Finding Peace In Nature (Long Meditation Bedtime Story)

This meditative long bedtime story is a little different to usual. This is an autobiographical story of my experiences as an autistic individual taking you on a journey through some of my experiences of engaging with nature and animals in childhood, from admiring the view of Arundel, birds flying overhead, observing planets through a telescope, sledging in the snow, learning to focus my attention to calm overwhelm, building dens and treehouses for comfort and relaxation and learning from my experiences with nature and animals, with learning which has transformed my life, my ability to manage anxiety and emotions and overwhelm and developing a deep and lasting connection with nature.

Transcript

So just take a moment to lay your eyes to close and with your eyes closed,

I don't know whether you'll drift to sleep faster to the sound of my voice or whether it'll be to the spaces between my words.

I'm just going to tell this sleep story in the background and while you listen to this sleep story and drift comfortably asleep,

My voice can guide you through this safe and pleasant experience.

And you may find at times that you're paying attention to words that I'm saying,

To the experience that you're having and at other times your mind may just wander deeper on its own,

Asleep.

And there's no right or wrong way to listen to this,

Only the way that's right for you to get the most from this that you can.

And while you begin your journey asleep,

I'm going to tell a story based on my own experiences.

Now as an autistic individual,

I have a deep love for nature and for animals.

And for the fine detail of the world around us.

And I often present this within my stories,

Sharing encounters with animals,

Enjoying time in nature.

But have you ever wondered where it all began?

Or going back to when I was a young child.

I used to live in a small village called Warning Camp.

And this village was in the outskirts of a nearby town called Arundel,

On the south coast of England.

And the home that I lived in sat atop a high hill in Warning Camp.

My bedroom window looked out towards the town of Arundel.

And as I would sit in the bedroom,

Gazing out of my bedroom window,

I could see the castle standing tall and proud.

In the distance in Arundel,

The nearby cathedral.

The bushy oak trees hugging the base of the castle.

And surrounding the outskirts of the town.

And then as you gaze from the castle down across the trees,

Gazing down the scene a little further,

There's a river,

Aran,

Glistening in the light as the water moves on its journey from source to sea.

And gazing down a little further in the scene,

There's a railway track and I remember one day,

As a young child gazing out of the window when a steam train passed through.

Chugging past the cathedral and the castle,

Its elegant brown and beige carriages.

The distant sound of the chugging of the steam train.

Sight of the smoke puffing up out of that train,

Trailing the steam train as it moved.

The whistle of the steam train as it approached Arundel train station.

Acknowledging that it was just passing through and wasn't going to stop.

And as you scan down the scene,

I could see hills and a few gardens of houses and more trees.

And this to me was the most beautiful place to live.

The most serene place.

A place that even today I think of as home.

As an autistic child,

I struggled with sensory overwhelm.

And so I would often gaze out of a window,

Looking at a view like this.

Sometimes there would be birds of prey flying high,

Circling above the fields.

If I looked through binoculars or a telescope,

I could even see peregrines perched on turrets of the castle.

And there was very little light around here.

And so at night,

I'd have the most incredible experiences of gazing through my telescope at the planets and at the moon.

And one of the most awe-inspiring experiences that anybody can have.

And that every parent should share with their child.

Is that first time you set up a telescope,

And you point that telescope at Jupiter or Saturn.

And in the pitch dark,

You put your eye to the eyepiece.

The gentle silence of nature around you.

And through the eyepiece,

All you can see is that planet and the moons.

And if you're looking at Saturn,

It's rings.

And it is the most wonderful,

Awe-inspiring moment.

That sends a fuzzy feeling down through your body.

That intense feeling of wonder.

And I remember the first time I did this.

Looking through a telescope,

Gazing at Jupiter and its moons.

And my entire field of vision was full of the planet and the moons.

And I could make out the circle of the view through the telescope.

Of the view through the telescope.

And it felt like I was in a spacecraft in space.

All absorbed in that view.

