Loving Kindness During Coronavirus

With the recent outbreak of coronavirus, many of us are dealing with ambiguity, uncertainty and unmet needs related to health, safety, and survival. In times like this, even when we are taking good care of ourselves, we are most likely experiencing emotional turmoil. This talk discusses how to deal with stress and pain with mindful compassion.

This session has been recorded during the first gathering of the people in various cities in China, as well as various countries in Europe and the Americas.

Transcript

So it's wonderful to be connected right now,

So important at this time.

I am grateful also for the opportunity to use this kind of media as I've been,

I was in China during SARS time,

We didn't have these options.

So it's good to know that we can be together and finally I am giving thumbs up to technology and with gratitude and really realizing its function and how it's supporting the humanity.

It probably has been supporting all this time but it can go in a little bit weird direction as well.

So a little bit about myself,

I see a lot of names that I have not really seen before.

So I am in the practice room of the Beijing Mindfulness Center right now where we hold classes and mindfulness meditation for beginners and intermediate level advanced as well.

And often I work with people on one-on-one sessions helping them to use mindfulness to raise awareness and make better decisions about their life.

So often people come with a lot of emotions when it comes to dealing with their own difficult situations in life and all of us have experienced on personal level uncertainty,

Ambiguity and we all know how uncomfortable that feels and may feel.

So one thing that is very important in mindfulness practice is the role of community and in Buddhism it's called Sangha where people support each other and we support each other just by noticing on how we all manage our difficult situations because we can all relate and that relating is actually what compassion is about.

One of the practices of mindfulness is loving kindness meditation and there are different variations of that practice.

It is also part of mindful self-compassion teaching.

For those who read the article I already referred to the names of Dr.

Chris Germer and Christine Neff.

There are a lot of resources online for you to understand the benefits of mindful self-compassion.

Today I will share briefly about the three components of the practice which is very useful for any situation when we are dealing with difficulties and when that happens most often we also are having difficult emotions that come up.

The first presupposition of mindful self-compassion is mindfulness.

We first need to become aware that we are going through a difficult situation,

That we are experiencing stress or suffering.

Suffering here really means any stressful situation,

Any discomfort.

This comfort can be of a physical nature like pain,

Physical pain.

It can be emotional pain and it can be also mental pain,

Something that we are creating with our own way how we process the information.

The second element of the mindful self-compassion is common humanity.

Common humanity is very much an aspect that is probably what we are learning about right now.

We are all in this.

Common humanity means that we understand our own and each one of ours suffering.

In mindfulness we realize or become aware of how this discomfort is presenting itself in us,

In our body,

With our emotions or with our mental projections.

We begin to develop a kind voice towards ourselves where we recognize this is common,

This is a difficult situation.

I am not alone in my suffering and in my experience of this difficulty.

So there is a tendency for us when we experience discomfort to block that discomfort away.

We would like all of that to stop.

We don't want to feel fear,

We don't want to feel uncertainty.

We want clarity,

We want ease,

We want peace.

However this resistance to the difficulty of the situation that we are experiencing is actually causing suffering.

For sure there are certain things that are in our control and some that are outside of our control.

But the resistance to suffering is something that really resonates for me and I personally learned a lot when I started to study mindful self-compassion.

So for example to use maybe a little bit of a milder situation,

Let's say you are struggling to fall asleep at night,

There are a lot of disturbing thoughts.

So in order for you to fall asleep you really start striving,

You really keep your eyes closed and you are saying I have to fall asleep.

That would mean that we are resisting the fact that we are not able to sleep and often what that will trigger is more thinking and more tension in the body so that actually we end up having insomnia if that continues for a while.

So what does that mean at this time when we are experiencing obviously strong emotions and fear because we really don't know what is happening exactly,

How to protect ourselves and we certainly don't know how long this will last.

So how do we really go into that space and connect with emotions without resistance?

So you may just if you have pen and paper it could be also useful to maybe write some things down.

So let's say right now mentally on the mental level what kind of thoughts are coming up for you?

So you can also just consider just thinking about it but writing it down can really be helpful so that you don't need to ruminate on and on about it and at later stage you can always refer and say like oh I had that thought before already I wrote it down.

So right now bringing this mindful awareness you can just write down how is your mind responding to this situation?

What are some thoughts perhaps there are some thoughts that are bringing anxiety or anger even I heard some situations like there is some anger towards people who have actually consumed maybe some animals that are not really so common to consume.

