Navigating Change Part 2: Soothing Emotional Pain

Being immersed in a big change moment understandably brings along with it strong emotions and sometimes painful ones. In this talk that also includes a guided meditation we'll discuss working with emotions as a natural response to change and you'll be guided in creating a safe place within you to feel your feelings.

Music Credit: Untold Depths - Gentle Remix by Christopher Lloyd Clarke of Englightened Audio. Used with permission.
Photo Credit: Pixabay lillolillolillo

Transcript

Yesterday we spoke about the process of navigating change,

How change is inherently unsettling because of our ego structures.

We talked about how I work with the ego as a relationship,

As a connection,

As a place for offering love,

Care,

And compassion to ourselves,

And not a thing to fight,

Or push down,

Or be in tension,

Or struggle with.

Although this work includes feelings of struggle,

Of course,

Because we're working to grow.

And growth is inherently,

You know,

I just think of all the,

What I want to say,

Growth is inherently,

Has inherent struggle energy in it.

We don't have to suffer or feel pain in that necessarily in that struggle.

And that's the grace of it.

That's the dance of it.

That's the,

That's what we're going for here is to hold the reality of what growth is and what growth requires of us in this change that you're going through.

What does growth require of you and how can we lessen the feelings of suffering and pain as you go through the necessary processes of growth?

Okay?

I think so many cool metaphors in our natural world help us with that and in nature and in just the way life works on this planet can help us with that.

I'm thinking of my kids and quote unquote growing pains in their physical body.

My son's legs would hurt.

They would ache.

And the answer was he's growing.

He's growing quickly.

And there's some stress on the body as he does that.

And that can create a sensation of physical pain.

I'm thinking,

Of course,

Of a chick breaking out of an egg.

That is life growing.

It's a miracle.

It's a miracle of life.

And that chick works their tail off doing that.

Chipping,

Chipping,

Chipping,

Chipping,

Chipping away.

That chick gets out of that egg exhausted.

What has just been exerted is massive,

Massive.

It's going through the threshold.

It's I choose to live in this life.

I choose to be out in this air.

Right?

Then of course I go to a human baby being born through the birth canal.

That is growth right there.

And there is inherently a push.

Right?

Literal push and also energetic metaphoric all of it.

Okay?

It's that push into growth.

And that's what change requires of us.

It just does.

Our resistance to that is just something that comes up that it's our job to transcend through.

Okay?

And I'm not saying it's easy.

Not at all.

Not at all.

And I'm not diminishing the pain in the experience.

But I am here to talk about work through be in it,

Holding as a truth,

Holding as a foundation,

Holding as a centering principle that you're in the midst of change.

Change requires growth.

Change will challenge your ego structures.

And your job is to get through it as open eyed,

As consciously as present to yourself,

Your emotions,

Your thoughts,

Your experiences as you can be to navigate it with the full growth potential involved.

And yes,

Growth for your actual,

You know,

3D life situation to navigate that as beautifully as you possibly can,

But also for the personal growth,

The spiritual development that it is also an opportunity to have and to grow into.

And just see how that sits with you.

Be with that.

That change is inherently a growth experience.

And it's an opportunity to experience life at a richer,

Deeper level.

Part of our work here is to be in awareness of our ego.

Like for instance,

Where emotional pain surfaces,

Because that's a major part of change.

We feel scared.

We feel uncertain.

We feel nervous.

We feel a lot of uncomfortable emotions.

And that means we are in pain.

And so let's dedicate this time to looking at being in conscious awareness of our emotions.

And I want to just say for a moment that many times we were taught or we internalized that,

Oh my gosh,

That's scary,

Right?

Like,

Don't let the emotions,

Don't really become aware of the emotions.

Sometimes emotions leak out.

Sometimes they feel they can't be fully expressed or experienced.

So they just like rage out in anger once they build really high.

There's lots of ways that our emotions move through us.

And remember,

I like when people say emotions are emotion,

Energy in motion.

Our guiding post around emotions is let them move.

Okay?

Let them move.

When you have tears,

It's your emotion waters running.

That's movement.

Okay?

That's movement.

And if you let those tears go,

I know I've worked with a lot of people who say,

I haven't cried in years.

I can't remember the last time I cried.

And it's not because they don't have big emotions.

It's because,

You know,

They taught themselves,

Don't let that outer emotion show.

Okay?

So if you need to do it solo,

If you just need to feel it rise to the point of the welling up of tears,

And if there's a not going any further,

Understood.

Okay?

Just take this to the level.

And as far as you're willing,

You know,

Able to in any moment,

And it's all good,

Right?

But know that emotions are meant to move.

And the cool thing is that once they move,

We move into a new phase.

When we hold our emotions really,

Really,

Really tightly,

And we don't let them have any movement or flush through,

And they get stuck,

But then we get stuck in that spot,

Because the emotion is meant like a river flowing,

It's meant to continue moving you into your next experience.

So the river into the lake into the ocean,

Right?

That's a natural flow of water.

You want your emotions to be similar and have a natural flow.

And we remind ourselves that our emotions are ours.

When we have big emotions,

It's our work to hold them with care and responsibility towards ourselves and anything and anyone else around us.

So holding all that,

Know that navigating change means letting emotions flow.

Okay,

Gotta let them flow.

And there's so many ways that you can do it.

I like one of my teachers talks about how she gives herself 15 minutes every day of feeling time.

And that's when she does her emotional work.

And emotional work,

You can choose what that might be.

Maybe it's journaling.

Maybe I love Bob Lancer's work,

He does the method.

And that's super cool.

