Do This One Thing And Change Your Life

Part of the human condition is the tendency to get trapped in our humanness or personality self and forget who we really are. This causes us to disconnect from our higher self which is much like cutting yourself off from your power source.

Life has caused you to accumulate stories, things, and labels which place boundaries and limits on you. Listen to this and gain back your power as creator of your life!

Transcript

Welcome to Ask the Guru,

The podcast where we answer those difficult questions like,

Who am I?

And why am I here?

Thank you so much for joining me on this quest for the answers.

Today on Ask the Guru,

We're going to answer that question,

Who are you?

This is of course a difficult question and there's so many ways that we can answer it.

Today we're just going to look at who are you from the aspect of the personality self.

This is the part of you that consists of your name,

Your age,

The roles that you play like mom or dad or sister,

Brother,

Lover,

Maybe your job.

It's all the ways that you're showing up in the world.

So you oftentimes are going to behave very differently when playing the role of friend as you might as the role of mother.

So we always,

To play a role,

We need other parties.

You need to have your supporting cast,

I suppose.

So like you can't be a mother or a father without a child or somebody willing to play the role of a child.

So you can step into that role.

So again,

As we move through life,

We are accumulating these roles that we play.

And the personality self is so much more than that because it comes with a backstory.

We've developed a story over our lifetime and we utilize this story to tell how we've arrived right where we are.

So again,

There's been a million moments in your life.

There's been a million experiences,

So,

So,

So many places that you've been and things that you've done and people that you've met.

And yet you will be able to frame your story most of the time in just a few climactic moments that describe how you've arrived into the personality that you've developed today or the role that you're playing today,

Which may have physical impairments.

Again,

You'll have a story as to how those happened or why they happened.

And you know,

It may have emotional impairments or a certain way you like to wear your hair or a way you like to dress.

But all of these things have been accumulated from a backstory,

A story that you still tell today that allows you to validate the role that you're playing.

So a way that we can really recognize the personality self that we've developed,

Aside from sitting down and just really looking at it,

Like stepping outside of yourself and imagining that you met yourself on the street or the roles,

Just simply writing down all of the roles that you play and how you step into those roles,

Who you become in those spaces.

And maybe ask yourself,

Is there some other roles that you've wanted to play?

Is there a way that you wish the world viewed you or saw you or acknowledged you?

You know,

Maybe up until today,

You're sort of that person that puts their nose to the grind and is a hard worker.

And this is the role you've stepped into,

The reliable hard worker.

And maybe you want to be seen as the free spirit,

The person who just kind of goes with the flow.

And so look at some of the qualities of that role.

How would you step into that role?

Would you dress different?

Would you walk different?

Would you talk different?

And something that is really important is,

You know,

Aside from,

Of course,

Taking time to really sit with that,

I would love for you to take out a piece of paper and go,

What are the roles I'm playing?

How does the world view me today?

How would I view me if I met me on the street?

You know,

Would I say,

Oh gosh,

This person is fit.

This person is confident.

You know,

How would I view me if I just kind of passed myself on the street somewhere?

And then I want you to start to listen to the words that you say,

The things that you use to describe who you are.

So when you say things like,

I am,

Listen carefully to your own words that follow.

I am tired.

I am exhausted.

And then oftentimes you're going to validate that.

I'm so tired.

And then you're going to tell the story that validates it.

Because last night I got no sleep,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

But again,

Now you're framing the role that you're going to be playing from this moment forward until you change your story.

So it's so important that we look at what do we say after I am and start to change those words because why do we want to tell that story?

Even if it's true,

Even if it's true that you got a crappy night's sleep,

You could say,

I am doing all right right now.

I'm feeling pretty good right now.

I mean,

There's always a way to tell a different story.

And then you also want to listen very,

Very carefully to the words you say after I believe.

When you are describing a belief you have to somebody,

Listen carefully and then look at that belief afterwards and say,

Is this a belief that is limiting me in some way?

And am I okay with those boundaries or limitations that I'm placing on myself by saying I believe this?

And what kind of life may exist outside of this belief if I was to look at this belief and maybe change it?