There is some anger perhaps towards the government some anger towards political situation in the world so we are looking outward to kind of like find the justification of how somebody else has created this suffering for us.

Perhaps you are wondering if you should leave China if it is safe to stay here or any really thoughts that are coming up and you are noticing that that is bringing partially a solution but also means this solution is striving for the solution itself is the resistance so that we are not able to really settle into our presence and what is really happening for us.

As you are writing some of the thoughts that are arising or have been going through your mind perhaps concern about safety connecting with other people not liking the fact that you need to stay at home.

You may also bring into awareness what are some emotions that are really alive for you.

Is it anger,

Anxiety,

Fear,

Frustration.

And whatever it is whichever is guiding emotion for you right now is just beginning your mind to acknowledge it is okay to feel this way.

I am human we are human of course.

Maybe there is a tendency to use to show how strong we are that we are unafraid.

But just for this moment right now I really like to welcome anything any emotion that is happening for you and recognizing that emotion as part of common humanity.

Maybe you are experiencing some frustration because you are dear ones who are not maybe in China your family if you are a foreigner or friends that you have abroad who are really wanting to find out more and being worried.

So through their worry you also worry.

And as you are bringing this awareness on your thoughts and emotions bring gently this spacious awareness into welcoming your mind to connect with the body and just bring some curiosity.

So what kind of sensations have you been experiencing as this happens?

Maybe some tension in the body,

Some tension in the neck,

Shoulder,

Maybe some of you have some chronic pain that is becoming maybe even stronger due to these worries.

You can also identify some pain points in your body.

Could be back,

Could be your chest or your belly,

Maybe neck.

Rather than looking at it where it has been perhaps just inviting your attention to look what is present right now.

So I am noticing that even though I am talking about the difficult topic I am having another additional layer and that is this really desire to bring,

Give the most for you so that you take the most out of this session.

So this is creating some tension in my shoulder and some coldness in my neck and even in my hands which are usually warm.

So with this awareness just bring a soothing touch,

So connecting with that part of the body where you are experiencing tension.

And if there is no awareness of the physical sensations but you are experiencing some emotions you can also just gently place a hand on your chest.

Just bringing a few deep breaths and just acknowledging right now this situation is difficult.

I am struggling.

There is no measure in struggle.

It doesn't have to be extreme.

Even very subtle numbing pain or discomfort.

Welcoming it.

You can also explore holding your hand on your belly or both chest and the belly.

Or if any of this is still creating some strange sensation you can also rest your hands in your lap.

Just bringing attention,

Intention of connecting with yourself right now.

You may take a few deep breaths,

Inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.

You can also release a sound that is more comfortable for you and just again acknowledging.

All the tension your body is holding as you are really trying to find a way to make sense out of everything that is going on.

I covered these two parts of mindful self compassion practice.

Recognizing the suffering,

The difficult moment that we are experiencing.

The second one is common humanity.

This is human.

What I am feeling is ok.

Many people would feel worry,

Fear,

Anger,

Anxiety at this time.

And the third one is loving kindness.

Loving kindness meditation is usually related to bringing wishes to ourselves and those around us including those who have broad suffering and difficulties to us.

And the sentence would usually start with may I now feel safe and protected.

May I now feel healthy and strong.

These are some common phrases especially at this time it would probably be most common that we are bringing these wishes to ourselves.

These sentences are distracting you and triggering more thoughts.

You can also just repeat words like safe and protected,

Healthy and strong.

And begin to search for a compassionate voice within yourself right now.

So softening,

Imagining as if you would talk to a child or somebody really dear who you know is struggling and is needing some kindness.

So often the inner critic can bring some harshness and say you shouldn't be feeling this and toughen up or even this is not fair.

Then allowing your inner critic to know that right now this kind of care is really triggering even more feelings.

So if your inner critic is willing to hear some compassionate phrases and invite you to meditate with you together right now.

So again coming back to our breath.

Letting the thoughts gently drift away.

There's no need to remember anything or hold any specific image.

If at any moment you realize that you're trying hard to get into any space just notice that that itself is also resistance and struggling.

Being open to experience whatever arises.

Letting your breath gently rock your body from within knowing that we are made of 70% water.

Just noticing your inner waves that are created with the breath.

If you're holding hand on your chest you may notice the gentle rise and fall of your chest.

And as we go into this kind of stillness and quieting our mind emotions may become even stronger.

And if you notice that you're having a desire to sleep or that your thoughts are triggered also notice that this is a way natural way of our body and our mind to protect ourselves from difficulties.

