Hello,
Dylia Bates here,
Teacher,
Coach,
And professor.
Today I'd like to talk to you about avoiding depression after job loss.
So you're out of work.
Who knows why it happened?
It happened.
In addition to the justifiable firings and resignations that generally take place,
There are upticks in people that are unfairly and unlawfully dismissed right now in every state,
Regardless of race or circumstance.
What's worse is there's new evidence that people are being ghosted after what they perceive to be great interviews.
More and more hiring personnel are finding it acceptable to move forward with the hiring process while candidates wait for a decision that never comes.
And educated people are having to turn to and lean on hustle jobs longer than they have in the past.
All these things are happening.
And since the COVID shut down,
The job market has become more ruthless than ever.
At this moment in time,
However,
It is not so important how your employment ended as the fact that it has ended.
It is also proven that the brain is not conducive to sudden changes and right now a big one has occurred.
Even if the separation was planned,
It's still a separation.
During this time,
Number one,
Be kind to yourself.
Think about it this way.
What physically happens in the body when something is surgically removed?
Think about the recovery time that you need to undergo.
Consider the medical staff and friends and family that surround you and help you even when the procedure is outpatient.
Well,
What you're mentally going through right now is not an outpatient procedure.
You were under general anesthesia and will require physical and mental therapy before you can move on.
This is how your separation should be mentally processed.
It was a welcome separation,
You say?
So is the removal of a tumor,
I'll respond and add along with now proper recovery is still in order.
You are not fooling anybody.
The body and mind are aware that a severe change has occurred.
And if you feel that initial elation,
You will not have to wait long before the reality of the situation to crystallize.
But be as honest as possible with what's going on,
Not just with yourself,
But then also with your direct family member support team at home.
Was it a situation where you felt like you had no choice but to leave?
Well then you've been liberated.
Take that smile with you when you inform your loved ones of your decision.
Take that positivity with you when you apply for jobs.
Be nice to the receptionist,
Dress smart for any interviews.
Remember,
You have been brave in the face of adversity.
This makes you a great candidate for any savvy employer.
They want the type of person that shows initiative in the face of adversary,
Right?
Well that would be you.
Show them by your confidence and by adding a little color to your shirt or blouse,
Whatever they can see through the zoom screen,
That you are lively and not dwelling in the past.
You are ready for a new beginning.
Let them feel that energy.
For a long time now,
People are switching jobs with greater frequency.
Many are doing this in order to have more comfortable work-life balance,
But at a salary that still provides premium benefits.
Benefits that hustle jobs simply do not provide.
We all know that this type of job most likely will not surface right away.
The good news is your partner has most likely been there too.
They've probably also had their career ups and downs.
On top of this,
They know what makes you happy and no one wants to lose the one they love to toxicity and burnout.
No amount of money is worth you to them.
Speaking of people who are toxic.
Number two,
Stay away from people who are toxic.
Most of us are directly related to at least one person who is toxic,
But sometimes that person is inside of you.
Cue scary music while you inch closer to the bathroom.
Yes,
I'm referring to your inner critic.
Just now while writing this,
My own inner critic just told me,
No one wants to hear this,
Delia.
It's silly.
Well,
I have one thing to say to this disruptive,
Dissatisfied woman in my head.
Sit down and let the listeners decide.
You're just another straight thought.
Stop creating unwelcome feelings and step aside.
The truth is the mind has a negativity bias.
What this basically means is that it will go to a dark place very quickly.
So I like to have a plan in place for when this unhelpful voice gets too out of hand.
The plan is the following.
Imagine you're on a bus.
There are helpful voices,
Pragmatic voices,
Optimistic voices,
And loving voices.
Then there's her voice constantly trying to bring you down and slow the progression of the bus down the road.
So when I hear her pipe up in the front of the bus,
I simply tell her that there's a charcuterie board in the back of the bus.
She can enjoy some,
But only if she stays back there and remains quiet.
The charcuterie is not what it takes.
Then maybe I'll tell her there's some red wine back there or Manhattans or old-fashioneds.
For the daring among you,
Maybe there are some edibles.
For the sober among you,
Maybe you can tell her the last seat is the only seat with an installed massager.
Encourage her to take a nap.
All that nagging has got to be tiresome.
Whatever works,
Promise her,
Now is not her time to serve.
The point is to be prepared for her arrival.
Let her speak and then show her the setup you made just for her in the back of the bus.
Hear her out.
Then stay focused on what you have to do in the front of the bus.
There can only be one driver operating the bus at a time and that's you.
Your best self operating the bus.
That's part of where real happiness resides.
Not with more money or more stuff,
But with the knowledge that all the most important parts of you are doing their part to encourage you to be your best self.
You'll need to be your best self while interviewing and deciding what the best new job is for you.
Remember,
Right now it's essential that you remain positive.
So just for now,
Let that inner critic go.
Toxic people are excellent at waiting to have another round with you,
So let them wait.
Right now is your time to be rested and well so that when it's time to go back to work,
You'll be ready.
If you can manage the inner critic inside of you,
You can better manage the toxic people on the outside.
You have learned how to tell someone to take a hike while still maintaining both your dignities.
Thank you so much for listening today and allowing me to share in a vulnerable but exciting part of your life.
Remember,
Many resources can be grown in the earth or made in a factory,
But our citizens are our most precious resource.
That's you,
Dear listener.
Hang in there,
Take care of yourself,
And don't forget to reach out to those that love you.
Let's do it together.
