Guidance For Dilemmas And Double Binds

This meditation is for anyone facing a difficult choice in their lives. It offers guidance on how to get yourself unstuck from any dilemmas or double-binds that may be keeping you from moving forward in a relationship or career choice. Put your burdens down and sink into the guidance of this offering so you can re-emerge with a fresh perspective.

This meditation was originally shared as part of a podcast called Ask a Wayfinder. Check out Episode 6 if you'd like to learn more about the topic.

Transcript

This meditation comes from an episode of the meditation and advice podcast,

Ask a Wayfinder.

In it,

We discuss dilemmas and double binds and how to know when we're stuck in one.

What sets a double bind apart from your average difficult choice is that the usual methods of reading the body for guidance don't necessarily work.

Your emotional compass can't guide you because either outcome feels wrong.

What's most needed in these situations is a third option,

A completely new path that breaks the stalemate.

And that's what this meditation offers.

All you need to do is bring to mind a situation that is challenging you and let yourself be guided to a new potential perspective.

I want you to stop doing whatever you're doing and find a comfortable place to sit in an environment where you can close your eyes and feel safe and you won't be disturbed for a while.

And as you settle into your body,

I want you to track the sensations of being in this dilemma.

What it feels like to be torn between options,

Neither of which feel good.

Track the anxiety that you might be feeling.

Is it sitting in your chest?

Is it a fluttery feeling?

Is it a frozen feeling?

Just checking in to the reality of how this feels in your body.

So for those of you who like to visualize things,

I'd like to guide you through a scenario that will help us find a new path forward from this double bind.

But even if you don't really visualize well when you meditate,

That's not really your way of sorting through things.

I invite you to sit with sensation.

Just keeping in touch with the body and tracking how things feel and noticing whenever there is an alternative or a different sensation or something else you'd like to track.

I want you to imagine that you're in a forest and you're walking down a path.

You look down at your feet and perhaps you see the mud-packed earth beneath you and ferns and underbrush.

Just settling into the feeling of being in this forest,

This calm place with the sounds of nature surrounding you.

And I want you to imagine that you're walking along this path that's leading you forward.

It may help to notice what kind of path it is.

Is it earth?

Is it stony?

Is it steep?

Is it gentle?

Just sinking into this visualization of you on a path in the woods.

Now as you follow this path,

You're going to come to a point where the path forks.

This is your double bind.

To the left is one outcome.

Perhaps what you've been told to do what seems right to do.

And to the right is the other outcome.

Something else you've been told to do what is right.

And here you are,

Stuck at the fork of these paths,

And you don't know which way to go.

I want you to really think about the path to the left.

Noting again what does it look like?

Is it downhill?

Is it uphill?

Is it curvy?

Is it a hard path?

Is it an easy path?

Is it perhaps a path that feels familiar,

One you've taken before?

And let's do the same thing for the path to the right.

What does it look like?

What are its qualities?

Is it hilly or curvy?

Straight?

Wide?

Narrow?

Does it lead off into darkness or into light?

What are your bodily sensations when you consider this path forward?

And now I want you to bring your attention back to your feet.

I'm looking at this fork in the road right in front of you.

I want you to imagine that there before you,

You didn't see it before,

It's a very comfortable place to sit.

Maybe it's a moss-covered log or a stone that's just right for your back.

Maybe it's just a wonderful carpet of grass that you can sit upon.

You're choosing not to choose,

You're choosing to pause here at this path and sit and contemplate.

Settle into your comfortable place at this fork in the road.

I want you to turn your attention back to the left fork,

The first option you considered,

Remembering the path and how it led and what it would be like to walk it.

And now I want you to come back into that scenario and I want you to play it forward.

I want you to imagine what would happen if you took that path.

And I want you to be as detailed as possible.

I make this decision,

These are the consequences.

I want you to play it out a day,

A week,

A month,

And a year.

I want you to let that path unfold for you while you sit right here.

What are the consequences of that path?

Who will you disappoint?

How will you feel about yourself if you take that path?

Looking at a year out,

I want you to once again scan your body and see how it feels to have lived this outcome in your mind.

Now I want you to come back to your place at the fork in the road and remember that you have not made that choice yet,

Shaking off any sensations or memories or feelings associated with having taken that path.

Just coming back to this point of stillness where you haven't chosen,

Perhaps feeling the tension of the choice.

But remembering that you are safe in this wood with birdsong all around you.

Now let's look at the right path,

The second option.

I want you to sit there in your space of contemplation and imagine that you are walking that path.

Following those hills or curves,

Feeling the details of that situation coalesce around you.

Live the life of having made that choice.

See the consequences of that action or inaction.

Let it play out a day,

A week,

A month,

And a year.

Let all the circumstances cascade from that one decision and just imagine if that were true,

If that were your path.

When you play it forward,

How does it feel in your body?

Who have you hurt?

How have you hurt yourself?

What experiences did you deprive yourself of by making this choice?

Let it be real.

Once you've played out this path all the way a year in the future,

I want you to come back,

Come back to this place in the fork of the road,

Back to your comfortable seat,

And shake off all those experiences you just imagined,

Once again remembering you have not yet chosen.

That is not your reality yet.

Here you have far more concrete information about what happens either way.

And perhaps that helps inform which path seems more attractive.

Were there pleasant aspects of either choice that you'd like to hold on to?

And now the time has come from your comfortable seat here in the forest at the fork of these paths.

For you to open your eyes and look in between both paths is another path.

It's hard to see at first.

It's more like a deer track or a rabbit path.

But slowly but surely,

You can see it and you can follow it.

What is this third path?

Where does it take you?

It goes in between,

So therefore it takes the best of the paths on either side of it.

Sometimes the best thing to do when we're faced with a decision like this is to decide,

Not to decide.

Sometimes we become aware of options we hadn't even considered because we were so caught in the binary of left versus right.

Just allow yourself to take step by step down this other path and see where it takes you.

See what comes up,

What possibilities are available to you,

What alternatives are waiting for you.

How do you find your own way out?

And lo and behold,

As you follow this winding little path,

Watching your feet,

Taking care where you step,

Letting possibilities come to you with each step.

I want you to imagine that this little path takes you to a clearing,

A meadow where the sun breaks through the forest.

This is a place of peace and calm.

And you get to make it look however you want to make it look.

Hang out in this meadow of the third option for as long as you'd like.

Let it become real.

Let options you hadn't even imagined for yourself become reality.

See if the meadow has any messages for you,

Any flowers or animals.

And dedicate yourself to finding the third path.

VAndar Legislative The bell is invited.

Reviews

Thank you for this 🙏🏾🌟

Thank you. This was perfect as I'm at a crossroads of two very different paths between 2 countries. This was helpful and allowed me to craft a new viewpoint about things. 🙏✨ namaste

I have listened to this meditation twice now. The first time I really struggled to engage and feel, probably due to my own resistance. The second time I really went with it and found it so helpful in seeing why my dilemma is so difficult and to focus on the positive aspects of the third path. Patience is a message I have received many times recently and after this meditation I am confident in being patient, adopting and enjoying the new experience of going with the flow of the third path, because all will become clear in time. Namaste ❤️

Great insights, nice voice and guidance, very helpful and peaceful. I like the 3rd option and finding a new way, I'll be using this often. thank you 💜🙏

I found this meditation to be insightful and eye opening. The guided imagery of the forest paths is perfect for so many situations that we have to decide which way to go. Especially during this time. Thank you also for such a calming voice.