Balancing Obligations And Prioritizing Self

Discover the importance of self-care and how mindfulness, meditation, and mindful task management can bring balance to your life. You deserve to be at the top of your to-do list, find the harmony you seek, and prioritize self-care.

Transcript

Okay,

Today we are going to dig in topic of balancing obligations and prioritizing self-care.

And that word balance is tricky.

It is something that I feel like we are all trying to achieve,

But it feels like it's kind of just outside of our reach,

Or maybe we don't really know how to get there.

And if you've heard me talk at all about balance in the past,

Really balance to me is where the time we're spending on ourselves,

The time we're spending with our families,

Our friends,

Our hobbies,

The time we're spending working,

The time we're spending resting,

That feels good to us.

Now certain times in our lives are going to take us through some of those areas a little bit deeper,

And we won't have as much space or energy or time to spend in the other areas.

And that's okay,

As long as we don't go down the rabbit hole and end up spending all of our energy,

Our effort,

Our time,

Our resources on just one thing and not giving attention to anything else.

I hope that that makes a little bit of sense.

So when I consider balancing our obligations and prioritizing our self-care,

For most of us our obligations are those responsibilities that we have,

Our household,

Our work,

Extracurricular type things that maybe our children are involved in,

That kind of stuff.

One of the things we don't consider an obligation or we don't often consider a priority is taking care of ourselves.

And those things are moving our bodies,

Eating well,

Drinking enough water,

Resting,

Taking time for fun,

For creativity,

For things we enjoy,

For spending time with people that we care about.

All of those things can be forms of self-care.

So I want you to think about what self-care looks like to you.

And self-care really,

To make it very simple,

Is doing something that makes you feel good,

Doing something that makes you feel happy or brings you joy.

So that looks different for all of us.

For some people,

Running five miles in the morning makes them happy.

For others,

That sounds overwhelming and stressful.

They maybe would like to spend some time at the gym or going for a more leisurely walk or reading and doing some meditation.

Again,

That is your decision.

But I invite you to dig in and explore and really figure out what that looks like for you.

What are those things that you can say,

I did this today and it made me feel amazing?

That's self-care.

So if you know this about me,

If you know anything,

You know this part about me.

And that is that I was constantly juggling work and family and certain points throughout my life,

Being a student,

Just being involved in so many things.

There was a period of time in my life that the word no or having the discernment to say,

I don't have the energy for that right now.

I don't have the capacity for that right now.

It was non-existent.

I just said yes to everything.

Yep,

Yep,

I can do it.

I can do it.

I got this.

It did not occur to me that I couldn't handle it until,

Until I realized I was at the bottom of my own to-do list all the time,

Like not even on my to-do list.

So it was time for a change.

And for a lot of us,

We get to that point where we're like,

OK,

Something has to change because I can't do this anymore.

I can't do this anymore.

So that is why I am spending this time,

Why I am emphasizing the importance of self-care and defining what that looks like for you,

Because it's not selfish.

It's not a,

Oh,

If I have time,

Because in reality,

We never will.

It is necessary.

Self-care is necessary.

When we take care of ourselves,

We become better equipped to handle the challenges that life throws at us.

We can handle getting over those hurdles.

We can work through those obstacles because we are taking care of ourselves.

We're not under constant stress.

We're not making decisions and taking action out of a place of overwhelm.

That makes such a big difference.

So you might be thinking,

OK,

How do I do this?

Where do I start?

And I'm going to say that it's not always easy.

It does take patience.

It does take persistence.

But with some of the things that you're learning,

Some of the stuff that we are spending time talking about,

It gets easier over time.

So three things that I want to touch on today.

This should be no surprise to you.

Mindfulness,

Meditation,

And mindful task management.

So we're going to start with mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a mental state characterized by being fully present and engaged in the moment.

So right now,

Without judgment.

We're not putting anything on this except being right here.

It involves paying deliberate attention to your thoughts,

Your feelings,

And your surroundings.

And when I consider mindfulness,

I ask these three questions.

What am I doing?

Why am I doing it?

How does it make me feel?

What am I doing?

Why am I doing it?

How does it make me feel?

That is where we can be more observant of what's happening to us in our lives right now in this moment,

And then decide if it's something that we enjoy,

Something that drags us down,

Something that lifts us up,

Something that holds us back.

How do we feel about this?

So mindfulness can be very powerful.

And considering how it works,

We're just going to touch on a couple of things.

Being present.

Mindfulness encourages you to focus on the present moment,

As I mentioned,

Which can help you detach from the stress of the past.

It can help you take away like regrets.

It can eliminate worrying about the future.

And by fully engaging in what you're doing,

You can reduce anxiety and feel more in control.

It also helps us to appreciate the small things.

So practicing mindfulness involves appreciating those little joys in life.

And that can be like enjoying your coffee.

