So,
Since you're finding a comfortable position,
You can either choose to sit or lie down,
Gently finding the space for you to center.
And also,
You may already be familiar what is most comfortable for you to either gently close your eyes or keep them partially open.
And if you like,
You can begin by taking a few deep breaths and just settling into your body.
Perhaps you can also begin by putting one or two hands over your heart or any other soothing place,
Whatever you're familiar with,
Reminding yourself that you're entering the space of providing loving attention for yourself.
And now imagining yourself in a place that is safe and comfortable,
As comfortable as possible,
Allowing your mind to bring those images forward.
So it might be a cozy room with a fireplace or air conditioner,
A fan,
Or a peaceful beach with a warm sun and cool breeze,
Or maybe a forest is where you feel most comfortable.
It could also be an imaginary place,
Like floating on clouds,
Anywhere where you feel reasonably peaceful and safe,
Letting yourself enjoy being in this place for now.
And soon you will receive a visitor,
A warm and compassionate presence,
A compassionate friend.
And this visitor embodies the qualities of wisdom,
Strength,
And unconditional love.
This being may be a spiritual figure,
A wise,
Compassionate teacher,
Or a person from your past,
Like a grandparent.
They may have no particular form.
Perhaps this being is more like light or warm presence.
Whatever is appearing in your mind's eye,
Just remind yourself that this compassionate friend cares deeply about you and would like you to be happy and free from the unnecessary struggle.
Please allow any major being to come to your mind.
You have a choice to go out from your safe place and meet your compassionate friend or to invite them in.
Please take that opportunity now,
Whatever feels comfortable for you.
Placing yourself in just right the position in relation to your compassionate friend.
So you may have some respectful distance or you may be very close.
You can just follow your own choosing,
Reminding yourself of your safe space.
Imagining your compassionate friend in as much detail as possible,
Especially allowing yourself to feel what it's like to be in their presence.
There's nothing you need to do except experience the moment.
Your compassionate friend is wise and all-knowing and understands exactly where you are in your life journey.
Your friend might want to tell you something,
Something that is just what you need to hear right now.
Please take a moment and listen carefully to what your compassionate friend might have to say.
If no words come,
That's okay too.
You just continue to experience the good company and the blessing of its own.
And perhaps you would like to say something to your compassionate friend as well.
And your friend listens deeply and completely understands you.
And gently explore if there is anything you'd like to share.
And now taking a few more moments to enjoy your friend's presence.
And as you continue to enjoy their good company,
Allowing yourself to realize that your friend is actually a part of yourself.
Gently acknowledging that all the compassionate feelings,
Images,
And words that you're experiencing flow from your own inner wisdom and compassion.
Gently acknowledging yourself for this abundant resource of understanding,
Love,
And compassion that you're able to give to yourself.
And finally,
When you're ready,
Allowing the images to gradually dissolve in your mind's eye.
Remembering that compassion and wisdom are always within you,
Especially when you need them the most.
Remembering that you can call on your compassionate friend anytime you wish.
And settling back into your body and letting yourself savor what just happened.
And perhaps reflecting on the words you may have heard or the object that may have been given to you.
And finally,
Letting go of the meditation and allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel and to be exactly as you are.
Whenever you're ready,
You can gently open your eyes,
Letting yourself be present,
Whatever feels comfortable for you.
Allowing yourself to return.
As we are coming into the space to reflect on our unmet needs,
You may gently close your eyes and think of a past relationship that you still feel angry or bitter about.
So a relationship that was mildly or moderately disturbing,
But not a relationship that was perhaps traumatizing.
Even though your mind would want to bring that forward,
Just gently and kindly ask your mind to be compassionate to you when you're choosing your scenario.
It's important for this exercise that you choose a relationship in which your anger no longer serves a purpose.
And you're really ready to let go.
So now choose a specific event in that relationship that troubles you.
So you're more likely to stay alert and follow this exercise.
If you pick an event and a relationship that was not too easy and also not too tough,
You can give yourself space to remember the details as deeply as possible.
Getting in touch with your anger and even feeling it in your body.
As you're allowing your whole self to again be present in that situation,
Begin by validating anger,
Knowing that it's completely natural for you to feel as you do.
And perhaps saying to yourself,
It's okay to feel angry.
You were hurt.
This is a natural human response.
Perhaps you can share with yourself that you're not alone.
Lots of people would have felt just like you in this situation.
Fully validate the experience of being angry while trying not to get too caught up in who said or did what to whom.
Just the emotion itself.
If you're noticing that this is what you need the most right now,
There is no need for you to go further through the meditation.
You can just stay in this space.
Just let the remaining instructions slip into the background.
And remember that your anger is natural.
Be kind to yourself for the pain you have been carrying.
And perhaps by feeling the warmth and gentle touch of your hand over your heart.
If it is okay for you to move on,
So let's begin to feel back the anger and resentment.
The hard feelings.
Let's see what is underneath.
Gently begin by reflecting,
Feeling and sensing.
Are there any soft feelings behind the hard feeling of anger?
Is there some hurt?
Feeling frightened?
Lonely?
Or sad?
Could it be that the shame is there?
If you can identify a soft feeling,
Try naming it for yourself in a gentle,
Understanding voice.
As if you were supporting a dear friend.
Oh,
That sadness.
Or.
.
.
Hmm.
.
.
That's fear.
And again,
If you need to,
You can stay right here.
If this is where you're experiencing some opening and connection with yourself,
Then you can let the rest of the meditation just gently wash over you.
Just choosing what feels right to you.
And if you feel ready to move on,
See if you can release the storyline of this hurt.
If only for a while.
You may have thoughts of right and wrong.
See if you can set those thoughts aside for just a moment and ask,
What basic human need do I have?
Or did I have at that time?
That was not met.
Would it be the need to be seen?
Heard?
To be safe?
Connected?
Maybe valued?
The need for respect?
Or love?
And again,
Try naming the need in a gentle,
Understanding voice.
And if you wish to move on,
Try putting your hand on your body in a soothing way and giving yourself some warmth.
Not to make these feelings go away,
But just because they arise.
The hands that have been reaching outward,
Longing to receive compassion from others,
Can actually become the hands that give you the compassion at the time when you need it.
Even though you wish to receive kindness and understanding from another person,
They were unable to give you those things,
Whatever their reasons were.
And so right now,
As we are exploring other resource,
Our own compassion,
Then we can meet these needs more directly.
And just looking into that resourcefulness within you,
Just checking in with yourself.
What did you need to hear at that time that you were really longing to hear?
And can you begin to say to yourself now?
So for example,
If you needed to be seen,
Can you say,
I see you?
Or if you needed to feel connected,
Perhaps you can say,
I'm here for you.
You belong.
And if you needed to be respected at that time,
Can you say,
May I know my own value?
And if you needed to feel love,
Can you say,
I love you?
Or you matter to me?
After this long,
Long time of not being able to receive what you needed at that time,
Just opening to give you to yourself what you needed from someone else.
And if you're having trouble identifying your needs or giving yourself what you need,
Maybe you can just have compassion for that difficulty,
Just gently acknowledging that it's really difficult.
It's human validating that difficulty and these emotions that come as a result of that.
And then gently letting go of this exercise and simply resting in your own experience,
Letting this moment be exactly as it is and letting yourself be exactly as you are.
And then gently opening your eyes whenever you're ready.