As if looking through a window from that spaceship.

Approaching Jupiter.

Seeing those moons.

Seeing the planet.

The incredibly gentle movement.

Becoming so absorbed in that experience.

Of the inky black sky.

And the striking sight of the planet and its moons.

But it absorbed me so much.

I felt I could be floating in space.

On that ship.

Taking me away from the real world.

Taking me away from the real world.

From the stresses of the real world.

And as a young child,

That is such a profound experience.

And one which stays with you.

And helps you to appreciate the scale of the universe.

And the amount of wonder which is out there.

And living in morning camp.

When it would snow.

The hills and the fields around morning camp would become deep with snow.

I remember one year.

Seeing a white stag.

Walking through the snow.

And this stag was often rumoured to exist around morning camp.

But I think there was only one.

And so it was rarely spotted.

And in that snow.

My brothers and I would head outside.

We would walk down to the end of our garden.

We would climb the fence at the end of our garden.

Into the fields.

And we would sit there for a long time.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

Crunching through that snow.

And we would sledge down the hill.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

And we would drag sledges up to the top of the slopes.

Wearing mittens And a coat That does right up the front Higher than your chin With a hood that pulls over With a hood that pulls over With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim With a faux fur trim The sensation Of breathing in the cold air And then breathing it back out Warm Feeling so comfortable With the sounds around me Dulled By the covering of snow And I would often go walking through the snow And I would often go walking through the snow And I would often go walking through the snow And while crunching through the snow And while crunching through the snow I would enjoy the way the light I would enjoy the way the light Glistens and sparkles on the surface of the snow Glistens and sparkles on the surface of the snow Where it's untouched Where it's untouched Almost like the surface of the snow Almost like the surface of the snow Has been dusted With the dust of diamonds And the way the snow And the way the snow Would be slightly Harder on top Harder on top Like the snow has gained a crust Like the snow has gained a crust And a good step Would break the crust On the top of the snow While crunching through that snow Often Onto icy grass Below And then you'd have that sensation Of the icy grass Grass all frosted Crackling Underfoot Sometimes stopping to roll snowballs To build a person out of snow Rolling it up Making that snowball larger and larger Adding a snowball on top Creating a face Using my hands to Rub down the sides And add some shape With some additional snow Patted onto the sides And walking through snowy woodland And the silence within the woodland And that snow Falling from the branches As you pushed past Sometimes getting just a little bit of snow Down the back of your neck Which melts quickly As it warms on your skin And sometimes growing up In this environment When I'd really be struggling With sensory overload Where everything just seemed Too chaotic Where there was too much Going on at home As a young child I would Walk into the woods I'd climb a tree And I would attach myself To the tree With a belt system that I had And while attached To the tree I'd close my eyes And focus on My breathing On calming my breathing On relaxing On deepening my breathing On relaxing my muscles And helping myself to have a Sense of inner peace And while resting there in the tree I'd listen to the sounds around me I'd hear the rustling Of the leaves Above me Below me And around me from the other trees As the wind gently Blows a breeze I would feel the sensation Of the bark against my back And underneath me The coolness of the branches The scent of the trees The feeling of the Bark under my fingertips And with my eyes closed I would listen out For one specific bird And often there'd be a few birds Singing But I would single one bird out And I'd begin to focus On that bird I'd focus On where in space I think that bird is Whether the bird is in front of me Behind me Round the left side Or the right side Whether the bird is higher than me Or lower than me I'd have a sense of What that bird might look like Singing where it is Do I imagine it Standing on a small branch Perhaps with some leaves Around that branch Maybe a branch That's bobbing up and down In the breeze Does it seem like Its singing Is wavering ever so slightly To hint That it's on an undulating branch Or is it singing Steady Like it's on Firmer footing And I didn't know At the time Just as a young child Trying to cope with Some of the challenges Of being autistic That I was learning That I was learning meditation I had never at this