How To Build Safety With The Polyvagal Theory

The nervous system is the command center of the body, orchestrating the signals that guide every movement, thought, and sensation. In this talk, we learn about the polyvagal theory - an experimental theory that was first introduced in 1994. This theory has helped us learn how our nervous system interprets our internal and external world to build safety and community.

Transcript

This is nervous system nourishment.

What we do here is tend to our nervous systems,

Tend to our bodies,

Tend to the things that keep us moving.

Briefly we'll go over the nervous system,

We'll have a grounding technique,

And then we'll carry on with our day.

Our goal in these sessions is really to give ourselves an opportunity to connect with ourselves,

With others,

Give ourselves an opportunity to nourish,

Give us an opportunity to support our being that really gets us through the whole day.

There is a lot of things happening in the world,

There's so many changes,

There's so many day-to-day activities that can offer a lot of stress,

And all we're doing is supporting ourselves.

There is no more need to control anything or manipulate anything.

We're just here to offer our body and our mind a little bit of support.

So today we're going to be talking about the Holly Bagel theory.

It is a theory that I have been very much interested in the last couple of weeks and have been really looking into on a deeper basis.

So we're gonna briefly learn about it,

Then we'll get into our session,

And then we'll continue on with our beautiful selves.

The Holly Bagel theory is an experimental theory that was first introduced in 1994.

So it's relatively recent in our modern medicine age,

And because of that there are quite a few critiques of it.

And one of those critiques is that it oversimplifies the understanding that we have with our emotions and our social understanding.

Now the concept of community and the concept of growing and supporting each other is not new.

It did not start in 1994.

So although this is a critique and definitely should be considered,

I do encourage you to look at some things that are interesting and there will always be different ways of learning and growing.

And so I definitely encourage you to see the critiques as well as take what works for you.

Some stuff that is really interesting about this Holly Bagel theory is that it breaks down the states of being in a way that is very unique,

Right?

So we have three main states.

We have ventral vagal state,

We have synthetic state,

And our dorsal vagal state.

Our ventral vagal state is when we're feeling at ease,

When we're feeling social,

When we're feeling safe.

This is something that is often known outside of this theory as our parasympathetic state,

Right?

Our parasympathetic nervous system which relaxes and digests and helps us nourish our body.

And this sympathetic state we may feel,

We've heard this a couple times,

And that is essentially our fight-or-flight,

Right?

It's when we have this adrenaline rush,

When we need to act quickly.

Now what is interesting about Holly Bagel is this third state which essentially talks about when we have lived in such an extreme state of stress that we have hopelessness,

We get numb,

We feel this disconnection.

This is called our dorsal vagal state.

And this is often where we shut down,

Where we freeze and,

You know,

Impacting the way that we move throughout the day,

Whether that is through severe anxiety or stress,

Insomnia,

Depression,

Any of these sort of life-altering states that we live in and that becomes a part of our day-to-day.

What is super cool about Holly Bagel theory,

In my opinion,

Is a portion that is called neuroception.

And what that means is that our body,

Our nervous system,

Is constantly scanning our environment for safety.

And that includes things,

Right?

Our literal tangible objects around us,

But it also includes the people in our space.

So that means picking up on facial expressions,

On body language,

On eye contact.

This also helps us give our body information about how we go about being in this world.

And something that this theory talks about is co-regulation.

Now,

If you've been in these sessions before,

You know that I am not a huge fan of regulation because we don't need any more control.

I feel like we should be a little bit more free,

Right?

And in that sense,

Why do we need something in our body to regulate us?

However,

I'm going to quote it and then I'll use my own words.

Neuroception also includes the fact that we can co-regulate,

Right?

Or what I would say co-tend or co-nourish,

Co-support the people in our space.

For example,

If I am in a ventral vagal state,

But my dear friend is in a sympathetic state or even a dorsal vagal state,

Then we can have this person who is in the ventral vagal,

Who is feeling safe,

Who is feeling at ease,

Help the people in our environment also feel safe by rewiring how we are feeling,

How we rewire how to feel safe,

Right?

And so this is something I really love,

Right?

Because no,

These are not completely new concepts.

These are in the modern medicine,

1994.

These are,

You know,

Wild things.

However,

This has been around forever.

Tending to our communities,

Being a part of our collective is not new information and is something that we can offer each other,

Which is why I said,

Yes,

There are critiques to this theory.