I mean,

So many people will say things about,

I believe that people are bad.

People have qualities within them where they are terrible people.

They will hurt people.

And I just ask you to sit with that belief.

Does that belief benefit you?

Does it create boundaries in your life?

And when you're living within those boundaries,

What would happen if you were to remove those boundaries?

How would your life open up?

How would it be different?

And then start to really look at the belief.

Have you seen evidence of this?

And is it 100% truth?

And has there been more evidence of the opposite?

Would it benefit you more to tell a different story or to simply maybe baby step your way,

Shift the belief a little?

You know,

You could say something like,

Yeah,

I believe that there are bad people,

But for the most part people are good.

And see how that opens up that possibility just a little bit.

And bit by bit,

Maybe you'll start to just see more and more evidence of people being good and you'll start to move in that direction and you may see your world opening up.

So it is really important that we look at beliefs that we have.

Oftentimes the beliefs that we've accumulated,

They were given to us when we were really,

Really little.

You know,

Beliefs that were designed to protect us that happened when we were small,

When we weren't in control of our environments,

When we were essentially being placed in somebody else's limiting beliefs.

So mom and dad,

They had beliefs about the world and they brought you into this world and they get to then control sort of the environment that you're absorbing and experiencing and the way that you're moving through or creating,

Building beliefs about life.

So oftentimes when we're little,

For survival,

Very,

Very necessary to survive in the environment that mom and dad have created,

We may have to take on beliefs.

You know,

Don't open the door to strangers,

Don't do that.

But a lot of the beliefs that we accumulate,

We may have grown up in abuse and dysfunction.

We may have seen,

You know,

Horrific things and created so many beliefs about that.

But now here you are in a whole new world.

You've emerged from that place.

And if you pause and you look around at the life that you have now and the world you're living in now,

Do those beliefs still pertain?

Is it time to reanalyze those beliefs because they may be limiting you and your experience of right now?

So again,

These are all aspects.

We were just talking only about the personality self.

This is again,

The part that the roles that we play within this skin,

The way we interact with society.

So this is the you that you look at in the mirror,

The reflection of you that is skin that is bones that wears,

You know,

Costumes that plays these roles,

Right?

That puts the mask on every day and steps into all these different roles.

This is personality self,

But this is not who you are.

You see,

There's a whole nother aspect of you.

There's a whole nother part of you that is the higher self.

The higher self aspect of you is what we are going to refer to as your true self.

See,

Your true self is everything that you want to be,

You know,

At a deeper level,

What you're craving out of this life.

It is just peace.

It is joy.

It is love.

It is all of the things that we're really wanting out of this life,

But then we get hung up in the personality self and then in the roles and acting and playing our role and reacting to the world and we forget that there is another aspect of us,

That this true self,

Right,

This part of us that is limitless,

That is boundless,

That is peace,

That is love and if we spend a little bit of time quiet and still with our eyes closed,

Just a little bit of time,

Enough time that the mind starts to quiet down,

We start to get in touch with that aspect of ourselves,

That part that remembers that we are limitless,

That we are boundless,

That we are literally made of everything and everything is us,

That we cannot be in reaction to the world because we are the world.

It is all us and when we can remember that,

We sort of step back into our superpower.

So when we are feeling maybe stuck,

Alone,

Scared,

Hurt,

We have to remember that these are all feelings of the personality self,

Not the true self and oftentimes,

We are only feeling hurt,

Stuck because we are occupying the personality self and forgetting about the higher self.

See,

We start to believe the personality self is who we are and we get really hung up in it and we are completely disconnected from that part of us that is love,

That is peace,

That is joy,

That remembers everything,

Right?

And so,

You know,

When we get caught up in the personality self,

Like the whole world,

We forget that it is us,

It becomes separate,

It becomes a threat.

The whole world is now an enemy because it is separate from us.

But again,

The higher self sees that we are the world,

That it is all us,

There is no disconnect.

It's like it's an internal battle,

See,

Because we're craving that freedom,

We're craving that connection to the higher self,

We want to be and it's right there,

The access point is right there inside of us,

It's always available,

But we somehow cut it off,

We disconnect.