point Heard of meditation So I didn't realise That this was Meditation To me it was just Me trying to cope Me finding a solution A solution For calming myself down Managing Anxiety Not that I knew that word at the time Managing Sensory overload Learning to focus my attention On one thing At a time So that I'm not Focusing on anything else So that I can relax I would head down from the tree And I would walk In a mindful way Through the woodland Through An assortment of trees From oak trees To pine trees And I'd walk mindfully Paying attention To every step that I take To the feeling Of the ground Underneath each step The sound That each step makes As my foot strikes the ground And altering my walking To calm each step So that as much as possible I would almost Glide through the woodland Teaching myself to move As quietly as possible Because I enjoyed Seeing nature I enjoyed as I still do Seeing the unseen And animals have a tendency To freeze or disappear When humans are near And so I wouldn't want To disturb them I'd walk slowly Slowly Almost silently In a rhythmic Floating Way And I'd breathe slow And calm and quiet I'd have my body loose And limp and relaxed The sound Of the rustling leaves Of the woodland Would be much louder Than any noise That I'm making While walking Through the woodland I was learning To manage my mind And body And there were no lessons Teaching this No guidance From grown-ups I was just going out And doing what Helped me feel better And making my own Learning and discovering And I'd stop Because my vision Seemed to be able To pick out things That people don't see An owl Way off in the distance Through the trees Just a slight glimpse Of a pattern A slight glimpse Of a pattern of an owl An eye A slight side of a head Criss-crossed with branches And leaves Undulating gently In the breeze I recognised that Tiny glimpse The partial sight Of an owl And know to stop And observe And I feel like the owl Is looking back at me And so I hold My position And my breath for a moment For a moment As I calm myself down And notice How soft the owl's Feathers look How focused that owl looks Being still in the woodland I notice A grazing Deer Just a young deer Looks like it's Quite newly born And then hear the slight Crackling As other deer Come into sight And see there's A family of deer Grazing In the woodland Completely unaware Of my presence Unfazed By me being there Because I just blend in To the background A skill over the years I feel I've developed That ability to be just In the background blending in Placing importance On something other than myself Being in woodland Would bring me such a deep Sense of peace and calm Would help me to focus Help me to Manage the world around me And the chaos within the world And as I've grown up I've held on To this learning And continued to develop This learning And in morning camp When you walk Through an area of the woods You're surrounded By just trees You can't really see Anything but the trees You're surrounded by the Rustling sound of the trees As the wind blows Through the canopy But then After a short walk You reach a gate And when you pass Through that gate The landscape opens up Into a large valley With hills either side There's woodland and fields Atop the hills Some woodland up the side Of some of the hills And trees dotted Up the hills The view Is of the grass Blowing in the breeze And you can see The wave of the breeze As it moves and undulates That grass There are often cows Grazing in the valley There's often a multitude Of different birds Including birds of prey Flying and circling High overhead And at the right Time of year You can walk Through this valley And ascend To some more woodland At the top of the valley And as a child I used to gallop On the most beautiful White horse Called Snowy We used to Enter the woodland Ride through that woodland Come out in the valley And then gallop through the valley Following a route to the top And my mum Who used to teach people How to ride horses Was always surprised At my innate Natural ability To seem To get on With different animals To understand them Significantly better than I can understand People And to be able to get on To horses bareback Even those that She hadn't even Broken in yet They would come over to me I'd perhaps be sat On a fence Watching mum Breaking a horse in And then it would come over To that fence It would come alongside me I would pet it I would touch the side of its neck In a certain Kind of way that Helped me to feel A deep connection With the horse And then the horse Would seem to Acknowledge To me That it was comfortable with me Climbing on its back It would move Into the position For me to climb on its back I would gently Climb onto the horse's back Give it the most careful And firm nudge In the sides Using the pressure of One leg Or another To indicate to it Which direction to go It would move Away from the side It would walk around The field Give it a little more Nudge,