However,

It is important to consider your own opinions and consider your own thoughts,

Especially when it comes to your own body and how you want to move forward.

Yeah.

So the polyvagal theory,

It has helped us understand in pop culture,

The vagus nerve a little bit more.

And it actually is a cluster of nerves.

It's not just one nerve,

Although it is a huge part of this theory for very obvious reasons.

But the vagus nerve is a cluster of nerves that is the longest running nerve in the autonomic or the peripheral nervous system,

Which is essentially everything that is at our spine,

Right?

Our brain.

And so it connects our brain to all these really vital organs like our heart and our lungs and our stomach and our intestine and even some parts of our face and in our throat.

And so this vagus nerve is kind of like the reset button,

Right?

It helps us when we're relaxing.

So oftentimes when we're working with our vagus nerve,

We think of things that make us feel good,

Right?

And that's what we've talked about every other week here is what one of the things that make us feel good and how can we tap into them?

Because it doesn't have to be meditation.

It doesn't have to be breathwork.

It doesn't have to be movement.

Those are just things that I really love.

But it can be anything that you find interesting.

It can be gardening.

It can be reading.

It can be cooking.

It can be going on a walk.

It can be humming.

For example,

The vagus nerve is often associated with,

You know,

Somatic exercises,

Which is one of the things that we're doing.

And one that is really helpful is humming for a lot of people.

And I found that,

For example,

When I travel,

When I'm at the airport and I'm feeling a little nervous,

I'll tend to hum.

And it's not even like But it's something that is very particular to when I'm traveling,

Right?

So that's a way for me to help relax these nerves,

Right?

And so these are things that help us work with our internal vagus nerve,

Which is helping us relax,

Right?

By slowing down our heart rate,

By managing inflammation,

Which helps communicate with our immune system,

Which we are maybe familiar with a lot of the diseases that we have in our world is associated to inflammation.

So not only does that do all of these really cool,

Tangible,

You know,

Interoception sort of work,

It is also a helpful in our emotional and social health,

Which is one of the things that this theory talks about is that we can use our environment,

We can support each other to feel at ease.

Yeah.

There's been a lot of things hasn't been a little chat.

I'm gonna go see what they say real quick.

Yes.

So dancing is definitely one of those things.

Yeah,

We're a little bit late on the language.

These are all things that we can incorporate in our day to day.

And they don't have to be perfect.

They don't have to be the best way of doing it.

Something that I really love to share is that there is no need for perfection.

First of all,

Perfection doesn't exist.

It is colonized word that is not real.

There's no thing that is perfect.

So we're not doing perfection.

We're not doing any sort of performance.

We're just practicing.

And when we practice,

We allow our space to kind of mess up,

Myself,

Allow space to just kind of do it a little messy,

And to learn and to grow.

And there's really nothing that needs to be done in a standard that is beyond what you and your body is successful in doing.

That is absolutely correct.

Perfection is as good for sure.

All right,

Y'all.

That's my nervous system speech for the day.

We are gonna get into a brief and quick meditation.

So I'll invite you to get into a comfortable,

Supportive position,

Whatever feels accessible and good for you today.

There is no wrong way to do it.

Although there are some helpful tips that I can kind of guide you through.

First things first,

If you are laying down,

I encourage you to keep your eyes open,

Because it's very tempting to fall asleep.

If you are seated in a chair,

Feet flat on the ground beneath you,

Absolutely amazing.

If you are on a cushion or pillow,

The idea is to keep your hips above your knees.

But if that's not accessible and you need to modify that,

That's perfectly fine.

You gotta do what works for you.

I'm gonna take a little sip of tea.

I'm gonna let y'all get into a position that feels good.

And then we'll get to go.

This will be a brief meditation.

Just get into our body and into our mind.

So give a couple more seconds to get into that space,

To that head space,

And to that physical space.

If you are seated or in on a cushion,

Make sure to find,

As accessible to you,

Your shoulders over your hips.

And if you can imagine this,

Placing your belly button against your spine,

That would be amazing.

What that does is it helps neutralize our hips,

But we don't actually need to suck in our bellies.

If we are laying flat,

That is also pretty solid advice.

Hi,

I'd love to take care of my back,

So I have a little cushion under my back if I'm laying down.

If you don't have a cushion,

You can roll a little sweater or towel,

Anything that just offers a little bit more back support.