It can be enjoying a walk,

Enjoying sunshine outside,

Those things that often just kind of pass us by.

We don't even realize they're happening.

And that helps us develop that positive outlook,

Finding that gratitude.

And when we do that,

It improves our overall well-being.

And then finally,

Gaining clarity.

So mindfulness can help us be more clear about our thoughts,

About our emotions.

What are the priorities we have in our lives?

And then observing those things without judgment.

Without judgment,

We can identify patterns.

We can make more conscious choices.

As I mentioned,

We can choose differently when we know that something specific in our lives is maybe causing us stress or making us feel anxious or overwhelmed.

So hopefully that all makes sense.

So meditation is the second tool,

The second thing that I want to discuss.

And this is a practice that promotes mindfulness and inner peace.

So meditation can help us be more mindful as we get used to quieting all the noise around us and slowing things down and paying attention.

So meditation is setting aside specific time to really go into that peaceful,

Relaxed state of mind.

And that can help release tension in our body and feel better overall.

So calm and centering.

Meditation provides this space for us to feel calm,

To center ourselves,

To kind of ground ourselves.

As I mentioned,

Quieting a lot of the stuff that's coming at us all the time.

We're not necessarily quieting our minds and our thoughts,

But all the external stuff that is going on around us that we're absorbing and taking in.

So meditation can be valuable when dealing with stressful situations or challenging situations.

We can kind of push pause and spend a little time trying to quiet and work through whatever those challenges are.

Also during meditation,

You can visualize your goals and aspirations.

You can maintain focus on that thing,

Those things that truly,

Truly matter to you.

And that helps us with motivation.

It helps us have that clarity to keep going,

To keep pursuing those things.

And then having that inner peace and that emotional balance.

So as I mentioned that a lot of times when we are making decisions and we're taking actions out of a place of being stressed,

It generally does not go well.

We generally do and say things that maybe we wouldn't normally say or do.

And we find ourselves feeling guilty and upset about how everything played out.

And so meditation can help us reduce those feelings of anxiety.

It can improve our ability to cope with some of these ups and downs in life.

We can't eliminate them.

Stress is going to be there.

We're going to be put under pressure.

We're going to face challenges and things that we have to overcome.

And so how can we do that?

Meditation is a tool to help.

And then mindful task management.

And this is essentially your to-do list.

We all create to-do lists.

But how can we create them in a way that we have control over our day?

I always say there's this idea of not preparing and not prioritizing lets other people hijack our day.

It lets other people hijack our energy,

Our time,

All of our resources that we have when we don't have a plan and we don't have boundaries.

So mindful task management helps us take thoughtful and creating a deliberate approach to organizing and prioritizing our daily activities.

So putting those most important things on top and allowing enough time to complete them.

And those top things should include that self-care,

That space for the things that you have said that you enjoy.

So let's look at what we can do here a little bit.

So as I mentioned,

Prioritizing self-care,

Consciously scheduling time for those activities,

Whether it's exercise,

Relaxation,

Hobbies,

Time with people you love.

Look at that as just as important as showing up for work,

Just as important as an appointment you made with your doctor.

This is how you avoid neglecting your well-being.

Because if we do not schedule it for most of us,

It doesn't happen.

So putting that on your agenda.

This self-care,

These activities that we're talking about,

Helps prevent burnout,

Helps us improve life,

Helps us avoid getting to that breaking point of I can't do it anymore.

Time management.

And again,

Here,

If you've heard me talk before,

Time management really is task management.

So what do you have to do?

How much time do you have to do it?

When do you have to have it completed by?

And breaking it down into manageable pieces so that you can accomplish it.

Look at identifying those most important tasks and allocate your time and your energy accordingly so that you can keep yourself productive,

Motivated,

And reduce the stress that comes with some of these deadlines or pressures of finishing things.

And then we're going to kind of jump back to that balancing obligations.

So when you have,

When you spend time mindfully with your to-do list,

You can create a little bit of balance between your work,

Between your family,

Between your self-care and personal activities,

Because you will have boundaries around prioritizing those things and knowing what you have space for.

So that helps us from getting stretched too thin.

As I mentioned back at the beginning of this,

I was a person who said yes like all the time.

And I found myself feeling pulled in every direction and never having enough energy for any of the things I said yes to because I didn't give myself space to rest,

To recover,

To work through challenges.

It was just one thing after another with no room to breathe.

So all of this to say that you deserve to be at the top of your to-do list.

And if you'd like to say that out loud to yourself,

I invite you to do so,

I deserve to be at the top of my to-do list.

Use mindfulness,

Use meditation,

Use managing your tasks,

Your to-do list to find that balance between these things,

To create space for your well-being.

So if you have any questions,

Feel free to reach out to me.

I invite you to make self-care a priority.

It will help you create a life that's more rewarding and that's more fulfilling and something that you enjoy and want to wake up for every day.