If that becomes too strong then you may either decide to sign out or lie down and fall asleep if that is necessary.

Or write down anything that is coming up just knowing that you're fully capable of taking care of yourself.

Having this awareness that right now in this sitting or lying position you're here gathering with other friends.

In recent times there have been some difficult news exposing to difficult news day by day the numbers are rising.

There is uncertainty how long this will last.

And gently acknowledging this is difficult.

And then kindly slowly gently bringing these phrases the wishes not controlling the outcome but just opening yourself up to bring some healing to your state.

Allowing these words to gently continue to bring these waves of nourishment together with your breath.

May I now feel safe and protected.

May I now feel healthy and strong.

May I now find wisdom in dealing with this difficult situation.

May I now feel safe and protected.

May I now feel healthy and strong.

May I now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

Allowing these phrases to gently bring soothing to your own thoughts.

May I now feel safe and protected.

May I now feel healthy and strong.

May I now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

Maybe there will be moments when you realize that your mind begins to wander and that is natural.

If that happens you can gently bring your attention back to the position where your hands are.

Maybe soothing touch to your breath.

Allowing to invite the phrases of goodwill.

May I now feel safe and protected.

May I now feel healthy and strong.

May I now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

As you are gently bringing this intention of soothing for yourself,

You may also bring an image or an idea of a person that you know is right now perhaps worrying about you and somebody close to you.

Or that you know is also in a difficult situation perhaps related to the same situation,

Perhaps something else,

Somebody that you deeply care for.

And then gently,

Kindly you bring the same wishes for them.

May you now feel safe and protected.

May you now feel healthy and strong.

May you now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

And you may gently hold the image of that person in your mind as you are directing good wishes to them.

And also recognizing that they are there with you,

That is shared common humanity.

May you now feel safe and protected.

You now feel healthy and strong.

May you now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

Gently allowing these words to echo in your mind.

And now gently bring into your own mind if that is okay to do so an awareness about people that you don't really know,

That you know that they are going through also difficulty.

There are many of us.

And if you are ready you can continue to share good wishes to them as well.

And if that is presenting some difficulty for you,

You can continue to either bring good wishes for yourself or for your dear ones.

And if you are ready to hold your attention to this wider global view,

Then bringing the idea of all the people who are struggling with fear,

Anxiety and worry right now and gently directing good wishes to them.

May you all now feel safe and protected.

May you all now feel healthy and strong.

May you all now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

May you all now feel safe and protected.

May you all now feel healthy and strong.

May you all now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

And you may notice that your mind is having some phases where it is more easy or difficult to focus on certain parts of the loving kindness meditation and just recognizing that and allowing it to become alive.

No need to force anything.

And we extend our loving kindness wishes to those perhaps who have caused all this suffering willingly or unwillingly,

Knowingly or unknowingly.

And perhaps just the situation,

A natural situation and bringing some forgiveness to the bats and snakes and all the creatures.

And then bringing ourselves and all those even who have been exposed directly to the virus and then sharing the good wishes to all of us.

May we all now feel safe and protected.

May we all now feel healthy and strong.

May we all now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

May we all now feel safe and protected.

May we all now feel healthy and strong.

May we all now find wisdom to deal with this difficult situation.

And then gently coming into awareness of how is your body feeling right now,

What you are experiencing.

Just allowing yourself to be present in this moment and aware.

Maybe even becoming aware that perhaps you are really trying to find some solutions to this.

And if you are experiencing some sense of ease perhaps at the moment,

Just acknowledging that this is at the moment and it's okay if the feelings arise again.

But from this space perhaps of ease and nourishment,

You may also consider writing down what is your bottom line.

Because when we meditate it's not only the purpose of meditation,

It's not only to calm us down.

That is not the end goal.

There is no goal really.

But when we find some calm and soothing,

We actually come back to the topic and then from that space look into how we could be addressing the topics that have been on our mind.

And if there are any questions.

Reviews

So helpful. This is not a polished, edited meditation but completely sincere and oh so timely. Brought me calm and compassion, for myself and all who are struggling.

Slightly shaky start, but about 2 minutes in, this becomes a marvelous tool for a very difficult time. May we all live with ease now. May we all respond to these times with wisdom.

Calming during these terrifying times sending out light and positivity especially to the teacher in Beijing 🙏🏻

We are all one world. Our hearts are heavy. Thank you very much for this loving-kindness meditation.

The world needs to hear this loving kindness meditation. I feel much better thank you.