It's like we choose to sit inside of a cage and we are telling ourselves that we're trapped even though we're holding the key in our hand.

And this is truly,

It's like the stories that we tell,

The limiting beliefs,

And the reacting to the world and the world is out to get us and all of those things kind of keep us stuck in this cage,

It limits our ability to move.

But we have the key,

We can always unlock the cage and step back into remembering that freedom,

That universal self,

That we are limitless beings and we are truly made of the sensation of love and peace and joy,

That's who we really are.

So I want you to view the cage,

That when we are sitting in that cage and we're feeling stuck and we're feeling,

We have to look at the cage as made up of our stories.

It is the limiting beliefs,

It is the words I am and the beliefs and we have to look at what stories are we telling because those are the stories that are binding us right now,

Locking us down there,

The shackles that are holding us in place or the cage,

The walls around us,

Right?

But when we can remember,

See that we are the writer,

The creator of our stories,

When we can remember that we are the only ones that can tell our story,

Nobody else can tell my story,

Nobody can say I am and be talking about me,

Only I can.

I am the person holding the key,

I can unlock that cage just by telling a different story,

Remembering that I'm in charge of writing my story and I can create one of power,

One of overcoming,

I can relinquish or let go of any story I may be telling where I am playing the role of victim.

Why would I write my story and place myself in the role of victim?

Why not make myself the hero of my story?

I am going to tell the story of how I've overcome,

Of all the struggles that I've left through,

Of all the powerful ways that I've moved through life and I'm still standing here today.

I can tell a different story and take back my power.

I can get quiet from time to time and reconnect with that part of me that remembers who I really am and from that space,

From that limitless space,

There are no shackles,

There are no walls around me.

From the place of connecting to my higher self,

If I'm writing my story from there,

I'm not going to place any limits.

I'm going to write a story that is beautiful,

One of love,

One of how I connect to the world,

How I have a purpose,

A divine unique purpose,

How I am assisting others and I'm making a difference and I matter.

I can tell that story instead of the story of poor me.

So again,

If I have been gifted with the power to tell my own story,

If this is something the only thing that really truly is within my power,

Why would I ever allow myself to tell the story where I am the victim and something is happening to me?

Now it's okay to acknowledge that okay,

Maybe at some point that is your story,

But make sure that you're only telling a story of you being the victim so that you can tell the story of how you overcame it.

Make sure that that's where you're headed or that's even where you are,

How you've already overcome it.

Look at where you are right now and how you hold that power in your hand.

You,

Only you can make yourself the victim.

I don't care what your circumstances are.

There is no circumstance where you,

Where somebody else has the ability to take away your power.

They may be able to take away your external circumstances,

But they cannot be ever in charge of the way you're going to tell your story and you can tell your story as if I created this and I am here in power and strength and courage.

It is so,

So easy.

I get it.

I mean,

We get consumed by the roles that we're playing.

Think of those actors that we love the most.

The reason we love to watch them is because it's believable.

We believe that they are the roles we get sucked in and so do they.

Sometimes these actors say that they start to live the role even outside of the set.

That's how they can fully walk in those shoes and become that person.

This is what you've done.

You've developed a role and you've just become to believe it.

You are walking in this role.

You have become it.

You've taken it on in such solidarity that it is completely consumed you and I'm asking you to remember you can remove the costume,

Can step outside of the role.

You can close your eyes and remove yourself from even the skin,

Right?

You can take a moment to remember who you really are,

That you are not the role,

That you are the being that is choosing to play this role and you can choose any role at any time.

You can start even to tell your story differently.

You can look back over your past and start to look for pieces to build a different story if the story that you've been telling is no longer serving you or you want to now tell a story where you arrive somewhere new and you know,

You can,

You don't even have to take on the belief of your age or all of the things that society tells you about who you are.

You get to decide.

You get to decide with somebody your age looks like,

Behaves like,

Feels like,

Connects.

You are the decider of your story.

Stop taking in the input of the world.

Stop letting it dictate.

Close your eyes.