It would trot A little bit more And it would canter Change the Pressure on the horse And it would slow And take me back to that fence And pull up at the fence Where I would dismount Thank the horse for being so kind Allowing me to ride on its back Before it would continue on With mum's training breaking it in And once Getting to the top of the valley At the right time of year The woodland is some of the most Incredible woodland And you can smell this woodland Before you arrive The scent of bluebells That carpet this woodland The striking colour Of the bluebells Against the brown Trunks of the trees In the shade Of the canopy Arching overhead And you'd walk into that woodland And see That blanket Of That blanket of Bluey purple Bluebells So delicate Carpeting The floor of this area Of the woodland The sight of deer Among the bluebells Of squirrels The occasional butterfly And bees And birds in the trees And the sounds Of the songbirds echoing Through this area of woodland And that waft From those bluebells That scent Relaxing you Calming you And I'd take a camping chair With me I'd set up That camping chair In the middle of these Bluebell woods I'd rest back On that chair Close my eyes And allow myself to be Drawn away and absorbed In the experience Of this moment Feeling myself Relaxing deeper And deeper With the sound of the rustling leaves Overhead At other times I would take photographs Of the bluebells That only appear for a very Short period of time And it was important to me Then as it is now To take these moments To be out in nature To help me relax To help me continue To learn how to manage Sensory overwhelm To learn How to manage Emotional overwhelm Whether it's anger Or anxiety Whether it's panic Or some other emotion Where I just need to be able to Calm myself And as a child I used to build dens in the woods There was a storm In the 1980s And many trees in the woodland Fell down Suddenly My view of the castle In Arundel Transformed Many of the trees That were on the hills Underneath the castle Toppled in the storm And so More of the castle could be seen Many trees in the woodland toppled But those toppled trees Are great for children Large holes Were left where the tree once stood And so As a young child I would Gather up branches And I would place the branches From the Uprooted base of the tree Diagonally down To the far side of the crater Left by the fallen tree And then cover those branches In leaves And create A roof For a den And then cover all that in mud And use some branches On the inside Into the ground To hold that up A little more securely And then we'd Dig out the hole A little bit more And begin to shape it Some more So that it's no longer Just a natural hole But it has Seats And it becomes A den to hide in Somewhere the sound Is muted And the light is dimmed A location Out of any breeze A place to go Whenever it rains A place I would sometimes go And rest And sleep And daydream Other times Being in a Woodland full of trees I'd build Treehouses And different tree camps And link these together With rope bridges Among the trees So that you can Travel from one tree To the next Without having to go down To the ground And these would be Great places to come To find peace And solitude A deep sense of calm Relaxation And this love for nature The power nature has Over me The wonder I find with nature And the natural world And animals Continues on into my adulthood It continues on into the kinds Of stories that I tell And the way that I use nature In my stories To educate To teach about Overcoming anxiety Learning To focus attention Reducing discomfort And many other therapeutic benefits Because I believe in the power Of nature To heal And believe in having a connection With the Natural world around me To bring a sense of peace And calm And so I wanted to Create a story that Shares my story With you That will help you to deeper understand Why my stories Are the way they are Perhaps Better understanding Me as a storyteller Creator And therapist And I remember Times when I used to set up Tents in the woods And I would camp And enjoy Resting in the tent In the doorway to the tent Feeling the warmth Of the most Comfortable Crackling campfire Smelling some Jacket potatoes Which have been cooked With the campfire And other food Enjoying That food And the campfire burning down To embers Seeing the beauty The majesty of the Night sky overhead And then settling down Into the tent And drifting And drifting and Floating Peacefully asleep Into slumberland

Reviews

Thank you for sharing these vignettes from your childhood within the realm of nature.

Absolutely loved this. I’m also autistic and felt such a connection to this. The story and every detail were so peaceful and it helped me fall into a gentle sleep.

Liked this very much but, of course fell asleep before the finish. It was very interesting to see your perspective. Thank you! I will listen to your others.