Awakening To Self Appreciation

Carl Rogers said, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change." This meditation invites you to see yourself whole, including the parts you embrace and those you wish were different; opening to the possibility of allowing yourself to be as you are now.

Transcript

So I want to just say a few words about this meditation.

There are very few things I feel like I know for sure in the sense that I believe them to be true for everyone.

But this is one.

I believe that we cannot be at peace.

We cannot be happy.

We cannot grow and evolve to our potential when we are turned against ourselves.

And by that I mean when we are constantly finding ourselves wrong and unacceptable as we are.

A famous psychologist,

Carl Rogers,

Said,

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,

Then I can change.

And I find that to be consistently true,

Is that when people really are able to accept themselves as they are,

So many doorways open,

So many possibilities.

And so a wonderful practice in our daily lives is just to notice the times that we are finding ourselves wrong,

Having thoughts that are self-critical,

And not to make that wrong,

But just to notice,

Oh,

There's a self-critical thought.

Notice how many times a day it happens.

And then the response to that can be compassion,

That we have this conditioning to be so hard on ourselves,

To believe that we must be a certain way to be acceptable.

We'll begin this meditation by coming into awareness in the body,

Sensing how it is right now in this moment,

In this body,

Heart,

Mind,

Taking a moment to meet yourself right here.

Let the breath come down through the torso,

All the way to the pelvic floor,

So the in-breath brings you more in contact with the chair beneath you.

Really inhabit that space from the inside,

Sensing yourself present within this body,

Feeling the aliveness.

Be aware of all the complexities that make this body function.

All the organs,

The muscles and tendons,

The bones,

And the skin that holds it all together.

Sensing how it all functions moment to moment without any effort on your part.

And whatever your feelings about your body,

Most of us have some feelings about our bodies.

Is it possible just now to touch into appreciation that there is this vessel from which you can experience this life?

You might experience the felt sense of feeling at home in this body,

That you can touch in here and make contact with your innermost experience.

In this moment,

Is it possible to feel a fondness for this body you live in?

A sense of it being comfortable and familiar,

A sense of being at home.

Now,

Allow yourself to think about something that is easy to like about yourself,

Whether it's a physical attribute or a talent or a personality characteristic,

Something that is part of who you are,

That you like and appreciate about yourself,

Perhaps that others have told you they appreciate about you.

And as you notice that,

What's the felt sense in the body of appreciating that quality?

Perhaps a little tenderness in the heart,

A fondness.

And now bring to mind something that's maybe a little quirky or idiosyncratic.

Maybe you've had some laughs at various times in your life about this,

But at other times it's not quite so easy to embrace.

But notice in this moment,

With this whole perspective,

Can you accept this quality about yourself?

Can you meet it with the same fondness,

Allowing that it's part of your unique expression in the world?

And now bring to mind a quality or characteristic which you struggle to accept.

And maybe don't choose the most difficult thing in this moment,

But something that's manageable,

But that you often find yourself wishing were different.

And just now,

Can you let this be part of the whole?

We have such a tendency to focus in on that which we perceive as negative in ourselves.

But from this perspective,

Appreciating your wholeness,

Can you see this challenging characteristic as one piece of who you are?

Can you allow yourself to be just as you are with all these varied attributes and challenges?

Just as we all have strengths and weaknesses,

And you're able to allow that in others,

Can you allow that in yourself?

Now bring to mind something that you have created or accomplished that feels like you feel like an expression of your particular gifts,

And allow yourself to feel the felt sense of appreciation for this capacity you have.

The aspiration here is not to inflate the ego in any way,

Or to compare ourselves with others,

But simply to touch into the heart space that feels appreciation for our own being.

Now you might bring to mind a kindness that you have done,

Something that puts you in touch with your loving,

Caring heart.

And as you remember doing that kindness,

Touch into the felt sense feeling in your body of that caring heart.

What's it like to feel the aliveness of your heart?

Really feeling appreciation for this heart that is at your center,

That has this capacity to care,

To give.

You might notice that your heart has more capacity for caring and generosity when you're not caught in finding yourself inadequate.

Feel ways that we turn against ourselves,

Find us up,

Keep our focus inward.

Exhale,

Feel our desires yay.

And so we're just taking this time to rest in appreciation.

Appreciating this being living this precious life.

Feeling this loving heart and our capacity to experience all that is as it flows through this body heart mind.

Reviews

Thank you for this, Cynthia. As someone with some background in person-centred counseling, I'm conscious that I have problems exercising, in Rogers' terms "unconditional positive regard towards myself in the way I would seek to in relation to others. I always have difficulty with those parts of metta meditations targeted at oneself, and I think the approach you adopt here feels more pragmatic and appropriate. I'll certainly return to this practice. Thank you again. With my very best wishes.

Beautiful Namaste 🙏🙏 Working on my body image and learning to love my body.

This is so deeply true and so very helpfully done. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I rarely write a review, your work I've come across twice and this really is centered, beautiful and a vibration raiser. Thank you 🙏💕

Beautiful meditation. .a little difficult for me but that's a good indicator that it's important for me to return to. Thank you for your teaching, Cynthia. 🙏

Content, delivery and timing are all very well presented.

I enjoyed the medication it was very relaxing

Loved it, thank you, namaste ❤

Insightful awakening happens witgbthis med. Thank you

Beautiful, thank you so much. 🙏

Wonderful and highly recommended. Thank you :-)

Good thoughts thank you - very helpful

So.......awesome

What a wonderful meditation! Thank you so much for posting it.

Beautiful. Thank you!

Very moving and beautiful.
Namaste x

Very helpfull. I love it.