And at your own pace,

Breathe in and out through your nose,

Or in through your nose and out through your mouth.

As a meditation instructor,

I will always encourage exhaling out through the nose as that really helps you focus with your exhale and keep you in tune with your breath.

However,

If your body is feeling really tight or stressed today,

Exhaling out through your mouth is actually going to signal for your body to relax.

So if you actually want to switch that up in the middle of your meditation,

You can do that as well.

It is up to you.

It's very common throughout a meditation for ideas to show up or to-do lists,

Sounds,

Temperatures,

Light winds to interfere with our meditation.

And if that does happen,

Which it will because that always happens,

Right?

Just say hello.

Say hello if you want to acknowledge it and just say,

You know,

What's up?

How you doing?

Make a brief and then get back to your breath.

That moment that you recognize when you kind of lost your breath is actually meditation,

Right?

Because if we're not here to meditate,

To,

You know,

Be floating in the clouds,

Although that feels great and that's lovely,

But that's not necessarily always going to happen or ever happen ever.

And that's also okay.

We're just working on a way to be with our body and with our mind.

Okay,

We should be in a comfortable,

Supportive position by now,

But if not,

That's okay.

You can wiggle into it.

I invite you now to deepen your breath just a little bit more.

Forcing it,

Rushing it,

Just taking deeper and deeper breaths to settle into this moment.

Considering that we have explored a different way of understanding our body and our mind,

A different way of understanding safety within our body,

We're going to focus a little bit on what safety means to us.

So as your next inhale,

I invite you to get curious,

What does safety mean to you?

If you want to think about safety,

I invite you to think about follow the sort of dictionary definition of safety.

You're welcome to do that as well,

But you can also get as creative as you want to be.

Maybe it's helpful to think what is not safe and kind of work our way backwards if that is how your mind works.

Notice any physical sensations that arise when you're exploring what safety feels like in your body.

Is there a particular area in your body that feels tense or maybe even relaxed?

Are you getting a little sweaty or are you feeling cold?

Maybe even noticing how your posture might have changed since considering what is safety to you.

As your next inhale,

I encourage you to explore different ways in which you can have safety in your life now.

Whether that means with yourself in your own body or with a friend or a group of people,

How can you advocate for safety for yourself?

Now,

Advocating for ourselves is something that is extremely difficult for many reasons.

And so if you get a little tied up in this,

That's okay.

There's no need to push any further,

But maybe you want to jump back into this thought later on with a journal or an audio message.

Something that kind of helps you tune back in.

Yes,

Boundaries are a beautiful way to encourage safety in your life.

Boundaries with yourself and boundaries with others.

Now,

With your next inhale,

How can you encourage safety with others or for others?

Allow for your breath to help you explore what this feels like in your body what it feels like in your mind.

If there's any sort of connection or maybe even a disconnection.

Again,

Understanding that you may have lost your breath,

You may have had ideas that have got you off topic,

Or maybe this is just simply a new area of exploration that you're not exactly comfortable with.

And that's okay too.

You are here to move your body.

Yes,

Your mouth,

There's no need to force it,

Although it is definitely something to look into if it's causing any sort of bold reaction.

You begin now to deepen your breath a little bit more without forcing it.

Briefly remind us what these questions were during our meditation so we can carry them on with you but we're not quite yet out of our meditation.

So our first area of exploration was what does safety mean to you?

Then we explored what does safety mean to you in your life?

What does that look like?

What does that feel like?

And then we shared that with others.

What does safety look like for us as a collective?

How can we offer safety to others?

And if you didn't have any answers in the time that we were meditating together,

That's okay.

Perfectly fine.

Allow for this information to arise whenever it feels ready to do so.

So that might be in the next few minutes,

The next day or two,

Next week,

Month,

And whenever it arrives,

It's perfectly fine.

Begin now to become a little bit more acquainted with the space that you're in.

Maybe swaying from side to side or opening your eyes slowly.

Give yourself a hug,

Wiggling your fingers,

Wiggling your tongue.

Becoming more acquainted of your space.

If you haven't done so already,

You can open up your eyes.

I thank you so,

So,

So much for joining me today.

It is so much fun to share these sessions with y'all and to have everyone participate and share what they're going through or what they like.

And so I'm really grateful for y'all.

I hope you have a really good week.