There's these ways that you can connect with your feelings and let them flush through just bringing awareness to your emotions is so important.

I'm just saying this is how I'm feeling.

And then letting yourself sit with that and hold that and know that this is part of your progress.

This is part of you showing up well for the change at hand.

And that in and of itself,

I hope can help you rest a little easier that you're doing what you need to do.

And if you have anger that comes up with that,

Like,

I'm doing what I need to do,

But I'm still in pain,

Right?

No,

That's okay.

All right,

We're gonna work with that angst in you that may arise that wants out of this pain.

I know that very,

Very well.

I know that experience that feeling very,

Very well.

Where you just want out of the pain.

It's like you're crying for it.

Someone give me relief.

Okay.

And you are the answer to that you are the one that is going to build up your skills so that you can provide the relief that your ego is calling for the relief of the pain.

But your spirit and your soul are like,

Yes,

Growth.

That's what we came here for.

All right,

So know that there is also that inside of you,

Which is really excited to grow through this.

Right?

It's like when we go to the gym,

We can feel some pain in the short term.

But it's for a longer term vitality,

Energy feeling like we can live our lives fully with a strong body.

Right?

So that's,

That's how this work can work,

Right?

Okay.

Let's do a practice to support your emotional self.

As you navigate whatever you have going on,

And you feel some emotions come up around it.

So we're going to do a short guided meditation.

Go ahead,

Feel your feet on the ground or whatever part of you is touching the ground.

I know I'm sitting cross legged on the floor.

So I'm feeling my shins and the tops of my feet touching the ground beneath me.

I'm rubbing them against that to really help myself get into my body.

Because when we're feeling strong emotions,

It's also very common that we leave our bodies because it's painful in there.

Okay,

That's where the sensations are occurring.

So see if you can just welcome yourself into your body.

You can rub your hands along your thighs.

Just say,

Hey,

Come on back.

Let's have just a few minutes back in our bodies,

Even though there might be uncomfortable or painful feelings.

Just say,

Come on back just for a moment.

Let's work on this together.

Okay.

And just like all of my work,

We're going to work with any part of yourself that you're feeling any aspect of yourself.

We treat it with love,

With kindness,

With understanding,

With as much patience as we can muster.

And we hold it.

We say hi.

So rubbing your feet on the ground and rubbing your hands on your thighs.

Then after you do that,

Maybe placing a hand on your heart.

If you know me,

You know,

I like to do one hand on the heart and one on the belly.

And I always rub when I do this.

It's just very calming for me and for my nervous system.

See how that feels to you.

Or see where your hands want to go to touch your body to say,

Hi,

Can you come on back for a minute?

Let's just be here with ourselves.

Okay.

Calling in all bits of yourself right here,

Right now into your body.

And you say,

Hi,

I'm here with you.

And the eye that is here is the deep eye,

The essence eye,

I,

The eye that goes beyond this form at this moment.

It is that eternal you that's saying,

Hi,

Come on back.

Let's be together here.

Even in this challenging time,

Even in all that you're feeling and experiencing.

Hi,

Come on in.

It's like being welcomed into a really wonderful setting.

Hi,

Come on in.

Let's just be together in here.

Okay.

And I want you to imagine that within your body,

There is a place where all of you feel safe,

Where all of you feel as it can come and rest and be and feel.

You may feel that in your heart.

You might make a little space in your heart for that.

You may feel it in the watery depths of your belly and just let yourself be there wherever it is.

And if you can't quite imagine it,

Imagine that you can imagine it.

And if it's hard to imagine that you can imagine,

Be open to the possibility that you could imagine,

That you could imagine it,

Take it as far back as you need until you say,

Yeah,

Okay,

I can do that.

And then whatever this little space is within yourself,

Make it yours,

Nest it like fully,

Make it yours.

Picture yourself.

Do you put my soft blankets in there?

Is it cozy?

Is it warm?

What's the temperature?

What's the color?

What do you need to do in there?

Do you need to curl up and cry?

Do you want to look in the mirror and tell yourself,

I love you.

You're doing a great job,

Even though this is hard.

What feeling arises and then be there with yourself in it,

In this space where you are safe,

Where you feel your own love,

Where you are aware of your deeper self as well as this current moment of emotional pain or emotional experience.

And be there,

Wrap yourself in whatever you need to feel that this place is safe.

It is yours.

It is created for you and you can return here anytime.

And so just taking a few breaths and being here,

And you might ask yourself in this space,

What do I need most right now?

And allow any answer to come.

And then you can connect in and say,

Space,

I feel you wanting to give me a gift.

What is that gift?

What's the gift this space wants to give to you?

It might be an object,

Might be a word or a phrase.

It might be a feeling.

So allow this space to gift you with something.

And now,

Is there anything else that you want to do to set this space,

Make it yours?

Go ahead and do that now.

If there's anything you want to communicate with the space,

If there's any last feeling you want to see and experience and hold in this space where you love and care for yourself and everything that arises.

And again,

Knowing you can return here anytime.

Go ahead and begin to say goodbye for now to this space so you can come back.

So beginning to come back,

Beginning to feel yourself back in your body,

Your full body coming into an awareness where soon you can open your eyes if you had them closed.

You can again,

Rub your hands on your belly and your heart on your thighs,

Feel your feet on the ground,

Opening your eyes coming on back.

Good work.

Such good work.

Such good work.

This space,

This space can hold you as you navigate any change,

As you navigate any experience in your life that includes pain,

All right?

You have a safe place within you that will support you in what is a natural progression of life,

Okay?

Thank you so much for being here with me.

You're welcome to ask me any questions and enjoy this space within you that loves and cares for you so well.