itself like you're already wrecking your soul.

So if this is happening to you where do you start?

Now before I go any further I am not telling you to quit your job.

I do not know your exact situation.

There are people whose situations I do know and I would not tell them to quit their job either.

Real talk it's none of my business.

People are grown and need to work out solutions for themselves.

But if you would allow me I do have a few things you can do to maybe give you some perspective as that creepy man at work continues to peer through the glass at you from 830 to 430.

And for those of you wondering yes he stared at men too.

Number one spend time with an honest friend.

I'm not just talking about any friend or your spouse.

My spouse is great but he's not exactly objective when it comes to advising me.

My husband thinks I'm quite clever and if I make any decision he figures is probably the right one.

While this is supportive I too sometimes need someone that knows how to build me up while giving me that swift kick in the pants that I need.

What we want is that self professed truth machine the friend that some others don't want to be around because even if they don't always say it they smell bull crap from a mile away.

That's who we need.

I want you to see this person and tell them your situation and remind them that you need to hear the truth and they will give it to you.

Trust me this is their time to serve and they have been waiting for this day.

Two if you'd prefer to not talk to a friend talk therapy or coaching is also open to you.

Many jobs offer sessions for free but if you are not comfortable with what your job is offering most insurances insurances will let you see somebody for your regular copay.

If that doesn't work there are still free services that will help you find the path for you.

If you have been mentally or physically damaged while performing your job general anxiety depression fail at falling results resulting in injury insomnia joint pain due to repetitive motion then you need to see a doctor to assess the situation.

A good general practitioner can get you started on the treatment plan.

If you don't have a general practitioner urgent care centers have some wonderful doctors who are proficient at diagnosing a host of issues and many clinics have medications right in the back so you don't have to make another trip to the pharmacy on the way home.

Three your phone can always give you on demand meditation.

Much of it for free.

Many sites also have sales bringing their rates down below $50 a year.

Meditation is a great way to start finding yourself again and yes you do have time for it.

I've heard people give effective guided meditations in under a minute.

I hope these words are beneficial to you.

I hope these words have inspired you and helped you move forward.

And oh yeah just in case you were wondering that cubicle in the back the fishbowl where I was the fish.

I went to pick up a friend for lunch after I got another job and a group got together there after I left and made it into a greenhouse for the greenest most beautiful plants you've ever seen.

Plants that don't usually flourish in offices because they need so much sun and light but in that transformed cubicle they are thriving sunning themselves even in the winter.

Oh and what about that staring supervisor?

He was moved into his own office before retiring soon after.

Thank you so much for listening.

I know you have that friend and so do I.

So let's do this together.