Sit with you.

Reconnect with the highest part of you.

Remember who you are and remember you are choosing the role that you are playing.

If you are no longer liking that role,

Choose a different role.

Rewrite your story.

It is yours to write.

You have the power.

Again,

Today,

If you're walking away with anything,

I'm going to ask you to sit down with a piece of paper and go,

What is the role that I'm playing?

Who am I?

How am I showing up currently?

Is this a story I tell about who I am?

To simplify this,

You could just look at those three aspects of self.

It's the personality self.

It's like,

How do my friends see me?

What are some of the qualities they say about me?

Then look at whether the roles I am playing currently.

Again,

Many of us are maybe playing mom and dad and that's a very significant role.

That might be the biggest,

Largest piece of the roles that you're playing right now.

In fact,

It consumes you so much that all the other roles get these very small slices like lover or wife,

Husband gets a very small slice because mom,

Dad is taken over and consumed.

That's usually while the children are small.

This is a big,

Big piece.

The children need you less,

So mom and dad role starts to narrow.

Now we start to have to expand back into maybe wife,

Husband role or back into our jobs,

That dedicated whatever it is.

We can recognize and then at some point,

Those children don't need you at all.

Now it's like,

Who am I?

So many people are at these places in our life where we've had to let go of some roles.

How do we fill that space?

We forget that we are the designers of our life.

We can literally create any role we want to play.

I would love for you to look at who are you,

What are the roles that you're playing,

How do people see you and then look at the way that you hold yourself.

If you would just see yourself on the street somewhere in the average way that you dress or walk or talk,

What conclusions might you draw about that person if you saw you?

Would you say,

Oh,

They're healthy,

They're strong,

They're fit,

They're confident.

What would you say about this person?

What are some things that you might conclude by looking at them?

Then look at what are the roles that you wish you were playing.

Who are the people that you admire and the way that they're showing up in the world?

Look at how they may dress,

How they may talk,

How they may hold themselves.

If you were to see them walking down the street,

Would you connect them with that role right away and why?

What are some aspects of the way that they are walking in that role?

I want you to think of it just like being that famous actor on the set.

They have to step into a role.

They have to become that.

That is something that if you want to do,

If you want to change your role,

You have to look at how does that person walk,

How did they talk,

How will the world perceive me as that role?

What are some things I can change today?

Again,

Today our question was who am I and what are the roles that I'm playing,

But to remember that aside from those roles that we're playing,

That that is just one aspect of us.

That is just the personality self.

That is the way that we navigate this world.

Again,

When we can stay connected to the higher part of ourselves and just play the role,

Enjoy,

Play it like a game,

Love your life,

Live the life you love,

Play the roles you want to play,

Enjoy.

You'll be able to do that when you remember that you are connected to this limitless aspect of you.

When you look at the boundaries that you place around you,

Remember those are your boundaries that you placed and you can remove them.

When you spend time connecting with the higher part of you,

That limitless aspect of you,

So that you can stay in touch with the part of you that remembers you are everything.

The part of you that is love,

That is creation,

That is peace,

That is harmony.

To do that we have to spend time withdrawing from the world,

Separating from that role so that we don't have the reflection of the world showing us again the personality self,

Right,

Where we can remove ourselves from the skin for a moment,

From the roles that we're playing for a moment and return to who we really are.

I love you so much and I hope you make it an amazing day and please again if you enjoyed this please share it with your friends,

You know,

Subscribe or like or follow and I look forward to hearing your questions.

Make it a great day.

Reviews

Debbie: Thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Major life transitions happen periodically and often we have the opportunity to prepare for them by re-examining our identities, that periodically change too.

Some very good points and presented clearly and with enthusiasm. Thank you.

Advaita Vedanta explained wonderfully. You limit yourself by the role you play. You are the universe

This was a fabulous talk!! Good points of questions to ask oneself and to redirect our energies as well as rewrite the stories we tell about ourselves. Thank you so much!!💗💗

Wow. This was really nice and warm and wonderful. I like the sound of your voice too. Thank you so much teacher : )

That was amazing 🤩 thank you